Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ddub · ddub

I am not sure but I am more angry with myself for not being able to move on and do anything. I fight so hard against feeling crazy and sometimes it almost feels easier to just ride the slide into the darkness. I don't have much fight left in me anymore and a lot of my problem is me probably. Everything about...

kissers · kissers

My ex A begged for me to take him back. I told him I thought he had a drinking problem and he disagreed. I knew he would, but that is really not the point. It wasn't so much the drinking that bothered me. It was the name calling, put downs, expecting me to do all the work, blaming me, ignoring me. I have friends...

glad · glad

For me I don't battle the "partying". I battle emotional distance during drinking and when he's not, more when he is. When I try to talk to him he sometimes makes jokes about women vs. men and emotional connection but it's so much more than the normal issues like that. How much of my wants are...

tma0413 · tma0413

I am struggling today....AH had made a new years resolution to slow down on his drinking (his choice)...OK...so that was a month ago and Yeah, he has slowed way down...but there has still been the nights (at least 1-2 a week) where he is annoyingly drunk. Not fall down drunk, but enough to annoy me (usu...

donnarock · donnarock

hello all. i am relatively new here and i haven't really posted much. i am married to a recoverd A for seven years. we are in the process of getting a divorce. still living together, still doing some things together and still care for each other. the issue is him. he has been sober for 19 years. but h...

Codependent · Codependent

I think I have mentioned before that I have used with my A. I never had before prior to our relationship. However, I have also used some periodically without him- alot of my feelings involving my guilt with using I believe is also associated with my anxiety over using with him. Anyway, when we had our...

maresie · maresie

One reason I find myself so stressed out is that I can now see fully in technicolor how easiy I fall into the role of victim super martyr. I found myself wanting to go into work early and rescue everyone and be "liked" because I feel like a fish out of water being assertive and focused on my job se...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

Dear Family, I feel that my job may be in jeopardy. This is scaring me to death. I work in a chain drug store as a pharmacist. Each store has 2 pharmacists. My former partner was promoted, and has now become my supervisor. When she was my partner, we had some disagreements and she ended up being transferr...

serendipity · serendipity

What is the oppisite of being compassionate? I believe I am being Un-compassionate as a coping mechanism. I feel like I am trying to stay frozen all the time so that I don't have to feel the pain or anymore pain than I have already felt. I feel like I am turning into a loveless person. I don't want to be this...

Diva · Diva

I see it stated time and time again..."What others think of me is none of my business." I don't have to care what others think of me, but it IS my business, and here's why: If I don't know what others think, don't listen to what others think, and otherwise consider it "none of my business,...

justonemore · justonemore

Hello, I am new here. I am not sure what I am even doing. I know my drinking habits are far from normal and I feel they have gotten much worse in the past few months. I went from going out occassionally after I had my daughter, to going out every weekend, sometimes more than once. We don't even have the money f...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...however before I say anything further, I want to thank all of you who responded to me, one way or another, on my last post. I have appreciated every word that you have communicated to me. I have spent hours reading and rereading and contemplating each word, the hard facts, the questions, the truth...

maresie · maresie

Just a big big big thank you for all your prayers and well wishes. I went to bed last night at 8:00 p.m. I slept straight through till 4:00 a.m. I felt rested and the stress attack was over. I am back on track with a phone interview this afternoon. I have a in person interview tomorrow. I am just going to k...

Jen · Jen

An Al-Anon friend of mine just got a coin for 22 years in this program today. She is so excited. Her sponsor sent it to her in the mail because our tiny small town groups don't even have coins yet. She has shown and amazing amount of growth esp in the last year in spite of odds stacked against her. She is an ins...

Codependent · Codependent

So, don't read this if you won't to be inspired because unfortunately I seem to have back slid and may still be in the slide. I called the A for my birthday and took him out. We went to dinner and to hotel with hot tub. Spent a fortune. We talked about a lot of things and I "fell" in again- saw hi...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...feel I HAVE taken one step forward and ended up ten steps backward. ...feeling that the last four months have been a too much too fast. ...thinking that I no longer know what I believe. ...hoping that I have been able to give something back for the love and concern and support that I have received. ......

