The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thank you for clarifying that non-alcoholics attend AA meetings. Do alcoholics attend Alanon meetings also? Sorry if I sound dumb, but as I have said, this is all new to me. Just trying to get an understanding of who goes where.
__________________
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean that they don't love you the best way they know how
yes they do. I really apperciate the perspective of an AA whos in alanon. They can offer alot as far as the hows and whys of the alcoholic mind. I think most A's can really use the alanon program....afterall they have to deal with other A's just like we do...
Thank you for clarifying that. I agree, an A can provide a lot of insight into things that are mind boggling to me. I almost wish there was an alcoholic I could speak with that could shed some light on what goes on in an alcoholics head and what reason there could be to let go of a perfectly healthy (aside from his addiction) relationship. His addiction never really actively interfered with our relationship until he completed his steps. You would think it would have, but we didnt live together and when he drank I didnt know about it until several days after the fact.That was his "secret" so to say. After he started with AA, thats when his addiction affected our relationship.
The whole thing still makes no logical sense to me.
__________________
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean that they don't love you the best way they know how
I have heard people say that AA is strictly to deal with the compulsion to drink (or use) and Al-anon is more about the mental/emotional fallout of that. There are A's in every meeting I have attended.
I couldn't agree more, they lend so much to the conversation.
My own experience with "... everything was fine until he got help and worked the steps" is:
When everyone in my home was in denial (me included), drama still happened, but it looked different, and my AW didn't get frantic, or upset, or mean.... because none of it was her fault. She pointed fingers at us and everything else around her as the cause, and she got some comfort in the fact that nothing was her fault.
When I hit my bottom, got some help and started seeing through my denial, she got angry (even violent). Nobody was playing the game with her anymore. That became the new reason her life sucked. It's a real twist when everyone you know and trust all of a sudden will not accept your version of reality.
I am glad you are here, keep learning all you can about this disease and keep working the program for you! The most loving thing you can do for the A's in your life are to get yourself healthy!
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
