Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is definitely time to share some of the things that have been going on in my world--the one that revolves around me. Yes, I am full of it today. But, honestly, do I really need to say honestly? If I can't be honest on here when can I really be? So, now that that is said, I can get to the stuff that I am going thr...

Lyne · Lyne

The writer discusses how difficult it can be to find compassion for oneself and others, and especially for "certain people." We have to look past anger and rage for kindness. We need to let go of resentment from unrealistic expectations. We should ask ourselves, How Important is It? Compassion m...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the importance of being nicer to ourselves. The author has learned to ignore the voices in their head that tell them that they are not good enough. These voices are a symptom of damaged self-esteem that results from living with the effects of alco...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Alanon meeting opening reminds us of our purpose: to share our experience (of using program principles), strength (from the program, ) and hope (our improved outlook for our future) that helps us remain focused and is encouraging for others. Reminder: Do I consider these elements in what I share,...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on some of the protocols of alanon meetings, specifically as they relate to the concepts and traditions of the program. The writer describes being taken aback by how peaceful and quiet the meetings seemed. As someone who had lived in an alcoholic home...

Fedora · Fedora

Recently I had to be in the presence of my exH for an extended period of time as part of a legal proceeding. This was the first time I've been that close to him, for that long, in 2 years. I know he has been under strict court ordered alcohol monitoring for almost a year and thus is as dry as he has been in almos...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares that many Al-Anon members lost touch with their feelings as a result of living in the contradictory and explosive world of alcoholism. Many Al-Anon members lose touch with themselves as well. Recovery does not mean becoming a different person; for...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

A head full of injuries and a heart full of despair often accompany the new member to an Alanon meeting, and are sometimes what fuel the content of first shares. Good it is that a new member finds the group that hears these first pain-focused expressions graciously, as it allows the newcomer to proce...

Lyne · Lyne

Some people judge their self-worth by their accomplishments and on what others say. In this manner, a sense of satisfaction is fleeting. But another part of self-worth can be by their ability to love others--saying a kind word, writing a considerate note, or just by appreciating someone else. W...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a look at grieving and how it relates to recovery. The writer describes losing his father to alcoholism and instead of feeling grief, felt a mixture of relief, pity, a vague type of sadness and a lot of anger. In his view, his father had not died because of a resp...

DM2021 · DM2021

This days reading refers to the previous two Friday readings that speaks to the reader about recovery fromconsistently avoiding painful feelings and situations just to play it safe and that we run the risk of not livingour lives fully. Step four should help us to realize those parts of our personal...

DM2021 · DM2021

Todays reading reminds us that in Al-Anon, with the teachings of the Steps, Traditions, Slogans, courage, faith and our need for each other,each issue we encounter, even the painful ones, will in our journey pass as time goes on and we grow sharing our experience, strength andhope. We ultimately l...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on forgiveness. Before Al-Anon, the author thought forgiveness was a way to exercise power. They could decide to bestow forgiveness on others and demonstrate their own kindness, but they did not forget the infraction. Now, the author sees forg...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Sitting under a tree with pigeons brought this man what pigeons and gravity can gift. At first angry, he realized it wasn't about him...it was about the pigeons, he just got in the way. Lesson: active alcoholics do what they do, including drink, sometimes we may place ourselves in the path. Our choic...

Lyne · Lyne

The member takes a new approach to Step 7--instead of being tearful or too intense, the member suggests looking at shortcomings with a sense of humor. Can we not laugh at ourselves, and stop taking ourselves so seriously? Real change can come with a belly laugh. If we can move out of our own way, we ma...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the effects of negative thinking. The writer describes falling into the habit of negative thoughts when feeling tired, bored or stressed. The tendency is to focus on what is wrong, and that type of thinking can take over. Through al anon, the writer l...

Lyne · Lyne

This reading says that no one can know what is in one's heart, soul, or mind, nor know how to meet another's needs, if we don't tell them. It is also unrealistic to expect any one person to be able to meet all of someone's needs. The author used some negative emotions like silently fuming, pouting, and t...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

This page comments on the role of faith in allowing some Alanon newcomers to more quickly grasp and benefit from the Higher Power concept than those without or that have lost faith. A practiced faith in something greater than ourselves from previous spiritual endeavors can offer a great start, but...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on the power of love. The writer describes times of worry when it felt like he/she was not doing anything important in life. It felt to the writer as if nothing of much consequence was getting accomplished. As the writer learned more about love: love fo...

