The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am wanting to scream. I have a migraine again. I feel like my head is going to explode. Saturdays we are suppose to do sales in town to earn money for our animals. We loaded the truck last nite.
Supposedly my A has been sober since the last weekend in April. I took trash off during the week and found an empty wine bottle. She had to have consumed it last weekend. Her behavior was familuar. I did not say anything because we had lost one of our dogs suddenly. I am not as mad at the fact she is drinking but the fact I am being lied to. It makes me feel like I should just post a stupid sign on my forehead.
How dare her think I will not know or find out? We have had to spent money this week on the running truck this dipped into my getting my truck running money. She is suppose to be working off a debt at a friends place now I am suppose to keep working and work our a payment plan. She does not think my truck is worth getting fixed. I am afraid that the truck we have now is going to leave us stranded again. We have been without a vehicle for 7 months at the longest time. We have gotten 3 used tires, a new battery & altenator. She did the work. Plus she had to go to an all you can eat buffet 3 times. We loaded the truck last nite with the sale items so we could go early. I got up around 730 or 8am , she got up & said she was not feeling well. Sour stomach, vomiting ,diarreah,& facial pain. this is sending up the hairs on the back of my neck. When she was drinking, the next day she had a "sinus headache" same symptoms she is having now.
She said I should go to do the sale alone. I just worked all week 39.5 hours away from here. I am disabled too. She ran to town 3 days this week. We did have a problem with a flat tire Thursday the tire store torqued the tire down too tight with the air gun and it took half and hour to get it off. So we both had killer back aches. I have this feeling she was drinking last nite when she said she was walking one of the dogs around the yard. I want to scream. If I mention my suspicions she will just blow up & get defensive. She is telling me her symptoms so if we have to go to the hospital. She is blaming it on the food she ate or maybe she has something more serious. I feel like I should stick a note in her wallet so the next time she pulls out my money to buy booze she will see that I am not as stupid as she thinks. I am going to go rest, I am tired & my head is killing me. lol I have high blood pressure too. What am I suppose to do about the lies?
She is only doing what A's do Drink !!! assume she is drinking and it will save u alot of headaches, lying to themselves and then to others is one of the nasty symptoms of this disease. We make demands of the alcoholic " don't drink" they can't fulfil it so they have to lie to get what they need. If you have our daily reader the ODAT try page on july 14th it changed my life. do what it says to the best of your ability and t will do the same for you .
Ty for your reply. I just read it. Since finding alanon in Feb/ March. I have struggled to not nag, complain, cajole anything my A. She is on her own. I was offered a job so I can be away from here. I thought she had hit rock bottom the last week of April. I let others call and lay into her about her drinking though I told them it would not work. She has never gotten beyond a month sober. We did not drink when we got together 14 years ago.
She has been telling everyone that she quit drinking. She even thought about asking her Dr for the drug to help. She did call & left a message and did not get an answer back. When we were there not too long ago, I asked if she needed to leave another message. She said no she was ok.
I have not said to her that I know. I have not told anyone we know, that I know. She mentioned an odor in the trash. So when I dumped the bag. I looked for the source, that is how I found the bottle. It is now almost 6 pm. I have been resting, crying, reading, praying etc. She is in bed all day. I refuse to do the sale alone. I did it once. It is not easy. I had to pee like 3 times. I had to ask customers/ friends I knew to watch the tables. I was gone 3 weeks in Feb, she could have done the sale alone but she did not. She was drinking then.
How do you deal with making plans? I am totally at a loss. I don't see how it is possible to make any plans with her whatsoever. I plan on going and doing the sale tomorrow. The sale is not as good as a saturday but the truck is loaded.
I am , I guess feeling guilt. I am wondering what my purpose here on earth is. Then my four legged children come and get into my face & lap & love on me. It helps some.
She is only living the life of a person who is addicted....Of course, she will lie right to your face and make her beleive you......She will tell you her arm is cut open she needs money to go to the hospital and although, you see her arm is fine she will make you beleive her......for awhile anyway.....
someone once told me the way you tell an addict is telling a lie...there lips are moving....
Stay strong, get in here and talk to us.......there is much love in our chat and at the meetings.....looking froward to talking to ya......
hmm, since living with an A is like living alone. I might as well make plans for my day.
I took my money out of her wallet & put it all up so I could get to saving to fix my truck again. She wants to borrow a car hauler trailer so we can get the truck to the repair shop but I don't have the money to fix it now. I don't think I will cash my check yet till I get it all saved. We have credit at the local store so we can get gasoline. It comes out of her check next month. She gets her check on the 3rd. she has no concept of money. She has it she spends it all.
She is suppose to be working of a debt at a friends place. She is mad at her because she got caught with her drinking problem and this friend will not mince words on it. So she had an idea I would continue to work and start making payments & pay off this debt. NOPE, not gonna happen. I am not going to do it all & she do nothing.
I have to have my own vehicle soon. I am tired of being late to work & having wait for her to come & get me when she does have the truck. I can not trust her with money. Sheesh going to a buffet at $8 something for lunch? 3 times this month give me a break. I just hate being lied to. I hate to feel like I am a fool for believing she is not drinking. How stupid does she think I am?
How the hell do you even communicate with someone like that? Now I see why she does not want to hear what I have to say. :rolling eyes: She talks non stop another big red flag. I got to go feed the outdoor dogs now.
