The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Welp.... this is a first for me. Went to my meeting today and the score was Guys 4 Girls 2.... I was blown away. I have been going there for over a year now and that is a first. Acturally the first time we had more than 3 guys at all. I am so easily entertained. LOL
I have been brooding over something... dreading I guess. You see my AW works for the school district, and she is off for the summer. For the past 6 years, each summer marks a new plateau in her disease. I just can't even dream of what the next plateau should look like.
If you think about it, it makes sense. In our program it is a stearn belief that "when we got busy, we got better". Well the opposite of getting busy, is staying home and piddling for 3 months.
Well.... school is out in 5 weeks. So I have started worrying and projecting and making plans for how bad this will be... do I warn the kids and try to prepare them... blah blah blah Made my head hurt.
But, I go to my meeting and there are 2 newbies and for what ever reason everyone just waited for me to grab the book and start reading so I opened the meeting.... and asked if we could take turns reading and sharing about the topic "worry" out of the index.
What a great meeting. I got such encouragement from the old and new alike and I got to work out my fear verbally. I am still aprehensive, but the tidal wave of anxiety has been knocked down to a drizzle. I can handle drizzle.
No amount of worry in the world has "helped" me do anything to date. I have decided to plan what I can for me and the kids... and the rest is just out of my hands. Just had to calm down long enough to think straight. Heck this might be the year of improvement... I have sucked at using my crystal ball to this point. Why would this be any different? LOL
I hope everyone is having the best day they know how....
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
You should write a book. You have a great way of speaking. A drizzle IS better then a tidal wave. I think your right about talking to the kids. I've always said that it is better that they know they have one stable parent and a safe haven for them to go to. Your a good man and a good dad. You will be ok.
What a cool post. It reminds me of a few years back, when I was fortunate enough to go to a large city (Vancouver) for a few successive weeks for work. I was able to find a "men only" Al-Anon meeting, and it was VERY good. I found it quite amazing, to see a group of 20-25 grown men, openly sharing feelings, fears, accomplishments, etc..... Just another of the miracles that this program gives to us all...
Thanks for sharing
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Your idea to "plan what you can for you and the kids, and the rest is out of your hands" just jumped out at me. I guess that's the way I've been living my whole life for the past number of years...for me and the kids, and whatever he does is out of my control. Guess I've come further than I realized. Thanks for sharing, and helping me come to a small realization.
I am a teacher myself and I have always hated the summer. My AH would be out drinking and I would be alone...sad and depressed. Summer wasn't something that I looked forward too. I can relate to what you are saying. In my situation I have some hope because my AH is recently out of rehab and sober. Now, this summer, I just have to let go and let God....and hopefully this summer will be different!
