Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jennfer32 · Jennfer32

It has been one week since I asked my H to leave. I hear in my head his voice "i can not be who you want me to be". I have to ask myself what it is that i wanted him to be...and it gives me healing, because i know all i was asking for was to be married to the man that i chose 13 yrs ago. I made a list....

Barbara · Barbara

Yup - this is what Im asking. To be able to live side by side with A husband and be able to happily do all the chores. Think its possible? He hasnt mowed the grass in years. Ive actually stopped the lawn man a few years ago. Why should we grow grass if Im the only one out there mowing it? I see all the neighbors...

Jennfer32 · Jennfer32

I wrote a letter to my husband today. I don't know that I will give it to him, but the message is heartfelt, and writing makes my head clearer....Thought I would share with those of you who feel the same way........ H, I think it is important for me to share with you a few of my thoughts as i go thro...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

I read Hope for today March 18th yesterday. I think my HP is trying to tell me something. I am working on that one. My A I think has been sober since the last week in April. I did find an empty bottle of wine in the trash. I thought about bringing it up but it is not that important & not my responsib...

Miranda · Miranda

I really need someone to talk to. I'm really scared, and freaked, and I'm so so confused. I don't know what to do. I just need someone to help me. Could someone come to a meeting to talk, or something? I just really need help. Mir

Barbara · Barbara

People say "Its not all about you". Program says "Keep the focus on you". How do you differentiate? Talk about the other person but keep thoughts on yourself? Difference btwn ppl in program and those no?

hudsond · hudsond

It is amazing how seeing a glimpse of light can cause life to turn upside down. Sunday my ah decided to go back to meetings. He made 2 had 2 sober days. I am not certain, he didn't talk about it, but I think he used yesterday. I didn't want to ask if he had gone to a meeting, I felt lik...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Found this one in my files today, and always loved it..... As always, feel free to alter the word "God" to "God of my understanding", but the sentiment is right on the money.... Enjoy!! Tom MEMO FROM GOD To: YOU Date: TODAY From: THE BOSS Subject: YOURSELF Referenc...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello Roomies, My grandfather goes into surgery for a double bypass at 6:30am. Please pray for him. I love him so much. And I know he is in God's hands and that is such a comfort. But I still can't help but be scared that I am going to lose my hero. Thanks for your support. Much Love,

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

I have not heard from my A since Fri afternoon of last week. I sent a letter to him Mon - not asking for an explanation, more letting him know I love him and will never turn my back on him and that I will love him forever, pray for him always, and hope for the best for a wonderful and worthwhile person......

Barbara · Barbara

He saved the emails from Jan/Feb. I called our mother controlling, etc. He doesnt see that having me testify may be detrimental to his case.

penny · penny

Yes the bubble has burst big time. I have walked out and have rented a flat at an address only my daughter knows. The lies he is telling people is beyond belief. I cant cope any more with his drinking, its a litre or more of vodka a day and I cant compete. I feel exhausted its been&...

angel123 · angel123

Reflections are from the Forum(meeting in my pocket) People who practice what they preach usually do a minimum of preching.Forum 1973 When you are ready to go over the edge remeber that God,in his wisdom and mercy,made the world round.Forum 1994

angeleyes8462 · angeleyes8462

Got a question on recovery? I haven't been coming to the board or this site very long. I am learning detachment which I am finding to be more difficult lately for me. I find myself when talking to him talking about future. I know I shouldn't be doing that "how do I stop from getting myself roped in...

peewee · peewee

For anyone who cares to read, there is a wealth of information on this site regarding research being done on the scientific effects of alcohol. www.utexas.edu/research/asrec/alcoholfacts.html MsPeewee

Jennfer32 · Jennfer32

I am a wife of an alcoholic. I married him when I was 22 yrs old, and he was my best friend. My saviour from a homelife with a bipolar mother. I was independent, strong, and determined at that time, and had the great wall of China built up around me, and brick by brick, he knocked i...

jecy · jecy

hi, i'm new to this. i've sat and read all the posts, and have found comfort and support in them. i responded to one because it felt like my life. i am 34 years old w/ 2 beautiful teenagers. i have been divorced for 7 years now. i have been w/ my partner for the last 6 years. when i met her she was just a b...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

This site is not where you can endulge in outside issues or promote and advertise outside endeavors/causes. While what you are doing may be with good intent and seemingly harmless it is outside the scope of Al-Anon, is not endorsed by Al-Anon WSO, nor this Al-Anon WSO registered group's busin...

