Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Alanoner · Alanoner

I think that is the wrong title, because this post is about ways to NOT have an addicted kid. Of course it in not foolproof, but each person that has tried it has been succesful with it. I can't take credit for it since my parents invented it, my siblings and I just followed their training that we knew work...

lmt123 · lmt123

(((((((Twinmom))))))) I just read your post from several days ago regarding your sons' birthday and your feelings towards your A and that situation . Sorry this is late, but here's a hug from me to ((((((((((you))))))))))! I hope your days have been better since then! Hang in there ~ I've been th...

cac · cac

Today I am in a good place and I should share so that someone else can find hope in my situation. My husband got released from rehab on Saturday morning. He has been to 5 meetings in 2 days. I am so proud of him. I am so hopeful. He is surrounding himself with people in the program. Today he is going to outpatie...

bob6502 · bob6502

These pictures were taken by a friend of mine when we went for a walk one day. I was thinking as I was doing my homework about all the possibilites that HP can create or has in store for us. Many things beyond our own limited imagination. Hp created this bird, something in my own limited imagination I would...

stillkickin · stillkickin

Being in Al-Anon has taught me a lot about faith. I have learned to rely on my HP to guide me, and to lead me in this life down the path that was set out before me. The path has been slowly appearing for me out of the fog of daily drama. And as I continue to walk it, I have been facing roadblocks. Some knock me down...

david62 · david62

Howdy (((((((yall)))))))) For all of those who responded to my "Patience Grasshopper" post thanks. You folks are the best. When I went to bed after I posted that on Friday night, I decided to get up the next morning and head into a meeting in San Antonio. No meetings where I am on Saturda...

aunitedway · aunitedway

Went for a ride on my Bicycle Today. Wonderful Ride. i will be feeling it tomorrow. lol. I DO want to say tooo ... i have enjoyed every burn I felt in my muscles and every bit of its been a joy. Ladies bike no speed dials..... just a set of good peddle brakes. nothing fancy. Definitely meet my needs. ...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Thanks for all the well wishes and thoughts! The spinal tap was not as bad as what I was imagining, I'm glad i faced it and hope it helps them figure this out. A couple days of laying flat and moving slow to avoid the headache getting worse and I should be as good as new. My doc made a comment beforehand that I m...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

ShelBell · ShelBell

There have been a few posts this week about anger and rather than reply on each thread, I thought I would start a new one. I have worked to deal with my anger towards my A and a lot of it has subsided, but I still harbor some resentment. So I was just listening to a speaker cd as I was driving today and I heard s...

Kim65 · Kim65

I'M A GRANDMA !! Fandango (Fanny) and Ariel were born at 4:30pm today in perfect health, and with no help from me whatsoever (OK, I helped dry them off and tugged one of Ariel's feet on the way out as she was coming breech). They are nursing on Mama and staggering all over. They are BOTH girls, which is a...

kissers · kissers

I started a new job over a month ago. Things at my new job did not feel right. There was something wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then I started noticing things. My boss told me to write a report for one of our clients. He gave me half the information and told me he would give me the other half. I sche...

maresie2 · maresie2

As long as I maintained some level of denial I could go on trusting the A. I did that despite his actions. I did that despite car crashes, tickets galore, no money and lies galore. Then I came here and heard my story over and over and I couldn't maintainthe denial anymore. The sad thing and probably the mo...

Alanoner · Alanoner

Hello Friends, I just had to share with you a heartwarming moment with my grown up children. My first introduction to Alanon was in graduate school as a friend of mine and I went to the movies to see "Stuart Saves His Family" which is about a character in several twelve step programs and how it...

tea2 · tea2

HaPpY BirThDaY Karilynn!!! With lots of love and wishes for today! PS. I recall you saying there are no calories in Birthday Cake

david62 · david62

Hi (((((Family))))) I wonder sometimes, when will I be through having to be patient. (I just saw my HP patiently shaking his head at me, I think He thinks it isn't nice to write to people while I am sitting on the pity pot! ) I was given the gift of a vision this last week. A vision meant to help me to be patie...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Yet another incident to accept. Last night I was walking around town with my umbrella in the rain, shopping before my nail appointment. It was so peaceful. Doing something for me! Well I got my nails done, got my toes done. On my way out of the nail salon, who do I see. My ex A b/f. He was standing in f...

