Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

maresie · maresie

As you all know I live in a place where I am constantly intruded up on by other people who live in the house. Last night this one person knocked on my door twice to ask me some stupid question about the laundry. I have put notes on my door to say do not knock and she rips them off. This other person who is a tota...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I am working really hard on keeping my emotions level - not falling to putty when AH is husband of the week and not blowing smoke out of my ears when he pulls the latest stunt. Detachment has been essential. For someone, like my AH, who is used to being the focus of attention, this is killing him. He's an...

maresie · maresie

So I heard today my last day at this present job is February 13th. But guess what I may have another job lined up as soon as this week. I just put it out there that I needed work and I may be able to go over to another department which is actually a lot nicer than the one I am in. I don't know I will get the same pa...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Hi roommates. I read the messageboards with fear in my heart for the future, and sadness for those suffering like me all because we love someone who drinks? I feel Like a dumb animal looking down the barrell of a gun. I can't get the guts to leave him, don't know if I want to or should, if I'm just in a bad mood...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The A has moved into a halfway house. I wish he would go back to jail so I can file for divorce without having to pay extra or fight about custody/visitation. Then I feel guilty for wishing ill things on him just to benefit myself. He has been ringing my phone off the hook the past few days despite the res...

ddub · ddub

Detachment is an effective tool to step back from the chaos and decide what is the best action for ourselves. It disables manipulation from A spouses/A children over time and makes the partners even more aware sometimes of the manipulation that has happened in the past and present. Alanoners st...

serendipity · serendipity

I wonder about this at times. I have felt that sometimes maybe I am too positive, too upbeat, seeing the glass WAY too full. Mostly because I was raised by the most negative woman on the planet. So, my optimism, my idea that there really is a silver lining was always laughed at and put down and I was made to f...

QOD · QOD

I have not posted in a long time. I have been checking on those I am familiar with but not felt compelled to post about me in some time. Well, I thought it was about time to post something upbeat!!! I am smiling more and more these days. And laughing too. Oh how good it feels to have something to smile abou...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Sick of being sick. I spend days coming here, reading and feeling and praying, and trying to support and give encouragement for I know how hard it is to keep putting one step in front of the other when life is hard; and then I come to the point of being utterly drained and tettering on the edge of a cliff of un...

Deb57 · Deb57

I came here to this chat room and exposed my "true self". Risky, but upon doing so, I opened a (new door) to the future. I came here seeking serenity, seeking a feeling of "I belong".."I do matter".. and in the few days I have been coming to this room to share, I find the re...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Dear AH, It's been almost 5 years since this horrible disease took you from me and our son. I miss you terribly. I used to think that we would be together forever and grow old together in happiness. Now I wonder when you will die. It sounds so extreme to even type such a thing, but it is real. You've accumula...

verenda · verenda

Really need some validation and opinions. AH and I had a terrible argument just a bit ago, now he has left to go to work. I need to know if what I said was wrong because he wrote me a letter before he left and said he did not think he needed to apologise. This is how it started; He asked me if I would check out a h...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I am struggling with this as I await responses from the 22 job applications that I sent out. It truly is out of my hands, but I should be hearing about interviews within the next 2 weeks. Let go, let God. Let go, let God.

omajoy · omajoy

Have worked as hard as I know how on detachment from my son's alcohol binges and subsequent bouts of depression at his failure at sobriety. The past ten days have been awful. His new knowledge of his EX having her lover move into the former family home with his son just broke him into a million little pi...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

...I get to go at my own pace. There are times I really surge ahead and there are times I need to take a step (or 20!!) backwards. This is Ok and this program acknowledges this. HP loves me regardless. Nothing is set in stone- everything is in guidelines. You do not have to do anything if you do not want to- it...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was reading the post about laughing and I have found myself doing it more and more. Here is one that gets me every time. I work in a building that has a state nutrition program for women and children and they have some of their promotional materials in the hall. They are these blocks that have pictures...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

My AH went to detox yesterday. The insurance only cover inpatient detox and outpatient treatment. He wanted to go to inpatient rehab but we can't afford it. When he left, i asked him what to tell his family (aunts, cousins, etc). His sister and son took him. I had to work so I couldn't be there. But...

CJC · CJC

Hello all, it has been a while since I have been around, but that is my fault and believe me when I say I have paid the price. LOL... I have missed you all horribly; I am still attending my F2F meetings, but this place has been a God send between my meetings! Thanks to you all!! So here is an update on what has be...