robyn76 · robyn76

Hi all~ So, I have been separated for three weeks now and yesterday was our anniversary. Kind of awkward...we did go out last night just went and sat at a picnic table by the ocean and talked. I had a really nice night. It's funny how all of the little things I used to want to do (like t...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

Ok so I am not suppose to express anger when he drinks..Stay calm I am told...focus on myself...but I am angry...yes it is a disease...he doesn't see the problem...if not anger then what acceptance? indifference? concern?....act like nothing is wrong...but the...

helga · helga

To anyone out there; I am so tired of being the flashing, neon light for addicts I could scream. I feel like I am invisible to "normal" men, and that only those who have addiction issues see me in a crowd. It seem that the only men who are attacted to me are addicts in some form or fashion. Oh, I'...

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

I still have not tt my A since Fri afternoon. I cannot call him, he discarded me so harshly, I just cannot do it. I keep praying and releasing him to God and asking God to release me from loving him...what is the point if we are not going to be together? It was hard Saturday. Friday nights my A and I al...

kimmy123 · kimmy123

Hello, I am new to this Al-Anon site, but I was hoping that I could get some good advice and guidance in my time of desperate need. Never in my wildest imagination did I ever think that I would be living in the life that I am right now. It is one of desperation and hopelessness. Here is my story. I mar...

sparkette · sparkette

Funny that I should give myself such a gift on that wonderful day. I had my youngest daughter with me on a beautiful hike and while we sat near my favorite small, wonderous waterfall, she drew while I wrote. I think there is much to learn about giving ourselves joy and love so that is why I share it with my yo...

foggy · foggy

Hi All, I'm new here. I am a middle aged Mom, happily married, recovered alcholic. I have five sisters and we are all the classic product of Alcoholic parents who destroyed their careers, marriage and for awhile, some of us. Of the six sisters, three of us beat the disease and live h...

Jennfer32 · Jennfer32

I am new to this site, and started a post earlier, trying to tell my story. I got nauseaous..dizzy...sick....typing my past out in this pure white window...i deleted it. I went on to read the posts here, and found that I didn't have to type anything, because so many someone'...

sweetr72 · sweetr72

Hi everyone, I will start off with a quick introduction. My name is Dawn and I am from Ontario, Canada. I have been involved with Alanon for 2 years. I havent been to a meeting for a few months and im planning on attending one or more this week. My life is just in shambles right now. My common law went bac...

T47 · T47

sorry we do not give advice in Al-Anon, please join us in chat and we can offer our experience strength and hope to you in chat or here on the board if you just post your story and questions. Post edited for content. -- Edited by jrtjosey at 00:10, 2006-05-16

horselover58 · horselover58

Happy moments, praise God Difficult moments, seek God Quiet moments, worship God Painful moments, trust God Every moment, thank God Debbie

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Even though he is out of my home I still feel like I am enabling. He makes me feel bad for him, I know this is part of the con the game. Since he can not drive right now he calls me for everything, take me to the Dr. take me to the dentist......I need to just say no....One day I actually did...but mostly I jus...

kitty · kitty

I know it is only me that I'm failing. It is difficult to admit, the weakness ~ physically especially, I always had that to fall back on. Most girls can't lift 100# easily... now since I fell ill last year & the totalling of my car, I am so atrophied & weak, it is frustrating &a...

abbyal · abbyal

IN THE EARLY YRS IN AL- ANON THE WORD SPIRITUAL AWAKENING USED TO CONFUSE ME ALOT I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT IT WAS . THEN I FOUND A ONE LINER THAT SIMPLY SAID A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING WAS AS SIMPLE AS HAVING A CHANGE IN ATTITUDE. (AND SUPRISE SUPRISE I HAD ACTUALLY HAD A FEW . HEHE OUR CO FOUN...

kspear · kspear

Hello all, I have a question, which I suspect I know the answer to, but am going to ask nonetheless. Typically, I am not an emotional person (well, I suppose that's not entirely true, I do angry pretty well...). I guess what I mean is that I don't cry. Over the last few weeks, I hav...

justme · justme

The Hole One I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost ... I am helpless... It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. Two I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t belie...

bubbles1990 · bubbles1990

I know tomorrow is Mothers's Day and my kids are really special and I LOVE them with all my heart there is also a great sadness for my mom who killed herself 6 yrs ago and the pain of sadness I still feel knowing this dieases killed her!!!! I am finding that as the years pass and the more I am here in alanon that...

