Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

babysteps · babysteps

I have asked my AH the following over and over again... A) "Please don't drink and drive." B) "Please don't take my car without asking" C) "Please say goodbye to me when you go somewhere" I ask these things of him because A) drinking & driving is dangerous and ille...

angel123 · angel123

Great slogan for me today,Hope you enjoy love Sharon/angel

boricuaGA · boricuaGA

hello, this is my very first time on this forum. i have so many different emotions inside that its just bundled up into this knot in my stomach. im not sure what even to say, but here goes... recently my fiance admitted to me that he is an A...almost 1 month ago...things have been occuring that have cause...

Leetle · Leetle

I don't know what I expected when I decided that I couldn't live with my A b/f upon his release from jail. I know I didn't think it would be easy, but I guess I was hoping it wouldn't be this hard. He is giving me the silent treatment, which in reality is helping me to keep my boundaries. I guess I am realizi...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

((Friends)) Yesterday was one of the worst days in my life. I was woken up by my AH banging on the door at 4 a.m mad as a hornet because he and his best friend had been fighting. He went to the bathroom and I could hear aluminum foil wrestling around, he was clearly intoxicated. I layed down and he left the...

serendipity · serendipity

It's been a bad week. Started last Sunday with the easter thing and I just couldn't seem to get out of my head. I went to my meetings, came here, talked to people and tried to use my tools. No, I did use my tools. But these feelings I have to work through. I put a purchase offer in on a house and I let it go. The out...

beachbaby · beachbaby

Hi all, I havent posted here in months. When I first joined al anon I had an a in my life, I am an a too. He is no longer in my life and thats a good thing. We recently shared our amends and I hoped we good just go on about our lives and maybe be friends Well, here come the expectations right? I see him all the time...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

It really wasn't as bad as I thought and I was the least addicted to things in the room. I confesed I liked my painkillers probably a bit too much and they said to keep coming back. It was really hard for me to hear stories of crack addicts, alcholics, ect that have had years of abuse and here I am a month into t...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

so I pick up today's newspaper, and I had heard about the tragic shooting yesterday...but it was "only" two people and they were "only" in critical condition. And they WERE at one of the THE best hospitals right? And then the paper says 33 people. Dead. And I'm like, No no no no n...

Babsinbloom · Babsinbloom

Last time I posted I was on my way back to my hometown where my children and grandchildren still live. And I did go and spent eight weeks apart from my AH. The peace I felt at not being around his daily drinking was wonderful and while I was there I got the news that after four granddaughters in a row, this Gra...

angel123 · angel123

Hope you enjoy love sharon/angel After you click view image click on it again makes larger to read -- Edited by angel123 at 16:02, 2007-04-17

gardengal · gardengal

It helped me to realize that no matter what I said, did, plotted and planned to get my husband to stop drinking, I could not. Alanon made it very clear , that this program is NOT about getting the A sober, but help me regain my life, again. It made me see that I was creating my own fear of the unknown by trying t...

Terry · Terry

I am new to this. My boyfriend of 4 years "stopped drinking" 3 years ago. But he still seems to have to drink every 5 or 6 months. The thing is, he turns into what we call "the other guy" and it is tough to take. I asked him two years ago not to drink around me. Last night he started d...

serendipity · serendipity

The day before yesterday was awful inside of me. Nothing really happened. It was all inside of me, I was a mess. Trying so hard not to call my ex. Yesterday was so much better! I heard at an online meeting don't drink, just for today. And i made a decision that just for today (yesterday) i would not make any c...

Gailey · Gailey

We all need to pray for the family members of all that have been killed at Virginia Tech just over an hour ago. It is so sad.

serendipity · serendipity

The house I am moving into already has electronic fencing. Does anyone know offhand how much collars cost? I am so excited to be getting my 2 big,stinky mutts back. I have missed them so very much. Ofcourse my mom has had them with her for the past year and she is feeling a little down that her "grand...