Becky1 · Becky1

The saga continues. I went out with friends last night, got home at 1:12 am. While I was gone, my AH who HATES me and wants a divorce, and who hasn't touched, held, kissed, me in 4 weeks, and we haven't been "man and wife" for almost 2 months...called me about 8 times between 9 and 1. And sent 6 te...

Lookingforpeace · Lookingforpeace

Hi Everyone - I have not been on for a while and just wanted to give an update. The last time I posted was probably back in November. My husband had a seizure because of an OD of meds (the wrong blend...) and I was lost confused and scared. I pretty much went into what I call "survival mode". ...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

BY PERSONAL REQUEST FROM DEBILYN... this is the sequel to the AND THEN I WONDER WHY I AM DONE IN, IF YOU DON'T LAUGH YOU CRY, BUT I CRIED LAUGHING... "TURN THE BATH TAPS OFF, THEN CALL THE FIREBRIGADE, AND THEN GET THE OTHER TORCH AND COME TO THE TOP OF THE LADDER TO SHINE THE TORCH FOR YOUR BROTHER, 'CO...

glad · glad

Okay, I'm new to the board so if this seems cheesy I'm sorry! I read a post of a list of things the person was angry with the AH about and it helped me so much to see that others struggle with some of the same issues I do, made me feel like I was not alone in my anger, sadness, and rejection (by the stupid beer not...

ddub · ddub

I do not like being a whiney wimp but I have lost touch with myself way more than I ever realized. You'd never know that I was in business mgmt prior to kids and have been at home mom now for 20 plus years. Feel like I'm a throw back to the 50's.....yuck!! I read Kisser's post about the female partner of the A...

grateful · grateful

Hello everyone, I'm having some confusion about working the program, anger, best way for me to deal with it. I've read the previous post on anger, and I have to admit I am pretty angry with my ah (we are seperated for the last 6 months) for all my family has gone through. But I do not like to live like this, e...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) It has occured to me that, as I use the slogans in my daily life, there is one I am living by more and more... "HOW IMPORTANT IS IT" When I am tempted to take another persons Inventory, when someone has done something to me, or made a comment. My past behav...

kissers · kissers

http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/Female_Partner_Alcoholic.html

Becky1 · Becky1

Last night I was at Walmart, got 3 phone calls from hubby, never mind he is NEVER home by 7pm, and it was 6:45. He gets off work @ 3 and is usually drinking at his buddy's house across the street until 7 or 8. Anyway, I guess since I have gotten so good at detaching, he keeps trying to attach himself to ME! I got...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Well, my kids just left for their first weekend with their dad. Not sure how I feel about it. I feel sadness in that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. I feel anger that my ah is acting so nice, but is really just an a**. Lastly, I feel guilty in that I feel some relief in knowing I can have some time to mys...

tma0413 · tma0413

Ok, it's been 3 weeks since AH got a OWI on the snowmobile...so tonight he calls and 'asks' if I mind if he goes out snowmobiling tonight?? I tell him "it's not my choice, I don't care." He comes home from work and starts getting ready it's all to obvious that I have an attitude...but I tell hi...

glad · glad

I have to take responsibility for me, I use my A not being perfect as an excuse to not be all I can be in my life. He suffers from drinking way too much, can't trust or live his life 100% with me (meaning see me as his 1st person) as his partner because he saw the opposite growing up. I only saw the "perfec...

maresie · maresie

I am in a horrible job where my boss picks on my every sentence, vowel, fullstop, email and more. I know in years past I would have walked out by now and suffered financial consequences. I stood on my head and offered to do a job with wierd hours. I have not heard anything from them. I was supposed to hav...

kissers · kissers

My ex contacted me tonight begging for forgiveness. I told him the only way I would take him back is if he went to AA for his drinking problem; otherwise, I have to walk away for good. This is really how I feel and I know taking him back without him getting help for himself will change nothing. I hope and pray...

