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thanks to all
(Preview)
To all:
At first thru my journey, I was lost, blinded, thought I was crazy, couldn't barely get thru the day. It was though I was floundering thru my house, unable to see. Just bumping into things, never paying attention to where I was, or was headed. I couldn't see i...
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babs
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3
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1053
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Prayers needed..please
(Preview)
Hello alanon friends,
First of all I would like to say that the prayers for dying people like kerry5's mother are far more important than my request. Please first pray for her and her family. I feel a little funny asking for my prayer for my son but I do believe it helps for others to pray for something as...
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cdb
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9
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1085
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Sometimes Help Doesn't Help
(Preview)
When we see loved ones do things that hurt themselves, we hurt too. When they act self-defeating or are addicted or when we see their pain and the trouble they cause themselves and others, we might gladly turn ourselves inside out for them if it would help. But it would not.
Sometimes he...
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wallsal55
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6
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1113
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how honest with the children?
(Preview)
Hello again,
I'm new to this. I understand detachment, enabling, the 1st step, help yourself, can't fix the A. I've been online 3-4 times. Been to 1 meeting f2f. Reading the lit. It does seem to help. I'll keep going. Each day lately I do something for my self...
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babs
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8
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1227
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new 2 board
(Preview)
Hello all, I've been reading your posts and Im very sorry that we are all in such an unfortunate situation. From what I am reading, I have to ask, is it true that Im just suppose to enable this behavior of my "a"??? I do realize that its not me, I do realize that I cant control it, but its very deg...
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cant stand it
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3
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1031
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Ignoring other members
(Preview)
Most of us here didn't come here because we were happy and painfree. IN fact, it is just the opposite. The chatroom dynamics can be quite interesting at times, especially when there are alot of people chatting at the same time. Some of us are multitasking or running back and forth to the computer trying...
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cdb
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0
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1055
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Thank you all :)
(Preview)
Your replies helped me very much.
I'm feeling better this morning. I finally got a good night's sleep with the help of a sleeping pill. I'm getting back into my work routine again which stablizes me. My HP is relieving me of my excessive worries again now too.
It s...
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catherine
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1
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864
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I'm a mess.
(Preview)
Just got over a week's visit with my A & we drank together. I really don't feel guilty about MY drinking as it calmed my nerves so I was able stay calm around his behaviour, but now I have to deal with my own alcoholism.
I haven't had a drink since Saturday---two days sober, yet again.&...
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catherine
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4
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1204
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Free Al-Anon Speaker Tapes
(Preview)
http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=16
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John
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0
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3644
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Letting Go of Those Not In Recovery
(Preview)
I got an email from John asking for some assistance with the message board and thought "what do I have to offer?" Then I overslept this morning and missed by F2F and remembered the seed that John planted :) and thought well I can go the message board this morning for my "meeting." Tha...
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Maria123
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5
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1194
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Nervous
(Preview)
Hi everyone. Well, tomorrow my husband is coming home for a visit for a couple of weeks and I'm really nervous about it tonight. I guess because while he was gone and things were so up in the air about our marriage, I really had to focus on ME and let go of everything else. Now that we've been ta...
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autumnangel
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14
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1304
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who should a sponser be?
(Preview)
I'm new. I've heard a sponser should be someone you like, someone who's done the steps & is, well, experienced, if I can say that? What's the job of a sponser, I don't quite get it.
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babs
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9
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1328
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3 day Sobriety ended
(Preview)
Well, the 3 day's of no drink ended today. He just bought a beer. Just one. He doesn't have any money and I won't give him any for beer.
I noticed in my last posting of "last Night" that the last 2 people think I have a 2 year old daughter. Wrong. I only have a 12 year old stepdaughter and she doesn't live with...
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debalina36
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5
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1230
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snow day
(Preview)
well, i have a lot of unexpected time at home today, and i'm trying to keep busy. i am reading, painting,... i have not seen my ex "A" in 6 months, nor have we talked for one month. i have resisted calling, e-mailing, driving by,...(trying to think of these as esteemable acts). ...
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marissa
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5
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1272
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haximon.....
(Preview)
Hi,
thanks for your response to who a sponser should be! What did you mean about getting it in writing?
Thanks to all who also respond, also.
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babs
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0
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835
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Quote for Today/detachment
(Preview)
A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails--Source Unknown.
Hmmm....I always think of Detachment as that sort of friend...Thank God for that little pamphlet at Alanon meetings! www.coping.org/control/detach.htm :flowerpot...