QOD · QOD

I must be CRAZY!!!!! My AH went out to eat w/the kids and me on Friday. We had a nice time. He went back to his stepdad's later in the evening to sleep. Then Saturday he came over around 1:30 or so and spent the rest of the weekend w/us. He slept over Sat and Sun and got up and went to work this morning. He wa...

jofarc1 · jofarc1

O.K. this is just crazy......I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years now and we have had every problem there is as a result of his drinking. The thing is that when we would go out together we would have a lot of fun. Our problems are when he would go drink on his own with his friends (without me). Some thin...

miller7 · miller7

Hi all, I am new to this, so "bear" w/ me. I have a very close friend who is in recovery and on one level we are as close as 2 people can be, closer than our significant others would like, (now our divorced spouses) We have known each other for 10 years and we are each others greatest confidants....

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello Friends))) Just wanted to say thank you to each of you who so compassionately responded. Its been sometime for me to get back online. I am taking care of myself and my kids, and trying to remain calm. My AH slept most of the day Saturday. The kids and I stayed at my brother's that night. I did...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

How many times have **YOU** been the lamp on the couch? The solution SO obvious--yet the action not taken?

maresie2 · maresie2

It seems to me there is a pattern with the A's agitation and chaos. He sets up a crisis, acts out then acts normal. Right now he is in this huge agitation with having to move (in chaos) and drama. I don't really see how he will make it where he is going. He has few contacts. He has no support system and he has...

nmike · nmike

I went to an open AA meeting tonight. We listened to a speaker tape. After the speaker we spoke informally. We said that if only that shooter at the college had heard of a 12 step program or recovery or went to meetings maybe he could have dissipated some of his anger and frustration. We felt that the 12 s...

snapdragon · snapdragon

I'm new here. I've been married for five years now - together for about seven. When we first started dating, we pretty much binge drank together - I didn't drink before I started dating him but as soon as I started dating him I started (again). During my youth, I had binge drank but gave that up when I wa...

Maria123 · Maria123

I love it, not really at times, when I think (think being the operative word) that I have my life in order. They say that when you think God doesn't have a sense of humor, tell him your plan.

I thought I didn't need to read One Day At A Time in Alanon anymore as I don't live with an active A and lo and...

Lani · Lani

Overwhelmed? "Life does not happen to us, it happens from us." -- Mike Wickett Are you easily overwhelmed? If so, answer this question in your journal: While growing up, what did you experience too much of? Experiencing too much of something leads to feelings of overwhelm. When were you...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family))))), Okay here I am snowed in because of the noreaster and hubby and I got to talking. We are both very stubborn and tenacious people. I like to blame it on me being a Taurus! But it got me thinking about recovery. When an A is ative they will go to any means to get their fix. They are relen...

serendipity · serendipity

I went for it! I bought the house! I have taken all the steps so far including calling my landlady and apoplgizing for the message I left yesterday if I sounded snotty. That was the hardest. She agreed to let me stay till June 1st which is awsome. The plan is to be closed by end of May. Wow things move fast w...

wp · wp

Hi Debs, I got a response from my friend today and will be looking for you tonight. You might want to consider receiving her email from me. mswp aka pw

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Thank you for clarifying that non-alcoholics attend AA meetings. Do alcoholics attend Alanon meetings also? Sorry if I sound dumb, but as I have said, this is all new to me. Just trying to get an understanding of who goes where.

marie096 · marie096

I am new to this forum. My husband is a recovering addict and alcoholic. He has just returned from rehab. It is driving me crazy because he wants the car to go and apply for a job. It seems like he hasn't taken the time to "look around" at home it's all I got, I got.

kissers · kissers

I posted a message not long ago about someone I had talked to for a year and wound up becoming physically intimate. He told me he loved me then after I would not let up until I got the truth he told me he didn't know what love is. He lied to me. I should have known he was an A. The truth came out shortly after that...

sissy · sissy

I am having trouble with enabling behavior and taking care of myself. Beside the AH in my life. I have dad that needs 24/7 care and grandmother. It is so hard to have time for myself. Marsha

sash · sash

My husband has been sober now for about three weeks. I know this is very early, but he is doing really well. This week he started his out-patient rehab and he attends AA meetings every night. Yesterday was a hectic day (as most of my days are). I worked all day, he didn't have rehab yesterday so he was h...

gardengal · gardengal

This a question which comes very hard to us in Alanon. Most of us are too busy worrying about the A taking on "his/her" responsibilities or doing the thinking for them or trying to think for them. We put ourselves on the backburner as we continually obsess about another. Getting up in the mo...