Denver · Denver

Hi folks - Just a short introduction: I am a one month recent attendee of Al Anon meetings both online and f2f. I was raised by an alcoholic father (still active) and mother (sober through AA for 25 years - she has since passed ) I have been living with an active alcoholic for the past 5 years and have watche...

afglin · afglin

This morning I read the sotries that showed the alanon promise of "you will laugh more". I laughed until my sides ached. It brought to my mind a story. I have 3 dogs in the house. We have 2 doggie doors to the back yard and they come and go as they wish when we are at home. I had made an appointment f...

serendipity · serendipity

I have a great smile. That's what people tell me. I haven't smiled in so very long. I used to not even think about it. I would just naturally have a smile on my face whenever I was around others. I enjoyed being happy. Even if I wasn't happy, when i was faced with a smile, I smiled back. That's gone. I haven't b...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Oh my, I have so enjoyed the humorous posts I have read through today. Laughter is so good for my soul. I thought I'd share one of my funnier moments (though I didn't think so at the time). Bear in mind I have several dogs, with the definitive 'problem child' of those being a 26 pound wire haired terrier mix...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) The meeting today was on "perspective" Well, I have had something going on in my life recently that has put "life into perspective" for me, in many ways. For years I have watched news, Tv, about the "troops" both "Ame...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Cat stowaway makes it home again Wed Jan 23, 10:28 AM ET PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. - Some kitty math: How many lives did little tabby Gracie Mae use up when she crawled into her owner's suitcase, went through an airport X-ray machine, got loaded onto a plane, thrown onto a baggage belt and mistakenly pick...

round3 · round3

Maresie mentioned this in a previous post and it got me thinking. Physical emotional care. Wow. What is that? I mean - when I was growing up I had that. And I had that in spits and spurts probably until my mother died 8 years ago. Once she died - I have no recollection of having physical emotional car...

digby · digby

Here i am almost midnight drunk son in my kitchen. I'm hanging out to make sure he doesn't burn down the house or leave. I know detach, but I am going to sleep eventually and I don't need to have the police wake me up. I'm mad and frustrated and tired of this. He asked for help today. I said we would and by...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Back in the early 80's whilst my A was sailing the seven seas with HM, me and the kids where digging a trench in our nearly acquired home. Why were we digging this trench, well the land sloped down to our bungalow and it was a bad Spring and we were about a foot deep in muddy water all the way around, [rising by...

kerry5 · kerry5

I have been thinking a lot lately about the past few months. All I have been through and still going through. I can think back even further and think of all the things that have gone on continuously lately. I am not one to handle stress well. Sometimes when I feel fear or something big is happening in my l...

ddub · ddub

Have felt apathetic all day and ended up full of self pity to despair. Then I start beating myself up for lack of acceptance of the it is what it is. I am angry still that I am alone in this marriage and turn to despair rather than action to make things better for myself. Then I waste time linking it with ov...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Maybe it's a woman thing, but I have a feeling if there's any individual that's ever had to "here honey, hold my purse," you'll comiserate...from my email, from Reader's Digest.... WHEN I JOINED the U.S. Air Force, it was the first time I had ever flown in an airplane. We were corralled of...

omajoy · omajoy

I found this Al-Anon promise of "we will laugh more" just startling because as I read it I realized that NO ONE in our little family has smiled or laughed naturally for soo long. Yes, we stretch our mouths sometimes when it seems appropriate but it is more like a grimace. I think I have forgo...

kissers · kissers

Because of Alanon, I have realized that I had shutdown emotionally. I would pretend things didn't hurt when they did. I thought that, that is how you were supposed to be. I grew up with an alcoholic father who always told me that women are stupid and they are there to take care of the man in the house. I lear...

maresie · maresie

Some things are finally going my way. The landlord is getting ready to get rid of some of the more antisocial people who live in my house. In a few weeks they will be gone. In addition, as some of you know I have had the job from hell for the past few months. I got yelled at again this morning over nothing! I...

Codependent · Codependent

I am at my sister's tonight and using her computer so I was able to read through some posts. I am just amazed at how similar we all are and how similar our A's are as well. Do you think that we are attracted to A's with these personalities? Or did we all just happen to wind up in these relationships, etc? I gues...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

That seems to be the theme of the week. A schoolweek full of assignments and social weirdos, still fitting in at work. The kids stayed home sick. The AH, on his 5th day clean, was just discovered drinking a beer in the car. Yesterday he fell down in the shower. He has scratches on his face and arm. He says hi...

kissers · kissers

I apologize about the copyright issue. If anyone would like to read the daily meditations, they can be found at http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view.

