The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm back.... I had a wonderful holiday.....It was a pilgrimage to Lourdes. I'm not really a religious person. I am a catholic, and I guess I have been trying to find the God of my understanding for my 3rd step.....And going on this holiday has been amazing for me.
I had a full week of being Lynn. I was laughing non stop, was happy, bubbly, talking (crap) to the locals..Getting my photo taken with anyone and everyone. I done things I would never have done before I joined Al-Anon.
First thing I agreed to do was go on holiday, I went on a plane for the first time in 36 years..I enjoyed it, I was high as a kite going, NO FEAR at all. I went in an elevator, an escalator (moving stairs), A cable car up the mountains...lol That was NOT me. I have been scared of all these things, and all of a sudden I had become a dare devil.....
Now I can look back and honestly say I think I had finally "let go and let god". I trusted my Higher Power to look after me up at 58000ft. And I got home safe.
I spent time with people on holiday. I also took time out for Lynn. Instead of giving to everyone else, I gave to her..I went out on my own, in a strange country, I got caught in a thunder storm (another fear). And I am serious when I tell you, I laughed at myself. There I was walking down a street, smiling at everyone, saying, "Bonjour", "merci", and "Byee"..lol And for the first time in my life I felt NORMAL...
My life has been like the merry go round we talk about in Al-anon. I let people places and things get me down. I spent time, worring about what I dont have, what I want, and what I need...
How about what I have NOW.... I am finding a belief in myself. I have special qualities that I have shown all my life, now Im only just seeing them. I always thought I was not as good as everyone else....I looked at people at the airport and I thought, Yep, I got good stuff. I got a brilliant nature towards people, I am caring, honest, trustworthy, reliable. I got a whole lot of love to give to people. But I also realised I can love myself too.
I have changed my appearance..lol.. People are noticing things im doing..And they like who I am becoming.
So my Holiday was a real awakening for me...I saw loads of sick people..And for the first time in months I had compassion for them. I realised I have not lost my caring personallity, that I thought I had.. I was even helping people, in the street again...
My aim now is to put my life in order....I have just turned 36...I am on the sick from my work.... I have choices to make in my life.
So what If I have lost the heart for my job.. I am very able to do anything I want to do...
So what If I'm in love with someone...And he doesnt or cant love me in the same way.....It's his loss....
So what If I get lonely, and scared sometimes....I got my Al-anon family to pull me through..
My new f2f group is starting on Saturday night and im excited...I have done all this on my own, with advice from an older member.... I had the confidence to arrange this. I feel proud of myself for doing it.....And I hope it is the sucess I know It can be...
Al-anon is a huge part of my daily life now.. I am so greatful I have it..I am greatful to the person who showed me the way to Al-Anon....This is MY life.... Time needs to move on for me. I need to make my mark in this world. And only I can do this..
Looking forward to the changes in my life....This time I'm holding back for no-one...I'm on the way up, and I plan to make my best shot in life...
Waken up and smell the coffee Ally....
Hope this inspires some people who feel like throwing in the towl, to just keep going....
Al-Anon is a long, long tunnel, but at the end IS.. A big, beautiful, world.. with loads of choices for us to make....Happiness can be ours...BUT we need to want it and make it happen..
Love you all, could not have gotten this far without you guys.
(((((((((((((ally))))))))))))))), what can I say to that except WOW and WHOOHOO!!!! I am more than proud of you! You are an inspiration. Do you know how many people spend a lifetime wanting to find what you have found at such a young age???? You have worked hard and you are making the most out of the life that your HP has blessed you with and are appreciating it!!! I am thrilled for you! I'm so happy to call you my friend, ally. You are the best!!
Ally...better than that you sound like you like (love) who you are becoming Coolest thing about this kind of journey is that all of the things that are changing for you were right there inside you all a long. So it's not like you are really changing but more that you are becoming all that you were meant to be. Isn't that awesome. I'm smiling for you and celebrating with you!
(((((((((((((Ally)))))))))))))) i am filled with joy. i feel so happy for you.. love love love that you did things you never thought you could. you overcame such fears as you did. its just awesome. you've expressed so lovingly, so beautifully visually.... an awakening from within your self. your like a beautiful flower. thank you for all your es&h. i love your posts and too your shares. You Go Girl!!! (((ally)) !work it work it!
Coolest thing about this kind of journey is that all of the things that are changing for you were right there inside you all a long. So it's not like you are really changing but more that you are becoming all that you were meant to be. Isn't that awesome. I'm smiling for you and celebrating with you!
love love love that you did things you never thought you could. you overcame such fears as you did. its just awesome. you've expressed so lovingly, so beautifully visually.... an awakening from within your self. your like a 
thank you for all your es&h. i love your posts and too your shares. You Go Girl!!! (((ally)) 