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wallsal55
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4
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1246
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Doing the Right Thing
(Preview)
I am having the hardest time doing the right things in my life these days. The pressure I am feeling about my husband is weighing on me like a brick. Somewhere down deep I believe that we are over - yet I continue with the relationship. Part of me feels disloyal to him because he...
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AlaMom
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6
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965
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Update
(Preview)
Just a warm hello to everyone. No need to reply to this. I haven't been posting for awhile because I have had a crazy sinus infection and my ears have been blocked for several weeks now. I guess I can hear about 80% now. Dragging myself to work was a real chore.
My A...
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Annie
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4
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1046
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Stormy Seas
(Preview)
What a relief to find people who understand and who can offer hope and support. The last 18 months for me has been like riding a small boat in stormy seas.
Over the last 18 months my A has had 3 jobs, 3 breakdowns, fallen out with all of his friends, been unemployed 3 times, bee...
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Ava
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7
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926
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Last night
(Preview)
Hello - last night was pretty bad. I reacted to him. I fell back into my old habits and screamed back at him. I was actually trying to reason with my A, knowing full well my words were falling on deaf ears. I might as well talk to the wall. I knew that when he gets his unemployment check, he will drink and drink...
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debalina36
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9
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1299
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Finally... My first f2f meeting
(Preview)
I am happy tonight i got to go to my first f2f meeting and I felt great after. My Sister in law went together and at first we were the only ones there... worried then another girl joined. It wasn't what i thought but it was good, great. My A came home and i just told him that i was going out, did'nt tell him where...
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jj
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4
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1094
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getting step 1,2,3 right?
(Preview)
Hi,
I just want to check with the interpretations of steps 1,2,3.
Step 1: to realize I have lost control, can't manage anymore
Step 2: to realize I need a help from a higher power in order to heal (family, friends, Al anon, God, etc.)
Step 3: to realize I can only do my best & noth...
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babs
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12
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1693
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which reading material?
(Preview)
Hello,
Thanks for reading. I'm new to this & was interested in the forum magazine. Any thoughts on this. I'm not much of a long reader, more of a short term reader. Also I like more facts, and suggestions, not so much as comparing stories for reading. Any advice...
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babs
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5
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2929
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Taking the steps to take me back
(Preview)
So this week has been very good for me! I turned a very important corner this week by attending my first f2f. I would like to thank all of you for advising me to go I REALLY did need it! I feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Doing more things for me and explaining to my A the way that I am feeling and wh...
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jj
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3
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843
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lilleah,,,,,come to chatroom,,,
(Preview)
I will wait for you for a half hour or more,,cdb
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cdb
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1
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1286
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divorce vs. living with an A
(Preview)
This is my first time to write something on this board but right now I am at a pretty low point in my life. I was married about 4 months ago to a man whom I only knew for about 4 months bf we got married - (got engaged 1 1/2 mo after seeing each other and then married 2 1/2 mo later). He had told me he wa...
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estrelladehope
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10
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1486
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My son... letting go...
(Preview)
My son is struggling with doing life. He has a woman friend now. I think she has a good heart. They are getting close and that scares my son. The only thing my son knows of being close is abuse. My son is struggling getting and keeping gainful employment. I am weaning my son from being monetary dependent of...
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richard
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5
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1196
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new to this
(Preview)
Hi everyone. My name is Jenn. This is the first time i've done anything like this. Please bear with me. Well it doesn't seem that my story is all that different from many of you out there. My husband is an alcoholic. We have been married for almost seven yrs now. During the last...
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jenn011
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7
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1177
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Tuesday a.m. March 1,2005
(Preview)
Just a note to let you know I am the scheduled chair for the Tuesday morning Al-Anon meetings. However, for March 1 (next Tuesday), I am unable to keep my commitment as I have a Dr.'s appointment that morning. Hope one of the OP's can cover that meeting for me and if not, perhap...
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shimo
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2
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902
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God listens
(Preview)
My husband obtained a gun from a girl that was stolen and now she is in jail and the gun has to go back to the police, which takes it out of my home and out of my A husband's hands!
God listens to my prayers! And he will listen to yours! Plus I wanted to tell you all how much I appreciate your support and prayers...
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debalina36
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6
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1260
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Grateful
(Preview)
Hi everyone. Well, sometimes something happens to brighten your day and remind you that people really are basically good. Tonight I was in the drive thru lane at McDonald's and when I got up to the window to pay for the food, the guy told me that the lady in front of me had paid for my order!&n...