Deb57 · Deb57

Please allow myself to introduce myself. I am new here, and I am searching for a new beginning. Some years ago, while single(Newly divorced), my youngest son who was a whiz at the computer said "Mom, you can talk to people on the PC." I quickly responded with: " You mean I have to type?&q...

norwood · norwood

Last night our meeting topic was "what is alanon to me?" and it was suggested the I post my share. So: Much of Alanon to me is about LEARNING After all, the difference between AA and Alanon is that AA is for people with a drinking problem and Alanon is for people with a thinking problem. So, I a...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

My meds seem to have kicked in today and for the first time I have not felt dizzy. I even managed to get out with a neighbour and go for a short walk around a local beauty-spot. Utterly exhausted and feel as weak as a new born kitten, which rather took me by surprise. Sleeping is still a HUGE issue, hence my po...

tea2 · tea2

I would like to post a reminder about copyrighting, because this site is home to so many I really find this issue so important to revisit.Below is what I had posted November 2006 * * * * * * * When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retri...

serendipity · serendipity

I miss the man he was 5 years ago before he "lost his mind". Maybe he always was the way he is now and I just didn't know. But, 5 years ago, when I was pregnant with baby#3 and he had just started his new career and had just started an affair something within him changed, snapped. The man he was befo...

omajoy · omajoy

Wednesday was new visitation situation #3 with grandbaby and his daddy here for the three hour block. I want things to work out OK since we have no other choices at this time, but boy, what a difficult three hours. Baby came from school in good mood, smiling, chatting. Daddy arrived tired from work, m...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Since my dad got back from Nicaragua, all he can obsess about is money. And, more specifically, how much I cost him in money. As I sat on the phone with the health insurance agent (if nothing changes, nothing changes, right?) I thought I had secured everything and had it all worked out. I thought. M...

kissers · kissers

On occasion, our problems seem overwhelming, and we don't know where to turn. Our job is stressful. Our health is failing. But many of us face no truly threatening situations, and we still have problems. Being alive, being human, means having experiences that trouble us. It's hard to ask for help wh...

Loupiness · Loupiness

At this moment, I feel mad! I am mad that you have no idea how sad and distraught our children are I am mad that I cannot make them feel better I am mad that I will have to uproot them from the life they love I am mad that you get to be with them at your convenience and give them the best of you I am mad that you always...