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I just got news that my 18 year old niece is getting married in August. UGH, I feel flabbergasted!! She is really young and immature and has barely one year of community college past high school. She just found out she did not get into the nursing program at the community college she is attending becau...

twain91 · twain91

I have been struggling for so long and I still am not sure this is the place for me. My husband is an alcoholic that is true. His father was one, his brothers are alcoholics and so on. His drinking has slowly corroded our marriage. The reason why I don't know if this is the place for me is that there is so mu...

maresie · maresie

For a number of reasons, my health, my income, my home, my lack of support, my job, my commute, my health my stress level is now completely off the charts. I would ask for prayers from you all. I am so absolutely totally wiped out. Maresie

maresie · maresie

As you all know I live in a place where I am constantly intruded up on by other people who live in the house. Last night this one person knocked on my door twice to ask me some stupid question about the laundry. I have put notes on my door to say do not knock and she rips them off. This other person who is a tota...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I am working really hard on keeping my emotions level - not falling to putty when AH is husband of the week and not blowing smoke out of my ears when he pulls the latest stunt. Detachment has been essential. For someone, like my AH, who is used to being the focus of attention, this is killing him. He's an...

maresie · maresie

So I heard today my last day at this present job is February 13th. But guess what I may have another job lined up as soon as this week. I just put it out there that I needed work and I may be able to go over to another department which is actually a lot nicer than the one I am in. I don't know I will get the same pa...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Hi roommates. I read the messageboards with fear in my heart for the future, and sadness for those suffering like me all because we love someone who drinks? I feel Like a dumb animal looking down the barrell of a gun. I can't get the guts to leave him, don't know if I want to or should, if I'm just in a bad mood...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The A has moved into a halfway house. I wish he would go back to jail so I can file for divorce without having to pay extra or fight about custody/visitation. Then I feel guilty for wishing ill things on him just to benefit myself. He has been ringing my phone off the hook the past few days despite the res...

ddub · ddub

Detachment is an effective tool to step back from the chaos and decide what is the best action for ourselves. It disables manipulation from A spouses/A children over time and makes the partners even more aware sometimes of the manipulation that has happened in the past and present. Alanoners st...

serendipity · serendipity

I wonder about this at times. I have felt that sometimes maybe I am too positive, too upbeat, seeing the glass WAY too full. Mostly because I was raised by the most negative woman on the planet. So, my optimism, my idea that there really is a silver lining was always laughed at and put down and I was made to f...

QOD · QOD

I have not posted in a long time. I have been checking on those I am familiar with but not felt compelled to post about me in some time. Well, I thought it was about time to post something upbeat!!! I am smiling more and more these days. And laughing too. Oh how good it feels to have something to smile abou...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Sick of being sick. I spend days coming here, reading and feeling and praying, and trying to support and give encouragement for I know how hard it is to keep putting one step in front of the other when life is hard; and then I come to the point of being utterly drained and tettering on the edge of a cliff of un...

Deb57 · Deb57

I came here to this chat room and exposed my "true self". Risky, but upon doing so, I opened a (new door) to the future. I came here seeking serenity, seeking a feeling of "I belong".."I do matter".. and in the few days I have been coming to this room to share, I find the re...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Dear AH, It's been almost 5 years since this horrible disease took you from me and our son. I miss you terribly. I used to think that we would be together forever and grow old together in happiness. Now I wonder when you will die. It sounds so extreme to even type such a thing, but it is real. You've accumula...

verenda · verenda

Really need some validation and opinions. AH and I had a terrible argument just a bit ago, now he has left to go to work. I need to know if what I said was wrong because he wrote me a letter before he left and said he did not think he needed to apologise. This is how it started; He asked me if I would check out a h...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I am struggling with this as I await responses from the 22 job applications that I sent out. It truly is out of my hands, but I should be hearing about interviews within the next 2 weeks. Let go, let God. Let go, let God.

omajoy · omajoy

Have worked as hard as I know how on detachment from my son's alcohol binges and subsequent bouts of depression at his failure at sobriety. The past ten days have been awful. His new knowledge of his EX having her lover move into the former family home with his son just broke him into a million little pi...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

...I get to go at my own pace. There are times I really surge ahead and there are times I need to take a step (or 20!!) backwards. This is Ok and this program acknowledges this. HP loves me regardless. Nothing is set in stone- everything is in guidelines. You do not have to do anything if you do not want to- it...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was reading the post about laughing and I have found myself doing it more and more. Here is one that gets me every time. I work in a building that has a state nutrition program for women and children and they have some of their promotional materials in the hall. They are these blocks that have pictures...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

My AH went to detox yesterday. The insurance only cover inpatient detox and outpatient treatment. He wanted to go to inpatient rehab but we can't afford it. When he left, i asked him what to tell his family (aunts, cousins, etc). His sister and son took him. I had to work so I couldn't be there. But...

