Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - February 21 It took me a long time to admit that I had experienced some horrible things as a child growing up in a family affected by alcoholism. In Al-Anon I found a safe place to remember the past and to face it. As I began to accept the truth about my past by writing in my journ...

jemco518 · jemco518

I have been in Al-Anon now for over 5 years. I have seen and felt the most growth in the past 2 years and over the last 6 months have come to a much closer relationship with my HP and have learned to trust him and turn things over and actually not snatch them back! LOL. Until this week. I need to...

marmare · marmare

Well we received the results of my mom's core needle biopsy. It is cancer. Strangly enough she is a breast cancer survivor and it is breast cancer that has spread. She has informed us kids that she doesn't believe she will have surgery, she is not doing chemo either. She is 82...

izzymom · izzymom

We did the intervention on my son today and it was a success. He went in without any trouble. Now is the really tough part, hoping and praying it will work. Thank you for all your prayers, it makes me feel a little bit braver. This was the toughest thing I think I have ever...

sdisnie · sdisnie

If you all remember my past posts, you'll remember it's been a huge mess. Remember, my AH wanted a divorce and wanted to start his life over and live in Arizona away from us (Colorado), he had been out there working and had a relapse. He never came home, lost his job, went to a de...

SweetJill · SweetJill

I have a question-my friend wanted to make an account here and it wont let her-can you only use one name per computer per IP number? She was going to use my PC because she doesn't have one at home she could use.

Please let me know. Thanks Jill

Barbara · Barbara

For the past few years Ive had a very hardened NEGATIVE attitude towards everything - people, places, things, etc etc. How do I work on getting rid of this attitude and being more positive? At least to learn to keep my mouth shut! I would a happier person if I wasnt so Negative all the time. HELPPPPPPPP...

Barbara · Barbara

Every time I start this growing "stuff" I get to a point that I shut off. I get involved in learning about how I tick then put that wall back up. I only delve so far in and then I realize nonono cant do it, back away. I wrote journals sometimes as a kid but then they got found. How do you get yourself to really ope...

nycbt · nycbt

On Saturday on went with my guy friend to lunch. Then on Sunday went to the mall with my husband. Then later on that day my girlfriend called wanted to go to red loster. I said ok. I sent up the computer for the game for my husband. The girl the whole time was complaning about her the guy she was with. I waswi...

hudsond · hudsond

Well it has been a few days since I was on. I'm having a hard time--would love to be on here more, but the only time I get a chance to be on here is at work and then I'm afraid I get so caught up here I'm not doing my job! Any Way!!! The beginning of last week went very well. My a decided a week...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

my a had been on the wagon for a few weeks. then his father went away this weekend. i was there with him. he decided we should get some wine. he got two bottles. (used to get 4) and the next day got one. i could not have handled it worse. i didn't say anything, w...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, I hope this finds you all well. I have been reading a lot of your posts but I haven't been posting much, just an occasional reply. I have had a lot going round and round in my head and haven't really had anything usefull to say. It has been almost two months since my Father In Law has p...

nmike · nmike

This continues to be some wild ride with my A. I did make it to a lawyer last week. He said that marriage was a financial and responsibility legal agreeement. And my husband says that he doesn't want a marital relationship with me but is willing to share the finances. Talking to the lawyer was ironically...

Powerless · Powerless

They called me today and asked me if I wanted to attend my husband's bail bond arraignment and I said yes. They told me that if I wanted to talk to the judge to get there early. I got there about an hour early, which I did. The magistrate said he could not order drug treatment when I asked...

chris52 · chris52

Well,I got a phone call from AA.They said they have my A with them and they now want to come here to meet with me,so we can decide what to do.I asked "exactly WHO is coming,and was told my A wanted to come too." I said NO. I told them they can come and we can talk,but I don't wish to discuss this in front of my A. Th...

Sharon M · Sharon M

could someone please help me? I am new to this site - just found it this morning. I'd REALLY like to learn how to use this site for a meeting. By the way, what time zone is the 9 am meeting in?

NottaClu · NottaClu

In the last couple f2f alanon meetings I have been to, it was recommended to me that I try to attend an AA meeting or two. Its not the first time its been mentioned to me... my therapist had also said she thought I should attend some. One of my biggest problems with my A is that I think he i...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

This weekend I went out of town. It was great. I attended some f2f meeting, that were amazing. Pretty neat people there. When I came back the next night, they greeted me as if I had always been there, like apart of a close family. Many, many oldtimers. I went on a hike I...

koala · koala

Hi all, After being sober for 9 days,my A has been drinking again since last Thursday (one day after his pay day- sickness allowance)When he was sober and after going away on a binge for 4 days and sleeping in his car, I told him not to drink in my house and stay away when he is drunk. When I got back f...