ally · ally

SHADOW IS CELEBRATING HER BIRTHDAY TODAY (SAT) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO "MY MATE" HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...... Have a brilliant day hen....Wish I was with you... Love "your mate" Ally

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))) Can you all keep your fingers, legs, eye's, toes, and anything else you can cross......lol My new f2f meeting starts tomorrow night...Sat night.....I am feeling excited, nervous a wee bit....also proud of me... I am running it, and I feel good....arggg...

diamond · diamond

In reading some other posts...this phrase hit me and I decided to write it out to see how far I've come. "Being lonely vs. Being alone" After being married to an alcoholic for 17 years, I understand how you can 'be with' someone and yet still feel lonely. It took me a long time to grasp that c...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I think it was in one of the Getting Them Sober books that said moving the furniture has nothing to do with your marriage. We are afraid to move the furniture around thinking that means that the marriage is over. So, I have waited 2 years afraid that if I moved the furniture then my AHsober wo...

Maria123 · Maria123

I sooooooooo needed this email today and I hope it will make you smile and laugh out loud as it did me. ~Maria

kerry5 · kerry5

Newcomers meeting Tonight at 7pm est. Hope to see you there! kerry

debilyn · debilyn

i tried to make this stupid font bigger.... Ok ever since the AH was in that store with the not nice woman, and was mean to me, I have awful nightmares about him. Last one he was killing my loved ones in horrible ways. He would not hurt me becuz he loved me too much...?? i wake up feeling so hurt, broken dessim...

Rita G · Rita G

Sunday, 4/30 at 1:00 pm I will be sharing my story of recovery at the Legacy AA Group Anniversary Meeting, in Pasadena TX (near Houston). My dear MIP family, please keep me in your thoughts & prayers that I will as always share the message of HOPE that can be found in Al-Anon regardless of the situ...

Kim65 · Kim65

there's actually something that can be DONE!! My greatest fear (and not a realistic one, apparently) was that I was just screwed and deserved to lose everything because I was stupid and careless enough to put in with a person like my A. The negativity of that way of thinking is obvious now. I get caugh...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) I'm back.... I had a wonderful holiday.....It was a pilgrimage to Lourdes. I'm not really a religious person. I am a catholic, and I guess I have been trying to find the God of my understanding for my 3rd step.....And going on this holiday has been amazing for me. I h...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello Everyone, Thanks to a program designed to make this webpage the size of a billboard LOL I can visit once in a while during my 30 day trial. Along with the cool stickers for my keyboard that allow me to see what buttons I am pushing. I wish I could manage to get thru more of the posts,I have not found anyt...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Negativity Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns. Negative energy ca...

AllisonNurse · AllisonNurse

Hi, my name is Allison, and im new here, i started going to the al anon group meetings not too long ago and found it to be a haven, and the only thing that kept my sanity. Before, i was a total enabler, picking up my mothers peices, putting her to bed, taking her keys, listening and believing her sob stories...

pinky · pinky

Hi I am new here, I won't go through my long story I'm sure you all have heard it before. What I need help with is my kids, I have 1 that is acting out and 1 that holds it all in, I have been sober for 11 years and my husband went down hill 2 years ago, I want to leave but where do I go? but then he dangles that carrot i...

steppgirl · steppgirl

Tomorrow my A boyfriend has a race.. I'm going alone.. I haven't talk to him so I don't know if he will be there.. I love the races so I don't want to miss it.. I am being strong while we are seperated but I'm scared to see him.. We have lived together for a year and I made him move out 3 days ago because he isn't w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I think I have come a long way since first finding this board. I remember when I first moved out I thought my life was over, he was my life and I couldn't imagine it without him. I lost more than 1/2 the family income and had no idea how I would support three kids on my own. Here it is eight months later and I...

Becky1 · Becky1

Not exactly a step back, but stepping back from my AH. I have some extreme abandonment issues...this has caused me to hold too tightly to my AH. This past week, when we went for a week without talking, touching, or anything, I decided I was really going to have to change myself. So, I am distancing mys...