Gailey · Gailey

I have watched the first of a four part series on addiction. It was an HBO documentary....but I don't have HBO. I am getting 1 dvd at a time through Netflix. Anyway, I found the first one very interesting and informative. It goes into the fact that A'ism is a brain disease. It also talks alot about 12 step r...

Maria123 · Maria123

So often people are confused about what detachment means and today I read from Hope for Today a few simple words about detachment that will help me. "Detach from my problem and attach, instead, to my Higher Power." That's simple. I can do that.

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Over the weekend it was suggested to me that I attend an actual AA meeting. Although I am extremely leary to do so, I'm going to attend one tonight. I'm a very curious woman and these meetings have left me very curious. Especially since when my relationship with my A was active, he would always say tha...

Diva · Diva

We are going to visit friends in Utah and will be gone 9 days. Leaving tomorrow early morning. I will keep all of you close in my thoughts and prayers as always. Do something good for yourselves. With love to all, Diva

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) I will be gone for a week. I am going on holiday tomorrow, and will not be here or in the chatroom.. Just incase you think I have done a runner...lol Looking forward to my holiday, a new adventure for me!!! Flying to France, have never been up in the air before..(w...

pls · pls

Ok. So I am new here, for about 2 months now. I am so very hard trying to work my program, but this weekend, I feel like everything keeps setting me back. A little history first. I live next door to my A, we have been separated for 8 months now. He feels he "is old enough to decide if he wants to drink...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Dating an alcoholic is more like having a dependent than a partner. This is soooo true!!!

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

I was crying like crazy last night, because I guess I was letting My A get the best of me. He has women friends that come visit him. My dad says as a man, from what I told him, Charlie is getting his whipped somewhere else. Even when the time came (after 6 weeks of waiting), we still haven't had sex. I ha...

maresie2 · maresie2

2 years ago when I first came on board here the A pulled a huge crisis number. he is good at that. He makes a huge crisis then he leaves me with the mess and I am so disorientated by that and desperate I don't get to look at what is going on. This latest crisis with setting up the eviction (after all what else i...

java · java

Al-anon does not offer advice or tell another person what to do. We just offer our experience, strengh and hope (e,s & h). However in the event that someone is living in a potentally violent situaltion where physical and mental abuse is going on, it is appropriate for al-anon's to say get out and ge...

angel123 · angel123

hope you enjoy (((group hugs)))

shadow1 · shadow1

(((((((((((((roomies)))))))))))))) I just got word that one of our mip members is very ill. She has been in the hospital for a few days. I don't want to give details or names but if you could please pray for her HP will know who it is. Thanks Yours in Recovery Shad -- Edited by shadow1 at 21:26, 2007-04-1...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear ((((Family)))), At times, I confuse being recovered with being made of TEFLON--things should just slide off me or STEEL--hurtful things shouldn't hurt me. LOL. I recently realized that I was so focused on proving to myself and other people that I was RECOVERED--that it equated to--SEE I AM TO...

Fifi · Fifi

I haven't been onsite here in some time......past month has been all about me and my cancer diagnosis. Last week i had a masectomy....all pathology looks good and there will be no need for chemo or radiation. Getting back to life with a little less stress of all that change/fear/choice is the tiring st...

albertarose · albertarose

Yesterday my husband and I found out that he has cancer. We are both in shock right now, but dealing with things the best way we know how right now. I am seeking my HP for his guidence and that whatever treatment my husband decides to go with will be the right decision. I am grateful that he has been sober for...

angel123 · angel123

Thank You, Everyone for your love and prayers. I believe in the power of prayer with all my heart. I felt all of you touch me with your hearts. Amazing group of friends. Love Sharon/angel((((group hugs))))

cac · cac

Hello - Today I took my A husband to rehab. Glenbeigh. I think I might be in shock. I can't believe he finally took this step. I can't talk to him for 48 hours. I don't know how long he is going to be in there. They said they customize each program for each person. I wish I would have gotten a ball park. ...

lonelymom · lonelymom

This may sound kind of nasty, but I am SICK SICK SICK of hearing that alcoholism is a disease as if that is some kind of excuse for this stupid, pigheaded, selfish behavior. He may not be able to help wanting to drink, but he is capable of not picking up a dang beer! He is capable of not acting like a moron when...

Leetle · Leetle

My A b/f, just released from jail picked up our daughter from school. The school called to ask me if it was okay after they left. I asked if he had a car seat, sort of on automatic pilot and she said hold on and ran outside. They were already gone. I asked what kind of car they were in and she said she wasn'...