Gailsy · Gailsy

So happy I decided to look this group up again. Did not remember any of my account information so had a hard time getting back in. I already recognize some names from many years ago. tiredtonight and hotrod are 2 Ive noticed from way back. This disease is always with us but sadly I have fallen into the chro...

DM2021 · DM2021

Todays reading has no "reminder" or "quote" it is basically a culmination of my previous post on working Step 4that I posted last Friday. It is a list of outcomes that should help the participant doing the 4th Step check onwhether they are working the Step to the best possible outcome for themselves. ...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on how seeking knowledge and understanding can prevent us from making progress. Of course, the author shares that some knowledge is helpful - like looking at past experiences to find information about ourselves and our relationships. Inventor...

DM2021 · DM2021

"On the death of a friend, we should consider that the fates through confidence have devolved on us the task of a double living, that we have henceforth to fulfill the promise of our friend's life also, in our own, to the world." ~ Henry David Thoreau Betty you are always in my thoughts and your memory liv...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Turning our life and our will over to a higher power (Step 3) is not just a one and done, observes today's author. It is something we do more often as we develop and grow spiritually. The circumstances that lead us to Alanon include few or no other choices but to admit our powerlessness and look for help. A...

DM2021 · DM2021

The steps can be broken down into 4 parts,1 to 3 are about facing up, 4 to 6 are owning up, 7 to 9 are making up, 10 to 12 are keeping up. Twelve Steps1. We admitted we were powerless over alcoholthat our lives had become unmanageable.2. Came to believe that a Power greater t...

SusannaMaria · SusannaMaria

Hi I live on a small island and am looking to find an online sponsor

Lyne · Lyne

Why do they drink when they know it damages themself and the family? How do they justify drinking behavior--after all, they are suffering too? Reminder: Trying to analyze why another person persists in destructive behavior cannot help me out of my own difficulties. I can overcome them only by tu...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is on the topic of forgiveness. The writer begins by acknowledging that in his/her early days in the program, he/she did not feel the capacity for forgiveness. The writer also stated that he/she equated forgiveness with accepting unacceptable behavior. O...

tyt84 · tyt84

Hello, This is my first time posting here, but I have read many threads and they have been helpful in my journey in navigating life with an alcoholic spouse. I regularly attend Al-Anon meetings and rehab support groups, but I've yet to be able to discuss the below out of the shame and fear that it has caus...

DM2021 · DM2021

Al-Anon's Twelve Traditions1. Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.2. For our group purpose there is but one authoritya loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servantsthey do not gove...

DM2021 · DM2021

Today's reading starts out with bringing to mind how it feels to go to the grocery store to find that the item(s) weexpect to be there are gone and that the grocer only needs to take inventory to realize that it is time to restock. For us taking the step to do an inventory on ourselves, by doing the 4th Step...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on decision making. In the past, their desire to make decisions that got them exactly what they wanted prevented them from making decisions at all. In Al-Anon, the author learned that we can never know the outcomes of our decisions, we can only use...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

'We punish ourselves far more than life ever punishes us' begins today's reading, perhaps a startling claim for some. We may see this in action, however, when we observe the fearful thoughts that can arise in our mind around the alcoholic's behavior and consider the distress we feel as a result. Alan...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

February 17th marked six years since we lost the founder of this site, Miracles in Progress. The anniversary was noted on another MIP message board and I felt a need to acknowledge it here as well. The Al-Anon message board has been the most active at this site and I am forever grateful to John F for it's c...

Lyne · Lyne

Early on, the member learned that abuse of any kind was unacceptable. Each of us have choices, and we can set limits, give ourselves guidelines, etc. But it took several years to realize that it was they who were still abusing themself. In this case it was verbal abuse--calling themself homely, th...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how we can give any and all anxieties and troubles to our Higher Power. The writer describes growing up in an alcoholic home; her parents were unaware of so much that was happening to the extent that a babysitter abused her and life went on as if nothing had...

DM2021 · DM2021

This day's reading reminds us that in Al-Anon when we feel at our lowest and most afraid is the time to realizethat our faith and prayer in and to our Higher Power can bring about the relief and answers we need. Todays Reminder: "I have an important part to play in my relationship with my Higher Power...

freedomssong · freedomssong

Hi All, I'm relatively new to actively being involved in Al-Anon, though I have known about aspects of it most of my life and I'm about to turn 61. I'm aware that I have a huge pattern of forcing solutions. It started when I was a very young child, as my mother, who has been sober for almost 50 years, starte...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Great perspective check today as we are asked to consider how confusion can be a gift. This can be when we feel we need to make a change but are uncertain as to what it should be. Confusion may be a sign of grace that helps me realize that it is not yet time to act. When we know more than we need to before it is ti...