CJC · CJC

Hello all, it has been a while since I have been around, but that is my fault and believe me when I say I have paid the price. LOL... I have missed you all horribly; I am still attending my F2F meetings, but this place has been a God send between my meetings! Thanks to you all!! So here is an update on what has be...

Becky1 · Becky1

The saga continues. I went out with friends last night, got home at 1:12 am. While I was gone, my AH who HATES me and wants a divorce, and who hasn't touched, held, kissed, me in 4 weeks, and we haven't been "man and wife" for almost 2 months...called me about 8 times between 9 and 1. And sent 6 te...

Lookingforpeace · Lookingforpeace

Hi Everyone - I have not been on for a while and just wanted to give an update. The last time I posted was probably back in November. My husband had a seizure because of an OD of meds (the wrong blend...) and I was lost confused and scared. I pretty much went into what I call "survival mode". ...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

BY PERSONAL REQUEST FROM DEBILYN... this is the sequel to the AND THEN I WONDER WHY I AM DONE IN, IF YOU DON'T LAUGH YOU CRY, BUT I CRIED LAUGHING... "TURN THE BATH TAPS OFF, THEN CALL THE FIREBRIGADE, AND THEN GET THE OTHER TORCH AND COME TO THE TOP OF THE LADDER TO SHINE THE TORCH FOR YOUR BROTHER, 'CO...

glad · glad

Okay, I'm new to the board so if this seems cheesy I'm sorry! I read a post of a list of things the person was angry with the AH about and it helped me so much to see that others struggle with some of the same issues I do, made me feel like I was not alone in my anger, sadness, and rejection (by the stupid beer not...

ddub · ddub

I do not like being a whiney wimp but I have lost touch with myself way more than I ever realized. You'd never know that I was in business mgmt prior to kids and have been at home mom now for 20 plus years. Feel like I'm a throw back to the 50's.....yuck!! I read Kisser's post about the female partner of the A...

grateful · grateful

Hello everyone, I'm having some confusion about working the program, anger, best way for me to deal with it. I've read the previous post on anger, and I have to admit I am pretty angry with my ah (we are seperated for the last 6 months) for all my family has gone through. But I do not like to live like this, e...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) It has occured to me that, as I use the slogans in my daily life, there is one I am living by more and more... "HOW IMPORTANT IS IT" When I am tempted to take another persons Inventory, when someone has done something to me, or made a comment. My past behav...

kissers · kissers

http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/Female_Partner_Alcoholic.html

Becky1 · Becky1

Last night I was at Walmart, got 3 phone calls from hubby, never mind he is NEVER home by 7pm, and it was 6:45. He gets off work @ 3 and is usually drinking at his buddy's house across the street until 7 or 8. Anyway, I guess since I have gotten so good at detaching, he keeps trying to attach himself to ME! I got...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Well, my kids just left for their first weekend with their dad. Not sure how I feel about it. I feel sadness in that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. I feel anger that my ah is acting so nice, but is really just an a**. Lastly, I feel guilty in that I feel some relief in knowing I can have some time to mys...

tma0413 · tma0413

Ok, it's been 3 weeks since AH got a OWI on the snowmobile...so tonight he calls and 'asks' if I mind if he goes out snowmobiling tonight?? I tell him "it's not my choice, I don't care." He comes home from work and starts getting ready it's all to obvious that I have an attitude...but I tell hi...

glad · glad

I have to take responsibility for me, I use my A not being perfect as an excuse to not be all I can be in my life. He suffers from drinking way too much, can't trust or live his life 100% with me (meaning see me as his 1st person) as his partner because he saw the opposite growing up. I only saw the "perfec...

maresie · maresie

I am in a horrible job where my boss picks on my every sentence, vowel, fullstop, email and more. I know in years past I would have walked out by now and suffered financial consequences. I stood on my head and offered to do a job with wierd hours. I have not heard anything from them. I was supposed to hav...

kissers · kissers

My ex contacted me tonight begging for forgiveness. I told him the only way I would take him back is if he went to AA for his drinking problem; otherwise, I have to walk away for good. This is really how I feel and I know taking him back without him getting help for himself will change nothing. I hope and pray...

