The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Over the weekend it was suggested to me that I attend an actual AA meeting. Although I am extremely leary to do so, I'm going to attend one tonight. I'm a very curious woman and these meetings have left me very curious. Especially since when my relationship with my A was active, he would always say that AA and Alanon isnt a place for me. He said, "these are not your type of people". Well what kind of people are they? Deep down, they have to be good people, just people with an addiction.
I'm not really sure what to expect. All I know is that hopefully this will give me better understanding of the program as a whole. Hopefully I don't walk into a closed mtg or a men only mtg, thats another one of my fears! I'm going to attend a meeting out of my town because I dont want to be recognized by anyone. Isnt that ridiculous? I would just feel weird if I ended up sitting next to someone I know.
If on the meeting schedule it says "O" does that mean it is open to anyone? Even people that arent alcoholics?
Since I am having a lot of anxiety over the whole thing, one of my close female friends said that she would accompany me to the meeting. Thank goodness! Usually I am very independent, but for some reason I am scared to death to go alone but my curiousity has gotten the best of me. This is an entirely new experience for me. I have never been in a relationship with an alcoholic or a drug user before this past relationship that I am trying so hard to let go of. I not only have to detach myself from his drinking and drugging, I need to detach myself from him.
If its too much for me, I dont know if I can just get up and leave or if I have to wait for the meeting to conclude. Has anyone been to an AA mtg? Can I get up and leave if its too much for me? I dont want to get up and walk out and have the whole room staring at me.
Hopefully if I can stick out the whole meeting, it will help me to better understand the situation at hand. From what I have picked up on from talks with people, its similiar to an Alanon mtg except its like a bunch of people that share the same "Secret".
What if they call on me? Will they do that? I can not lie and pretend that I am an alcoholic, although my girlfriend joked and said that we should have a glass of wine before we go to the meeting. I said nooooo way, if I smell like wine, they'll think I am one of them!
From what I've been told, often these meetings are like a "meat market" meaning that the "regulars" see a new person attending the mtg and try to "hook up" with them. Yikes, the last thing I want is for another alcoholic to cling to me!! Been there done that, NOT DOING THAT AGAIN!
If anyone out there has attended an AA meeting, please share what else I should expect.
-- Edited by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ at 08:48, 2007-04-16
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Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean that they don't love you the best way they know how
I've been to quite a few open AA meetings. I am not an alcoholic. I enjoyed going and listening and learning. I used to regularly attend an open AA speakers meeting which helped tons with my compassion for A's in general. If you were called on to speak you can say "I'm just going to listen" or " I'm a grateful member of alanon and here to listen". Or if you have something to share you can. But if you're not an A you might want to identify yourself before you speak as an alanon. I think it's a great idea and as far as it being a "meat market" well, there are those who might make convo with you after the meeting but I always just treat them like I did the guys at the bar who didn't stand a chance...politely but firmly walk away. I don't want another A either. At least not one who is sick enough to try to hit on a newcommer (A or alanon). Good luck and lets us know what you think....
Calm Down!!! You have yourself stressing out over a mountain that is merely a bump.
I go to open AA meetings all the time because the only Al Anon meeting is at night when I need to be home for my daughter. They are wonderful places of healing, just like al anon meetings. As a matter of fact, they are run in the same way. The people are kind, understanding, and looking for the same thing you are, recovery. They are not judgemental, mean, crude, or threatening. If you are asked to share and you do not want to, simply say, "thank you but I am just observing," or "thank you but I pass." No one will nag you to share. I think you will be very pleasantly surprised by how eloquent a recovering A can share their experiences. Don't forget, AA is as serious about anonymity as al anon. I think it's great that you are going, I think we all should experience an open AA meeting at least once.
PS. You should be able to find out if the meeting is open or not prior to going. If you don't have the Where and When, just google something like "AA meetings New Jersey" and you will be able to find a directory by town that indicates the type of meeting.