desperate for help · desperate for help

I have noticed that AH will sometimes reak of Vodka while he sleeps at night. Someone told me that the alcohol is literaly exiting through his pores b/c his liver can not do it. Is this true?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Health issues (Preview) As you all know I live in a place where I am constantly intruded up on by other people who live in the house. Last night this one person knocked on my door twice to ask me some stupid question about the laundry. I have put notes on my door to say do not knock and she rips them off. This other person who is a tota...	maresie	4	512	Jan 30, 2008 by maresie
	Is it possible to communicate while detached? (Preview) I am working really hard on keeping my emotions level - not falling to putty when AH is husband of the week and not blowing smoke out of my ears when he pulls the latest stunt. Detachment has been essential. For someone, like my AH, who is used to being the focus of attention, this is killing him. He's an...	optimistundone	7	461	Jan 29, 2008 by lin0606
	HP working in my life ! (Preview) So I heard today my last day at this present job is February 13th. But guess what I may have another job lined up as soon as this week. I just put it out there that I needed work and I may be able to go over to another department which is actually a lot nicer than the one I am in. I don't know I will get the same pa...	maresie	8	660	Jan 29, 2008 by maresie
	prisoner (Preview) Hi roommates. I read the messageboards with fear in my heart for the future, and sadness for those suffering like me all because we love someone who drinks? I feel Like a dumb animal looking down the barrell of a gun. I can't get the guts to leave him, don't know if I want to or should, if I'm just in a bad mood...	silverbrumby	5	533	Jan 29, 2008 by tma0413
	Update (Preview) The A has moved into a halfway house. I wish he would go back to jail so I can file for divorce without having to pay extra or fight about custody/visitation. Then I feel guilty for wishing ill things on him just to benefit myself. He has been ringing my phone off the hook the past few days despite the res...	carolinagirl	3	493	Jan 29, 2008 by serendipity
	detachment and manipulation (Preview) Detachment is an effective tool to step back from the chaos and decide what is the best action for ourselves. It disables manipulation from A spouses/A children over time and makes the partners even more aware sometimes of the manipulation that has happened in the past and present. Alanoners st...	ddub	5	2325	Jan 29, 2008 by barisax
	The Pollyanna effect (Preview) I wonder about this at times. I have felt that sometimes maybe I am too positive, too upbeat, seeing the glass WAY too full. Mostly because I was raised by the most negative woman on the planet. So, my optimism, my idea that there really is a silver lining was always laughed at and put down and I was made to f...	serendipity	4	534	Jan 29, 2008 by tiredtonite
	Smiling more and more (Preview) I have not posted in a long time. I have been checking on those I am familiar with but not felt compelled to post about me in some time. Well, I thought it was about time to post something upbeat!!! I am smiling more and more these days. And laughing too. Oh how good it feels to have something to smile abou...	QOD	2	453	Jan 29, 2008 by carolinagirl
	AAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH (Preview) Sick of being sick. I spend days coming here, reading and feeling and praying, and trying to support and give encouragement for I know how hard it is to keep putting one step in front of the other when life is hard; and then I come to the point of being utterly drained and tettering on the edge of a cliff of un...	Heartbroken	9	695	Jan 29, 2008 by fairee
	True Self (Preview) I came here to this chat room and exposed my "true self". Risky, but upon doing so, I opened a (new door) to the future. I came here seeking serenity, seeking a feeling of "I belong".."I do matter".. and in the few days I have been coming to this room to share, I find the re...	Deb57	5	433	Jan 29, 2008 by Peggy7
	A Letter to My AH (and my HP) (Preview) Dear AH, It's been almost 5 years since this horrible disease took you from me and our son. I miss you terribly. I used to think that we would be together forever and grow old together in happiness. Now I wonder when you will die. It sounds so extreme to even type such a thing, but it is real. You've accumula...	Rocky38	2	660	Jan 29, 2008 by Jerry F
	Was I wrong? (Preview) Really need some validation and opinions. AH and I had a terrible argument just a bit ago, now he has left to go to work. I need to know if what I said was wrong because he wrote me a letter before he left and said he did not think he needed to apologise. This is how it started; He asked me if I would check out a h...	verenda	7	448	Jan 29, 2008 by Jerry F
	Let Go, Let God (Preview) I am struggling with this as I await responses from the 22 job applications that I sent out. It truly is out of my hands, but I should be hearing about interviews within the next 2 weeks. Let go, let God. Let go, let God.	optimistundone	3	594	Jan 28, 2008 by glad lee
	is this a mistake?? (Preview) Have worked as hard as I know how on detachment from my son's alcohol binges and subsequent bouts of depression at his failure at sobriety. The past ten days have been awful. His new knowledge of his EX having her lover move into the former family home with his son just broke him into a million little pi...	omajoy	4	650	Jan 28, 2008 by lmw