Denver · Denver

Hi folks - Just a short introduction: I am a one month recent attendee of Al Anon meetings both online and f2f. I was raised by an alcoholic father (still active) and mother (sober through AA for 25 years - she has since passed ) I have been living with an active alcoholic for the past 5 years and have watche...

afglin · afglin

This morning I read the sotries that showed the alanon promise of "you will laugh more". I laughed until my sides ached. It brought to my mind a story. I have 3 dogs in the house. We have 2 doggie doors to the back yard and they come and go as they wish when we are at home. I had made an appointment f...

serendipity · serendipity

I have a great smile. That's what people tell me. I haven't smiled in so very long. I used to not even think about it. I would just naturally have a smile on my face whenever I was around others. I enjoyed being happy. Even if I wasn't happy, when i was faced with a smile, I smiled back. That's gone. I haven't b...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Oh my, I have so enjoyed the humorous posts I have read through today. Laughter is so good for my soul. I thought I'd share one of my funnier moments (though I didn't think so at the time). Bear in mind I have several dogs, with the definitive 'problem child' of those being a 26 pound wire haired terrier mix...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) The meeting today was on "perspective" Well, I have had something going on in my life recently that has put "life into perspective" for me, in many ways. For years I have watched news, Tv, about the "troops" both "Ame...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Cat stowaway makes it home again Wed Jan 23, 10:28 AM ET PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. - Some kitty math: How many lives did little tabby Gracie Mae use up when she crawled into her owner's suitcase, went through an airport X-ray machine, got loaded onto a plane, thrown onto a baggage belt and mistakenly pick...

round3 · round3

Maresie mentioned this in a previous post and it got me thinking. Physical emotional care. Wow. What is that? I mean - when I was growing up I had that. And I had that in spits and spurts probably until my mother died 8 years ago. Once she died - I have no recollection of having physical emotional car...