Al · Al

its about time I addressed this, think I need some help. I've started going to the pub at lunch and drinking 2-4 pints just to take the edge off how bad I feel. Can't sleep during the week and shake big time, anyone give some advice?

Powerless · Powerless

This morning we both woke up in a good mood. I am not sure what happened but he became very cranky and I let it effect my mood. I became very cranky. We went out for breakfast and go into an argument. My son and I decided to wait in the car until he and my daughter finished eating.&n...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

Life Through My Eyes In my life I have only known nothing but lies In my own little world with my own little eyes Where there in no sadness and I can hear no cries I am sad but cannot cry My tears have long been dry I cannot fill a heart that was never whole I also am dead inside And hav...

Emafer · Emafer

Lately, I feel like I'm constantly appologizing. I feel like I go into something with very clear and kind intentions and then somehow things get twisted into me being a bad guy. And I end up appologizing for it. And it's wearing me out. I mean, where do I go wrong? And I also feel like I'm so often misunders...

maresie · maresie

I started seeing a new counselor. I am not sure if she can help or not but I have a plan b if she does not help (I must say I never had a plan b in my life before so i am very very grateful for this program). I am working on some issues from my adolescence that really have haunted me for a long long time that ca...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

A.A. Thought for the Day Liquor used to be my friend. I used to have a lot of fun drinking. Practically all the fun I had was connected with drinking. But the time came when liquor became my enemy. I don't know just when liquor turned against me and became my enemy, but I know it happened, because I bega...

penny · penny

Thanks to all who replied I will take on board the advice and learn as much as I can. I am not experienced enough or confident enough to respond to others postings, I would probably say the wrong thing and make you all feel worse (if thats possible). Having said that it does not...

penny · penny

Where did I go wrong....... On Friday morning my A who has been sober for 5 weeks and in a pretty good frame of mind started an almighty row. I could'nt find the keys and he heard me cursing under my breath that was the start of it, I was'nt cursing him just muttering wheres the sodding keys. I t...

lin0606 · lin0606

I got some bad news today - my daughter (14) came to me with a couple of her friends. They were worried and upset - another of their friends had told them that her cousin had raped her last week. One of the friends had told her mother, a couple of days ago, who phoned the girl's mother to tell her about it, She w...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - February 18 As I began writing my Eighth Step list -- the persons I had harmed -- many wise Al-Anon members suggested I put my own name on it. The coping behaviors I had developed as a child had helped me survive the chaos in my alcoholic home. However, these behaviors...

mastiff · mastiff

hiya all, i woke up early this morning, looking forward to chairing the Spirituality Meeting this am. I sat up out of bed, streched my sleepy arms up, bend my head from side to side and open my eyes to see about a foot of snow outside! I know for some of you that's no biggi, but for us here, tha...

Cyn · Cyn

I was sitting here thinking how much my A has affected me without me even realizing it over the last 8 years of my life. We werent together for all 8 years - but the up and down rollercoaster of "I want to be with you - I cant be with you - I love you - I cant love you - etc etc etc" affected me more than I ever k...

chris52 · chris52

It's been a very tough week. Last night my friends Bill and Pam ( who helped to keep me safe this week) came up to check I was ok and Pam gave me this. I thought I could share it with you all; I asked God to take away my habit.. He said "No,it is not for me to take away,but for you to give up" I asked God to make...

papa brunsk · papa brunsk

My A has been letting the girls down large lately.Broken promises day after day.There still at the whys They come to me for answers that I dont have.Its so tough living with active A and 3 teenage girls in a rural area.Some days I think I should take girls and go.But would them come with me.Cant leave them...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello Everyone, I need a little help here. I feel I am doing well following my program, and learning how to cope with my resentments and fears. Except I continue to be stuck on this same resntment. I collected music, every kind style form etc. Last year in the worst part of my A's relapse/...

MFran · MFran

I am still rather new to this program. I have been going to the on line chat and the on line meetings and have gone to one f2f. However, I am struggling with loneliness and would really appreciate some feedback from you all. Over the years I have managed to lose all of my friends.&nb...

maresie · maresie

Last weekend I had a huge row with the a. The whole weekend was ruined. He was his usual obnoxious self. This week I practiced and practiced not talking to him when he was in the disease. I was greatly helped by a member of this program who took time out to talk to me about talking to the disease. ...

izzymom · izzymom

Well, today is day two of intervention. We meet today to rehearse our letters and fine tune the procedure. Tomorrow morning we do it. I am getting nervous again. I was okay yesterday with the group but have doubts when I am alone. I am trying to be strong for my son, i know he nee...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Right now I am trying to save my 14 yr old son from this god awful disease. I see so many things in him of his dad. Some good and some scare the hell out of me. Right now he is so very angry at all the stuff he has been thru, and who could blame him. He is unfortunately taking is anger out the the wrong ways: at schoo...