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autumnangel
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5
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1065
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Self Esteem, Self Love, Self Centeredness
(Preview)
by Nancy Poitou, M.A., M.F.T.
I have been asked often about what is self-esteem, self-love and self-centeredness. These are very good questions and it is a fine line that separates these concepts.
Self esteem means to hold oneself in high esteem, feeling worthy of a good life and good t...
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Phil
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1
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1550
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son's addiction
(Preview)
Hi, I am new on this board... My 21 year old son is really messed up..He lost his job ---had to move back home with my husband and I... We have had to pay over $800. for electricity water, phone,that he owed when living in town...He has no income! The last straw was a $450 f...
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lalarainbow
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6
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1306
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Sponsor me please!
(Preview)
Hi I am in London, England and have difficulty getting to face to face meetings. I have never had a sponsor and I think it would really help me.
Please could you contact me if you have been in alanon a while and if you have the time to spare to help me
Many thanks[email]hollidaymandy@hotmail.com...
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mandyhol
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2
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991
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Chatroom won't load :( help
(Preview)
Am I the only one who cannot get the chatroom to load? All, I get is a grey page. I am having withdrawals here....Yikes...cdb
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cdb
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1
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864
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Debilyn... & anyone or all...
(Preview)
Yup, I listened to my then therapist and put the title of the car in my son’s name. See… you are as smart as a therapist. I upped the quality of coffee I drink now that I can afford it. I drink “Melitta” brand coffee. I can only find it by phone or Internet… my last drug in life: I ain't going to be perfect about n...
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richard
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4
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1165
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MARCH BUS MTG
(Preview)
The March Business Meeting has been rescheduled to Wednesday, March 9, 7:00 p.m. EST. All members are invited to attend the meetings!! Hope to see you all there!!
Love in recovery - Shimo (Jeri)
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shimo
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0
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944
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The Power of Program
(Preview)
This program and HP are so wonderful. As many know I have been struggling. I was complaining because I thought I lost the confidence I had several months ago regarding making decisions in my life. But what I realized tonight through a newcomer, I havent lost it - it has just taken a d...
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AlaMom
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1
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1060
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I can't control it
(Preview)
I kept my mouth shut while he had a meltdown the other day. I bit my tongue. The phone rang and it was his father. He rebuked his own father for some imagined behavior. I don't know of any circumstance when it would be justified to talk to his dad the way he did. My father in law is completely admirable. I know...
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Jill
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3
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1128
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FINDING "OUR "SACRED PLACE
(Preview)
This increasingly chaotic world is making us sick,,,add an alcoholic or an addict to our lives and it is increased 10 fold or even 100.Our hurried and hassle-filled lifestyles are increasing our risk for strokes, heart attacks and mental illnesses such as depression.
We could all use a sacred pla...
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gardengal
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6
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1227
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Loosing All Hope
(Preview)
I am really freaking out here. My mother hurt her leg at xmas and i have been begging her to go ever since. But she was walking (with a limp) getting around babysitting my kids like always for a couple of weeks, so i thought was a pulled muscle i kept telling her to go and she wouldnt. She finally had no choice...
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kerry5
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9
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1481
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New to Al-Anon HELP
(Preview)
My husband is an alcoholic and my father is a recovering one. I attended my first meeting and it planted a seed. But it is hard. My husband is drunk tonight and the one thing that hit me hard is that I cannot control what he does. I cannot control what he drinks. I can only control how I react and what I say. My s...
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debalina36
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7
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1321
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Can't Keep My Mouth Shut
(Preview)
Can anyone help? My husband has accepted a job in another town. He says that he wants a divorce. That the purpose of life is happiness and he will be happy without me. He walks around obsessing about his diet, his dissertation, his new job, the price of a membership on the golf course. I ask to talk about ou...
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nmike
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6
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1287
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Powerlessness
(Preview)
Hi everyone. Today I was reminded all over again that I'm powerless over other people, and that is still a really hard lesson for me to learn. I had a long talk with my husband and we got some things out about our marriage and how we both were feeling, which was good. But then when I noti...
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autumnangel
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5
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1256
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Great Quote from HP
(Preview)
Do you need me? I am there. You cannot see me, yet I am the light you see by. You cannot hear me, yet I speak through your voice. You cannot feel me, yet I am the power at work in your hands. I am at work, though you do not understand my ways. I am at work, though you do not understand my works. I am not strange visio...