digby · digby

Here i am almost midnight drunk son in my kitchen. I'm hanging out to make sure he doesn't burn down the house or leave. I know detach, but I am going to sleep eventually and I don't need to have the police wake me up. I'm mad and frustrated and tired of this. He asked for help today. I said we would and by...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Back in the early 80's whilst my A was sailing the seven seas with HM, me and the kids where digging a trench in our nearly acquired home. Why were we digging this trench, well the land sloped down to our bungalow and it was a bad Spring and we were about a foot deep in muddy water all the way around, [rising by...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	irritated (Preview) I am not sure but I am more angry with myself for not being able to move on and do anything. I fight so hard against feeling crazy and sometimes it almost feels easier to just ride the slide into the darkness. I don't have much fight left in me anymore and a lot of my problem is me probably. Everything about...	ddub	6	665	Feb 1, 2008 by Jean4444
	Letting Go (Preview) My ex A begged for me to take him back. I told him I thought he had a drinking problem and he disagreed. I knew he would, but that is really not the point. It wasn't so much the drinking that bothered me. It was the name calling, put downs, expecting me to do all the work, blaming me, ignoring me. I have friends...	kissers	4	361	Feb 1, 2008 by Maria123
	What is it like for you? (Preview) For me I don't battle the "partying". I battle emotional distance during drinking and when he's not, more when he is. When I try to talk to him he sometimes makes jokes about women vs. men and emotional connection but it's so much more than the normal issues like that. How much of my wants are...	glad	5	534	Feb 1, 2008 by maresie
	Does he not love his family?? (Preview) I am struggling today....AH had made a new years resolution to slow down on his drinking (his choice)...OK...so that was a month ago and Yeah, he has slowed way down...but there has still been the nights (at least 1-2 a week) where he is annoyingly drunk. Not fall down drunk, but enough to annoy me (usu...	tma0413	10	751	Feb 1, 2008 by Pugluver
	Does the recovered A always know best?.... (Preview) hello all. i am relatively new here and i haven't really posted much. i am married to a recoverd A for seven years. we are in the process of getting a divorce. still living together, still doing some things together and still care for each other. the issue is him. he has been sober for 19 years. but h...	donnarock	7	657	Feb 1, 2008 by Karilynn
	This may be a question for NA... (Preview) I think I have mentioned before that I have used with my A. I never had before prior to our relationship. However, I have also used some periodically without him- alot of my feelings involving my guilt with using I believe is also associated with my anxiety over using with him. Anyway, when we had our...	Codependent	7	664	Feb 1, 2008 by Jerry F
	victim super martyr (Preview) One reason I find myself so stressed out is that I can now see fully in technicolor how easiy I fall into the role of victim super martyr. I found myself wanting to go into work early and rescue everyone and be "liked" because I feel like a fish out of water being assertive and focused on my job se...	maresie	5	645	Feb 1, 2008 by Jerry F
	I AM IN SHOCK (Preview) Dear Family, I feel that my job may be in jeopardy. This is scaring me to death. I work in a chain drug store as a pharmacist. Each store has 2 pharmacists. My former partner was promoted, and has now become my supervisor. When she was my partner, we had some disagreements and she ended up being transferr...	cookie1971	10	770	Feb 1, 2008 by Jerry F
	compassion (Preview) What is the oppisite of being compassionate? I believe I am being Un-compassionate as a coping mechanism. I feel like I am trying to stay frozen all the time so that I don't have to feel the pain or anymore pain than I have already felt. I feel like I am turning into a loveless person. I don't want to be this...	serendipity	4	645	Jan 31, 2008 by Jerry F
	What others think of me is none of my business....Oh really???? (Preview) I see it stated time and time again..."What others think of me is none of my business." I don't have to care what others think of me, but it IS my business, and here's why: If I don't know what others think, don't listen to what others think, and otherwise consider it "none of my business,...	Diva	20	4684	Jan 31, 2008 by norwood
	new here (Preview) Hello, I am new here. I am not sure what I am even doing. I know my drinking habits are far from normal and I feel they have gotten much worse in the past few months. I went from going out occassionally after I had my daughter, to going out every weekend, sometimes more than once. We don't even have the money f...	justonemore	5	405	Jan 31, 2008 by abbyal
	The last 24 hours...would welcome your feedback... (Preview) ...however before I say anything further, I want to thank all of you who responded to me, one way or another, on my last post. I have appreciated every word that you have communicated to me. I have spent hours reading and rereading and contemplating each word, the hard facts, the questions, the truth...	Heartbroken	12	647	Jan 31, 2008 by round3
	more on stress overload (Preview) Just a big big big thank you for all your prayers and well wishes. I went to bed last night at 8:00 p.m. I slept straight through till 4:00 a.m. I felt rested and the stress attack was over. I am back on track with a phone interview this afternoon. I have a in person interview tomorrow. I am just going to k...	maresie	2	399	Jan 31, 2008 by maresie