Lyne · Lyne

Every person is different, in alanon and elsewhere. Comparing ourselves to others is a defect of character and it causes self-dislike. Each of us have special qualities and we should not compare ourselves to anyone else's recovery. We are all doing the best we can. We offer an important contrib...

DM2021 · DM2021

The C2C reading today suggests that in order to help us in Al-Anon get past all the negativity that we have been living with due tothe disease of alcoholism and its affect on our personalities, that we replace those negative feelings towards ourselves with actionsthat are positive and/or creative....

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how the climate in an alcoholic home can be one of division and separation. The writer describes seeing parents divided during arguments fueled by alcohol, siblings being divided when hearing why cant you be more like your brother or sister and divi...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on their friendships with people. The author notes that they sometimes reach out and try to be friends with people, even when those attempts are friendships are repeatedly rebuffed. The closing line at Al-Anon meetings ("though you may not like a...

Youknowme · Youknowme

Today's C2C speaks of violence, and of the fact that whilst al-anon does not give advice regarding staying or leaving relationships, but emphasises personal responsibility for our own safety and well-being. It reminds us that no matter how unfair, dangerous or harmful the behaviour of another is...

Chinstrap · Chinstrap

Hello, I'm sure my story is a familiar one. My husband of 4 years has always had a problem with drinking to excess. Previous to meeting me it resulted in serious cases of self harm. When we got together he seemed to turn a corner despite some back slides but I always made sure I was there for him, loved h...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Regardless of circumstances, we have the capability to take at least a small step towards a positive result or feeling notes this writer. This can be an action in the program, for someone else, addressing a health or emotional need of our own, something we fear, something that will recharge or stir o...

Lyne · Lyne

The newcomer to alanon is given a suggestion to wait 6 months before making any major decisions. Thinking can change dramatically after 6 months of program. At that time, the writer decided to continue to wait, to learn and to recover, before deciding about their relationship. But the writer ha...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on the slogan: think. As the writer points out, for many of us thinking (too much) is the problem. The intention of this one word slogan is to think before acting, think without acting impulsively, act with thoughtfulness, not reaction. The writer ha...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hey all. It's been a while, a long while. Last I posted, I believe I was headed from KS to AZ to deal with my parents. I've made several trips back/forth trying to be of service -- so wish they lived closer. My mother passed away on New Year's Day so went out to be with my dad, clear things from the memory c...

SunnyFrog · SunnyFrog

I know there's already lots of topics on forgiveness but I wanted to create a new one. I have been praying,meditating ,using all the tools I know of trying to forgive and let go of past things that the A in my life did. Some of them just seem/feel unforgivable. Although I am no longer with him,this anger I s...

DM2021 · DM2021

I must warn you all you may find this long! Today's C2C reading discusses how anyone new to Al-Anon expects that they will learn how to "cure" the alcoholic in their life. That the Al-Anon program will, in essence, produce their serenity, by easing all their past and present pain. What we soonlea...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

This author worked hard learning and applying Alanon principles before falling prey to self pity and resentment over the perceived failures of the alcoholic to deliver emotional support. Meditation on Steps 6 and 7 shed light: were entirely ready, humbly asking higher power to remove our shortc...

Lyne · Lyne

This reading begins: " The alcoholic was obsessed with alcohol, and I was obsessed with the alcoholic.". The writer watched, monitored, controlled, felt hurt, self-pity, embarrassment, superiority, resentment, and anger. The writer also felt misery, wretchedness, and gloom, but eventuall...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Last week I mistakenly wrote a reflection on todays date in Hope for Today, so todays reflection will be from Jan 22, in case you have the book and are reading as well. Todays reading is a focus on the al-anon suggestions to seek progress rather than perfection and to mind our own b...

DM2021 · DM2021

The author of today's C2C reading suggests that one cannot make changes for a multitude of issues, in one day. That sometimes we find our selves so troubled over a small issue when in fact that small issue is just the strawthat broke the camel's back. Talking it out with an Al-Anon member or sponsor ca...

shimo · shimo

A Credo of Detachment by Evelyn Leite You and I are in a relationship which I value and want to keep. Yet each of us is a separate person with his own unique needs and the right to try to meet those needs. I know that when you lash out at me in anger it is because you are in pain. I will try to have sympathy for...

