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Post Info TOPIC: C2C for April 07, 2023 Pretensions

~*Service Worker*~

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C2C for April 07, 2023 Pretensions

Todays reading sums up, for the author, how they learned that their pretensions and expectations for giving a speech to a, new to the author,

Al-Anon group were a bit to grand.  All their plans were dashed when pretty much everything went wrong.  What they quickly learned was that

their HP knew better, with a sense that there was some humor in all that went awry, the author actually had a nice time and a successful speech

and visit.


Todays reminder:  "I give thanks for the ways my Higher Power finds to cut my pretensions down to size."  "When I can laugh a little, I feel less afraid."


Todays Quote:  "I want to remember, every time I'm tempted to take a heavy, somber view of a happening, that it may not be so bad after all I'll

cultivate a knack for recognizing and enjoying humorous moments." ~ ODAT in Al-Anon


I have to admit that there are times that I take myself way too seriously when faced with a task that can be viewed and/or criticized.  I think that is

what this reading is all about for me.  Sometimes I sense HP's nudge toward the humor when things do not go as planned or how I wanted them to

go and do appreciate when that happens.


Mostly I see this reading and where it falls into place with living with an alcoholic, who can be highly critical of everything that is done in the home. 

Is it important that the criticism be addressed?   No, because thus far I have learned it only leads to more criticism and solves nothing, so why bother

and why care?  Ask yourself this question, when faced with this issue:  If I address the criticizer will it solve anything or make it worse for myself?  I

drop my ego, take a step back and find the humor in the fact that if the criticism was given meanly in order to get a defensive rise out of me, I got

this and it is not going to work.


I have learned in Al-Anon how my pretensions about tasks and events play an important role in how I am affected when they are set too high and then

things do not go as planned.  Like maybe a pat on the back or a thank you would be nice, but rarely given.  That to feel confident in my self and my

abilities helps to stop someone from, if it their intent, to try and control my poise, grace and confidence.  I do not need affirmation in order to feel how

I think and work is right for me, as long as my heart is in the right place and what I am doing is for the good of everyone, mean criticism from an

alcoholic is a moot issue.


Has this reading affected your view of your own pretensions and outcomes?


TGIF and wishing all those in the MIP Family that celebrate, a happy Passover and/or Good Friday/Easter!!  {{HUGS}}

-- Edited by DM2021 on Thursday 6th of April 2023 07:13:56 PM


"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown


Senior Member

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Posts: 143

Good morning

I really like your share Debbie,especially about criticism. I am one who takes it to heart and become extremely hurt even when it's by someone that's actively using/drinking. I need to care less about their opinion and focus more on what I think and feel about myself.

And also, It seems most things rarely go how I am hoping or planning. Lately though I just tell myself that's how it's meant to be,my HP had/has different plans for me. It does seem to help.

Have a good weekend!


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2737

Thanks Debbie for your service and for all above ESH. What came to mind is, How important is it? Also, if you know the answer to a question, why ask?

If I relied on my A for feedback about myself, I would be the train wreck I was when I first came to program. I have given myself permission to decide who I am, what things need changing and what things are OK, and I am now the final authority on me! I certainly will listen to feedback and consider what people are saying, but I am the boss of me now.



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