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made one more attempt and failed
(Preview)
AH was sober for 20 years and started drinking 2 years ago. In Feb I went to a lawyer to start divorce proceedings because I had to let go. AH then went into treatment and seemed to be doing well so I let him come back. Soon red flags started showing up all over. I kept asking him if I could help and he continued...
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tryingtoheal
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3
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324
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Guys outnumbered the Girls
(Preview)
(((((Everyone))))) Welp.... this is a first for me. Went to my meeting today and the score was Guys 4 Girls 2.... I was blown away. I have been going there for over a year now and that is a first. Acturally the first time we had more than 3 guys at all. I am so easily entertained. LOL I have been brooding...
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rtexas
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5
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534
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Hurt help me
(Preview)
I can't even see straight. I don't even know if I can type. I can't stop sobbing. My mother (the bitch) just toloe me she saw my ex at the store with his new love. He was driving. They were grocery shopping. I hate him. how could he possibly move on?? I can't. i want to but i just can't. Heart is broken again. W...
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serendipity
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5
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403
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Children of Alcoholics Survey
(Preview)
Hello. I'm a college freshman at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, and I'm writing a paper on the effects of alcoholic parents on children. After growing up with an alcoholic mother myself, this is a topic of special interest for me. I've prepared a survey to help with my paper, and if any of you...
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tlallen
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7
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1333
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sad, confused, lonley
(Preview)
I am so lonley. This saddness is just not letting up. I guess I'm grieving the loss of my marriage. I made my ah my best friend. I had other friends, I do have other friends, I have the love and support of this program. But (heard that one comming didn't ya?) I miss him. I think that is crazy. But (there it is a...
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serendipity
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9
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514
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Isolation & functioning A
(Preview)
My A does not admit he has a problem b/c he never misses a day of work. We've been together for 14 yrs & slowly I've become more & more isolated. That's why I'm scared & anxious to go to an Alanon meeting this week. I have no family or friends for thousands of miles. I often do not leave the house f...
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hopefully
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5
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887
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don't know which is worse
(Preview)
Sometimes I wonder what would be worse: my A son never getting recovery or getting it and relapsing, like so many do, further down the road. I know it sounds rather crazy but at least I know what he is doing now....that would be drinking...so I don't have to wonder about it. I know, I know....I need to deta...
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Gailey
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6
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551
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FOR JOHN aka (OPSY)
(Preview)
((((((John)))))))) Whoever said Life was easy was lying....lol So your at the centre of attention again...You must be getting pretty fed up by now right...? I just would like to say.. I have been a member of your site for a year, I have been glad of the site for many reasons...... My Life was a complete ma...
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ally
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1
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425
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Risk taking
(Preview)
(((((Everyone))))) Whether you think you are or not.... if you are here - you are a risk taker. You took a risk at a better life by reaching out for help in this program. There are so many trials we go through together, and getting through to the other side is taking a risk. Could things acturally get w...
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rtexas
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4
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605
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The Company We Keep
(Preview)
It says a lot about us. When we become adults, most of us have a choice when it comes to our friends. We don't chose our family, but as adults we DO have the option as to which members of the family we spend time with... and which ones we avoid. I *do* believe in playing favorites when it comes to how people...
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barisax
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5
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552
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Disease Picks Up Where It Leaves Off
(Preview)
Two weeks ago my friend called me from the airport talking for an hour... so clear & happy to come home; telling me about all the transformations he wanted to undergo; talking about implementing changes to make the world a better place; excited about exploring meditation & meta-physic...
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kitty
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2
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434
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Feeling a little healthier
(Preview)
Hello (((Friends))) I feel like I'm settling into a routine in the house without my AH. The kids and I worked in the yard this weekend, we kept busy and it felt really good. There is still some struggle with the kids missing him and of course I miss him too. The boys and I have a counseling session sch...
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twinmom2
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7
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584
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a carolinagirl where are you only.
(Preview)
I know you are having a tough time, yet learning and progressing. how are you and the kiddos??? love,debilyn
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debilyn
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1
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257
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My worst fears
(Preview)
When I was contemplating leaving the A more than two years ago just before I came into Al anon my worst fear was what I am doing now. I felt that I would be going backwards living on my own, trying to squeeze my belongings into a small space, sharing and thought it would be hell. The issue for me of course it i...
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maresie2
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5
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467
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to John
(Preview)
Since I read all this rubbish about allegations against John, I have been very upset. Since I came her a year ago I have gotton so much help and much needed understanding from this board. If it wasn't for this help I would be in a bad state by now. It has helped me through so much, and aided me in my recovery....