kitty · kitty

Do they burn out instantaneously or fade away slowly? I know you can see them from far away, that blue light they use at airports, so even a glint is enough, a tiny very hot spark. Turn inward to GOD, love, to learn to love myself & not feel the guilt of placing other's first... will it tak...

peewee · peewee

Hi there, It's great to come here and blow off steam. You don't even Have to listen, but I can pose a question to myself or anyone who cares to join in :) When hub gets fussy, interrrupts my talk, uptight, says close the door, fuss fuss, ewwwwwwwww, I get sarcastic, walk away, start sere...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

I have read in Alanon lit. that the spouses, parents, sibs, and children get so caught up in what the A is doing, their lives become unmanageable because the A and their behavior becomes their addiction and obsession. I obsess when my A has done something I don't like or if I have an issue I know I ne...

mastiff · mastiff

Hi all, just checking in. Have heard people have been wondering where i was in the room so i thought i'd post real quick... I had surgery on the 10th, nothing serious, but nothing i wanted to share with the room with, kinda personal, and i didn't want to make everyone worry. They ha...

lilms · lilms

Today I was asked to share in a forum on joy versus happiness. This is my take. Every day at least once, maybe 3 or 4 times my other half asks me if I am happy. Often I need to answer no. Sometimes that is not possible given the situation that we are living with. Joy on the other hand, almost always. Jo...

megan · megan

Hello my friends old and new Yesterday marks 1 year since I left my A husband of 14 years. I have had such a good year of growth I just wanted to post and say how good my life has become. I have reconnected with my family. I traveled to the Netherlands to visit my...

mac57 · mac57

I wrote this in a share, in our mtg today; so i KNOW i didnt write it really, it was a gift to us, and so here it is: as i turn within myself it’s only love i find and as i find that love is true and that my love is mine my heart brings my joy to me and fills my ey...

gardengal · gardengal

I pose this question, as so many times, so many of us alanoners beat ourselves up for reacting to an A's actions. I know time after time, after the fact, I would sit and cry and wonder why I said and did the things I did. After years of being told I was crazy I started to beleive that I was, because of my actions...

kent_s · kent_s

I had a very unusual experience today. I had a deep insight into myself. I'm so tired now, it is hard to recall all my thoughts from this morning. I've been through so much today, all the relationships I touched on and places I had to go to, all the feelings and thoughts wore me out. I was in a weekly...

hudsond · hudsond

It has been a ride! I'm sure it isn't over, but I have been trying hard. My AH went back to drinking last week. He has been doing crack, but as he pointed out I get more upset about the alcohol than the drug. I don't think so, it's just that with the alcohol I can definitely know whe...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

in working the steps, i saw an entry in this workbook i am doing on step 3......i am paraphrasing below, what it said and it was a LIGHTBULB moment for me... WORKBOOK___________me- versus-them" thinking and how it keeps me immobilized. even in the way I relate to my Higher Power, parti...

Barbara · Barbara

Almost time to wake him up for school. Im sending him in due to the MCAS testing. Will get him out early to take him shopping. Its been a very fast 14 years. He's graduating from Middle School in just over 5weeks - been in the Honors program and will continue next year in the High School. Yup Im proud of him - H...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))), Tomorrow is National Live Strong Day. It is about supporting cancer survivors, and research. We are suppose to wear yellow and our Live Strong bands if we have any. As many of you know, I always sign my posts with Live Strong. I even have it on m...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((((Everyone)))) Thank you for all your replies to my posts during the past week or so. My emotions have been so up and down I have not felt able to reply as much I would like to normally. I stayed at the house Fri, my husband called just before I left work to say he had to go somewhere, wouldn't tak...

MrBlue42 · MrBlue42

Hi, Just wanted to make a short but very deserving post to all the mothers out there on Mother's Day. Thank You for all you do for everyone throughout the entire year!!! Moms deserve way more credit than what they get. I saw an articl...

mac57 · mac57

Dear Mom, You took me to the grocery store and let me touch the fish, You took me to the night time stars and let me make a wish, You took me to school and said, "You do not have to stay," You smiled at me in the hospital and said, "We'll find a way." And when the pain became too much you said, "P...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello ((((Friends))))), Yesterday was Mother's Day, and what a wonderful day that is.......Hope all you fabulous mothers had a great day...... Hub called yesterday said, hope you are having a nice Mothers Day......I said, it's a fine day....at first I thought it was sarcastic...once I l...

kspear · kspear

Good morning. Guess I woke in a bad spot today. My son is barking at everyone this morning with a vengeance and I just have no patience for it. Calling everyone a retard or telling them to shut up so he can lord over the living room and play video games, because God forbid he should get u...

kspear · kspear

I just wanted to quickly apologize for being "short" (not in length, but in attitude) on a post or 2 (replies to others, I believe). I've been stuffing instead of dealing and therefore things started coming out sideways and I quite unkind. My apologies to those who the replies were directed t...

