The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm having a little trouble with this one today. My A and I are in the middle of a law suit(malpractice). As far as i can tell it is my word against his the doctor. I did not lie on the stand I did my best to tell the story my way. I feel he lied alot. But now it is up to the jury and god. I having trouble letting go. I know there is nothing more i can do. I have to trust them and god. I worried if it does not go are way my A now sober over a year will drink. I know i can't stop him if he does. I know all is out of my hands. thus the question Why am I still worrying about it. Why can I not seem to let go. Any advise I would love. hate to spend the weekend worrying. How do you let go when it means so much to us(my family and I).
thanks for letting me write this out. Some time it helps just to tell someone. I try not to say anything in front ofmy family. Don't want to worry them to.
Just something else I was thinking of. I would drop it all if he would just say sorry. Just sorry I changed your life it was a mistake. I would just like some to recognize I"M HERE I'm Alive. All I get is that didn't happen. I don't remember them. that not my pratice. I feel like I'm nothing to him. After my husbands stroke he became so depressed he started to drink. about two years after he was a full A. I wish I could tell them all how hard it is to live with an A. Our lawyer said don't bring up the drinking they will look down on him. But that 90% how my life changed. I did not bring it up and was not asked about it by either side. But I wanted to yell My life has been hell untill I found alanon. Do you know how hard it is to live with a active A.
Well I'm off kids waking up Thanks for letting me vent.
Tough one!..... What works for me at times like this is just keep repeating LET GO AND LET GOD as a mantra, over and over and over and over again in my head like a broken record and keep busy, busy, busy....... I have a tendency to tell God what to do to makes things better.... as if I knew, duh!...... I remember often an uncle who used to say to us "Don't worry, by worrying you are not going to make the problem go away or solve it, so just live your day and everything else will fall into its rightful place on its own".......... He might have a point, think about it.
I know how you feel--about knowing you can't do anything if your a makes the choice to start drinking again and still worrying about it!!!! I have this same problem. I wish I knew the magical cure to take the worry away. All I can tell you is what I do--sometimes I feel better, sometimes not. First I just keep praying--help me not to worry, help me be able to deal with whatever does happen. (normally over and over), then I try to stay busy--I think if my a would think about it he would know when I have been worrying because my house is cleaner. Posting and reading is always good. Also go back and reread pages from Getting Them Sober.
I am sorry for the knots that I am sure are in your stomach. I hope that the anxiety passes soon. Just remember there are many of us here who care and will listen any time you need to post.
(()) Nikkilou. You have been so strong you should be proud of yourself for being mentally tough enough on that stand you know. Whatever happens you know in your heart that you have not lied and the angels will watch over you. There are invisible footprints in the sand picking you up when the load gets too much. Luv Leo xx
nikkilou! we were expecting a settlement from a malpractice suit. adn my concern was that if we got it he would start up again with the drinking and the drugs. but then again it could ave doen so much for us. the money, the acknowledgement of what was done to me. i would get so wrapped up in thses thoughts. i found it hard to let go and let god. so i did what i heard recommended for the a to do when a desire to drink comes over them. think it all the way thru. so first i would think thru us getting the money and how would our lives possibly change. then if we didn't get the money or the recognition of how would that look. and that made me feel more calm. that i could see that either way i would be ok. it helped me to let go knowing that i would be taken care of no matter what. hope all goes well and you get what you need. love and peace