	22 years (Preview) An Al-Anon friend of mine just got a coin for 22 years in this program today. She is so excited. Her sponsor sent it to her in the mail because our tiny small town groups don't even have coins yet. She has shown and amazing amount of growth esp in the last year in spite of odds stacked against her. She is an ins...	Jen	6	515	Jan 31, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Confession-Hoping you all won't be disappointed in me (Preview) So, don't read this if you won't to be inspired because unfortunately I seem to have back slid and may still be in the slide. I called the A for my birthday and took him out. We went to dinner and to hotel with hot tub. Spent a fortune. We talked about a lot of things and I "fell" in again- saw hi...	Codependent	18	740	Jan 31, 2008 by Codependent
	Logged in tonight to quit (Preview) ...feel I HAVE taken one step forward and ended up ten steps backward. ...feeling that the last four months have been a too much too fast. ...thinking that I no longer know what I believe. ...hoping that I have been able to give something back for the love and concern and support that I have received. ......	Heartbroken	16	773	Jan 31, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Help me to SHUT UP! MY (Preview) I just got news that my 18 year old niece is getting married in August. UGH, I feel flabbergasted!! She is really young and immature and has barely one year of community college past high school. She just found out she did not get into the nursing program at the community college she is attending becau...	Jean4444	12	800	Jan 30, 2008 by nmike
	place for me? (Preview) I have been struggling for so long and I still am not sure this is the place for me. My husband is an alcoholic that is true. His father was one, his brothers are alcoholics and so on. His drinking has slowly corroded our marriage. The reason why I don't know if this is the place for me is that there is so mu...	twain91	3	579	Jan 30, 2008 by lin0606
	stressed to the max (Preview) For a number of reasons, my health, my income, my home, my lack of support, my job, my commute, my health my stress level is now completely off the charts. I would ask for prayers from you all. I am so absolutely totally wiped out. Maresie	maresie	2	334	Jan 30, 2008 by maresie
	Health issues (Preview) As you all know I live in a place where I am constantly intruded up on by other people who live in the house. Last night this one person knocked on my door twice to ask me some stupid question about the laundry. I have put notes on my door to say do not knock and she rips them off. This other person who is a tota...	maresie	4	550	Jan 30, 2008 by maresie
	Is it possible to communicate while detached? (Preview) I am working really hard on keeping my emotions level - not falling to putty when AH is husband of the week and not blowing smoke out of my ears when he pulls the latest stunt. Detachment has been essential. For someone, like my AH, who is used to being the focus of attention, this is killing him. He's an...	optimistundone	7	496	Jan 29, 2008 by lin0606
	HP working in my life ! (Preview) So I heard today my last day at this present job is February 13th. But guess what I may have another job lined up as soon as this week. I just put it out there that I needed work and I may be able to go over to another department which is actually a lot nicer than the one I am in. I don't know I will get the same pa...	maresie	8	697	Jan 29, 2008 by maresie
	prisoner (Preview) Hi roommates. I read the messageboards with fear in my heart for the future, and sadness for those suffering like me all because we love someone who drinks? I feel Like a dumb animal looking down the barrell of a gun. I can't get the guts to leave him, don't know if I want to or should, if I'm just in a bad mood...	silverbrumby	5	569	Jan 29, 2008 by tma0413
	Update (Preview) The A has moved into a halfway house. I wish he would go back to jail so I can file for divorce without having to pay extra or fight about custody/visitation. Then I feel guilty for wishing ill things on him just to benefit myself. He has been ringing my phone off the hook the past few days despite the res...	carolinagirl	3	529	Jan 29, 2008 by serendipity
	detachment and manipulation (Preview) Detachment is an effective tool to step back from the chaos and decide what is the best action for ourselves. It disables manipulation from A spouses/A children over time and makes the partners even more aware sometimes of the manipulation that has happened in the past and present. Alanoners st...	ddub	5	2379	Jan 29, 2008 by barisax
	The Pollyanna effect (Preview) I wonder about this at times. I have felt that sometimes maybe I am too positive, too upbeat, seeing the glass WAY too full. Mostly because I was raised by the most negative woman on the planet. So, my optimism, my idea that there really is a silver lining was always laughed at and put down and I was made to f...	serendipity	4	577	Jan 29, 2008 by tiredtonite
	Smiling more and more (Preview) I have not posted in a long time. I have been checking on those I am familiar with but not felt compelled to post about me in some time. Well, I thought it was about time to post something upbeat!!! I am smiling more and more these days. And laughing too. Oh how good it feels to have something to smile abou...	QOD	2	488	Jan 29, 2008 by carolinagirl
	AAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH (Preview) Sick of being sick. I spend days coming here, reading and feeling and praying, and trying to support and give encouragement for I know how hard it is to keep putting one step in front of the other when life is hard; and then I come to the point of being utterly drained and tettering on the edge of a cliff of un...	Heartbroken	9	733	Jan 29, 2008 by fairee
	True Self (Preview) I came here to this chat room and exposed my "true self". Risky, but upon doing so, I opened a (new door) to the future. I came here seeking serenity, seeking a feeling of "I belong".."I do matter".. and in the few days I have been coming to this room to share, I find the re...	Deb57	5	469	Jan 29, 2008 by Peggy7
