The material presented
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So I didn't really know what topic to use to describe this post......it is just laughable to me. Of course, I may just be a bit hysterical over it all.
On Friday when I got home from work, there was a message from this guy that my AH has been trying to get a job with for the last 2-1/2 months. He had taken a drug test for it the Friday before and has been on a binge ever since. I assumed it was b/c he assumed he failed the test. Well this new message was that they (the company) had gotten everything approved and wanted to set him up for this week. This was great news or so I thought. I remember thinking.....this could be a turning point for my AH. God was giving him one more chance to wake up and get straight.
I called my AH's stepdad & told him the news. He called my AH's sister who has the phone number to contact my AH when he is on a binge. She called him and told him the news and he just couldn't believe it. He said that he would turn up at is stepdad's over the next day or two. HE NEVER SHOWED. And then she called him again to find out what he was planning and he said that he wasn't ready to come home yet.
Why do I find this so utterly funny? I mean seriously.....it isn't funny. The man is spending serious money on his credit card for crack. He could end up DEAD.....and I find it all so freakin' funny. I mean seriously....HE'S NOT READY TO COME HOME? First, he can't come home to my house...I am turning in my separation papers w/the lawyers today. I reckon he means that this will be his last binge, his last horah and he is going out with a bang.
What a joke. I used to admire this man. And now he is nothing but a joke to me. And I can't help but think that the lower he goes, the easier it is for me to tell him it is over. I used to pity him. Now, not so much. Sad when you can't even muster up pity for your A. I reckon that means that I am truly ready to move on. Heart and soul.
Sometimes when I was in a situation that was stressful like your's now, I would find it ironically funny also. I think it is my way of accepting the situation without it overwhelming me. Of course there is always pain and anger mixed in ... but you know I am grateful for that streak of humorous disbelief I had, I think it has gotten me through many things that could have dragged me down past bottom. My heart is with you right now, along with my prayers and good thoughts. Keep taking careo f you.
wow reading your post i had like a flash back! i can hear those words ringing in my ears still today "i'm not ready to come home yet" as if he's some little kid who i am asking to come in from playing. laugh, cry, whatever you need to do to get thru this. find the humor in anything you can. i can now look back to one of the many nights (before this program in my life) that i was running around crack town, 8 months pregnant, in my pj's, driving like a crazy person, screaming my head off in the middle of the street when i finally did catch my husband with his dealer. screaming that don't people care that there are crack dealers in their neighborhood??? and some smartass yelling back "not at 2 in the morning we don't" lol which one of us was on drugs?! keep your chin up, this too shall pass......
Thanks for the replies everyone. It so helps to hear that other people have been through this, are going through this....although I don't wish this on anyone. But at least I see how others have been handling it and what type of outcome resulted.