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

So far I have not caved and called him or sent him a text OR drove by his apartment OR any of his usual haunts. I have asked everyone to NOT tell me if they see him somewhere, to NOT bring up my name if they happen to bump into him. I am not coping well. I need to hear his voice! I need to touch him! I need to see h...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

Been doing a lot of reading this weekend because it is cool and felt like snuggling with the dogs under a blanket. As most of you know I seperated from my AH 6 weeks ago after 13 months in the program. I came in hell bent on learning how to live with it, and decided I couldn't for my kids sake. Now al...

search41 · search41

hi all the last time i posted was regarding my 18 yr old son needing to move in with my a, our 7 yr old son, and i, and talking about how i knew my a would never agree to it. i still havent told my a that my 18 yr old needs to move in with us, and i still know my a isnt going to agree with it. i am st...

serendipity · serendipity

thank you all for your comments and prayers. i am home for the night and back to dad's to stay tomarrow. i was really missing my kids today and they love mother's day and all the things they make themselves. love is incredible. as in dealing with the a and having to continuously remind myself of the...

peewee · peewee

Why? Prayers for all of us who believe we know the right , who have allowed the wrong to rule us. I knew I was right in some important issues raising son, allowed the dad to overrule when I knew he was wrong. I was not strong enough. I was raised with the mantra: Father know...