	A Letter to My AH (and my HP) (Preview) Dear AH, It's been almost 5 years since this horrible disease took you from me and our son. I miss you terribly. I used to think that we would be together forever and grow old together in happiness. Now I wonder when you will die. It sounds so extreme to even type such a thing, but it is real. You've accumula...	Rocky38	2	699	Jan 29, 2008 by Jerry F
	Was I wrong? (Preview) Really need some validation and opinions. AH and I had a terrible argument just a bit ago, now he has left to go to work. I need to know if what I said was wrong because he wrote me a letter before he left and said he did not think he needed to apologise. This is how it started; He asked me if I would check out a h...	verenda	7	483	Jan 29, 2008 by Jerry F
	Let Go, Let God (Preview) I am struggling with this as I await responses from the 22 job applications that I sent out. It truly is out of my hands, but I should be hearing about interviews within the next 2 weeks. Let go, let God. Let go, let God.	optimistundone	3	632	Jan 28, 2008 by glad lee
	is this a mistake?? (Preview) Have worked as hard as I know how on detachment from my son's alcohol binges and subsequent bouts of depression at his failure at sobriety. The past ten days have been awful. His new knowledge of his EX having her lover move into the former family home with his son just broke him into a million little pi...	omajoy	4	689	Jan 28, 2008 by lmw
	What I love about this program... (Preview) ...I get to go at my own pace. There are times I really surge ahead and there are times I need to take a step (or 20!!) backwards. This is Ok and this program acknowledges this. HP loves me regardless. Nothing is set in stone- everything is in guidelines. You do not have to do anything if you do not want to- it...	Jean4444	6	657	Jan 28, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Little funny for the day. (Preview) I was reading the post about laughing and I have found myself doing it more and more. Here is one that gets me every time. I work in a building that has a state nutrition program for women and children and they have some of their promotional materials in the hall. They are these blocks that have pictures...	carolinagirl	6	621	Jan 28, 2008 by QOD
	Dealing with Addiction-Riddled In Laws (Preview) My AH went to detox yesterday. The insurance only cover inpatient detox and outpatient treatment. He wanted to go to inpatient rehab but we can't afford it. When he left, i asked him what to tell his family (aunts, cousins, etc). His sister and son took him. I had to work so I couldn't be there. But...	Lost but still trying	3	743	Jan 28, 2008 by Jerry F
	Been a while...just taking it one day at a time (Preview) Hello all, it has been a while since I have been around, but that is my fault and believe me when I say I have paid the price. LOL... I have missed you all horribly; I am still attending my F2F meetings, but this place has been a God send between my meetings! Thanks to you all!! So here is an update on what has be...	CJC	3	631	Jan 28, 2008 by Jerry F
	Taking Back My Life (Preview) The saga continues. I went out with friends last night, got home at 1:12 am. While I was gone, my AH who HATES me and wants a divorce, and who hasn't touched, held, kissed, me in 4 weeks, and we haven't been "man and wife" for almost 2 months...called me about 8 times between 9 and 1. And sent 6 te...	Becky1	5	604	Jan 28, 2008 by maresie
	An Update (Preview) Hi Everyone - I have not been on for a while and just wanted to give an update. The last time I posted was probably back in November. My husband had a seizure because of an OD of meds (the wrong blend...) and I was lost confused and scared. I pretty much went into what I call "survival mode". ...	Lookingforpeace	1	298	Jan 28, 2008 by Heartbroken
	999 CALL ... HEALTH WARNING ... THIS WILL MAKE YOUR SIDES ACHE... (Preview) BY PERSONAL REQUEST FROM DEBILYN... this is the sequel to the AND THEN I WONDER WHY I AM DONE IN, IF YOU DON'T LAUGH YOU CRY, BUT I CRIED LAUGHING... "TURN THE BATH TAPS OFF, THEN CALL THE FIREBRIGADE, AND THEN GET THE OTHER TORCH AND COME TO THE TOP OF THE LADDER TO SHINE THE TORCH FOR YOUR BROTHER, 'CO...	Heartbroken	5	565	Jan 28, 2008 by david62
	I am thankful for... (Preview) Okay, I'm new to the board so if this seems cheesy I'm sorry! I read a post of a list of things the person was angry with the AH about and it helped me so much to see that others struggle with some of the same issues I do, made me feel like I was not alone in my anger, sadness, and rejection (by the stupid beer not...	glad	9	623	Jan 28, 2008 by kissers
	I have no clue (Preview) I do not like being a whiney wimp but I have lost touch with myself way more than I ever realized. You'd never know that I was in business mgmt prior to kids and have been at home mom now for 20 plus years. Feel like I'm a throw back to the 50's.....yuck!! I read Kisser's post about the female partner of the A...	ddub	5	727	Jan 28, 2008 by ddub
	confused (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm having some confusion about working the program, anger, best way for me to deal with it. I've read the previous post on anger, and I have to admit I am pretty angry with my ah (we are seperated for the last 6 months) for all my family has gone through. But I do not like to live like this, e...	grateful	3	305	Jan 27, 2008 by ddub
	SLOGANS (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) It has occured to me that, as I use the slogans in my daily life, there is one I am living by more and more... "HOW IMPORTANT IS IT" When I am tempted to take another persons Inventory, when someone has done something to me, or made a comment. My past behav...	ally	1	506	Jan 27, 2008 by Jean4444
	The Female Partner of the Alcoholic (Preview) http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/Female_Partner_Alcoholic.html	kissers	3	585	Jan 27, 2008 by SLS