	What I love about this program... (Preview) ...I get to go at my own pace. There are times I really surge ahead and there are times I need to take a step (or 20!!) backwards. This is Ok and this program acknowledges this. HP loves me regardless. Nothing is set in stone- everything is in guidelines. You do not have to do anything if you do not want to- it...	Jean4444	6	618	Jan 28, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Little funny for the day. (Preview) I was reading the post about laughing and I have found myself doing it more and more. Here is one that gets me every time. I work in a building that has a state nutrition program for women and children and they have some of their promotional materials in the hall. They are these blocks that have pictures...	carolinagirl	6	578	Jan 28, 2008 by QOD
	Dealing with Addiction-Riddled In Laws (Preview) My AH went to detox yesterday. The insurance only cover inpatient detox and outpatient treatment. He wanted to go to inpatient rehab but we can't afford it. When he left, i asked him what to tell his family (aunts, cousins, etc). His sister and son took him. I had to work so I couldn't be there. But...	Lost but still trying	3	701	Jan 28, 2008 by Jerry F
	Been a while...just taking it one day at a time (Preview) Hello all, it has been a while since I have been around, but that is my fault and believe me when I say I have paid the price. LOL... I have missed you all horribly; I am still attending my F2F meetings, but this place has been a God send between my meetings! Thanks to you all!! So here is an update on what has be...	CJC	3	595	Jan 28, 2008 by Jerry F
	Taking Back My Life (Preview) The saga continues. I went out with friends last night, got home at 1:12 am. While I was gone, my AH who HATES me and wants a divorce, and who hasn't touched, held, kissed, me in 4 weeks, and we haven't been "man and wife" for almost 2 months...called me about 8 times between 9 and 1. And sent 6 te...	Becky1	5	567	Jan 28, 2008 by maresie
	An Update (Preview) Hi Everyone - I have not been on for a while and just wanted to give an update. The last time I posted was probably back in November. My husband had a seizure because of an OD of meds (the wrong blend...) and I was lost confused and scared. I pretty much went into what I call "survival mode". ...	Lookingforpeace	1	260	Jan 28, 2008 by Heartbroken
	999 CALL ... HEALTH WARNING ... THIS WILL MAKE YOUR SIDES ACHE... (Preview) BY PERSONAL REQUEST FROM DEBILYN... this is the sequel to the AND THEN I WONDER WHY I AM DONE IN, IF YOU DON'T LAUGH YOU CRY, BUT I CRIED LAUGHING... "TURN THE BATH TAPS OFF, THEN CALL THE FIREBRIGADE, AND THEN GET THE OTHER TORCH AND COME TO THE TOP OF THE LADDER TO SHINE THE TORCH FOR YOUR BROTHER, 'CO...	Heartbroken	5	522	Jan 28, 2008 by david62
	I am thankful for... (Preview) Okay, I'm new to the board so if this seems cheesy I'm sorry! I read a post of a list of things the person was angry with the AH about and it helped me so much to see that others struggle with some of the same issues I do, made me feel like I was not alone in my anger, sadness, and rejection (by the stupid beer not...	glad	9	590	Jan 28, 2008 by kissers
	I have no clue (Preview) I do not like being a whiney wimp but I have lost touch with myself way more than I ever realized. You'd never know that I was in business mgmt prior to kids and have been at home mom now for 20 plus years. Feel like I'm a throw back to the 50's.....yuck!! I read Kisser's post about the female partner of the A...	ddub	5	666	Jan 28, 2008 by ddub
	confused (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm having some confusion about working the program, anger, best way for me to deal with it. I've read the previous post on anger, and I have to admit I am pretty angry with my ah (we are seperated for the last 6 months) for all my family has gone through. But I do not like to live like this, e...	grateful	3	268	Jan 27, 2008 by ddub
	SLOGANS (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) It has occured to me that, as I use the slogans in my daily life, there is one I am living by more and more... "HOW IMPORTANT IS IT" When I am tempted to take another persons Inventory, when someone has done something to me, or made a comment. My past behav...	ally	1	467	Jan 27, 2008 by Jean4444
	The Female Partner of the Alcoholic (Preview) http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/Female_Partner_Alcoholic.html	kissers	3	543	Jan 27, 2008 by SLS
	The Struggle (Preview) Last night I was at Walmart, got 3 phone calls from hubby, never mind he is NEVER home by 7pm, and it was 6:45. He gets off work @ 3 and is usually drinking at his buddy's house across the street until 7 or 8. Anyway, I guess since I have gotten so good at detaching, he keeps trying to attach himself to ME! I got...	Becky1	7	474	Jan 27, 2008 by Loupiness
	mixed feelings (Preview) Well, my kids just left for their first weekend with their dad. Not sure how I feel about it. I feel sadness in that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. I feel anger that my ah is acting so nice, but is really just an a**. Lastly, I feel guilty in that I feel some relief in knowing I can have some time to mys...	Loupiness	4	541	Jan 27, 2008 by Loupiness
	How do I hide my feelings?? (Preview) Ok, it's been 3 weeks since AH got a OWI on the snowmobile...so tonight he calls and 'asks' if I mind if he goes out snowmobiling tonight?? I tell him "it's not my choice, I don't care." He comes home from work and starts getting ready it's all to obvious that I have an attitude...but I tell hi...	tma0413	10	696	Jan 27, 2008 by glad
	I have to take responsibility (Preview) I have to take responsibility for me, I use my A not being perfect as an excuse to not be all I can be in my life. He suffers from drinking way too much, can't trust or live his life 100% with me (meaning see me as his 1st person) as his partner because he saw the opposite growing up. I only saw the "perfec...	glad	2	806	Jan 27, 2008 by round3