d53sjurne · d53sjurne

Upon looking around this site, I found a wealth of information on just about every aspect recovery from almost anything there is to recover from. It even has updated info on PTSD, including Hurricane Katrina, besides affects of trauma from most all sources and great links and 12 step progra...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	One week...and deep in thought (Preview) It has been one week since I asked my H to leave. I hear in my head his voice "i can not be who you want me to be". I have to ask myself what it is that i wanted him to be...and it gives me healing, because i know all i was asking for was to be married to the man that i chose 13 yrs ago. I made a list....	Jennfer32	5	364	May 19, 2006 by aunitedway
	Learning to live side by side w/A husband while happily doing all the chores (Preview) Yup - this is what Im asking. To be able to live side by side with A husband and be able to happily do all the chores. Think its possible? He hasnt mowed the grass in years. Ive actually stopped the lawn man a few years ago. Why should we grow grass if Im the only one out there mowing it? I see all the neighbors...	Barbara	7	430	May 19, 2006 by twinmom2
	A letter to my husband (Preview) I wrote a letter to my husband today. I don't know that I will give it to him, but the message is heartfelt, and writing makes my head clearer....Thought I would share with those of you who feel the same way........ H, I think it is important for me to share with you a few of my thoughts as i go thro...	Jennfer32	4	403	May 19, 2006 by hudsond
	Hope for Today read wrong date but right message (Preview) I read Hope for today March 18th yesterday. I think my HP is trying to tell me something. I am working on that one. My A I think has been sober since the last week in April. I did find an empty bottle of wine in the trash. I thought about bringing it up but it is not that important & not my responsib...	hmrnrnmm	1	319	May 19, 2006 by hudsond
	Please somebody help me (Preview) I really need someone to talk to. I'm really scared, and freaked, and I'm so so confused. I don't know what to do. I just need someone to help me. Could someone come to a meeting to talk, or something? I just really need help. Mir	Miranda	4	422	May 19, 2006 by sandy w
	whats the difference when someone says "Its not all about you" to "Keep the focus on you"? (Preview) People say "Its not all about you". Program says "Keep the focus on you". How do you differentiate? Talk about the other person but keep thoughts on yourself? Difference btwn ppl in program and those no?	Barbara	6	5294	May 19, 2006 by sandy w
	2 days (Preview) It is amazing how seeing a glimpse of light can cause life to turn upside down. Sunday my ah decided to go back to meetings. He made 2 had 2 sober days. I am not certain, he didn't talk about it, but I think he used yesterday. I didn't want to ask if he had gone to a meeting, I felt lik...	hudsond	5	475	May 19, 2006 by sandy w
	Memo from God (Preview) Found this one in my files today, and always loved it..... As always, feel free to alter the word "God" to "God of my understanding", but the sentiment is right on the money.... Enjoy!! Tom MEMO FROM GOD To: YOU Date: TODAY From: THE BOSS Subject: YOURSELF Referenc...	canadianguy	5	571	May 19, 2006 by sandy w
	Prayers needed (Preview) Hello Roomies, My grandfather goes into surgery for a double bypass at 6:30am. Please pray for him. I love him so much. And I know he is in God's hands and that is such a comfort. But I still can't help but be scared that I am going to lose my hero. Thanks for your support. Much Love,	Dolphin123	10	376	May 19, 2006 by sandy w
	MY "A", broken heart - hopeful (Preview) I have not heard from my A since Fri afternoon of last week. I sent a letter to him Mon - not asking for an explanation, more letting him know I love him and will never turn my back on him and that I will love him forever, pray for him always, and hope for the best for a wonderful and worthwhile person......	jennneeefffurrr	11	659	May 19, 2006 by sparkette
	Brother called me tonight - said I'm needed to testify July 27th (Preview) He saved the emails from Jan/Feb. I called our mother controlling, etc. He doesnt see that having me testify may be detrimental to his case.	Barbara	1	376	May 18, 2006 by abbyal
	Bubble has burst (Preview) Yes the bubble has burst big time. I have walked out and have rented a flat at an address only my daughter knows. The lies he is telling people is beyond belief. I cant cope any more with his drinking, its a litre or more of vodka a day and I cant compete. I feel exhausted its been&...	penny	6	429	May 18, 2006 by Jennifer
	Reflections (Preview) Reflections are from the Forum(meeting in my pocket) People who practice what they preach usually do a minimum of preching.Forum 1973 When you are ready to go over the edge remeber that God,in his wisdom and mercy,made the world round.Forum 1994	angel123	2	387	May 18, 2006 by Jerry F
	Need Advice (Preview) Got a question on recovery? I haven't been coming to the board or this site very long. I am learning detachment which I am finding to be more difficult lately for me. I find myself when talking to him talking about future. I know I shouldn't be doing that "how do I stop from getting myself roped in...	angeleyes8462	4	427	May 18, 2006 by Jerry F
	alcohol research (Preview) For anyone who cares to read, there is a wealth of information on this site regarding research being done on the scientific effects of alcohol. www.utexas.edu/research/asrec/alcoholfacts.html MsPeewee	peewee	2	424	May 18, 2006 by kent_s