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annmarie
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0
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376
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Letting go and Letting God
(Preview)
Letting GoTo "let go" does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone else.To "let go" is not to cut myself off. It's the realization that I can't control another.To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. ...
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java
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5
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790
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The denial cloud is lifting...and is that...sanity?!
(Preview)
I have been praying recently for God to relieve me of my insanity. To grant me the freedom that serenity and that the program offers. That comes with sanity. I've gotten tired of being angry, I said. I've gotten tired of being on the defense, of creating senarios for what my Mom "will most likel...
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Tiger2006
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3
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428
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Where I am at right now!
(Preview)
For weeks now my Ah has been distant and cold towrads me, I have tried to carry on and not let it get to me but in the end it always does, I have tried on many accasions to ask what was wrong, but he won't say, he doesn't talk to me about anything, I want closure it's killing me, living with this day after day, he t...
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Katy
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8
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510
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Projection
(Preview)
I started to talking to an old b/f... met him 3-4 yrs ago, after a few months freaked out w/ the situation as he is alcoholic, work-a-holic & has a dead marriage. I freaked out over being the home wrecker, the other woman, so I ended it. Last year was with him a scant 2 months. We did drink bottles of w...
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kitty
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4
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667
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The cracked pot
(Preview)
THE CRACKED POT An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung onthe ends of a p which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot ar...
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carosie
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5
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423
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Believe in Yourself
(Preview)
"BELIEVE IN YOURSELF" I came across this poem the other day and thought wow! I wanted to share it with you and some of my thoughts. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND IN YOUR DREAM THOUGH IMPOSSIBLE THINGS MAY SEEM. SOMDAY, SOMEHOW YOU'LL GET THROUGH TO THE GOAL YOU HAVE IN VIEW. MOUNTAINS FALL AND SEAS...
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java
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1
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356
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Lunch with my ex A b/f's mom
(Preview)
OK, I made arrangments to have lunch with my ex Á b/f's mom (her and I were and are very close despite her son breaking up with me) What a fabulous time I had!! Our lunch lasted almost 4 hours. We talked and talked and talked. She is by far one of the sweetest women I have ever met. It just amazes me that m...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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3
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472
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allys pic in france
(Preview)
trying to see if this will work on attachments of files -- Edited by belle1 at 17:10, 2007-04-24 -- Edited by belle1 at 17:21, 2007-04-24 -- Edited by belle1 at 17:25, 2007-04-24
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belle1
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7
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540
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What A Difference A Year Makes
(Preview)
I just went back and read all of my posts from the past year. Seems to me I was healthier last year than I am at this moment. I'm thinking that I had so much time to talk with my dad about life and what's important. Things felt so much clearer to me then. In this past year, letting my ex ah back into my life real...
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serendipity
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3
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529
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update
(Preview)
Thank you all for your prayers about jobs. I am still waiting to hear on one particular job that would help me out a great deal. If had that job I could make it out of the debt that's been generated by having to move. Right now I am going to have to go back to working minimum wage. I have not had good experien...
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maresie2
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4
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450
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Going out of town
(Preview)
I will out of town for a few days and won't have access to you all. I will be back Friday afternoon and will catch up with eveyone then. Have a great week!!!! Lots of love
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ShelBell
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1
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235
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hard to stay positive
(Preview)
I now have to go to court on Wednesday despite the fact I have moved out and been gone from the flat/apartment for 6 weeks. I have to do that in order to protect my credit/record in ever being able to rent again. Needless to say the A has not left the apartment yet. He's moved some of his stuff but not all of...
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maresie2
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8
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551
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Thank you for caring
(Preview)
I'm new to your site & have been reading your posts for about a week. I think I reached the end of my rope about a week ago & just reading your posts to each other & your kindness & caring has helped more than you can know. I got the phone #s of 2 alanon groups in my area & am going to call tom...
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hopefully
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10
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524
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Putting it in the hand of HP and the good doctors
(Preview)
(((((((Family)))), Good morning my sweet family. Well tomorrow is hubby's surgery. The closer it gets, the harder I have to try not to get uptight. I have to turn him over to the very good doctors and HP. Like the night I told him to leave when he was drinking I have to detach a bit. Hard not to know wha...