QOD · QOD

My AH and I have been separated for 3 months. It has been a little over a month since he was arrested for possession. It has been a month full of ups and downs. He has been mad, sad and glad over that time. I have an easier time coping when he is mad at me and doesn't want to talk to me or see me. I can go on with l...

Leetle · Leetle

He is out of jail. He called me at work. He hadn't been to my house, where he will find the locks changed, his things in the garage, a note from me listing my boundaries and a change of address form from the post office. If he listened to me or cared about what I was trying to say the last two weeks, he would k...

QOD · QOD

I am having a hard time of it today. My AH continues to push for reconciliation. Everything I say to him bounces right off of him. He refuses to accept an end to our relationship. He loves me, he'll wait for ever for me, give him another chance to make me happy, let him prove he can be the man he once was. ...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

ON A SHOPPING TRIP with my daughter, a Navy flight surgeon, I noticed that one item on her list was Snoopy bandages. She said they were for some of her patients who were unnecessarily upset by their minor scratches and routine shots. Beaming with maternal pride, I told her how thoughtful she was to make...

serendipity · serendipity

Lately I feel like I have been wallowing in my insanity. At the same time I feel like I couldn't get out of it no matter what I did. I have choices but I have been making the wrong ones for the most part. Tonight, in my f2f it occured to me that the tools are right here at my fingertips and I just keep ignoring th...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Here it is Friday afternoon and its another tough day. Friday nights we went to dinner and a movie, this was our routine for months and months. My weekends were always spent with my ex A b/f living our lives doing fun things and keeping busy. Now I sit here thinking, ok, what am I going to do this weekend....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Turned negative controlling behavior into positive boundary setting (Preview) I have asked my AH the following over and over again... A) "Please don't drink and drive." B) "Please don't take my car without asking" C) "Please say goodbye to me when you go somewhere" I ask these things of him because A) drinking & driving is dangerous and ille...	babysteps	2	1065	Apr 17, 2007 by Leetle
	This to Shall Pass (Preview) Great slogan for me today,Hope you enjoy love Sharon/angel	angel123	3	4832	Apr 17, 2007 by carolena
	I feel so lost and dont know what to do (Preview) hello, this is my very first time on this forum. i have so many different emotions inside that its just bundled up into this knot in my stomach. im not sure what even to say, but here goes... recently my fiance admitted to me that he is an A...almost 1 month ago...things have been occuring that have cause...	boricuaGA	5	497	Apr 17, 2007 by maresie2
	Feeling Numb (Preview) I don't know what I expected when I decided that I couldn't live with my A b/f upon his release from jail. I know I didn't think it would be easy, but I guess I was hoping it wouldn't be this hard. He is giving me the silent treatment, which in reality is helping me to keep my boundaries. I guess I am realizi...	Leetle	3	383	Apr 17, 2007 by carolena
	AH crashed my car in a drunken stupor (Preview) ((Friends)) Yesterday was one of the worst days in my life. I was woken up by my AH banging on the door at 4 a.m mad as a hornet because he and his best friend had been fighting. He went to the bathroom and I could hear aluminum foil wrestling around, he was clearly intoxicated. I layed down and he left the...	twinmom2	18	528	Apr 17, 2007 by carolena
	freakin out (Preview) It's been a bad week. Started last Sunday with the easter thing and I just couldn't seem to get out of my head. I went to my meetings, came here, talked to people and tried to use my tools. No, I did use my tools. But these feelings I have to work through. I put a purchase offer in on a house and I let it go. The out...	serendipity	5	456	Apr 17, 2007 by carolena
	Unrealistic to expect friendship? (Preview) Hi all, I havent posted here in months. When I first joined al anon I had an a in my life, I am an a too. He is no longer in my life and thats a good thing. We recently shared our amends and I hoped we good just go on about our lives and maybe be friends Well, here come the expectations right? I see him all the time...	beachbaby	6	482	Apr 17, 2007 by beachbaby