Lani · Lani

Release, Relieve and Rest the pressure cooker inside YOU! "Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. T...

debilyn · debilyn

It is very cold right now in Oregon. We are not used to this. Blue sky and weather in the teens or less. ground is super hard. meaning no mud at least. This morn the water is off. Yesterday there was water blowing out of the pressure thingy on the well. I had to call A. I mean you would think me up here w...

leo · leo

This afternoon my husband rang around 4.00pm and asked would I like to go up to the yacht club for a meal with friends as he had to discuss our aligning block of land with them. I said yes - what time he replied 6.00pm will be home shortly. At 5.40pm I rang and said what are you doing? He sa...

megan · megan

I am getting a divorce. I am married for 14 years to an abusive alcoholic. In May 2005 I had enough I hit MY BOTTOM and I left. In August I filed for divorce. Court mediation is 4/05/2006. Yesterday my lawyer sent me a letter from my husbands attorney saying they would value my pension. ...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

My day has sucked today. I got yelled at at work for a truly minor infraction (a typo in the subject of an email. So shoot me.) Then I talked to my 'a' boyfriend. Bear in mind that we do have a great relationship. I love him with all my heart and he is my best friend. We...

MFran · MFran

Hi, I am still new to this, but need to get something off my chest. My adult daughter A is in rehab. She is allowed visitors between certain hours. It is very hard for me to get there after work so I went every other day last week. Of course, weekends are easiest. She calls...

chris52 · chris52

I got NO sleep last night. The brain just won't shut down...I guess that's pretty "normal"? after the week I've had.

I'm So grateful for all the love and support my family here have given me.And the cyber hugs are great. I so need a real hug today...and there's no-one to give me one.This morning I go...

mebjk · mebjk

I am having some tough decisions to make. I ask for your prayers. I am going to a meeting tomorrow that could decide my work life for a long time to come. When I get up in the morning I'll pray and remind myself that my hp is already holding me, and guiding my day. But I am so nervous. Some of the anxiety I have be...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i have been slugging around lately and i feel like all i do is complain and worry. so the past few days i have decided to let go of it. there's nothing i can do or say to make my dad change. i don't deserve to be unhappy. thinking of him, what he is doing to himself and us makes me sad and unhappy. i am tryin...

Powerless · Powerless

I absolutely can't take anymore...just for today. Yesterday my husband called home several times and complained about everything under the sun. Then he let lose with "Well, why should I be in a good mood? Every Friday I have to come home and give you my paycheck like a child."&nbs...

chris52 · chris52

The last week has been the worst time for me....The only thing that has given me any hope has been the love and support from my friends and you very special people here. I got an reading from some horoscope thingy I check out occasionally when I can't find anything better to do...(doesn't h...

carla036 · carla036

Morning Family~ I just re discovered this board the last few days, and I am so grateful for each and every one of you. It is through this program that I found peace and serenity, and a new way of life. However, like anything it truly is a choice. I feel as good or bad as I choose to feel. Nothing good com...

New Member Here · Sondee

I am married to an alcoholic. This is my second marriage to an addict. I struggle constantly with the notion of leaving, but financially that just isn't feasible. He is not physically abusive. Every day he starts drinking as soon as he gets home from work; he stops when he passes out late in the night. If...

sparkette · sparkette

I had been pretty excited about my upcoming 1 year Alanon birthday for the last few weeks. I really am a cake celebrating kind of gal - so any reason for a cake is always good for me :0) We have a wonderful Alanon speakers meeting every month in our area that gives out chips for Alanon recovery. I was all exci...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I sat down and told my kids we are moving last night. That I am seperating from my husband. They didn't understand why. I guess I did a good job of not fighting in front of them andsheltering them from his drinking. All they were aware of was the problems with his daughter. An...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

the past few days my a has been phoning me and treating me good. i was confused so today i spoke with him and asked him exactly what his motives were. i wanted to know if we were speaking and are working things out or if he is just trying to keep a hold on me. i want him to come home if he would be willing to go back t...

rtexas · rtexas

Well our daily conversation has become ... ... if you can't make me happy we may as well break it off. Best I can offer her is, that I am trying to keep myself sane and that may not include keeping her entertained. "I love you but you have a drinking problem that you are not ready to d...

Sondee · Sondee

I had no idea before reading the messages on this board how unoriginal my As are (ex husband and current husband). Wow! It's the same ugly face everywhere, the very same. There's no originality. (It's not even unique that I married two of them.) This realization is a breakthrough for me. It's like alco...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

I wonder sometimes if I should go to an Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting. My a is my boyfriend, but my father was one too. (And a Freudian psychologist. The irony is painful.) The thing is, my a is trying to get sober, slipping here and there. But I never thought of m...

