The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I started a new job over a month ago. Things at my new job did not feel right. There was something wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then I started noticing things. My boss told me to write a report for one of our clients. He gave me half the information and told me he would give me the other half. I scheduled an appointment with the client. An hour before the appointment he is scrambling to enter his info. We get to the appointment and the report is wrong. There were 2 weeks from the beggining until the appointment. I've noticed he waits until the last minute. I like to get my work done in advance, so I'm not putting added pressure on myself. I've noticed he likes drama and thrives on it. I've also been told that he likes to drink and I think he is doing drugs because his eyes are red in the morning and he has cotton mouth. He has made insinuations that men go to the top, not women. He's trying to get me to bite. I just laugh and pretend it doesn't bother me. I'd really like to tell him what a lousy job he is doing running his business and that the only reason he is still in business is because of the good ole boys network that is in place. I've thought about having a talk with him, but there is no sense in talking to someone who has an addiction. It's like talking to a wall. He told me that I can't make more in sales than the guys because it would hurt their ego. I feel like screaming. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to cope in this situation? Should I keep quiet until I find another job? I feel like screaming!!!!!!!!!!!
It's tough when you are having to deal with the disease in the work place.
This is only my opinion, but if you are not coping with the situation at work, maybe if you can just do what you're there to do, or leave when you have found another job.
I have been a manager for a long time. Well, 15 years is a long time for me. LOL I thought about what I was going to say on this post and at first it was all about him... and what an ass he is.
When I started typing though... what does that matter? Let sum up him and get it out of the way. He's being an irresponsable ass and I would fire him on the spot for not taking responsability for his project. Ok... whew, that's done.
I'd rather ask, what do you need to do be happy and productive? Is this a large company with an HR department? Our HR policy tells our employees very bluntly that if someone you are working with (and especially for) is creating a hostile work environment that it should be reported to management, and if you get no response or resolution from that, go straight to HR.
If that doesn't work, there are state and federal agencies to help deal with it.
As far as getting your work done, if you are persistant about being proactive yourself, and keep a paper trail of delays on his part it will be obvious. Keep records on projects of when you asked for the information you needed to get your job done, and when that information was given to you. If you do this out in the open where he can see what you are doing it might prompt him to get off his butt and get you the info.
The quickest response to email is obtained by having it send a return reciept. LOL I work for a pretty big company. People use that to their advantage some times. So "Oh, I didn't get the email... " When they see that reciept sent back to me... I never get that response. ;)
I guess what I am getting at with this long drawn out message is, do what you have to in order to take care of you. If you decide that means going somewhere else... that's cool too, but remember... there are assholes everywhere, and searching for a job with a pristine work environment may be a heck of a search. Only you can decide when you find one you can accel in.
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
If he told you that then you should take him to the equal opportunity board and file a suit against that jerk. We just had a big issue with that on our news station here locally. If they can not help you then there is a labor and wage board who will do an extensive background search into his company and see what he's paying those "guys" and what he's paying you and you WILL get back pay. That's if you want to stand up for yourself and wake a sleeping dog. Up to you, I'm the "bitch" so I would do it just for principal. Get this.....I had to take a pastor of a private school down, along with the principal and the vice principal for sexual harrasment AT A CHRISTIAN SCHOOL!!! What???? Talk about a shocker. It's under investigation still but I woke up that sleeping dog and all three of them have lost their jobs and are out of that school! I guess others were being degrated as well or sexually harrassed. Can you tell I've read too many empowering books lately. No one defines who I am but me!!! By God, I won't take the crap. lol Good luck. I'm behind you.
so glad you posted. sending my prayers that HP/God show you answers to this delima. so sorry its happening to you. please also allow yourself to accept .. to know that this too shall pass. (i know ... right now you probably are thinking " I dont want to hear that!." But is True. ((((((((((((((((((((Kissers))))))))))))) this too shall pass let go and let god
sending more thoughts and prayers that you stay strong in your program take it one day at a time.
He has had another guy try to see if I bite through the fear of losing my job. I didn't bite at all. I acted like I didn't care one iota. He's trying to find my weakness, but he ain't gonna find it because HP told me that I will never go hungry or be homeless. They can throw everything they want at me, but it's not going to scare me one bit. I am going to start looking for another job. It is a very small company, so there is no HR department. There were red flags in the beginning. I knew there was something wrong, but needed a job at the time. I'm learning things I didn't know while I'm there so there is some good that will come out of it. I think he will flip when I do leave. I really believe he thinks I am not aware of what he is doing. He can say all the smug and arrogant things he wants to me. He can't hurt me by his words because I know who I am and what I deserve. Someone could stand in my face and call me every name in the book. It doesn't matter to me because I know who I am. However, if your behavior hurts my reputation as being true to my word then it's time for action. Thank you all so much for all your support. I really appreciate your kindness. I hope I am giving as much as I am receiving.
prayers 
that you stay strong in your program take it one day at a time. 