The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Early on, the member learned that abuse of any kind was unacceptable. Each of us have choices, and we can set limits, give ourselves guidelines, etc. But it took several years to realize that it was they who were still abusing themself. In this case it was verbal abuse--calling themself homely, thoughtless, lazy, stupid, etc. The writer now learned that it was important to treat ourselves like a valued friend. Otherwise, we stand in the way of our own recovery.
Reminder: I have been affected by a disease of attitudes. When I treat myself with love and approval, I know that I am recovering.
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This reading is part of my story. I was abused for years and learned to abuse myself. And like the member above, I have learned to stop other people from abusing me, and yes, I listen for any verbal jabs I give to myself and tell myself to knock it off! Part of my recovery is also telling myself when I do a good job, and at times I will pat myself on the shoulder. It's an amazing change, all thanks to this program. :)
I would be lying if I said I don't ever treat myself badly. Sometimes I still have such bad thoughts about myself, i am stupid,worthless,I deserve all the bad things in my life,etc. It's not as often as it used to be though,which I am so grateful for it's not.
I believe we first have to learn to be good to and love ourselves before we can expect others to be. How can I expect others to treat me with respect if I don't even have respect for myself?
I am a work in progress. Some days it seems like I am not making any progress at all but if I really think about it and look at the changes I have made, I know that I am and have.