	no news on the job front (Preview) I am in a horrible job where my boss picks on my every sentence, vowel, fullstop, email and more. I know in years past I would have walked out by now and suffered financial consequences. I stood on my head and offered to do a job with wierd hours. I have not heard anything from them. I was supposed to hav...	maresie	1	445	Jan 27, 2008 by glad
	I hope I did the right thing (Preview) My ex contacted me tonight begging for forgiveness. I told him the only way I would take him back is if he went to AA for his drinking problem; otherwise, I have to walk away for good. This is really how I feel and I know taking him back without him getting help for himself will change nothing. I hope and pray...	kissers	4	603	Jan 27, 2008 by Jerry F
	How to Move Forward (Preview) Hi folks - Just a short introduction: I am a one month recent attendee of Al Anon meetings both online and f2f. I was raised by an alcoholic father (still active) and mother (sober through AA for 25 years - she has since passed ) I have been living with an active alcoholic for the past 5 years and have watche...	Denver	8	626	Jan 27, 2008 by Just For Now
	my laugh more story (Preview) This morning I read the sotries that showed the alanon promise of "you will laugh more". I laughed until my sides ached. It brought to my mind a story. I have 3 dogs in the house. We have 2 doggie doors to the back yard and they come and go as they wish when we are at home. I had made an appointment f...	afglin	4	595	Jan 27, 2008 by afglin
	What stops me from smiling? (Preview) I have a great smile. That's what people tell me. I haven't smiled in so very long. I used to not even think about it. I would just naturally have a smile on my face whenever I was around others. I enjoyed being happy. Even if I wasn't happy, when i was faced with a smile, I smiled back. That's gone. I haven't b...	serendipity	3	473	Jan 27, 2008 by Becky1
	A little funny from Kansas (Preview) Oh my, I have so enjoyed the humorous posts I have read through today. Laughter is so good for my soul. I thought I'd share one of my funnier moments (though I didn't think so at the time). Bear in mind I have several dogs, with the definitive 'problem child' of those being a 26 pound wire haired terrier mix...	Tenderheartsks	4	433	Jan 27, 2008 by Becky1
	PUTTING LIFE INTO PERSPECTIVE (Preview) (((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))) The meeting today was on "perspective" Well, I have had something going on in my life recently that has put "life into perspective" for me, in many ways. For years I have watched news, Tv, about the "troops" both "Ame...	ally	3	613	Jan 27, 2008 by Jerry F
	For all the cat lovers... (Preview) Cat stowaway makes it home again Wed Jan 23, 10:28 AM ET PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. - Some kitty math: How many lives did little tabby Gracie Mae use up when she crawled into her owner's suitcase, went through an airport X-ray machine, got loaded onto a plane, thrown onto a baggage belt and mistakenly pick...	Tiger2006	7	484	Jan 26, 2008 by Diva
	Physical Emotional Care (Preview) Maresie mentioned this in a previous post and it got me thinking. Physical emotional care. Wow. What is that? I mean - when I was growing up I had that. And I had that in spits and spurts probably until my mother died 8 years ago. Once she died - I have no recollection of having physical emotional car...	round3	4	499	Jan 26, 2008 by Jean4444
	Deja Vu (Preview) Here i am almost midnight drunk son in my kitchen. I'm hanging out to make sure he doesn't burn down the house or leave. I know detach, but I am going to sleep eventually and I don't need to have the police wake me up. I'm mad and frustrated and tired of this. He asked for help today. I said we would and by...	digby	4	416	Jan 26, 2008 by omajoy
	AND THEN I WONDER WHY I AM ALL DONE IN...IF YOU DON'T LAUGH YOU CRY, BUT I CRIED LAUGHING.. (Preview) Back in the early 80's whilst my A was sailing the seven seas with HM, me and the kids where digging a trench in our nearly acquired home. Why were we digging this trench, well the land sloped down to our bungalow and it was a bad Spring and we were about a foot deep in muddy water all the way around, [rising by...	Heartbroken	6	480	Jan 26, 2008 by debilyn
	Kids ARe Truly Amazing (Preview) I have been thinking a lot lately about the past few months. All I have been through and still going through. I can think back even further and think of all the things that have gone on continuously lately. I am not one to handle stress well. Sometimes when I feel fear or something big is happening in my l...	kerry5	4	464	Jan 26, 2008 by leo
	Understanding self pity & despair (Preview) Have felt apathetic all day and ended up full of self pity to despair. Then I start beating myself up for lack of acceptance of the it is what it is. I am angry still that I am alone in this marriage and turn to despair rather than action to make things better for myself. Then I waste time linking it with ov...	ddub	8	717	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	Could NOT stop laughing at this one.. (Preview) Maybe it's a woman thing, but I have a feeling if there's any individual that's ever had to "here honey, hold my purse," you'll comiserate...from my email, from Reader's Digest.... WHEN I JOINED the U.S. Air Force, it was the first time I had ever flown in an airplane. We were corralled of...	Tiger2006	2	517	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	"We will LAUGH more" (Preview) I found this Al-Anon promise of "we will laugh more" just startling because as I read it I realized that NO ONE in our little family has smiled or laughed naturally for soo long. Yes, we stretch our mouths sometimes when it seems appropriate but it is more like a grimace. I think I have forgo...	