	The Struggle (Preview) Last night I was at Walmart, got 3 phone calls from hubby, never mind he is NEVER home by 7pm, and it was 6:45. He gets off work @ 3 and is usually drinking at his buddy's house across the street until 7 or 8. Anyway, I guess since I have gotten so good at detaching, he keeps trying to attach himself to ME! I got...	Becky1	7	512	Jan 27, 2008 by Loupiness
	mixed feelings (Preview) Well, my kids just left for their first weekend with their dad. Not sure how I feel about it. I feel sadness in that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. I feel anger that my ah is acting so nice, but is really just an a**. Lastly, I feel guilty in that I feel some relief in knowing I can have some time to mys...	Loupiness	4	583	Jan 27, 2008 by Loupiness
	How do I hide my feelings?? (Preview) Ok, it's been 3 weeks since AH got a OWI on the snowmobile...so tonight he calls and 'asks' if I mind if he goes out snowmobiling tonight?? I tell him "it's not my choice, I don't care." He comes home from work and starts getting ready it's all to obvious that I have an attitude...but I tell hi...	tma0413	10	736	Jan 27, 2008 by glad
	I have to take responsibility (Preview) I have to take responsibility for me, I use my A not being perfect as an excuse to not be all I can be in my life. He suffers from drinking way too much, can't trust or live his life 100% with me (meaning see me as his 1st person) as his partner because he saw the opposite growing up. I only saw the "perfec...	glad	2	841	Jan 27, 2008 by round3
	no news on the job front (Preview) I am in a horrible job where my boss picks on my every sentence, vowel, fullstop, email and more. I know in years past I would have walked out by now and suffered financial consequences. I stood on my head and offered to do a job with wierd hours. I have not heard anything from them. I was supposed to hav...	maresie	1	483	Jan 27, 2008 by glad
	I hope I did the right thing (Preview) My ex contacted me tonight begging for forgiveness. I told him the only way I would take him back is if he went to AA for his drinking problem; otherwise, I have to walk away for good. This is really how I feel and I know taking him back without him getting help for himself will change nothing. I hope and pray...	kissers	4	639	Jan 27, 2008 by Jerry F
	How to Move Forward (Preview) Hi folks - Just a short introduction: I am a one month recent attendee of Al Anon meetings both online and f2f. I was raised by an alcoholic father (still active) and mother (sober through AA for 25 years - she has since passed ) I have been living with an active alcoholic for the past 5 years and have watche...	Denver	8	671	Jan 27, 2008 by Just For Now
	my laugh more story (Preview) This morning I read the sotries that showed the alanon promise of "you will laugh more". I laughed until my sides ached. It brought to my mind a story. I have 3 dogs in the house. We have 2 doggie doors to the back yard and they come and go as they wish when we are at home. I had made an appointment f...	afglin	4	635	Jan 27, 2008 by afglin
	What stops me from smiling? (Preview) I have a great smile. That's what people tell me. I haven't smiled in so very long. I used to not even think about it. I would just naturally have a smile on my face whenever I was around others. I enjoyed being happy. Even if I wasn't happy, when i was faced with a smile, I smiled back. That's gone. I haven't b...	serendipity	3	510	Jan 27, 2008 by Becky1
	A little funny from Kansas (Preview) Oh my, I have so enjoyed the humorous posts I have read through today. Laughter is so good for my soul. I thought I'd share one of my funnier moments (though I didn't think so at the time). Bear in mind I have several dogs, with the definitive 'problem child' of those being a 26 pound wire haired terrier mix...	Tenderheartsks	4	471	Jan 27, 2008 by Becky1
	PUTTING LIFE INTO PERSPECTIVE (Preview) (((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) The meeting today was on "perspective" Well, I have had something going on in my life recently that has put "life into perspective" for me, in many ways. For years I have watched news, Tv, about the "troops" both "Ame...	ally	3	656	Jan 27, 2008 by Jerry F
	For all the cat lovers... (Preview) Cat stowaway makes it home again Wed Jan 23, 10:28 AM ET PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. - Some kitty math: How many lives did little tabby Gracie Mae use up when she crawled into her owner's suitcase, went through an airport X-ray machine, got loaded onto a plane, thrown onto a baggage belt and mistakenly pick...	Tiger2006	7	526	Jan 26, 2008 by Diva
	Physical Emotional Care (Preview) Maresie mentioned this in a previous post and it got me thinking. Physical emotional care. Wow. What is that? I mean - when I was growing up I had that. And I had that in spits and spurts probably until my mother died 8 years ago. Once she died - I have no recollection of having physical emotional car...	round3	4	539	Jan 26, 2008 by Jean4444
	Deja Vu (Preview) Here i am almost midnight drunk son in my kitchen. I'm hanging out to make sure he doesn't burn down the house or leave. I know detach, but I am going to sleep eventually and I don't need to have the police wake me up. I'm mad and frustrated and tired of this. He asked for help today. I said we would and by...	digby	4	455	Jan 26, 2008 by omajoy
	AND THEN I WONDER WHY I AM ALL DONE IN...IF YOU DON'T LAUGH YOU CRY, BUT I CRIED LAUGHING.. (Preview) Back in the early 80's whilst my A was sailing the seven seas with HM, me and the kids where digging a trench in our nearly acquired home. Why were we digging this trench, well the land sloped down to our bungalow and it was a bad Spring and we were about a foot deep in muddy water all the way around, [rising by...	Heartbroken	6	514	Jan 26, 2008 by debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.