	I went to an addiction meeting! (Preview) It really wasn't as bad as I thought and I was the least addicted to things in the room. I confesed I liked my painkillers probably a bit too much and they said to keep coming back. It was really hard for me to hear stories of crack addicts, alcholics, ect that have had years of abuse and here I am a month into t...	Friendofyours	4	493	Apr 17, 2007 by carolena
	What DO you say? (Preview) so I pick up today's newspaper, and I had heard about the tragic shooting yesterday...but it was "only" two people and they were "only" in critical condition. And they WERE at one of the THE best hospitals right? And then the paper says 33 people. Dead. And I'm like, No no no no n...	Tiger2006	2	490	Apr 17, 2007 by Karilynn
	An update from Wilted who is now Babsinbloom... (Preview) Last time I posted I was on my way back to my hometown where my children and grandchildren still live. And I did go and spent eight weeks apart from my AH. The peace I felt at not being around his daily drinking was wonderful and while I was there I got the news that after four granddaughters in a row, this Gra...	Babsinbloom	3	259	Apr 17, 2007 by carolena
	Forum (Preview) Hope you enjoy love sharon/angel After you click view image click on it again makes larger to read -- Edited by angel123 at 16:02, 2007-04-17	angel123	0	228	Apr 17, 2007 by angel123
	How did Alanon redefine your life? (Preview) It helped me to realize that no matter what I said, did, plotted and planned to get my husband to stop drinking, I could not. Alanon made it very clear , that this program is NOT about getting the A sober, but help me regain my life, again. It made me see that I was creating my own fear of the unknown by trying t...	gardengal	4	568	Apr 17, 2007 by Kim65
	Dealing with an intermittent drinker (Preview) I am new to this. My boyfriend of 4 years "stopped drinking" 3 years ago. But he still seems to have to drink every 5 or 6 months. The thing is, he turns into what we call "the other guy" and it is tough to take. I asked him two years ago not to drink around me. Last night he started d...	Terry	6	1032	Apr 17, 2007 by Terry
	just for today (Preview) The day before yesterday was awful inside of me. Nothing really happened. It was all inside of me, I was a mess. Trying so hard not to call my ex. Yesterday was so much better! I heard at an online meeting don't drink, just for today. And i made a decision that just for today (yesterday) i would not make any c...	serendipity	5	438	Apr 17, 2007 by marie096
	something horrible just happened (Preview) We all need to pray for the family members of all that have been killed at Virginia Tech just over an hour ago. It is so sad.	Gailey	12	536	Apr 17, 2007 by Diva
	another quick ? for my animal lover friends (Preview) The house I am moving into already has electronic fencing. Does anyone know offhand how much collars cost? I am so excited to be getting my 2 big,stinky mutts back. I have missed them so very much. Ofcourse my mom has had them with her for the past year and she is feeling a little down that her "grand...	serendipity	2	234	Apr 17, 2007 by Diva
	We had a WONDERFUL weekend!! (Preview) I must be CRAZY!!!!! My AH went out to eat w/the kids and me on Friday. We had a nice time. He went back to his stepdad's later in the evening to sleep. Then Saturday he came over around 1:30 or so and spent the rest of the weekend w/us. He slept over Sat and Sun and got up and went to work this morning. He wa...	QOD	7	479	Apr 17, 2007 by QOD
	He stopped drinking now I'm "wishing" I was out on a Sat. night (Preview) O.K. this is just crazy......I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years now and we have had every problem there is as a result of his drinking. The thing is that when we would go out together we would have a lot of fun. Our problems are when he would go drink on his own with his friends (without me). Some thin...	jofarc1	5	439	Apr 17, 2007 by jofarc1
	in and out of contact (Preview) Hi all, I am new to this, so "bear" w/ me. I have a very close friend who is in recovery and on one level we are as close as 2 people can be, closer than our significant others would like, (now our divorced spouses) We have known each other for 10 years and we are each others greatest confidants....	miller7	6	425	Apr 17, 2007 by newday
	The drama continues.... (Preview) (((Hello Friends))) Just wanted to say thank you to each of you who so compassionately responded. Its been sometime for me to get back online. I am taking care of myself and my kids, and trying to remain calm. My AH slept most of the day Saturday. The kids and I stayed at my brother's that night. I did...	twinmom2	11	476	Apr 17, 2007 by sweetums
	Something to think about, courtesy of the comic pages (Preview) How many times have YOU been the lamp on the couch? The solution SO obvious--yet the action not taken?	Tiger2006	3	285	Apr 17, 2007 by annmarie