	My story--OUR story (Preview) I am a wife of an alcoholic. I married him when I was 22 yrs old, and he was my best friend. My saviour from a homelife with a bipolar mother. I was independent, strong, and determined at that time, and had the great wall of China built up around me, and brick by brick, he knocked i...	Jennfer32	8	565	May 18, 2006 by justme
	living a lie... (Preview) hi, i'm new to this. i've sat and read all the posts, and have found comfort and support in them. i responded to one because it felt like my life. i am 34 years old w/ 2 beautiful teenagers. i have been divorced for 7 years now. i have been w/ my partner for the last 6 years. when i met her she was just a b...	jecy	8	566	May 18, 2006 by aunitedway
	MIP Map (closed) (Preview) This site is not where you can endulge in outside issues or promote and advertise outside endeavors/causes. While what you are doing may be with good intent and seemingly harmless it is outside the scope of Al-Anon, is not endorsed by Al-Anon WSO, nor this Al-Anon WSO registered group's busin...	jrtjosey	0	444	May 18, 2006 by canadianguy
	Happy Anniversary????? (Preview) Hi all~ So, I have been separated for three weeks now and yesterday was our anniversary. Kind of awkward...we did go out last night just went and sat at a picnic table by the ocean and talked. I had a really nice night. It's funny how all of the little things I used to want to do (like t...	robyn76	2	363	May 18, 2006 by canadianguy
	replacing the anger (Preview) Ok so I am not suppose to express anger when he drinks..Stay calm I am told...focus on myself...but I am angry...yes it is a disease...he doesn't see the problem...if not anger then what acceptance? indifference? concern?....act like nothing is wrong...but the...	Elizabeth M	4	419	May 18, 2006 by Rita G
	tired of the attraction (Preview) To anyone out there; I am so tired of being the flashing, neon light for addicts I could scream. I feel like I am invisible to "normal" men, and that only those who have addiction issues see me in a crowd. It seem that the only men who are attacted to me are addicts in some form or fashion. Oh, I'...	helga	9	405	May 18, 2006 by donnajo
	SURVIVING! barely (Preview) I still have not tt my A since Fri afternoon. I cannot call him, he discarded me so harshly, I just cannot do it. I keep praying and releasing him to God and asking God to release me from loving him...what is the point if we are not going to be together? It was hard Saturday. Friday nights my A and I al...	jennneeefffurrr	10	580	May 18, 2006 by jennneeefffurrr
	Need guidance after years of denial (Preview) Hello, I am new to this Al-Anon site, but I was hoping that I could get some good advice and guidance in my time of desperate need. Never in my wildest imagination did I ever think that I would be living in the life that I am right now. It is one of desperation and hopelessness. Here is my story. I mar...	kimmy123	5	384	May 18, 2006 by Rita G
	My Mother's Day Poem (Preview) Funny that I should give myself such a gift on that wonderful day. I had my youngest daughter with me on a beautiful hike and while we sat near my favorite small, wonderous waterfall, she drew while I wrote. I think there is much to learn about giving ourselves joy and love so that is why I share it with my yo...	sparkette	5	407	May 18, 2006 by babysteps
	disjointed fractured family (Preview) Hi All, I'm new here. I am a middle aged Mom, happily married, recovered alcholic. I have five sisters and we are all the classic product of Alcoholic parents who destroyed their careers, marriage and for awhile, some of us. Of the six sisters, three of us beat the disease and live h...	foggy	3	538	May 18, 2006 by nycbt
	Thankful and Trying to be strong. (Preview) I am new to this site, and started a post earlier, trying to tell my story. I got nauseaous..dizzy...sick....typing my past out in this pure white window...i deleted it. I went on to read the posts here, and found that I didn't have to type anything, because so many someone'...	Jennfer32	2	312	May 18, 2006 by nycbt
	New to the board and frustrated (Preview) Hi everyone, I will start off with a quick introduction. My name is Dawn and I am from Ontario, Canada. I have been involved with Alanon for 2 years. I havent been to a meeting for a few months and im planning on attending one or more this week. My life is just in shambles right now. My common law went bac...	sweetr72	9	518	May 18, 2006 by nycbt
	advice please (Preview) sorry we do not give advice in Al-Anon, please join us in chat and we can offer our experience strength and hope to you in chat or here on the board if you just post your story and questions. Post edited for content. -- Edited by jrtjosey at 00:10, 2006-05-16	T47	4	355	May 18, 2006 by nycbt
	Simple reminders (Preview) Happy moments, praise God Difficult moments, seek God Quiet moments, worship God Painful moments, trust God Every moment, thank God Debbie	horselover58	7	365	May 18, 2006 by mel123
	Why can't I stop Enabling?? (Preview) Even though he is out of my home I still feel like I am enabling. He makes me feel bad for him, I know this is part of the con the game. Since he can not drive right now he calls me for everything, take me to the Dr. take me to the dentist......I need to just say no....One day I actually did...but mostly I jus...	Andrea12	6	749	May 17, 2006 by mac57