omajoy	6	858	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	Shutting Down (Preview) Because of Alanon, I have realized that I had shutdown emotionally. I would pretend things didn't hurt when they did. I thought that, that is how you were supposed to be. I grew up with an alcoholic father who always told me that women are stupid and they are there to take care of the man in the house. I lear...	kissers	3	585	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	prayers needed (Preview) Some things are finally going my way. The landlord is getting ready to get rid of some of the more antisocial people who live in my house. In a few weeks they will be gone. In addition, as some of you know I have had the job from hell for the past few months. I got yelled at again this morning over nothing! I...	maresie	15	425	Jan 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	Us and Them (Preview) I am at my sister's tonight and using her computer so I was able to read through some posts. I am just amazed at how similar we all are and how similar our A's are as well. Do you think that we are attracted to A's with these personalities? Or did we all just happen to wind up in these relationships, etc? I gues...	Codependent	7	636	Jan 25, 2008 by Jean4444
	STRESS (Preview) That seems to be the theme of the week. A schoolweek full of assignments and social weirdos, still fitting in at work. The kids stayed home sick. The AH, on his 5th day clean, was just discovered drinking a beer in the car. Yesterday he fell down in the shower. He has scratches on his face and arm. He says hi...	RainyJamie	5	464	Jan 25, 2008 by serendipity
	Today's Gift (Preview) I apologize about the copyright issue. If anyone would like to read the daily meditations, they can be found at http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view.	kissers	2	274	Jan 25, 2008 by Jen
	My Story..My Life (Preview) Please allow myself to introduce myself. I am new here, and I am searching for a new beginning. Some years ago, while single(Newly divorced), my youngest son who was a whiz at the computer said "Mom, you can talk to people on the PC." I quickly responded with: " You mean I have to type?&q...	Deb57	5	481	Jan 25, 2008 by Deb57
	what is alanon to me (Preview) Last night our meeting topic was "what is alanon to me?" and it was suggested the I post my share. So: Much of Alanon to me is about LEARNING After all, the difference between AA and Alanon is that AA is for people with a drinking problem and Alanon is for people with a thinking problem. So, I a...	norwood	8	694	Jan 25, 2008 by march hare
	My world has stopped spinning and I managed to get out today... (Preview) My meds seem to have kicked in today and for the first time I have not felt dizzy. I even managed to get out with a neighbour and go for a short walk around a local beauty-spot. Utterly exhausted and feel as weak as a new born kitten, which rather took me by surprise. Sleeping is still a HUGE issue, hence my po...	Heartbroken	8	490	Jan 24, 2008 by Heartbroken
	COPYRIGHTING (a gentle reminder) (closed) (Preview) I would like to post a reminder about copyrighting, because this site is home to so many I really find this issue so important to revisit.Below is what I had posted November 2006 * * * * * * * When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retri...	tea2	0	393	Jan 24, 2008 by tea2
	I miss my husband (Preview) I miss the man he was 5 years ago before he "lost his mind". Maybe he always was the way he is now and I just didn't know. But, 5 years ago, when I was pregnant with baby#3 and he had just started his new career and had just started an affair something within him changed, snapped. The man he was befo...	serendipity	11	662	Jan 24, 2008 by Codependent
	Wednesday #3-aftermath (Preview) Wednesday was new visitation situation #3 with grandbaby and his daddy here for the three hour block. I want things to work out OK since we have no other choices at this time, but boy, what a difficult three hours. Baby came from school in good mood, smiling, chatting. Daddy arrived tired from work, m...	omajoy	4	316	Jan 24, 2008 by Jen
	needing to share where I'm at... (Preview) Since my dad got back from Nicaragua, all he can obsess about is money. And, more specifically, how much I cost him in money. As I sat on the phone with the health insurance agent (if nothing changes, nothing changes, right?) I thought I had secured everything and had it all worked out. I thought. M...	Tiger2006	9	1146	Jan 24, 2008 by barisax
	Asking For Help (Preview) On occasion, our problems seem overwhelming, and we don't know where to turn. Our job is stressful. Our health is failing. But many of us face no truly threatening situations, and we still have problems. Being alive, being human, means having experiences that trouble us. It's hard to ask for help wh...	kissers	3	510	Jan 24, 2008 by maresie
	Right now I am mad! (Preview) At this moment, I feel mad! I am mad that you have no idea how sad and distraught our children are I am mad that I cannot make them feel better I am mad that I will have to uproot them from the life they love I am mad that you get to be with them at your convenience and give them the best of you I am mad that you always...	Loupiness	18	641	Jan 24, 2008 by Loupiness
	My AH stinks...Literally!!! (Preview) I have noticed that AH will sometimes reak of Vodka while he sleeps at night. Someone told me that the alcohol is literaly exiting through his pores b/c his liver can not do it. Is this true?	desperate for help	11	426	Jan 24, 2008 by Jean4444
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.