The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is a focus on some of the protocols of alanon meetings, specifically as they relate to the concepts and traditions of the program. The writer describes being taken aback by how peaceful and quiet the meetings seemed. As someone who had lived in an alcoholic home, he/she was accustomed to chaos, loud voices talking over one another, and criticism. Over time the writer began to appreciate that it was the structure of the meetings that encouraged self expression in each person there. As concept five states that differing opinions are welcomed and useful, we are reminded in meetings to refrain from giving advice or criticism of others.
The orderliness and quiet of meetings unnerved me at first as well. I grew up in a family that interrupted one another, talked over one another, and whoever was loudest (or got the best laugh): won. At the same time it was difficult for me not to interrupt someone who was speaking- I truly learned that interruption was a natural part of conversation and I still work so hard at keeping that at bay-I also had a hard time speaking up when it was my turn. Just like the writer though, going back to meetings and going back and seeing the process and how the routine supports everyone just where they are, helped me to appreciate some of the ways the program works.
From the Thought for the Day: Do I exercise my right to be heard and my responsibility to speak as part of my groups conscience? Am I comfortable staying my views? And from Courage to Change (p.111): In Al-Anon Im learning that it is safe to be myself.
Thank you Mary for your service, and I also wish a gorgeous Spring day for you!
I have experienced many different types of meetings over the years. It took me quite awhile to find my "home meeting." The meetings I felt most comfortable in were the meetings that exhibited the characteristics you described above. The "safe space."
Grateful to have found it!
"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant." Anne Bradstreet
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I ugly cried during a share at a meeting. Everyone was silent and allowed me the space to do so which was incredibly helpful to me. In my family I was never sure when it was okay for me to express feelings.
The meetings allow me a small space that is just for me and the attendees give me the greatest gift of their presence and attention. It's difficult to express how important it is or the positive impact it has on me when I'm allowed to express myself.
A newcomer did express how she felt everyone was doing something wrong by witnessing my pain silently. I wish I had the words and wisdom at the time to let her know how helpful it really was to me.