	waiting .... but with sanity rather than immersed in fear (Preview) It seems to me there is a pattern with the A's agitation and chaos. He sets up a crisis, acts out then acts normal. Right now he is in this huge agitation with having to move (in chaos) and drama. I don't really see how he will make it where he is going. He has few contacts. He has no support system and he has...	maresie2	2	431	Apr 17, 2007 by Barbs45
	If only... (Preview) I went to an open AA meeting tonight. We listened to a speaker tape. After the speaker we spoke informally. We said that if only that shooter at the college had heard of a 12 step program or recovery or went to meetings maybe he could have dissipated some of his anger and frustration. We felt that the 12 s...	nmike	1	263	Apr 17, 2007 by CJ
	First Post and I've had all I can take...I think. (Preview) I'm new here. I've been married for five years now - together for about seven. When we first started dating, we pretty much binge drank together - I didn't drink before I started dating him but as soon as I started dating him I started (again). During my youth, I had binge drank but gave that up when I wa...	snapdragon	5	774	Apr 16, 2007 by maresie2
	Letting Go (Preview) I love it, not really at times, when I think (think being the operative word) that I have my life in order. They say that when you think God doesn't have a sense of humor, tell him your plan. I thought I didn't need to read One Day At A Time in Alanon anymore as I don't live with an active A and lo and...	Maria123	1	388	Apr 16, 2007 by Leetle
	OVERWHELMED? quotes (Preview) Overwhelmed? "Life does not happen to us, it happens from us." -- Mike Wickett Are you easily overwhelmed? If so, answer this question in your journal: While growing up, what did you experience too much of? Experiencing too much of something leads to feelings of overwhelm. When were you...	Lani	1	6647	Apr 16, 2007 by Sunny2007
	Stubborness: a good thing (Preview) (((((((Family))))), Okay here I am snowed in because of the noreaster and hubby and I got to talking. We are both very stubborn and tenacious people. I like to blame it on me being a Taurus! But it got me thinking about recovery. When an A is ative they will go to any means to get their fix. They are relen...	Karilynn	3	345	Apr 16, 2007 by serenity62
	O.K. I did it!!!! (Preview) I went for it! I bought the house! I have taken all the steps so far including calling my landlady and apoplgizing for the message I left yesterday if I sounded snotty. That was the hardest. She agreed to let me stay till June 1st which is awsome. The plan is to be closed by end of May. Wow things move fast w...	serendipity	9	336	Apr 16, 2007 by wp
	message for Debs (Preview) Hi Debs, I got a response from my friend today and will be looking for you tonight. You might want to consider receiving her email from me. mswp aka pw	wp	0	312	Apr 16, 2007 by wp
	Clarification needed (Preview) Thank you for clarifying that non-alcoholics attend AA meetings. Do alcoholics attend Alanon meetings also? Sorry if I sound dumb, but as I have said, this is all new to me. Just trying to get an understanding of who goes where.	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	3	339	Apr 16, 2007 by rtexas
	Need Help (Preview) I am new to this forum. My husband is a recovering addict and alcoholic. He has just returned from rehab. It is driving me crazy because he wants the car to go and apply for a job. It seems like he hasn't taken the time to "look around" at home it's all I got, I got.	marie096	5	388	Apr 16, 2007 by marie096
	I Should Have Known!!! (Preview) I posted a message not long ago about someone I had talked to for a year and wound up becoming physically intimate. He told me he loved me then after I would not let up until I got the truth he told me he didn't know what love is. He lied to me. I should have known he was an A. The truth came out shortly after that...	kissers	7	450	Apr 16, 2007 by hudsond
	Taking care of myself. (Preview) I am having trouble with enabling behavior and taking care of myself. Beside the AH in my life. I have dad that needs 24/7 care and grandmother. It is so hard to have time for myself. Marsha	sissy	5	459	Apr 16, 2007 by sissy
	Am I wrong (Preview) My husband has been sober now for about three weeks. I know this is very early, but he is doing really well. This week he started his out-patient rehab and he attends AA meetings every night. Yesterday was a hectic day (as most of my days are). I worked all day, he didn't have rehab yesterday so he was h...	sash	26	1411	Apr 16, 2007 by marie096