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading, the author shares about how hard it was to talk about themselves in meetings initially, and how hard it was to focus on themselves, their feelings, their wants, and their needs. With the help of their sponsor, the author realized that they were overly interested in others because...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page considers alcoholism as a disease, something that cannot be controlled by will power alone. If that is so, why do I perhaps act toward the alcoholic like it can be? Reminder - 'Arguments are useless against sickness.' Compassion and understanding are powerful and helpful because they...

WendyP · WendyP

HI it's WendyP, at the moment I am going through a very stressful family issue, and feeling the effects of it, not being able to sleep, eat, etc, and because I am in that zone at the moment, and feeling like I am, I started to Question myself, if I was working my program, and not working my program. I started...

Drpc · Drpc

My AH is now sober and active in AA. I found out that he cheated on me for years with different women and I am having so much trouble forgiving him. Is there anything in Al-anon that can specifically help with cheating or would I find a therapist?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Another fantastic but sad day (Preview) It is definitely time to share some of the things that have been going on in my world--the one that revolves around me. Yes, I am full of it today. But, honestly, do I really need to say honestly? If I can't be honest on here when can I really be? So, now that that is said, I can get to the stuff that I am going thr...	Hoot Nanny	4	811	Apr 1, 2023 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope for Today, Monday, 3/27, compassion requires patience (Preview) The writer discusses how difficult it can be to find compassion for oneself and others, and especially for "certain people." We have to look past anger and rage for kindness. We need to let go of resentment from unrealistic expectations. We should ask ourselves, How Important is It? Compassion m...	Lyne	4	835	Apr 1, 2023 by SunnyFrog
	Courage to Change March 29 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the importance of being nicer to ourselves. The author has learned to ignore the voices in their head that tell them that they are not good enough. These voices are a symptom of damaged self-esteem that results from living with the effects of alco...	Skorpi	2	413	Mar 30, 2023 by Lyne
	3/28/23 ODAT Why Experience, Strength, and Hope (ESH)? (Preview) Alanon meeting opening reminds us of our purpose: to share our experience (of using program principles), strength (from the program, ) and hope (our improved outlook for our future) that helps us remain focused and is encouraging for others. Reminder: Do I consider these elements in what I share,...	Enigmatic	3	800	Mar 28, 2023 by Daffodils
	Hope for Today Mar 26 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on some of the protocols of alanon meetings, specifically as they relate to the concepts and traditions of the program. The writer describes being taken aback by how peaceful and quiet the meetings seemed. As someone who had lived in an alcoholic home...	yanksfan51	3	326	Mar 26, 2023 by StargazerLily
	Even after almost a year of court ordered monitoring (thus no booze), brain damage exists. (Preview) Recently I had to be in the presence of my exH for an extended period of time as part of a legal proceeding. This was the first time I've been that close to him, for that long, in 2 years. I know he has been under strict court ordered alcohol monitoring for almost a year and thus is as dry as he has been in almos...	Fedora	4	852	Mar 25, 2023 by Daffodils
	Courage to Change March 22 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares that many Al-Anon members lost touch with their feelings as a result of living in the contradictory and explosive world of alcoholism. Many Al-Anon members lose touch with themselves as well. Recovery does not mean becoming a different person; for...	Skorpi	4	784	Mar 23, 2023 by Fedora
	3/21/23 ODAT The Evolution of Healthy Sharing (Preview) A head full of injuries and a heart full of despair often accompany the new member to an Alanon meeting, and are sometimes what fuel the content of first shares. Good it is that a new member finds the group that hears these first pain-focused expressions graciously, as it allows the newcomer to proce...	Enigmatic	3	822	Mar 21, 2023 by SunnyFrog
	C2C, Monday, 3/20, how to evaluate worthiness (Preview) Some people judge their self-worth by their accomplishments and on what others say. In this manner, a sense of satisfaction is fleeting. But another part of self-worth can be by their ability to love others--saying a kind word, writing a considerate note, or just by appreciating someone else. W...	Lyne	1	813	Mar 20, 2023 by DM2021
