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I have similar dreams, but he is hurting me in mine for example last week I dreamnt he stabbed be so many times that I needed 4000 stitches I woke up scared to look in the mirror because it felt so REAL . I am suprised that you don't understand the dreams (being a counsler) I think my dreams are from my past I did have boyfriends that used to use me as a punching bag, but I think the ones with my husband terrify me because he is alot bigger then me Hope that help a little?
I can certainly relate to having terrifying dreams. What has helped me is to talk about them with my therapist. The therapist has always had insights that have helped me tremendously in interpreting the dreams (often things I had overlooked or been puzzled by) and figured out what I need to do in the here and now to respond to the dream. Perhaps a visit with your A would help, but likely not (I would think). Regardless, the counselor can help you think this through and be there for more discussion if you do choose to see him.
Even counselor's can need counselor's sometimes :--)), please don't beat yourself up for needing help with this.
I had those dreams a lot, not exactly the same actions by my ex, but the same disturbing fact of dreaming about her. In fact, I had another one last week again. Most of mine revolve around me trying to understand why she wants to leave our marriage. I wake up distraught and sad all over again, and wanting to call her and talk to her. After a few minutes of prayer and giving my program time to kick in I know calling her would be even more pointless than going to the hardware store for bread....Hey they might be having a special!
Different program friends have given me different tools to use to try to combat these dreams. All of them revolve around my HP and reading or praying just before I go to sleep. The one that seems to work the best for me is simply praying that I get a restful nights sleep free of upsetting dreams and that any dreams I might have be peaceful, beautiful ones .
As to being a counselour and therefore you should know what to do.....well...if that were true none of us would need al-anon, would we? After all, aren't we all certified experts at running other peoples lives??? When it comes to our own however, we can't see the forest for the trees!
Have a great day, Debi, and I pray that you have a beautiful dream tonight, surrounded by your loving animals....hmmm....maybe with one of them (or is it Fabio!) giving you a soothing back rub as you lounge on your deck enjoying a warm afternoon drinking your favorite beverage!
Gosh - I hate that you are losing precious sleep time to these horrible dreams - how disturbing - not getting my proper rest sure can affect my serenity!!
Do dreams always have to "mean" something - I don't know - for me, not always - sometimes it is just my crazy brain working overtime - But then again, sometimes, it does mean that I have something that I may need to journal about or even put thru the steps. Of course, the suggestions of talking with a counselor/therapist is always good too, but I know with your busy schedule keeping up with the animals sometimes that may not be feasable.
I will join in with David, sending prayers from my HP to yours, that you will have beautiful dreams tonight and that you will be able to regain your inner peace about this situation.
Wishing you peace, Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
No, Debilyn, you are not crazy. I believe terrifying dreams can be triggered by many things including events in our lives. The subconscious mind is a tricky thing. I do hope you move past this quickly. Bad dreams, especially the ones which involve those we love, are awful things.
Always thinking of you with caring,
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
One of the things I do for my nightmares is I re write them. I write the night mare exactly as it happens--and then I re write the ending. When I was suffering through the rape night mares this was extremely helpful. I would go through right up until the moment when I would be raped; then I would write in, "Stop! I am bigger than you! I am stronger than you! I am not ashamed any more! I'll tell! I'll tell mom! And if she doesn't believe me, I'll call the police! I'll keep telling people till someone DOES believe me!" It took awile, understand. The first week was the worst. It was like my subconscious didn't believe me! Talk about selling an idea! But after that first week, where I kept rewriting the dreams, rewriting the night mares, acting out different endings with my sponsor and therapist, it stuck! All of the sudden, in my dreams, any time it was happening, all I would have to do would be give "the evil eye," or stand up really tall. One time, I even had my bitch sh*** kicker boots on and I said "I'll kick you so hard you can't hurt ANYONE EVER AGAIN!!!" Of course alot of journaling went with this. And ALOT of prayer. But I know you do that any way, so this is just a "line that goes without saying..."
My ex ah and I went to a pretty bad family therapist at one point in our marriage. But one of the things I took away from the sessions was that all of my dreams and the characters in them are manifestations of myself and my feelings. So, even when I drempt about my ah doing some horrible things to me or to those I loved I was told to think of him as a part of myself and see what issue my subconscious is trying to bring to my conscious mind. Now, this does not always help in relieveing the feelings I wake up with after having one of those dreams. I still cry, or am scared or angry. And maybe that is what my mind wants me to feel and acknowledge and deal with. I don't know, I have always had trouble sleeping. I try to create some wonderful fantasy before I fall asleep. After all, that time is all my own, no one distracting me, no one elses needs putting pressure on me. It is just me and my dreams.