Christy · Christy

My sober AH sent me this joke in an email this morning. I'm glad he can find humor in his disease, I hope y'all can too. I thought it was way funny. A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standin...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, Can anyone suggest efective ways to deal with anger, or books on the subject. I seem to be being tested on this lately. thanks AM

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Just to catch anyone up, I got an email from my mother in law last Wed. saying my husband had been in a horrible car accident, punctured a lung etc. and was in the hospital somewhere but she didn't know where. Also, he had told her that he didn't want me to know. Finally, she got worried after not hearing f...

cac · cac

Yesterday I did some good work with Step 1 I admit that I am powerless over my husbands addiction and that my life has become unmanageable. I cannot control my husband. I cannot control what will happen when he comes home. I cannot control whether or not he drinks. I can control myself. I...

serendipity · serendipity

I have this best friend,we have been close on and off from middle school. But she went one way and I went another. I started a family with my a. I had what she wanted. But her life was good,traveling,following her dreams. She has always been one of those girl bitches, do you know what iI mean? But she loves m...

aisling_29 · aisling_29

I am livid, hurt, dissapointed and a whole gammet of emotions right now. And I am trying to work at my job with all of this going through my head. I have been married to the same guy for 7 yrs, together for a total of 10 yrs. and we have a 3yr. old son. I have been saying to him for a long time that I think his dri...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))), I take no credit for this post. Abbyal posted this about a year ago, and it was a saving grace to me. I asked her if I could repost it. She graciously consented. Thank you Abbyal. You rock! When someone asked me that question many years ago, I though she was nuts, and said what ki...

QOD · QOD

My AH has managed to wiggle his way back home over the few weeks. He was staying with his stepdad and I thought that was a good place for him to be. He was coming over to my house just about every evening after work. He was cheery and bending over backwards to please me. Sweet talk, hugs, kisses. He was h...

TLM · TLM

I am wanting to do some more studying and reading, and was hoping that you all could give me suggestions on books that you have found especially powerful in your journey. I have had 'How Alanon Works' and 'Courage to Change' for years, and both are excellent. I would just like to add to them. I am thinki...

cac · cac

My AH is in rehab. He has been there for 12 days now. They are probably going to release him on Saturday. I feel confused and a little upset. I don't feel like 2 weeks is enough. I know that he is getting antsy and wants to come home. His counselor says he is doing great and that he has the tools to remain...

sissy · sissy

My 18 nephew died last mother day. His B-day is Sat. I am really missing him . How do you celebrate the 1st year without them? So people are telling me that should pretend like it is another day. Actually it was one of the best day of my life. I would tell him that every year.

hersh · hersh

(((Everyone))) Isn't it amazing when you think you are okay, and everything is under control, and your deep-seeded anger comes back again? I was okay with sober A going to jail for his six month stint (he began last Friday night). I was calm about it, I did not freak out about being alone or the financia...

Maria123 · Maria123

((((((((Family))))))))))), Well I just got back from my concert ~ Martina, Little Big Town and Rodney Atkins. Wow it was amazing. So many beautiful (and sad at times) songs. Many of the lyrics remind me of program and of the beautiful people here helping me through my recovery. It's been a really to...

david62 · david62

Hi ((((((Family))))))) Just got home from the conference that my home group sponsors every year. This conference is my recovery birth-place and is very special to me.I worked very, very hard this year(I was the raffle chairman) selling tickets and had to get up on stage and give out the stuff.It was a...

shadow1 · shadow1

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEN ALLY!!! Sounds like your having the time of your life. So gald you decided to take that trip but I miss you loads here. Have a wonderful day hen!!!! Have some on me. Love ya Shad

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))))), I can't believe we have just one week left before hubby's surgery! Where did the time go? This time next week we will be getting ready to leave for the hospital. At times I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed. It seems like every time I cross something off the list, they send u...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Friends))) I knew it was coming, I could see my son (J)'s anger and fear about his father not being home right now. They know their Dad is sick because of drinking too much, but they truly cannot wrap their minds around everything that has happened because I've sheltered them from that. They know t...

Kim65 · Kim65

Thank HP I have Alanons to get excited with me over my baby steps!! I have a phone appt with a lawyer on Friday to begin taking care of protecting my assets. Like I said before, I don't WANT to do it, I must do it . . . it took hours yesterday to send a lame email to the law office, but today I told myself 'you can g...

simplyme · simplyme

This is not meant to be a snarky question. I am engaged to someone who has developed a problem since we met. I am having a hard time leaving, but when I read this board I see so much pain that I feel I can avoid. Why do you stay married to/ in a love relationship with your A? Thanks.