	Hope for Today Mar 19 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a look at grieving and how it relates to recovery. The writer describes losing his father to alcoholism and instead of feeling grief, felt a mixture of relief, pity, a vague type of sadness and a lot of anger. In his view, his father had not died because of a resp...	yanksfan51	2	920	Mar 19, 2023 by Daffodils
	C2C for March 10, 2023 is about Acceptance (Preview) This days reading refers to the previous two Friday readings that speaks to the reader about recovery fromconsistently avoiding painful feelings and situations just to play it safe and that we run the risk of not livingour lives fully. Step four should help us to realize those parts of our personal...	DM2021	8	468	Mar 19, 2023 by DM2021
	C2C for March 17, 2023 That This Too Shall Pass (Preview) Todays reading reminds us that in Al-Anon, with the teachings of the Steps, Traditions, Slogans, courage, faith and our need for each other,each issue we encounter, even the painful ones, will in our journey pass as time goes on and we grow sharing our experience, strength andhope. We ultimately l...	DM2021	3	688	Mar 18, 2023 by SunnyFrog
	Courage to Change 3/15 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on forgiveness. Before Al-Anon, the author thought forgiveness was a way to exercise power. They could decide to bestow forgiveness on others and demonstrate their own kindness, but they did not forget the infraction. Now, the author sees forg...	Skorpi	4	368	Mar 16, 2023 by Lyne
	3/14/23 Pigeons and Seat Selection (Preview) Sitting under a tree with pigeons brought this man what pigeons and gravity can gift. At first angry, he realized it wasn't about him...it was about the pigeons, he just got in the way. Lesson: active alcoholics do what they do, including drink, sometimes we may place ourselves in the path. Our choic...	Enigmatic	3	366	Mar 14, 2023 by DM2021
	C2C, Monday, 3/13, shortcomings (Preview) The member takes a new approach to Step 7--instead of being tearful or too intense, the member suggests looking at shortcomings with a sense of humor. Can we not laugh at ourselves, and stop taking ourselves so seriously? Real change can come with a belly laugh. If we can move out of our own way, we ma...	Lyne	2	606	Mar 13, 2023 by SunnyFrog
	Hope for Today March 12 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the effects of negative thinking. The writer describes falling into the habit of negative thoughts when feeling tired, bored or stressed. The tendency is to focus on what is wrong, and that type of thinking can take over. Through al anon, the writer l...	yanksfan51	2	456	Mar 12, 2023 by Daffodils
	C2C, Monday, 3/6, mind reading (Preview) This reading says that no one can know what is in one's heart, soul, or mind, nor know how to meet another's needs, if we don't tell them. It is also unrealistic to expect any one person to be able to meet all of someone's needs. The author used some negative emotions like silently fuming, pouting, and t...	Lyne	4	909	Mar 8, 2023 by Daffodils
	3/7/23 ODAT Lesson to be Learned from Faith (Preview) This page comments on the role of faith in allowing some Alanon newcomers to more quickly grasp and benefit from the Higher Power concept than those without or that have lost faith. A practiced faith in something greater than ourselves from previous spiritual endeavors can offer a great start, but...	Enigmatic	2	967	Mar 7, 2023 by DM2021
	Hope for Today Mar 5 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on the power of love. The writer describes times of worry when it felt like he/she was not doing anything important in life. It felt to the writer as if nothing of much consequence was getting accomplished. As the writer learned more about love: love fo...	yanksfan51	3	844	Mar 5, 2023 by PosiesandPuppies
	Missing in action for years (Preview) So happy I decided to look this group up again. Did not remember any of my account information so had a hard time getting back in. I already recognize some names from many years ago. tiredtonight and hotrod are 2 Ive noticed from way back. This disease is always with us but sadly I have fallen into the chro...	Gailsy	3	852	Mar 5, 2023 by Lyne
	C2C for March 3, 2023 is about Maturity (Preview) Todays reading has no "reminder" or "quote" it is basically a culmination of my previous post on working Step 4that I posted last Friday. It is a list of outcomes that should help the participant doing the 4th Step check onwhether they are working the Step to the best possible outcome for themselves. ...	DM2021	3	895	Mar 5, 2023 by Enigmatic
	Courage to Change March 1 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on how seeking knowledge and understanding can prevent us from making progress. Of course, the author shares that some knowledge is helpful - like looking at past experiences to find information about ourselves and our relationships. Inventor...	Skorpi	2	862	Mar 4, 2023 by Lyne