I had a nightmare about my AH early last week. He has been sleeping on my couch and I was so scared from this nightmare, all I wanted to do was go lay w/him but couldn't move from my bed...thinking what a wuss I was being b/c in leaving my room (the room I was so scared to stay in), I would be leaving my 4 yo daughter there in the bed.....and if I was too scared to stay there, I sure as heck couldn't leave her there by herself. What kind of mother would I be? Silly what nightmares do to us.
I think I figured out what was at the root of mine though. It was about my AH & me and we were in a high swanky clinic getting artificially incementated (we'd had sex the week before and I had messed up my birthcontrol - I am scared of getting pregnant). All of a sudden the vast woods around this clinic were ablaze in a huge forest fire. So the entire clinic, lab facility place lowered down into this huge underground city to protect it and it's large number of scientific experiments from this fire. Well as soon as it did this, all of the people inside turned into demons (kind of like those vampire movies), doing all kinds of evil things to each other, eating anyone who is not a demon or is a weaker demon. I turned to my AH who was beginning to show demon like physical qualities and told him that I didn't completely trust him b/c he is part demon but that I had to pray that he would protect me from getting eaten by these other demons....that he wasn't 100% demon yet and there was some good left in him and he had to protect me. He said he would do whatever it took to make sure I made it out alive. (all of that part tells me that I am not ready to give up on my AH's good qualities yet, that I am scared to depend on him again due to being let down so many times but that part of me still believes he wants to protect me and he is just battling his own inner demons - addiction).
I told my AH about it but left out my interpretation. I was interested to see how he would interpret it himself. He did not offer any insight. But at least I was able to put a finger on my fears.
I hope this has helped in some weird way. Good luck to you in figuring yours out. Once you do, they will probably stop. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm not a doctor but I do know that dreams like these that are all the time are signs of anxiety. I would see your medical dr and let him know. You might be waking with panick attacks. Welcome to my world. Our dreams are a way for our thoughts to escape but for some reason you are not resolving a certain issue. You need to find a way to let go of what's bothering you. You need closure. Good luck sweetheart. Maybe going to a church and talking to people in a "smalll group" might help to bring goodness into your dreams. You need to find your sunshine. Lots of love.
Wow you all were so helpful. It also amazed me how this is something else the aism does to most of us.
Never dawned on me that it did.
Yep we are all certifiable....
You know I guess I was focusing on the A. I never used to dream about him in a bad way. never. It has only been since I saw him with her. It really did something to me. broke me.
I am ok though and doing lotsa stuff.
Anyway thank you, everyone one of you. I learned bunches. love,debilyn
I have had the same dream for years that my A has killed someone intentionally, not me or anyone I know. I have a pure Alanonic reaction to this dream that wakes me up...."What the hell am I going to do to FIX that??" A dream of pure powerlessness in the warped degree?? I don't know.
I hate you are having such vivid dream. I like to sleep with music, maybe that will bring you rest.
Oh Deb, I'm so sorry that you are still having a hard time with letting go. Maybe if you repeat to yourself over and over, "let go and let God". Really work on handing it over. In the meantime, I'll be praying for you, with love, and lots of TLC.
I am sure just seeing him triggered it. It's part of the grief process. Stress can also trigger lots of "ucky" feelings/things.
I hope this helps you. I simply say "God, my HP, please don't let me have any nightmares tonight." I can honestly say that I don't think that ever failed me.
love, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Hi, I haven't had nightmares lately but some dreams that I didn't want to have again. I've had lots of re-ocurring dreams in the past.
What helps me not to have re-occurring dreams is to record it in detail in my dream journal just as I remember it happening in the dream. I don't change the dream because if I ever feel the need to go back to counseling, I want to give the therapist of log of my dreams. I've been treated for PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) in the past.
Yes, these dysfunctional situations do cause disorders that manifest itself in dreams. The journaling stops the re-occurance for me. I also journal happy dreams, too. The happy dreams are the ones I hang on to while I let the "bad" ones go.
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