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I have been wondering about this. It seems that my A will go to any extent to convince me that things didn't happen WHEN WE WERE BOTH RIGHT THERE!! It is obvious to me that he mostly does this to avoid shedding an unpleasant light onto himself. He would rather have me believe that I am crazy than fess up to th...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone)))))) I have had so many people tell me that they got hypnotized to quit smoking that I have decided to give it a shot. What could it hurt, right? So if I come back on here sounding like a chicken or a duck.... you will know what happened. LOL Wouldn't it be nice to have a 12 step hypnotist?...

steppgirl · steppgirl

Well I'm going in circles with my a again.. I broke up with him finally.. I've been going to alanon meeting since Nov 2006.. I've learned alot about myself and the addiction.. Working the program is really hard but I haven't given up! I wish that I could say the same for him.. How do I hang on to the love I hav...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear (((((Roomies)))), I never thought it was my attitude that might be the problem... Growing up in A-home, I learned to really use my brain to try to figure out the situation--I was a smart kid and I read a lot of self-help as a kid trying to figure out how to help us all. The pattern I had was to read, read,...

aunitedway · aunitedway

once i got my self busy.... it became easier for me to Let Go and Let God. Felt better too as I learned in how to Let things Go. i can choose to begin the minute i realize (begin the steps to turn it over) and move forward from there. Always. i can choose to get into the right frame of mind. HP ca...