	In Memory of Betty 7/30/1937 to 2/29/2020 (Preview) "On the death of a friend, we should consider that the fates through confidence have devolved on us the task of a double living, that we have henceforth to fulfill the promise of our friend's life also, in our own, to the world." ~ Henry David Thoreau Betty you are always in my thoughts and your memory liv...	DM2021	3	863	Mar 3, 2023 by Gailsy
	2/28/23 C2C Step 3 – Not One and Done (Preview) Turning our life and our will over to a higher power (Step 3) is not just a one and done, observes today's author. It is something we do more often as we develop and grow spiritually. The circumstances that lead us to Alanon include few or no other choices but to admit our powerlessness and look for help. A...	Enigmatic	2	910	Mar 2, 2023 by Lyne
	The 12 Steps of Al-Anon (Preview) The steps can be broken down into 4 parts,1 to 3 are about facing up, 4 to 6 are owning up, 7 to 9 are making up, 10 to 12 are keeping up. Twelve Steps1. We admitted we were powerless over alcoholthat our lives had become unmanageable.2. Came to believe that a Power greater t...	DM2021	3	955	Mar 1, 2023 by Enigmatic
	looking for an online sponsor (Preview) Hi I live on a small island and am looking to find an online sponsor	SusannaMaria	5	3902	Feb 27, 2023 by Ralu
	ODAT in alanon, Monday, 2/27, why do they drink? (Preview) Why do they drink when they know it damages themself and the family? How do they justify drinking behavior--after all, they are suffering too? Reminder: Trying to analyze why another person persists in destructive behavior cannot help me out of my own difficulties. I can overcome them only by tu...	Lyne	2	848	Feb 27, 2023 by SunnyFrog
	Hope for Today Feb 26 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is on the topic of forgiveness. The writer begins by acknowledging that in his/her early days in the program, he/she did not feel the capacity for forgiveness. The writer also stated that he/she equated forgiveness with accepting unacceptable behavior. O...	yanksfan51	4	358	Feb 27, 2023 by DM2021
	First Post -- Would Very Much Appreciate Feedback (Thank You) domestic violence assault child endangerment (Preview) Hello, This is my first time posting here, but I have read many threads and they have been helpful in my journey in navigating life with an alcoholic spouse. I regularly attend Al-Anon meetings and rehab support groups, but I've yet to be able to discuss the below out of the shame and fear that it has caus...	tyt84	4	738	Feb 26, 2023 by PosiesandPuppies
	Al-Anon 12 Tradions (Preview) Al-Anon's Twelve Traditions1. Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.2. For our group purpose there is but one authoritya loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servantsthey do not gove...	DM2021	2	631	Feb 26, 2023 by SunnyFrog
	C2C for February 24, 2023 Grocery Shopping (Preview) Today's reading starts out with bringing to mind how it feels to go to the grocery store to find that the item(s) weexpect to be there are gone and that the grocer only needs to take inventory to realize that it is time to restock. For us taking the step to do an inventory on ourselves, by doing the 4th Step...	DM2021	3	633	Feb 26, 2023 by SunnyFrog
	Courage to Change Feb. 22 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on decision making. In the past, their desire to make decisions that got them exactly what they wanted prevented them from making decisions at all. In Al-Anon, the author learned that we can never know the outcomes of our decisions, we can only use...	Skorpi	3	338	Feb 23, 2023 by SunnyFrog
	2/21/23 ODAT Not Generating Trouble for Myself (Preview) 'We punish ourselves far more than life ever punishes us' begins today's reading, perhaps a startling claim for some. We may see this in action, however, when we observe the fearful thoughts that can arise in our mind around the alcoholic's behavior and consider the distress we feel as a result. Alan...	Enigmatic	2	454	Feb 21, 2023 by DM2021
	Remembering John F (Preview) February 17th marked six years since we lost the founder of this site, Miracles in Progress. The anniversary was noted on another MIP message board and I felt a need to acknowledge it here as well. The Al-Anon message board has been the most active at this site and I am forever grateful to John F for it's c...	tiredtonite	2	818	Feb 21, 2023 by DM2021
	C2C, Monday, 2/20, standing in the way of recovery (Preview) Early on, the member learned that abuse of any kind was unacceptable. Each of us have choices, and we can set limits, give ourselves guidelines, etc. But it took several years to realize that it was they who were still abusing themself. In this case it was verbal abuse--calling themself homely, th...	Lyne	2	826	Feb 20, 2023 by SunnyFrog
