The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
AH was sober for 20 years and started drinking 2 years ago. In Feb I went to a lawyer to start divorce proceedings because I had to let go. AH then went into treatment and seemed to be doing well so I let him come back. Soon red flags started showing up all over. I kept asking him if I could help and he continued to lie to me. I finally searched his truck and found alcohol, condoms and a card from another woman. Our kids are 19 & 15 and support me. I've explained to them that dad loves us but is ill. I've told AH that we will still be a family but I can no longer be married to him. He tells me he will do anything, he's lonely without me. I'm so at peace now that he's gone. I can't make him happy. i know I will be lonely and money will be hard but it will be better than what has been the last 3 years with the lies. My counselor said, which I believe to be true, I could have lived with the alcoholism but the lies and cheating put me over. I hate this disease but I'm grateful for you and alanon.
Hate so much that you are dealing with so much pain. Glad that you are seeking help for yourself thru this board & your counselor. Please continue to take good care of yourself & remember the 3 C's
You didn't cause it You can't control it You can't cure it
All of his issues are about him - not about you.
Wishing you peace, Rita
__________________
No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
Don't be mad at yourself for staying longer then you probably should have. I think we have all done that. I just wanted to share my story. My ah and I have been married for seven years. Our children are 6,5,5. My ah went to Ireland with a male best friend and when he got home I found reciepts for condoms at the airport. I could NOT believe that he had bought them. I still have no proof that he used them. I did however make him go to the dr's and get me a clear medical report for STD's. I still married the man after he got another woman pg on a one night stand! Talk about a fool, I was a fool. But fast forward to the happy ending....I toughed it out and for now he is sober and working the programs and we have a great relationship. I know in my heart that I will end it if he cheats again. I am at a place in my life that I should have been at a long time ago. I have changed myself for the better and know without a shadow of a doubt that I can get better. So now that the ball is in my court, I'm not worried. I hope that you find this peace. It's his loss, it really is.