arty · arty

I thought my life was going forward when i kicked him out. we are in contact on a daily basis, partly coz we miss eachother and partly coz i want to hear his voice, coz when i hear him i know if he has been drinking or not. He tells me he isnt drinking and he knows he is to stay sober if we are going to ever try "...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	One way to deal with addict kids (Preview) I think that is the wrong title, because this post is about ways to NOT have an addicted kid. Of course it in not foolproof, but each person that has tried it has been succesful with it. I can't take credit for it since my parents invented it, my siblings and I just followed their training that we knew work...	Alanoner	25	926	Apr 30, 2007 by ShelBell
	to twinmom... (Preview) (((((((Twinmom))))))) I just read your post from several days ago regarding your sons' birthday and your feelings towards your A and that situation . Sorry this is late, but here's a hug from me to ((((((((((you))))))))))! I hope your days have been better since then! Hang in there ~ I've been th...	lmt123	1	361	Apr 30, 2007 by twinmom2
	HOPE!! (Preview) Today I am in a good place and I should share so that someone else can find hope in my situation. My husband got released from rehab on Saturday morning. He has been to 5 meetings in 2 days. I am so proud of him. I am so hopeful. He is surrounding himself with people in the program. Today he is going to outpatie...	cac	2	437	Apr 30, 2007 by annmarie
	Higher Powers imagination (Preview) These pictures were taken by a friend of mine when we went for a walk one day. I was thinking as I was doing my homework about all the possibilites that HP can create or has in store for us. Many things beyond our own limited imagination. Hp created this bird, something in my own limited imagination I would...	bob6502	6	848	Apr 30, 2007 by cac
	Faith (Preview) Being in Al-Anon has taught me a lot about faith. I have learned to rely on my HP to guide me, and to lead me in this life down the path that was set out before me. The path has been slowly appearing for me out of the fog of daily drama. And as I continue to walk it, I have been facing roadblocks. Some knock me down...	stillkickin	9	965	Apr 30, 2007 by Christy
	Got to open a couple of those presents! (Preview) Howdy (((((((yall)))))))) For all of those who responded to my "Patience Grasshopper" post thanks. You folks are the best. When I went to bed after I posted that on Friday night, I decided to get up the next morning and head into a meeting in San Antonio. No meetings where I am on Saturda...	david62	5	619	Apr 30, 2007 by Jerry F
	Butterflies & Bicycles (Preview) Went for a ride on my Bicycle Today. Wonderful Ride. i will be feeling it tomorrow. lol. I DO want to say tooo ... i have enjoyed every burn I felt in my muscles and every bit of its been a joy. Ladies bike no speed dials..... just a set of good peddle brakes. nothing fancy. Definitely meet my needs. ...	aunitedway	6	768	Apr 30, 2007 by Jerry F
	hurray the test is over (Preview) Thanks for all the well wishes and thoughts! The spinal tap was not as bad as what I was imagining, I'm glad i faced it and hope it helps them figure this out. A couple days of laying flat and moving slow to avoid the headache getting worse and I should be as good as new. My doc made a comment beforehand that I m...	Jennifer	3	440	Apr 30, 2007 by debilyn
	Anyone get this look from their mother? Anyone? (Preview)	Tiger2006	7	456	Apr 29, 2007 by stillkickin
	Anger and Hate (Preview) There have been a few posts this week about anger and rather than reply on each thread, I thought I would start a new one. I have worked to deal with my anger towards my A and a lot of it has subsided, but I still harbor some resentment. So I was just listening to a speaker cd as I was driving today and I heard s...	ShelBell	5	517	Apr 29, 2007 by maresie2
	I know this is an Alanon forum but . . . (Preview) I'M A GRANDMA !! Fandango (Fanny) and Ariel were born at 4:30pm today in perfect health, and with no help from me whatsoever (OK, I helped dry them off and tugged one of Ariel's feet on the way out as she was coming breech). They are nursing on Mama and staggering all over. They are BOTH girls, which is a...	Kim65	15	866	Apr 29, 2007 by RainyJamie
	Fighting a Losing Battle (Preview) I started a new job over a month ago. Things at my new job did not feel right. There was something wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then I started noticing things. My boss told me to write a report for one of our clients. He gave me half the information and told me he would give me the other half. I sche...	kissers	5	771	Apr 29, 2007 by kissers
	trust (Preview) As long as I maintained some level of denial I could go on trusting the A. I did that despite his actions. I did that despite car crashes, tickets galore, no money and lies galore. Then I came here and heard my story over and over and I couldn't maintainthe denial anymore. The sad thing and probably the mo...	maresie2	3	391	Apr 29, 2007 by maresie2
	Healing Breaktrhough from a surprising source (Preview) Hello Friends, I just had to share with you a heartwarming moment with my grown up children. My first introduction to Alanon was in graduate school as a friend of mine and I went to the movies to see "Stuart Saves His Family" which is about a character in several twelve step programs and how it...	Alanoner	8	610	Apr 29, 2007 by Moon
