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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> lost job and hope...
Post Info TOPIC: lost job and hope...
jecy


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lost job and hope...
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well my addict lost here job today. she couldnt even keep her job after all the breaks they gave her. i went into the store to today and her boss asked i had seen her and i hadnt nor had i heard from her ( which was nice) he said she hadnt showed up nor called and a co-worker went to get her and she said shed be there in 30 min. by the time he spoke to me, it 3.5 hrs later. he asked if i could stop by cause this was it. i did and her roomate let me in and she wouldnt come out of her room. i know she was really messed up, i asked her through the door about her job she said she didnt care and she didnt want to talk to nobody. i said ok and left. i relayed the message to her boss, and called her roomate and told her to let her know i had relayed it and that im out of it now. she called within 10 minutes saying why would you tell him that, how dare you ruin my job and make me lose it. all i could do was laugh, a hysterical losing my mind laugh. she called me a b... and i always screw everything up. i just couldnt believe what she was saying, how totally incompitent and selfish. i finally said you lost your job, youve lost everything by yourself, you put yourself here, and you cant blame anyone but you. really sorry you.. lost your job, and i hope youll be ok. and maybe you need to clear your head, and pull up your boot straps and get on with your life. take stock and move forward, dont stay where your at. youve lost enough, theres not much more to go.


that was about 6 hrs ago. i called when i got home from work and her room mate said she hasnt come out of the room, she wont respond.


now im worried and im afraid what happened and what i said pushed her over the edge. i want to run there and try to help her, but i know i cant. and my heart is breaking, and i know theres nothing i can do and i got to help me. but how do you do that when the person you love is hurting and in trouble? is there an end to this insainity, will it ever stop? i know im supposed to give it up to god and put it in his hands, but i think he forgot about me.



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~jecy ~
just me


~*Service Worker*~

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Jecy,


Her bottom has nothing to do with what you say or do. She can blame away...she is smoking the crack pipe not you.  Take care of you...have you found a f2f meeting yet?  You can attend them meetings in the chatroom.  We can help!  You are not alone and it is not your fault.  You did not cause it.  You cannot control it.  You cannot cure it.  Learn how to cope....here.  Attend 6 meetings....if it doesn't help.  We will refund your misery!


 


Keep coming back!  It works if you work it!


 


Julia 



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Jennifer


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Hello Jecy,


Our As like to blame us for everyting they can, Or blame whatever happens to be handy, the mail, another person. Don't take it personal. I have made the decision to not involve myself in my As business and you know what ... I am still being blamed for his problems even after not being home for 2 weeks LOL. Take care of yourself, keep coming back, find a meeting if possible. All these things help keep us in reality and not dragged back into their insanity. You're in my prayers.


Jennifer



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megan


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Hi Jecy


 


Welcome to miracle in progress and alanon.


The A always blames us I agree. They will use or not use, we did not cause it, we cannot control it and we cannot cure it. We are not that powerful.


God has not foprgotten about you. He has guided you to alanon and there is real help here.


Your life can get better. Here are some resources


World Service Organization Website –



 


WWW.al-anon.alateen.org



 


Phone number is 1-888-425-2666



 


Alanon meetings 800-351-9996



 


Alanon literature Worldwide 888-425-2666



 


Alanon meeting info. 800-433-7266 AA info.



 


Chat room is open 24/7 there here the link to www.mipchat.net or http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html 



 


Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.



 




  • Go face to face meeting & online meeting.

  • post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.


 


·        Set support system.  people do not judge. You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.



 




  • Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you


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Megan If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
leo


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 999
Date:
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Hi Jecy,


Pray to your higher power and ask him/her to look after your A as you can't do it anymore.  Ask also for the strength to get through this and look after your own needs first.  Very hard to let go.  You don't have to stop loving just look after your own well being this time round.  Luv Leo xx  



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maresie


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 706
Date:
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I make a huge effort of not being between the A and anything.  If he is not talking to someone I do not get in the middle. I feel that is one of the cardinal things I did not do.  I grew up in a family where I was "wedged" often.  These days I do not wedge anymore.


I think it is a very hard discipline because I really do want to be involved in the A's life but I do not want the disorder/chaos and more that goes with it.  Indeed I actually have tremendous issues of my own in control, boundaries and more to attend to.


Maresie.



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Maresie
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