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Karilynn
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17
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596
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SIL Coming to Stay
(Preview)
My AH, who happens (thank HP) to be sober for the time being, is on his way to PA to pick up his sister. Yesterday she passed out drunk while home alone with her 15 mo. old daughter. When her husband called the police to find out what he should do they came to the house. She called this morning asking for help....
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babysteps
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4
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348
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One way to deal with addict kids
(Preview)
I think that is the wrong title, because this post is about ways to NOT have an addicted kid. Of course it in not foolproof, but each person that has tried it has been succesful with it. I can't take credit for it since my parents invented it, my siblings and I just followed their training that we knew work...
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Alanoner
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25
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836
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to twinmom...
(Preview)
(((((((Twinmom))))))) I just read your post from several days ago regarding your sons' birthday and your feelings towards your A and that situation . Sorry this is late, but here's a hug from me to ((((((((((you))))))))))! I hope your days have been better since then! Hang in there ~ I've been th...
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lmt123
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1
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279
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HOPE!!
(Preview)
Today I am in a good place and I should share so that someone else can find hope in my situation. My husband got released from rehab on Saturday morning. He has been to 5 meetings in 2 days. I am so proud of him. I am so hopeful. He is surrounding himself with people in the program. Today he is going to outpatie...
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cac
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2
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352
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Higher Powers imagination
(Preview)
These pictures were taken by a friend of mine when we went for a walk one day. I was thinking as I was doing my homework about all the possibilites that HP can create or has in store for us. Many things beyond our own limited imagination. Hp created this bird, something in my own limited imagination I would...
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bob6502
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6
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728
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Faith
(Preview)
Being in Al-Anon has taught me a lot about faith. I have learned to rely on my HP to guide me, and to lead me in this life down the path that was set out before me. The path has been slowly appearing for me out of the fog of daily drama. And as I continue to walk it, I have been facing roadblocks. Some knock me down...
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stillkickin
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9
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845
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Got to open a couple of those presents!
(Preview)
Howdy (((((((yall)))))))) For all of those who responded to my "Patience Grasshopper" post thanks. You folks are the best. When I went to bed after I posted that on Friday night, I decided to get up the next morning and head into a meeting in San Antonio. No meetings where I am on Saturda...
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david62
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5
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535
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Butterflies & Bicycles
(Preview)
Went for a ride on my Bicycle Today. Wonderful Ride. i will be feeling it tomorrow. lol. I DO want to say tooo ... i have enjoyed every burn I felt in my muscles and every bit of its been a joy. Ladies bike no speed dials..... just a set of good peddle brakes. nothing fancy. Definitely meet my needs. ...
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aunitedway
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6
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605
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hurray the test is over
(Preview)
Thanks for all the well wishes and thoughts! The spinal tap was not as bad as what I was imagining, I'm glad i faced it and hope it helps them figure this out. A couple days of laying flat and moving slow to avoid the headache getting worse and I should be as good as new. My doc made a comment beforehand that I m...
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Jennifer
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3
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360
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Anyone get this look from their mother? Anyone?
(Preview)
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Tiger2006
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7
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374
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Anger and Hate
(Preview)
There have been a few posts this week about anger and rather than reply on each thread, I thought I would start a new one. I have worked to deal with my anger towards my A and a lot of it has subsided, but I still harbor some resentment. So I was just listening to a speaker cd as I was driving today and I heard s...
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ShelBell
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5
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429
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I know this is an Alanon forum but . . .
(Preview)
I'M A GRANDMA !! Fandango (Fanny) and Ariel were born at 4:30pm today in perfect health, and with no help from me whatsoever (OK, I helped dry them off and tugged one of Ariel's feet on the way out as she was coming breech). They are nursing on Mama and staggering all over. They are BOTH girls, which is a...
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Kim65
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15
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789
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Fighting a Losing Battle
(Preview)
I started a new job over a month ago. Things at my new job did not feel right. There was something wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then I started noticing things. My boss told me to write a report for one of our clients. He gave me half the information and told me he would give me the other half. I sche...
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kissers
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5
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653
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trust
(Preview)
As long as I maintained some level of denial I could go on trusting the A. I did that despite his actions. I did that despite car crashes, tickets galore, no money and lies galore. Then I came here and heard my story over and over and I couldn't maintainthe denial anymore. The sad thing and probably the mo...
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maresie2
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3
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310
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Healing Breaktrhough from a surprising source
(Preview)
Hello Friends, I just had to share with you a heartwarming moment with my grown up children. My first introduction to Alanon was in graduate school as a friend of mine and I went to the movies to see "Stuart Saves His Family" which is about a character in several twelve step programs and how it...