	BirThDaY Girl (Preview) HaPpY BirThDaY Karilynn!!! With lots of love and wishes for today! PS. I recall you saying there are no calories in Birthday Cake	tea2	17	528	Apr 28, 2007 by shadow1
	Patience Grasshopper! (Preview) Hi (((((Family))))) I wonder sometimes, when will I be through having to be patient. (I just saw my HP patiently shaking his head at me, I think He thinks it isn't nice to write to people while I am sitting on the pity pot! ) I was given the gift of a vision this last week. A vision meant to help me to be patie...	david62	8	623	Apr 28, 2007 by bubbles1990
	A tough view (Preview) Yet another incident to accept. Last night I was walking around town with my umbrella in the rain, shopping before my nail appointment. It was so peaceful. Doing something for me! Well I got my nails done, got my toes done. On my way out of the nail salon, who do I see. My ex A b/f. He was standing in f...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	10	595	Apr 28, 2007 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	SHADS IS THE BIRTHDAY GIRL..... (Preview) SHADOW IS CELEBRATING HER BIRTHDAY TODAY (SAT) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO "MY MATE" HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...... Have a brilliant day hen....Wish I was with you... Love "your mate" Ally	ally	14	1173	Apr 28, 2007 by wp
	NEED SOME COURAGE...LOL (Preview) (((((((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))) Can you all keep your fingers, legs, eye's, toes, and anything else you can cross......lol My new f2f meeting starts tomorrow night...Sat night.....I am feeling excited, nervous a wee bit....also proud of me... I am running it, and I feel good....arggg...	ally	6	439	Apr 28, 2007 by wp
	Being lonely vs. being alone (Preview) In reading some other posts...this phrase hit me and I decided to write it out to see how far I've come. "Being lonely vs. Being alone" After being married to an alcoholic for 17 years, I understand how you can 'be with' someone and yet still feel lonely. It took me a long time to grasp that c...	diamond	7	694	Apr 28, 2007 by maresie2
	Moved the TV.... (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I think it was in one of the Getting Them Sober books that said moving the furniture has nothing to do with your marriage. We are afraid to move the furniture around thinking that means that the marriage is over. So, I have waited 2 years afraid that if I moved the furniture then my AHsober wo...	nmike	3	491	Apr 28, 2007 by lmt123
	Through A Child's Eyes (Preview) I sooooooooo needed this email today and I hope it will make you smile and laugh out loud as it did me. ~Maria	Maria123	1	347	Apr 28, 2007 by lmt123
	New Comers Meeting (Preview) Newcomers meeting Tonight at 7pm est. Hope to see you there! kerry	kerry5	0	409	Apr 28, 2007 by kerry5
	nightmares (Preview) i tried to make this stupid font bigger.... Ok ever since the AH was in that store with the not nice woman, and was mean to me, I have awful nightmares about him. Last one he was killing my loved ones in horrible ways. He would not hurt me becuz he loved me too much...?? i wake up feeling so hurt, broken dessim...	debilyn	15	723	Apr 28, 2007 by carolena
	Anniversary Meeting @ Legacy AA Group (Preview) Sunday, 4/30 at 1:00 pm I will be sharing my story of recovery at the Legacy AA Group Anniversary Meeting, in Pasadena TX (near Houston). My dear MIP family, please keep me in your thoughts & prayers that I will as always share the message of HOPE that can be found in Al-Anon regardless of the situ...	Rita G	6	656	Apr 28, 2007 by carolena
	Spoke to the lawyer and . . . (Preview) there's actually something that can be DONE!! My greatest fear (and not a realistic one, apparently) was that I was just screwed and deserved to lose everything because I was stupid and careless enough to put in with a person like my A. The negativity of that way of thinking is obvious now. I get caugh...	Kim65	6	529	Apr 28, 2007 by carosie
	SPIRITUAL AWAKENING WITHIN AL-ANON (Preview) (((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) I'm back.... I had a wonderful holiday.....It was a pilgrimage to Lourdes. I'm not really a religious person. I am a catholic, and I guess I have been trying to find the God of my understanding for my 3rd step.....And going on this holiday has been amazing for me. I h...	ally	8	818	Apr 27, 2007 by Maria123
	I miss you all (Preview) Hello Everyone, Thanks to a program designed to make this webpage the size of a billboard LOL I can visit once in a while during my 30 day trial. Along with the cool stickers for my keyboard that allow me to see what buttons I am pushing. I wish I could manage to get thru more of the posts,I have not found anyt...	Jennifer	8	759	Apr 27, 2007 by Maria123
	I'm sure any of us that survived Catholic school can comiserate... (Preview)	Tiger2006	5	1106	Apr 27, 2007 by Gailey
	My denial cloud continues to lift... (Preview) Negativity Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns. Negative energy ca...	Tiger2006	3	554	Apr 27, 2007 by Rita G
	New here, and glad to be here (Preview) Hi, my name is Allison, and im new here, i started going to the al anon group meetings not too long ago and found it to be a haven, and the only thing that kept my sanity. Before, i was a total enabler, picking up my mothers peices, putting her to bed, taking her keys, listening and believing her sob stories...	AllisonNurse	7	724	Apr 27, 2007 by Friendofyours