	Hope for Today Feb 19 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how we can give any and all anxieties and troubles to our Higher Power. The writer describes growing up in an alcoholic home; her parents were unaware of so much that was happening to the extent that a babysitter abused her and life went on as if nothing had...	yanksfan51	3	803	Feb 19, 2023 by DM2021
	C2C for February 17, 2023 Is About Faith (Preview) This day's reading reminds us that in Al-Anon when we feel at our lowest and most afraid is the time to realizethat our faith and prayer in and to our Higher Power can bring about the relief and answers we need. Todays Reminder: "I have an important part to play in my relationship with my Higher Power...	DM2021	2	834	Feb 17, 2023 by Daffodils
	Forcing Solutions or Improving My Situation? (Preview) Hi All, I'm relatively new to actively being involved in Al-Anon, though I have known about aspects of it most of my life and I'm about to turn 61. I'm aware that I have a huge pattern of forcing solutions. It started when I was a very young child, as my mother, who has been sober for almost 50 years, starte...	freedomssong	2	828	Feb 16, 2023 by Lyne
	2/14/23 The Gift of…Confusion? (Preview) Great perspective check today as we are asked to consider how confusion can be a gift. This can be when we feel we need to make a change but are uncertain as to what it should be. Confusion may be a sign of grace that helps me realize that it is not yet time to act. When we know more than we need to before it is ti...	Enigmatic	2	829	Feb 15, 2023 by SunnyFrog
	C2C, Monday, 2/13, compare=despair (Preview) Every person is different, in alanon and elsewhere. Comparing ourselves to others is a defect of character and it causes self-dislike. Each of us have special qualities and we should not compare ourselves to anyone else's recovery. We are all doing the best we can. We offer an important contrib...	Lyne	1	813	Feb 13, 2023 by DM2021
	C2C – February 10, 2023 – Replacing negatives with positives (Preview) The C2C reading today suggests that in order to help us in Al-Anon get past all the negativity that we have been living with due tothe disease of alcoholism and its affect on our personalities, that we replace those negative feelings towards ourselves with actionsthat are positive and/or creative....	DM2021	3	859	Feb 12, 2023 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope for Today Feb 12 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how the climate in an alcoholic home can be one of division and separation. The writer describes seeing parents divided during arguments fueled by alcohol, siblings being divided when hearing why cant you be more like your brother or sister and divi...	yanksfan51	2	839	Feb 12, 2023 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Chnge Feb. 8 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on their friendships with people. The author notes that they sometimes reach out and try to be friends with people, even when those attempts are friendships are repeatedly rebuffed. The closing line at Al-Anon meetings ("though you may not like a...	Skorpi	2	346	Feb 9, 2023 by Daffodils
	C2C 29 September- Violence and personal responsibility. (Preview) Today's C2C speaks of violence, and of the fact that whilst al-anon does not give advice regarding staying or leaving relationships, but emphasises personal responsibility for our own safety and well-being. It reminds us that no matter how unfair, dangerous or harmful the behaviour of another is...	Youknowme	9	1408	Feb 8, 2023 by SunnyFrog
	Need guidance/advice (Preview) Hello, I'm sure my story is a familiar one. My husband of 4 years has always had a problem with drinking to excess. Previous to meeting me it resulted in serious cases of self harm. When we got together he seemed to turn a corner despite some back slides but I always made sure I was there for him, loved h...	Chinstrap	6	1097	Feb 7, 2023 by Fedora
	2/7/23 C2C One Small Step, and a Guarantee (Preview) Regardless of circumstances, we have the capability to take at least a small step towards a positive result or feeling notes this writer. This can be an action in the program, for someone else, addressing a health or emotional need of our own, something we fear, something that will recharge or stir o...	Enigmatic	3	829	Feb 7, 2023 by Daffodils
	C2C, Monday, 2/6, Please wait (Preview) The newcomer to alanon is given a suggestion to wait 6 months before making any major decisions. Thinking can change dramatically after 6 months of program. At that time, the writer decided to continue to wait, to learn and to recover, before deciding about their relationship. But the writer ha...	Lyne	2	837	Feb 7, 2023 by Enigmatic