	feeling like I'm failing (Preview) I know it is only me that I'm failing. It is difficult to admit, the weakness ~ physically especially, I always had that to fall back on. Most girls can't lift 100# easily... now since I fell ill last year & the totalling of my car, I am so atrophied & weak, it is frustrating &a...	kitty	18	638	May 17, 2006 by mac57
	SPIRITUALITY WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN? (Preview) IN THE EARLY YRS IN AL- ANON THE WORD SPIRITUAL AWAKENING USED TO CONFUSE ME ALOT I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT IT WAS . THEN I FOUND A ONE LINER THAT SIMPLY SAID A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING WAS AS SIMPLE AS HAVING A CHANGE IN ATTITUDE. (AND SUPRISE SUPRISE I HAD ACTUALLY HAD A FEW . HEHE OUR CO FOUN...	abbyal	6	479	May 17, 2006 by gardengal
	Question (Preview) Hello all, I have a question, which I suspect I know the answer to, but am going to ask nonetheless. Typically, I am not an emotional person (well, I suppose that's not entirely true, I do angry pretty well...). I guess what I mean is that I don't cry. Over the last few weeks, I hav...	kspear	3	391	May 17, 2006 by Jennifer
	I found the poem- "The Hole" check it out (Preview) The Hole One I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost ... I am helpless... It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. Two I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t belie...	justme	7	1374	May 17, 2006 by justme
	My Mothers Day Lessons...... (Preview) I know tomorrow is Mothers's Day and my kids are really special and I LOVE them with all my heart there is also a great sadness for my mom who killed herself 6 yrs ago and the pain of sadness I still feel knowing this dieases killed her!!!! I am finding that as the years pass and the more I am here in alanon that...	bubbles1990	9	414	May 17, 2006 by peewee
	Blue Flames (Preview) Do they burn out instantaneously or fade away slowly? I know you can see them from far away, that blue light they use at airports, so even a glint is enough, a tiny very hot spark. Turn inward to GOD, love, to learn to love myself & not feel the guilt of placing other's first... will it tak...	kitty	3	354	May 17, 2006 by peewee
	Snit, serenity for whom? (Preview) Hi there, It's great to come here and blow off steam. You don't even Have to listen, but I can pose a question to myself or anyone who cares to join in :) When hub gets fussy, interrrupts my talk, uptight, says close the door, fuss fuss, ewwwwwwwww, I get sarcastic, walk away, start sere...	peewee	4	361	May 17, 2006 by kent_s
	Instead of lying down I stood up for me (Preview) I have read in Alanon lit. that the spouses, parents, sibs, and children get so caught up in what the A is doing, their lives become unmanageable because the A and their behavior becomes their addiction and obsession. I obsess when my A has done something I don't like or if I have an issue I know I ne...	twinmom2	9	535	May 17, 2006 by April306
	Hi all Yes, lol I'm alive (Preview) Hi all, just checking in. Have heard people have been wondering where i was in the room so i thought i'd post real quick... I had surgery on the 10th, nothing serious, but nothing i wanted to share with the room with, kinda personal, and i didn't want to make everyone worry. They ha...	mastiff	7	465	May 17, 2006 by aunitedway
	Happiness versus JOY (Preview) Today I was asked to share in a forum on joy versus happiness. This is my take. Every day at least once, maybe 3 or 4 times my other half asks me if I am happy. Often I need to answer no. Sometimes that is not possible given the situation that we are living with. Joy on the other hand, almost always. Jo...	lilms	3	2792	May 17, 2006 by tea2
	One year of growth (Preview) Hello my friends old and new Yesterday marks 1 year since I left my A husband of 14 years. I have had such a good year of growth I just wanted to post and say how good my life has become. I have reconnected with my family. I traveled to the Netherlands to visit my...	megan	12	1282	May 17, 2006 by leo
	a little poem by mac (Preview) I wrote this in a share, in our mtg today; so i KNOW i didnt write it really, it was a gift to us, and so here it is: as i turn within myself it’s only love i find and as i find that love is true and that my love is mine my heart brings my joy to me and fills my ey...	mac57	19	629	May 17, 2006 by kitty
	Question? Do you like yourself and can you make mistakes without getting angry at yourself, realizing that you are human? (Preview) I pose this question, as so many times, so many of us alanoners beat ourselves up for reacting to an A's actions. I know time after time, after the fact, I would sit and cry and wonder why I said and did the things I did. After years of being told I was crazy I started to beleive that I was, because of my actions...	gardengal	7	394	May 16, 2006 by mebjk
	I want to share something (Preview) I had a very unusual experience today. I had a deep insight into myself. I'm so tired now, it is hard to recall all my thoughts from this morning. I've been through so much today, all the relationships I touched on and places I had to go to, all the feelings and thoughts wore me out. I was in a weekly...	kent_s	8	690	May 16, 2006 by kent_s
	New beginnings (Preview) It has been a ride! I'm sure it isn't over, but I have been trying hard. My AH went back to drinking last week. He has been doing crack, but as he pointed out I get more upset about the alcohol than the drug. I don't think so, it's just that with the alcohol I can definitely know whe...	hudsond	4	446	May 16, 2006 by Andrea12