	helping children understand (Preview) Hi I am new here, I won't go through my long story I'm sure you all have heard it before. What I need help with is my kids, I have 1 that is acting out and 1 that holds it all in, I have been sober for 11 years and my husband went down hill 2 years ago, I want to leave but where do I go? but then he dangles that carrot i...	pinky	5	506	Apr 27, 2007 by Friendofyours
	scared but strong (Preview) Tomorrow my A boyfriend has a race.. I'm going alone.. I haven't talk to him so I don't know if he will be there.. I love the races so I don't want to miss it.. I am being strong while we are seperated but I'm scared to see him.. We have lived together for a year and I made him move out 3 days ago because he isn't w...	steppgirl	4	547	Apr 27, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Taking care of everyone (Preview) I think I have come a long way since first finding this board. I remember when I first moved out I thought my life was over, he was my life and I couldn't imagine it without him. I lost more than 1/2 the family income and had no idea how I would support three kids on my own. Here it is eight months later and I...	carolinagirl	5	625	Apr 27, 2007 by ally
	Taking a Big Giant Step Back (Preview) Not exactly a step back, but stepping back from my AH. I have some extreme abandonment issues...this has caused me to hold too tightly to my AH. This past week, when we went for a week without talking, touching, or anything, I decided I was really going to have to change myself. So, I am distancing mys...	Becky1	6	744	Apr 27, 2007 by Karilynn
	A bit of humor (Preview) My sober AH sent me this joke in an email this morning. I'm glad he can find humor in his disease, I hope y'all can too. I thought it was way funny. A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standin...	Christy	10	701	Apr 27, 2007 by Karilynn
	I need help with anger (Preview) Hi everyone, Can anyone suggest efective ways to deal with anger, or books on the subject. I seem to be being tested on this lately. thanks AM	annmarie	10	614	Apr 27, 2007 by annmarie
	Found Husband - Update... (Preview) Just to catch anyone up, I got an email from my mother in law last Wed. saying my husband had been in a horrible car accident, punctured a lung etc. and was in the hospital somewhere but she didn't know where. Also, he had told her that he didn't want me to know. Finally, she got worried after not hearing f...	carolinagirl	12	649	Apr 26, 2007 by AndiLynn
	Step 1 (Preview) Yesterday I did some good work with Step 1 I admit that I am powerless over my husbands addiction and that my life has become unmanageable. I cannot control my husband. I cannot control what will happen when he comes home. I cannot control whether or not he drinks. I can control myself. I...	cac	2	377	Apr 26, 2007 by hersh
	Am I truly supposed to have no friends? (Preview) I have this best friend,we have been close on and off from middle school. But she went one way and I went another. I started a family with my a. I had what she wanted. But her life was good,traveling,following her dreams. She has always been one of those girl bitches, do you know what iI mean? But she loves m...	serendipity	6	646	Apr 26, 2007 by carolena
	Looking for advice/help or anything...(new here) (Preview) I am livid, hurt, dissapointed and a whole gammet of emotions right now. And I am trying to work at my job with all of this going through my head. I have been married to the same guy for 7 yrs, together for a total of 10 yrs. and we have a 3yr. old son. I have been saying to him for a long time that I think his dri...	aisling_29	8	651	Apr 26, 2007 by carosie
	Am I ready for sobriety????? (Preview) ((((((((Family))))), I take no credit for this post. Abbyal posted this about a year ago, and it was a saving grace to me. I asked her if I could repost it. She graciously consented. Thank you Abbyal. You rock! When someone asked me that question many years ago, I though she was nuts, and said what ki...	Karilynn	7	763	Apr 26, 2007 by babysteps
	Getting Stuck in that Same Ol' Rut (Preview) My AH has managed to wiggle his way back home over the few weeks. He was staying with his stepdad and I thought that was a good place for him to be. He was coming over to my house just about every evening after work. He was cheery and bending over backwards to please me. Sweet talk, hugs, kisses. He was h...	QOD	6	536	Apr 26, 2007 by QOD
	Need some good suggestions for reading material (Preview) I am wanting to do some more studying and reading, and was hoping that you all could give me suggestions on books that you have found especially powerful in your journey. I have had 'How Alanon Works' and 'Courage to Change' for years, and both are excellent. I would just like to add to them. I am thinki...	TLM	10	816	Apr 26, 2007 by TLM
	Only 2 weeks in rehab? (Preview) My AH is in rehab. He has been there for 12 days now. They are probably going to release him on Saturday. I feel confused and a little upset. I don't feel like 2 weeks is enough. I know that he is getting antsy and wants to come home. His counselor says he is doing great and that he has the tools to remain...	cac	10	653	Apr 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	How to Celberate an deceased 18 old b-day from drugs and Alochol (Preview) My 18 nephew died last mother day. His B-day is Sat. I am really missing him . How do you celebrate the 1st year without them? So people are telling me that should pretend like it is another day. Actually it was one of the best day of my life. I would tell him that every year.	sissy	6	497	Apr 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	Anger resurfaces.... (Preview) (((Everyone))) Isn't it amazing when you think you are okay, and everything is under control, and your deep-seeded anger comes back again? I was okay with sober A going to jail for his six month stint (he began last Friday night). I was calm about it, I did not freak out about being alone or the financia...	hersh	5	732	Apr 26, 2007 by annmarie
