The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks Debbie for your service and great share. I feel great relief after I make annoying phone calls like to an insurance company. Last night I made my son a big pot of baked ziti. He and his wife get home late, they are tired, and have a 12 yr old. I just drop it off at their house, and I try and do this every 2-3 weeks. They were so grateful and that made me happy. And my walks outside with my dog are always a thrill--it never gets old to see and hear the sounds of nature. I have tough things in my life, but I feel blessed in many ways. Grateful.
When I first read the title of this reading,"replacing negatives with positives" I thought oh great,it's gonna say to simply change your negative thoughts into positive ones. That can work but the majority of the time it doesn't. So I was happy to read about changing negatives into "actions"
It made me think of one Christmas time at one of the jobs I had. There was a co-worker that was struggling so I made a gift bag with shampoo,deodorant,perfume,nail polish,earrings and lots of other items in it. When I took it into work for her I told her some random person stopped me on my way in,asked if I knew her and asked me to give it to her. She was thrilled with the gift bag and was really happy. I never told her or anyone else that it was from me. It really made my day(and my holiday) to help someone out like that and to see her smile. It made me happy too.
I needed this reminder today. My life is a definite crap show with so many different things going on but there are positive things too. I feel good about myself when I exercise daily. I love cooking for others and they seem to love it too. I love when I finish a drawing,it's satisfying. Even little things too like holding a door open for someone,talking to people in stores or even just saying hi and smiling at someone makes a difference.
I am coming to this thread late, but I have received so much from it!! Thank you Debbie for your service, and all the wonderful shares about this topic.
Many times, I can have the same thinking as SunnyFrog. It can be hard for me to get the "negative Nellie" out of my brain. Just speaking affirmations doesn't always do the trick! However, ACTIONS work! I remember someone (who does not come here anymore) told me early on, "Baby steps. Take one Day At A Time. Heck, one moment at a time if you have to! Concentrate on doing THE NEXT RIGHT THING for you - that can be getting your laundry done, making yourself your dinner, anything. Do not discount the small things." That was what worked for him during his acute phase, and you know, it worked for me too.
After a time, I was able to embrace what Betty had told me & begin writing out a daily Gratitude List. Honestly, that one was hard! But eventually I found that I was grateful for the sound of Birdsong, the feel of grass on my bare feet, & the ability to get out into Nature. Working the soil in my garden space always grounds me! That then morphed into a daily Gratitude "prayer" that I say as I drive myself to work. It reminds me that I have so much to be thankful for!
May I just say that SunnyFrog's act of Christmas kindness was one of the coolest things I have heard of!!! Kudos to you, Girl!!
Hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend! &
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
& 