The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Even a relationship between a longtime sober, working-his-program A, and an alanon with a program, is not going to look all that much like what we imagine a "normal" marriage partnership to be. If the A is active, newly sober, or just white-knuckling it, anything like a normal, give-and-take partnership exchange is pretty much out of the question.
Anyone in a relationship with an A who is holding tight a long list of "shoulds" and "how things ought to be's" is looking for a very bumpy ride on the roller coaster. With this disease there is no "should", only "is". You can change your attitude or change your address - you can't change the A.
My eyes will certainly be open much wider in future relationships!! Can't deal with all this again. No way, no how!! The one good thing that has come from this is now I am a much stronger woman!! So I guess I can thank my A ex b/f for that!!
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Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean that they don't love you the best way they know how