	for those of us who have trouble "giving up" to anything (Preview) in working the steps, i saw an entry in this workbook i am doing on step 3......i am paraphrasing below, what it said and it was a LIGHTBULB moment for me... WORKBOOK___________me- versus-them" thinking and how it keeps me immobilized. even in the way I relate to my Higher Power, parti...	rosie light shines	4	445	May 16, 2006 by twinmom2
	My baby turns 14 today (Preview) Almost time to wake him up for school. Im sending him in due to the MCAS testing. Will get him out early to take him shopping. Its been a very fast 14 years. He's graduating from Middle School in just over 5weeks - been in the Honors program and will continue next year in the High School. Yup Im proud of him - H...	Barbara	6	394	May 16, 2006 by megan
	National Live Strong Day (Preview) ((((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))), Tomorrow is National Live Strong Day. It is about supporting cancer survivors, and research. We are suppose to wear yellow and our Live Strong bands if we have any. As many of you know, I always sign my posts with Live Strong. I even have it on m...	Karilynn	3	381	May 16, 2006 by megan
	fear and detachment (Preview) Hello ((((Everyone)))) Thank you for all your replies to my posts during the past week or so. My emotions have been so up and down I have not felt able to reply as much I would like to normally. I stayed at the house Fri, my husband called just before I left work to say he had to go somewhere, wouldn't tak...	Jennifer	3	451	May 16, 2006 by Jennifer
	To All the Moms (Preview) Hi, Just wanted to make a short but very deserving post to all the mothers out there on Mother's Day. Thank You for all you do for everyone throughout the entire year!!! Moms deserve way more credit than what they get. I saw an articl...	MrBlue42	10	414	May 16, 2006 by mel123
	To Mom (Preview) Dear Mom, You took me to the grocery store and let me touch the fish, You took me to the night time stars and let me make a wish, You took me to school and said, "You do not have to stay," You smiled at me in the hospital and said, "We'll find a way." And when the pain became too much you said, "P...	mac57	10	643	May 16, 2006 by mel123
	Maybe (Preview) Hello ((((Friends))))), Yesterday was Mother's Day, and what a wonderful day that is.......Hope all you fabulous mothers had a great day...... Hub called yesterday said, hope you are having a nice Mothers Day......I said, it's a fine day....at first I thought it was sarcastic...once I l...	Andrea12	4	460	May 15, 2006 by abbyal
	Tired and angry today (Preview) Good morning. Guess I woke in a bad spot today. My son is barking at everyone this morning with a vengeance and I just have no patience for it. Calling everyone a retard or telling them to shut up so he can lord over the living room and play video games, because God forbid he should get u...	kspear	4	385	May 15, 2006 by just me
	Apology (Preview) I just wanted to quickly apologize for being "short" (not in length, but in attitude) on a post or 2 (replies to others, I believe). I've been stuffing instead of dealing and therefore things started coming out sideways and I quite unkind. My apologies to those who the replies were directed t...	kspear	2	389	May 15, 2006 by bubbles1990
	Cannot Cope...I need to hear him, feel him, be close (Preview) So far I have not caved and called him or sent him a text OR drove by his apartment OR any of his usual haunts. I have asked everyone to NOT tell me if they see him somewhere, to NOT bring up my name if they happen to bump into him. I am not coping well. I need to hear his voice! I need to touch him! I need to see h...	jennneeefffurrr	7	523	May 15, 2006 by justme
	If I could have fixed me first. (Preview) Been doing a lot of reading this weekend because it is cool and felt like snuggling with the dogs under a blanket. As most of you know I seperated from my AH 6 weeks ago after 13 months in the program. I came in hell bent on learning how to live with it, and decided I couldn't for my kids sake. Now al...	jrtjosey	12	709	May 15, 2006 by justme
	prayers still needed (Preview) hi all the last time i posted was regarding my 18 yr old son needing to move in with my a, our 7 yr old son, and i, and talking about how i knew my a would never agree to it. i still havent told my a that my 18 yr old needs to move in with us, and i still know my a isnt going to agree with it. i am st...	search41	6	429	May 15, 2006 by search41
	thanks y'all (Preview) thank you all for your comments and prayers. i am home for the night and back to dad's to stay tomarrow. i was really missing my kids today and they love mother's day and all the things they make themselves. love is incredible. as in dealing with the a and having to continuously remind myself of the...	serendipity	5	351	May 15, 2006 by peewee
	Who is right? Who is strong? (Preview) Why? Prayers for all of us who believe we know the right , who have allowed the wrong to rule us. I knew I was right in some important issues raising son, allowed the dad to overrule when I knew he was wrong. I was not strong enough. I was raised with the mantra: Father know...	peewee	7	499	May 15, 2006 by peewee
	Wealth of info,PTSD,self-esteem, recovery,addictions,etc. (Preview) Upon looking around this site, I found a wealth of information on just about every aspect recovery from almost anything there is to recover from. It even has updated info on PTSD, including Hurricane Katrina, besides affects of trauma from most all sources and great links and 12 step progra...	d53sjurne	3	466	May 15, 2006 by peewee
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.