Al-Anon Family Group

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Post Info TOPIC: 3/14/23 Pigeons and Seat Selection

~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 899
3/14/23 Pigeons and Seat Selection

Sitting under a tree with pigeons brought this man what pigeons and gravity can gift. At first angry, he realized it wasn't about was about the pigeons, he just got in the way. 

Lesson: active alcoholics do what they do, including drink, sometimes we may place ourselves in the path. Our choice: get angry and fight it directly or accept that we didn't cause the alcoholism and can't control or cure it. We can choose to spend our energy in our own spiritual recovery. 

Reminder: It's not easy to watch a loved one go through needless suffering and pain, but there isn't anything we can do directly to stop it. I am powerless over alcohol, but not my ability to improve my life spiritually.

"It stands to reason that a change in us will be a force for good that will help the entire family." - How can I help my Children
My tendency is to want others to change for my convenience, do what is convenient and pleasing for me. If I hold to that model, I will become and remain unhappy. 

This reading is a great reminder for me: what is the nature of those I am dealing with? What is their capability? How can I work with them in a way that is not trying to control them, while encouraging their capacity to work cooperatively and maximize unity?

These are the questions I need to focus on today and the rest of time in my personal relationships. With those I will find peace...grateful for the reminders




"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 

~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2565

Thanks Paul for your service and ESH. One of the most trying things for me is having to accept habitual lying. I can only try to bless my A and change myself. I know this. I know the 3 C's and the 3 A's. I know the Serenity Prayer. I have a tool box overflowing with the best tools ever. And now and then, as happened over the weekend, I just lost my serenity for about 24 hours. I did not engage in battle. I know enough to focus on myself as no battle will change anything. I regained my ability to surrender to the things/people I cannot control. I can't imagine where I would be without this program. Amen.



Senior Member

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Posts: 408

Thank you for your service and ESH. You posed helpful questions to consider which reminded me I am powerless. The change in me has been to less frequently give advice or take actions to solve someone else's problems. It's a challenge but better solutions seem to materialize when I get out of the way.


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 787

Thank you Paul for todays reminder and your service.

Thank you as well for yours, Lyne's and Daffodils ESH, it is all very appreciated.

I feel the same as all of you, it is thanks to this program, so much easier to accept and work on myself.

There are times where it takes a toll, but it does not take long for me to realize my Al-Anon solutions,

learn and move on.


"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown


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