	"Tough question"-- How do you feel about yourself today? (Preview) This a question which comes very hard to us in Alanon. Most of us are too busy worrying about the A taking on "his/her" responsibilities or doing the thinking for them or trying to think for them. We put ourselves on the backburner as we continually obsess about another. Getting up in the mo...	gardengal	8	1294	Apr 16, 2007 by barisax
	ADDICTION: why can't they just stop? (Preview) I have watched the first of a four part series on addiction. It was an HBO documentary....but I don't have HBO. I am getting 1 dvd at a time through Netflix. Anyway, I found the first one very interesting and informative. It goes into the fact that A'ism is a brain disease. It also talks alot about 12 step r...	Gailey	2	413	Apr 16, 2007 by hudsond
	simple words about detachment (Preview) So often people are confused about what detachment means and today I read from Hope for Today a few simple words about detachment that will help me. "Detach from my problem and attach, instead, to my Higher Power." That's simple. I can do that.	Maria123	4	321	Apr 16, 2007 by weggie
	Dreading tonight (Preview) Over the weekend it was suggested to me that I attend an actual AA meeting. Although I am extremely leary to do so, I'm going to attend one tonight. I'm a very curious woman and these meetings have left me very curious. Especially since when my relationship with my A was active, he would always say tha...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	2	547	Apr 16, 2007 by babysteps
	You'll all have a short break from dealing with Diva... (Preview) We are going to visit friends in Utah and will be gone 9 days. Leaving tomorrow early morning. I will keep all of you close in my thoughts and prayers as always. Do something good for yourselves. With love to all, Diva	Diva	11	517	Apr 16, 2007 by maire rua
	ALLY WILL BE AWAY FOR A WEEK (Preview) (((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) I will be gone for a week. I am going on holiday tomorrow, and will not be here or in the chatroom.. Just incase you think I have done a runner...lol Looking forward to my holiday, a new adventure for me!!! Flying to France, have never been up in the air before..(w...	ally	11	329	Apr 15, 2007 by wp
	My first time to vent. HELP (Preview) Ok. So I am new here, for about 2 months now. I am so very hard trying to work my program, but this weekend, I feel like everything keeps setting me back. A little history first. I live next door to my A, we have been separated for 8 months now. He feels he "is old enough to decide if he wants to drink...	pls	6	504	Apr 15, 2007 by wp
	Something I heard last night that sums it up (Preview) Dating an alcoholic is more like having a dependent than a partner. This is soooo true!!!	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	4	337	Apr 15, 2007 by lilms
	need help, heart is breaking (Preview) I was crying like crazy last night, because I guess I was letting My A get the best of me. He has women friends that come visit him. My dad says as a man, from what I told him, Charlie is getting his whipped somewhere else. Even when the time came (after 6 weeks of waiting), we still haven't had sex. I ha...	hippietrippiechick	9	845	Apr 15, 2007 by hippietrippiechick
	believing the lies (Preview) 2 years ago when I first came on board here the A pulled a huge crisis number. he is good at that. He makes a huge crisis then he leaves me with the mess and I am so disorientated by that and desperate I don't get to look at what is going on. This latest crisis with setting up the eviction (after all what else i...	maresie2	2	392	Apr 15, 2007 by TLC2
	I can breath again, thanks to al-anon (Preview) Al-anon does not offer advice or tell another person what to do. We just offer our experience, strengh and hope (e,s & h). However in the event that someone is living in a potentally violent situaltion where physical and mental abuse is going on, it is appropriate for al-anon's to say get out and ge...	java	5	518	Apr 15, 2007 by Maria123
	BILL of RIGHTS (Preview) hope you enjoy (((group hugs)))	angel123	1	1739	Apr 15, 2007 by Maria123
	URGENT PRAYERS NEEDED PLEASE!!!! (Preview) (((((((((((((roomies)))))))))))))) I just got word that one of our mip members is very ill. She has been in the hospital for a few days. I don't want to give details or names but if you could please pray for her HP will know who it is. Thanks Yours in Recovery Shad -- Edited by shadow1 at 21:26, 2007-04-1...	shadow1	24	956	Apr 15, 2007 by gardengal
	I AM NOT MADE OF TEFLON (Preview) Dear ((((Family)))), At times, I confuse being recovered with being made of TEFLON--things should just slide off me or STEEL--hurtful things shouldn't hurt me. LOL. I recently realized that I was so focused on proving to myself and other people that I was RECOVERED--that it equated to--SEE I AM TO...	BlueCloud	3	535	Apr 15, 2007 by abbyal
