The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This reading says that no one can know what is in one's heart, soul, or mind, nor know how to meet another's needs, if we don't tell them. It is also unrealistic to expect any one person to be able to meet all of someone's needs. The author used some negative emotions like silently fuming, pouting, and talking non-stop, instead of clearly saying what they needed. They eventually learned that no one can read their mind, nor can they read the mind of a loved one.
Quote: I cannot expect anyone to help me unless I am willing to share that I need help.
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In my younger years, I can remember the frustration I felt when persons close to me didn't know how I felt and what I needed. I am much better at expressing myself since being in program. I think that fear, insecurity, and a damaged self, can also hinder good communication. Program has certainly helped me become a better functioning adult. :)
I think of the Serenity prayer, and finding that balance between what I have the power to change (in this case investing the energy into turning my internal thoughts and feelings into words for others to interact with), and then what others do with that communication which I do not.
Today I ask my higher power for strength and guidance to know the difference, and guide me with the strength I need to deal with grace when the results differ from my intent...
Grateful for the reminders
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
I am getting so much better at expressing myself to others and asking what I need and want or even think and feel. But most importantly I am getting so much better at knowing that it's perfectly ok to ask for help when I need it,share what I am thinking or feeling,etc.
Thank you for all shares. SunnyFrog, you've inspired me to reach out. I've been practicing avoidance. Many things I need to address require the help of others and my pride/ego have been barriers. Time to get into action and a good start is opening up.