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autumnangel
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2
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905
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Kerry5
(Preview)
Kerry, So sory for you. This must have been an awful day beyond what we can even immagine for you. My heart does really go out to you. Your last post sounded like you were not going to come back here and it gave me tears in my eyes. I hope that you can come back and keep comming back and i hope that you do find some...
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jj
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3
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1065
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Help with Step 1
(Preview)
My A is my husband. My a's most recent rage was at my 7 year old son about a week ago. I tried to remain calm but he continued to berate my son and was looking for a fight, and I caved and gave it to him. Big Mistake, because I actually gave my control over...
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fittrip
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2
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1373
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anyone else funny about food?
(Preview)
i'm sorry if anyone thinks this in an inapropriate topic. after reading through some of your entries and getting a feel for the real crisies that are happening in your lives, i am once again humbled, and realize once again how very silly the crisies i create in my head really are. but i still make them int...
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ImplicitIsobel
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2
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1279
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Dry drunks
(Preview)
Hello everyone,
I have been searching for books on "dry drunks" with no luck. If anyone out there has some good leads on anything, it would be gladly accepted. I've been in alanon for about 6months now, and cannot imagine my life without it anymore :) THANK GOD FOR ALANON!
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bubz
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4
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1902
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Quote for Today
(Preview)
"The finish line isn't a given; it is earned" --from the back of a T-shirt at a sporting event.
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wallsal55
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0
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900
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Hello everyone.
(Preview)
We finally got moved and settled back in lovely San Antonio. I hope that all of you have been well, and I'll catch up on the posts.
Keeping each of you in my positive thoughts and prayers with great caring,
..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ ..·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ...·´ Diva-:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*
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Diva
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2
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987
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social skills
(Preview)
My A went to his bike repair class last night.
It was the last night of the class.
he missed 2 of the classes (out of 6) due to excessive drinking
He seemed down after the class.
He said that he tried to exchange phone numbers with some of the others and one ignored him as he said goodbye and anothe...
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megan
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8
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1118
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CRAZY LOVE
(Preview)
Even when codependents recognize the problem for what it is,,, they often make the mistake of trying to control their partners consumption----- the amount the alcoholic drinks or uses--while fighting desperately to keep the bottom from falling out from under the family.
They may count drinks,...
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gardengal
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3
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1130
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Richard and all.....
(Preview)
OH how I wish I could be where you are in your serenity with life Richard. I so admire it and I do have faith that it will come to me or I will come to it. For some reason it just isn't within my reach yet. I still don't feel life is fun and I don't feel a sense of peace with death either. I am like this scared l...
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cdb
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2
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1115
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Things I've learned
(Preview)
A friend sent this to me and I thought I would share it .............
I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned....That we should be glad God answers all prayers - however misguided they are Remember - NO is an answer.......
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tink
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3
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1144
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Dad out of hospital
(Preview)
Hello All!
Thanks to all of you who said prayers! One more thing for me to not be worried about now. The only thing is, the doctors' still don't know what happened to him, grrr. Only that he had two Life Crisis. That's easy for them to say. Oh well. He has already used his 9 lives up anyway. All I can do is tak...
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cdb
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4
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1161
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learning not to react
(Preview)
Sometimes I find it so difficult not to say things that I know deep in my heart will hurt my a, (when he is sober) it is just beyond me not to let him know just how boring it is to hear the same old story that he tells anyone who will listen , such as our sons not me because I have learned not to listen to the bottle I...
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Doreanmsloan
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5
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1889
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2/17 P.M. Meeting - Review of Steps
(Preview)
Tonight's Step/Tradition meeting is a review of all 12 Steps. I have to take my mother to a couple of doctor appointments today, and might be late getting back. Hopefully not, but just in case, wanted to post what step we were on tonight - the review of all 12 - and I'm sure if I'm not here on ti...
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kismetstrand
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0
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911
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LOVE & RECOVERY
(Preview)
Codependents usually dont want their relationships to fall apart, even tho in moments of anger they may talk about divorce or threaten to leave. And the most common reason they give for staying with a drinking or using partner is the simplest reason of all : LOVE>
And in the name of love, they hang...
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gardengal
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2
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1222
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Need Support
(Preview)
Just talked with my daughter and she asked if we were going to pay for her impact weekend that was ordered by the court. She has to complete that as well as get her GED in order to get off from probation. She is scheduled to get off probation in March. We have helped her with many of her co...
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kathykelly
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3
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1187
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