	Hope for Today Feb 5 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on the slogan: think. As the writer points out, for many of us thinking (too much) is the problem. The intention of this one word slogan is to think before acting, think without acting impulsively, act with thoughtfulness, not reaction. The writer ha...	yanksfan51	1	821	Feb 5, 2023 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hey All...Sharing my Life Updates (Preview) Hey all. It's been a while, a long while. Last I posted, I believe I was headed from KS to AZ to deal with my parents. I've made several trips back/forth trying to be of service -- so wish they lived closer. My mother passed away on New Year's Day so went out to be with my dad, clear things from the memory c...	Iamhere	12	965	Feb 4, 2023 by PosiesandPuppies
	Forgiveness (Preview) I know there's already lots of topics on forgiveness but I wanted to create a new one. I have been praying,meditating ,using all the tools I know of trying to forgive and let go of past things that the A in my life did. Some of them just seem/feel unforgivable. Although I am no longer with him,this anger I s...	SunnyFrog	21	801	Feb 3, 2023 by SunnyFrog
	C2C – February 3, 2023 – Al-Anon & Your HP (Preview) *I must warn you all you may find this long*! Today's C2C reading discusses how anyone new to Al-Anon expects that they will learn how to "cure" the alcoholic in their life. That the Al-Anon program will, in essence, produce their serenity, by easing all their past and present pain. What we soonlea...	DM2021	3	1273	Feb 3, 2023 by SunnyFrog
	1/31/23 C2C Hard Work: Necessary, but not Sufficient (Preview) This author worked hard learning and applying Alanon principles before falling prey to self pity and resentment over the perceived failures of the alcoholic to deliver emotional support. Meditation on Steps 6 and 7 shed light: were entirely ready, humbly asking higher power to remove our shortc...	Enigmatic	4	851	Feb 2, 2023 by Taraxacum1
	Hope for Today, Monday, 1/30, obsession (Preview) This reading begins: " The alcoholic was obsessed with alcohol, and I was obsessed with the alcoholic.". The writer watched, monitored, controlled, felt hurt, self-pity, embarrassment, superiority, resentment, and anger. The writer also felt misery, wretchedness, and gloom, but eventuall...	Lyne	2	826	Jan 30, 2023 by DM2021
	Hope for Today Jan 29 (22) (Preview) Good morning everyone- Last week I mistakenly wrote a reflection on todays date in Hope for Today, so todays reflection will be from Jan 22, in case you have the book and are reading as well. Todays reading is a focus on the al-anon suggestions to seek progress rather than perfection and to mind our own b...	yanksfan51	2	892	Jan 29, 2023 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C – January 27, 2023 - Ironing out those rough spots!! (Preview) The author of today's C2C reading suggests that one cannot make changes for a multitude of issues, in one day. That sometimes we find our selves so troubled over a small issue when in fact that small issue is just the strawthat broke the camel's back. Talking it out with an Al-Anon member or sponsor ca...	DM2021	3	1244	Jan 28, 2023 by Lyne
	A Credo of Detachment (Preview) A Credo of Detachment by Evelyn Leite You and I are in a relationship which I value and want to keep. Yet each of us is a separate person with his own unique needs and the right to try to meet those needs. I know that when you lash out at me in anger it is because you are in pain. I will try to have sympathy for...	shimo	11	4773	Jan 26, 2023 by PK
	Courage to Change January 25 (Preview) In today's reading, the author shares about how hard it was to talk about themselves in meetings initially, and how hard it was to focus on themselves, their feelings, their wants, and their needs. With the help of their sponsor, the author realized that they were overly interested in others because...	Skorpi	3	832	Jan 26, 2023 by Daffodils
	1/24/23 ODAT Alcoholism – a Disease? (Preview) Today's page considers alcoholism as a disease, something that cannot be controlled by will power alone. If that is so, why do I perhaps act toward the alcoholic like it can be? Reminder - 'Arguments are useless against sickness.' Compassion and understanding are powerful and helpful because they...	Enigmatic	3	885	Jan 25, 2023 by DM2021
	Being an older member and The Head of the Family in Al-Anon. (Preview) HI it's WendyP, at the moment I am going through a very stressful family issue, and feeling the effects of it, not being able to sleep, eat, etc, and because I am in that zone at the moment, and feeling like I am, I started to Question myself, if I was working my program, and not working my program. I started...	WendyP	4	691	Jan 25, 2023 by DM2021
	Infidelity (Preview) My AH is now sober and active in AA. I found out that he cheated on me for years with different women and I am having so much trouble forgiving him. Is there anything in Al-anon that can specifically help with cheating or would I find a therapist?	Drpc	3	479	Jan 24, 2023 by DM2021
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.