	checking in (Preview) I haven't been onsite here in some time......past month has been all about me and my cancer diagnosis. Last week i had a masectomy....all pathology looks good and there will be no need for chemo or radiation. Getting back to life with a little less stress of all that change/fear/choice is the tiring st...	Fifi	3	238	Apr 14, 2007 by debilyn
	Prayers needed for my AH (Preview) Yesterday my husband and I found out that he has cancer. We are both in shock right now, but dealing with things the best way we know how right now. I am seeking my HP for his guidence and that whatever treatment my husband decides to go with will be the right decision. I am grateful that he has been sober for...	albertarose	17	397	Apr 14, 2007 by wp
	HEARTS (Preview) Thank You, Everyone for your love and prayers. I believe in the power of prayer with all my heart. I felt all of you touch me with your hearts. Amazing group of friends. Love Sharon/angel((((group hugs))))	angel123	4	300	Apr 14, 2007 by aunitedway
	In rehab (Preview) Hello - Today I took my A husband to rehab. Glenbeigh. I think I might be in shock. I can't believe he finally took this step. I can't talk to him for 48 hours. I don't know how long he is going to be in there. They said they customize each program for each person. I wish I would have gotten a ball park. ...	cac	6	832	Apr 14, 2007 by Busbe
	my 2nd ever post- I am very angry (Preview) This may sound kind of nasty, but I am SICK SICK SICK of hearing that alcoholism is a disease as if that is some kind of excuse for this stupid, pigheaded, selfish behavior. He may not be able to help wanting to drink, but he is capable of not picking up a dang beer! He is capable of not acting like a moron when...	lonelymom	15	798	Apr 14, 2007 by maresie2
	Crazy Update (Preview) My A b/f, just released from jail picked up our daughter from school. The school called to ask me if it was okay after they left. I asked if he had a car seat, sort of on automatic pilot and she said hold on and ran outside. They were already gone. I asked what kind of car they were in and she said she wasn'...	Leetle	4	422	Apr 14, 2007 by maresie2
	I gave in last night. (Preview) My AH and I have been separated for 3 months. It has been a little over a month since he was arrested for possession. It has been a month full of ups and downs. He has been mad, sad and glad over that time. I have an easier time coping when he is mad at me and doesn't want to talk to me or see me. I can go on with l...	QOD	5	382	Apr 14, 2007 by maresie2
	He's out... (Preview) He is out of jail. He called me at work. He hadn't been to my house, where he will find the locks changed, his things in the garage, a note from me listing my boundaries and a change of address form from the post office. If he listened to me or cared about what I was trying to say the last two weeks, he would k...	Leetle	5	444	Apr 14, 2007 by maresie2
	I am Shattered. AH doesn't get it! (Preview) I am having a hard time of it today. My AH continues to push for reconciliation. Everything I say to him bounces right off of him. He refuses to accept an end to our relationship. He loves me, he'll wait for ever for me, give him another chance to make me happy, let him prove he can be the man he once was. ...	QOD	8	522	Apr 14, 2007 by maresie2
	some prospective for your day.... (Preview) ON A SHOPPING TRIP with my daughter, a Navy flight surgeon, I noticed that one item on her list was Snoopy bandages. She said they were for some of her patients who were unnecessarily upset by their minor scratches and routine shots. Beaming with maternal pride, I told her how thoughtful she was to make...	Tiger2006	2	269	Apr 14, 2007 by Sunny2007
	How badly do I want to be healthy (Preview) Lately I feel like I have been wallowing in my insanity. At the same time I feel like I couldn't get out of it no matter what I did. I have choices but I have been making the wrong ones for the most part. Tonight, in my f2f it occured to me that the tools are right here at my fingertips and I just keep ignoring th...	serendipity	3	485	Apr 14, 2007 by BlueCloud
	Weekends without him are the worst!! (Preview) Here it is Friday afternoon and its another tough day. Friday nights we went to dinner and a movie, this was our routine for months and months. My weekends were always spent with my ex A b/f living our lives doing fun things and keeping busy. Now I sit here thinking, ok, what am I going to do this weekend....	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	9	381	Apr 14, 2007 by lin0606
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.