	Went to my concert tonight (Preview) ((((((((Family))))))))))), Well I just got back from my concert ~ Martina, Little Big Town and Rodney Atkins. Wow it was amazing. So many beautiful (and sad at times) songs. Many of the lyrics remind me of program and of the beautiful people here helping me through my recovery. It's been a really to...	Maria123	15	652	Apr 25, 2007 by wp
	Sitting around the Campfire (Preview) Hi ((((((Family))))))) Just got home from the conference that my home group sponsors every year. This conference is my recovery birth-place and is very special to me.I worked very, very hard this year(I was the raffle chairman) selling tickets and had to get up on stage and give out the stuff.It was a...	david62	6	650	Apr 25, 2007 by wp
	ONE OF OUR HENS IS HAVING A BIRTHDAY!!!!!! (Preview) HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEN ALLY!!! Sounds like your having the time of your life. So gald you decided to take that trip but I miss you loads here. Have a wonderful day hen!!!! Have some on me. Love ya Shad	shadow1	15	554	Apr 25, 2007 by wp
	One more week to go! (Preview) ((((((((Family))))))), I can't believe we have just one week left before hubby's surgery! Where did the time go? This time next week we will be getting ready to leave for the hospital. At times I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed. It seems like every time I cross something off the list, they send u...	Karilynn	12	597	Apr 25, 2007 by wp
	Had a heart to heart with my 4-year old last night (Preview) (((Friends))) I knew it was coming, I could see my son (J)'s anger and fear about his father not being home right now. They know their Dad is sick because of drinking too much, but they truly cannot wrap their minds around everything that has happened because I've sheltered them from that. They know t...	twinmom2	7	623	Apr 25, 2007 by Friendofyours
	I DID IT!!! (Preview) Thank HP I have Alanons to get excited with me over my baby steps!! I have a phone appt with a lawyer on Friday to begin taking care of protecting my assets. Like I said before, I don't WANT to do it, I must do it . . . it took hours yesterday to send a lame email to the law office, but today I told myself 'you can g...	Kim65	6	540	Apr 25, 2007 by Kim65
	Why do you stay? (Preview) This is not meant to be a snarky question. I am engaged to someone who has developed a problem since we met. I am having a hard time leaving, but when I read this board I see so much pain that I feel I can avoid. Why do you stay married to/ in a love relationship with your A? Thanks.	simplyme	20	865	Apr 25, 2007 by Karilynn
	Is denial a psychological condition? (Preview) I have been wondering about this. It seems that my A will go to any extent to convince me that things didn't happen WHEN WE WERE BOTH RIGHT THERE!! It is obvious to me that he mostly does this to avoid shedding an unpleasant light onto himself. He would rather have me believe that I am crazy than fess up to th...	RainyJamie	12	653	Apr 25, 2007 by RainyJamie
	I'm going to get hypnotized... LOL (Preview) ((((((Everyone)))))) I have had so many people tell me that they got hypnotized to quit smoking that I have decided to give it a shot. What could it hurt, right? So if I come back on here sounding like a chicken or a duck.... you will know what happened. LOL Wouldn't it be nice to have a 12 step hypnotist?...	rtexas	7	731	Apr 25, 2007 by QOD
	circles (Preview) Well I'm going in circles with my a again.. I broke up with him finally.. I've been going to alanon meeting since Nov 2006.. I've learned alot about myself and the addiction.. Working the program is really hard but I haven't given up! I wish that I could say the same for him.. How do I hang on to the love I hav...	steppgirl	2	485	Apr 25, 2007 by Rita G
	Changed Attitudes Can Lead to Recovery (Preview) Dear (((((Roomies)))), I never thought it was my attitude that might be the problem... Growing up in A-home, I learned to really use my brain to try to figure out the situation--I was a smart kid and I read a lot of self-help as a kid trying to figure out how to help us all. The pattern I had was to read, read,...	BlueCloud	4	513	Apr 25, 2007 by TLM
	once i got busy, i got better letting go also got easier. (Preview) once i got my self busy.... it became easier for me to Let Go and Let God. Felt better too as I learned in how to Let things Go. i can choose to begin the minute i realize (begin the steps to turn it over) and move forward from there. Always. i can choose to get into the right frame of mind. HP ca...	aunitedway	5	844	Apr 25, 2007 by tea2
	getting sucked back into it!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I thought my life was going forward when i kicked him out. we are in contact on a daily basis, partly coz we miss eachother and partly coz i want to hear his voice, coz when i hear him i know if he has been drinking or not. He tells me he isnt drinking and he knows he is to stay sober if we are going to ever try "...	arty	5	492	Apr 25, 2007 by Christy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.