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Alanoner
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8
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523
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BirThDaY Girl
(Preview)
HaPpY BirThDaY Karilynn!!! With lots of love and wishes for today! PS. I recall you saying there are no calories in Birthday Cake
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tea2
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17
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452
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Patience Grasshopper!
(Preview)
Hi (((((Family))))) I wonder sometimes, when will I be through having to be patient. (I just saw my HP patiently shaking his head at me, I think He thinks it isn't nice to write to people while I am sitting on the pity pot! ) I was given the gift of a vision this last week. A vision meant to help me to be patie...
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david62
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8
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529
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A tough view
(Preview)
Yet another incident to accept. Last night I was walking around town with my umbrella in the rain, shopping before my nail appointment. It was so peaceful. Doing something for me! Well I got my nails done, got my toes done. On my way out of the nail salon, who do I see. My ex A b/f. He was standing in f...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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10
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507
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SHADS IS THE BIRTHDAY GIRL.....
(Preview)
SHADOW IS CELEBRATING HER BIRTHDAY TODAY (SAT) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO "MY MATE" HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...... Have a brilliant day hen....Wish I was with you... Love "your mate" Ally
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ally
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14
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1093
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NEED SOME COURAGE...LOL
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))) Can you all keep your fingers, legs, eye's, toes, and anything else you can cross......lol My new f2f meeting starts tomorrow night...Sat night.....I am feeling excited, nervous a wee bit....also proud of me... I am running it, and I feel good....arggg...
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ally
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6
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360
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Being lonely vs. being alone
(Preview)
In reading some other posts...this phrase hit me and I decided to write it out to see how far I've come. "Being lonely vs. Being alone" After being married to an alcoholic for 17 years, I understand how you can 'be with' someone and yet still feel lonely. It took me a long time to grasp that c...
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diamond
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7
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605
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Moved the TV....
(Preview)
Hi Alanoners, I think it was in one of the Getting Them Sober books that said moving the furniture has nothing to do with your marriage. We are afraid to move the furniture around thinking that means that the marriage is over. So, I have waited 2 years afraid that if I moved the furniture then my AHsober wo...
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nmike
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3
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404
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Through A Child's Eyes
(Preview)
I sooooooooo needed this email today and I hope it will make you smile and laugh out loud as it did me. ~Maria
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Maria123
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1
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265
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New Comers Meeting
(Preview)
Newcomers meeting Tonight at 7pm est. Hope to see you there! kerry
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kerry5
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0
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323
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nightmares
(Preview)
i tried to make this stupid font bigger.... Ok ever since the AH was in that store with the not nice woman, and was mean to me, I have awful nightmares about him. Last one he was killing my loved ones in horrible ways. He would not hurt me becuz he loved me too much...?? i wake up feeling so hurt, broken dessim...
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debilyn
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15
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634
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Anniversary Meeting @ Legacy AA Group
(Preview)
Sunday, 4/30 at 1:00 pm I will be sharing my story of recovery at the Legacy AA Group Anniversary Meeting, in Pasadena TX (near Houston). My dear MIP family, please keep me in your thoughts & prayers that I will as always share the message of HOPE that can be found in Al-Anon regardless of the situ...
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Rita G
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6
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577
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Spoke to the lawyer and . . .
(Preview)
there's actually something that can be DONE!! My greatest fear (and not a realistic one, apparently) was that I was just screwed and deserved to lose everything because I was stupid and careless enough to put in with a person like my A. The negativity of that way of thinking is obvious now. I get caugh...
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Kim65
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6
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423
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SPIRITUAL AWAKENING WITHIN AL-ANON
(Preview)
(((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) I'm back.... I had a wonderful holiday.....It was a pilgrimage to Lourdes. I'm not really a religious person. I am a catholic, and I guess I have been trying to find the God of my understanding for my 3rd step.....And going on this holiday has been amazing for me. I h...
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ally
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8
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722
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I miss you all
(Preview)
Hello Everyone, Thanks to a program designed to make this webpage the size of a billboard LOL I can visit once in a while during my 30 day trial. Along with the cool stickers for my keyboard that allow me to see what buttons I am pushing. I wish I could manage to get thru more of the posts,I have not found anyt...
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Jennifer
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8
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667
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I'm sure any of us that survived Catholic school can comiserate...
(Preview)
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Tiger2006
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5
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1015
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My denial cloud continues to lift...
(Preview)
Negativity Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns. Negative energy ca...
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Tiger2006
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3
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444
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