2D1S · 2D1S

Someone tell me about "boundaries"....Is there a specific alanon book that discusses them? Any info. would be great to help me learn more. -2D1S

new member · papa brunsk

Just wanted to introduce my self I am a 47 yr old father of 3 girls.My wife of 21 yrs has been battling with alcholism for the past 10 yrs.I spent some time today in the chat room and am looking forward to my first meeting the people I met were fantastic.hope to chat again soon

rtexas · rtexas

A cut her drinking from 12-14 beers a day to 7 or so and asks me "are you happy"? I told her I'm not counting any more. 7, 12 or 20... her irrational behavior is the same, so it doesn't matter to me. A decided to have dinner at my folks for a send off diner for my brother.&...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	taking care of OLD business (Preview) Hope for Today - February 21 It took me a long time to admit that I had experienced some horrible things as a child growing up in a family affected by alcoholism. In Al-Anon I found a safe place to remember the past and to face it. As I began to accept the truth about my past by writing in my journ...	rosie light shines	1	330	Feb 22, 2006 by just me
	Feelings hurt (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon now for over 5 years. I have seen and felt the most growth in the past 2 years and over the last 6 months have come to a much closer relationship with my HP and have learned to trust him and turn things over and actually not snatch them back! LOL. Until this week. I need to...	jemco518	4	516	Feb 21, 2006 by Lunamoth
	My mom's tests (Preview) Well we received the results of my mom's core needle biopsy. It is cancer. Strangly enough she is a breast cancer survivor and it is breast cancer that has spread. She has informed us kids that she doesn't believe she will have surgery, she is not doing chemo either. She is 82...	marmare	5	853	Feb 21, 2006 by Kim
	intervention success! (Preview) We did the intervention on my son today and it was a success. He went in without any trouble. Now is the really tough part, hoping and praying it will work. Thank you for all your prayers, it makes me feel a little bit braver. This was the toughest thing I think I have ever...	izzymom	7	510	Feb 21, 2006 by izzymom
	What do I think/do about this? (Preview) If you all remember my past posts, you'll remember it's been a huge mess. Remember, my AH wanted a divorce and wanted to start his life over and live in Arizona away from us (Colorado), he had been out there working and had a relapse. He never came home, lost his job, went to a de...	sdisnie	4	346	Feb 21, 2006 by Hopefloats
	A quick question (Preview) I have a question-my friend wanted to make an account here and it wont let her-can you only use one name per computer per IP number? She was going to use my PC because she doesn't have one at home she could use. Please let me know. Thanks Jill	SweetJill	4	567	Feb 21, 2006 by Sparrow11
	Negative negative - how do you get rid of a hardened negative attitude? (Preview) For the past few years Ive had a very hardened NEGATIVE attitude towards everything - people, places, things, etc etc. How do I work on getting rid of this attitude and being more positive? At least to learn to keep my mouth shut! I would a happier person if I wasnt so Negative all the time. HELPPPPPPPP...	Barbara	5	386	Feb 21, 2006 by paintthinnr
	How do you break down that wall to let yourself grow? (Preview) Every time I start this growing "stuff" I get to a point that I shut off. I get involved in learning about how I tick then put that wall back up. I only delve so far in and then I realize nonono cant do it, back away. I wrote journals sometimes as a kid but then they got found. How do you get yourself to really ope...	Barbara	2	327	Feb 21, 2006 by lin0606
	my weekend (Preview) On Saturday on went with my guy friend to lunch. Then on Sunday went to the mall with my husband. Then later on that day my girlfriend called wanted to go to red loster. I said ok. I sent up the computer for the game for my husband. The girl the whole time was complaning about her the guy she was with. I waswi...	nycbt	2	316	Feb 21, 2006 by hudsond
	been a few days (Preview) Well it has been a few days since I was on. I'm having a hard time--would love to be on here more, but the only time I get a chance to be on here is at work and then I'm afraid I get so caught up here I'm not doing my job! Any Way!!! The beginning of last week went very well. My a decided a week...	hudsond	5	599	Feb 21, 2006 by hudsond
	not again... (Preview) my a had been on the wagon for a few weeks. then his father went away this weekend. i was there with him. he decided we should get some wine. he got two bottles. (used to get 4) and the next day got one. i could not have handled it worse. i didn't say anything, w...	paintthinnr	4	386	Feb 21, 2006 by paintthinnr
	update (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope this finds you all well. I have been reading a lot of your posts but I haven't been posting much, just an occasional reply. I have had a lot going round and round in my head and haven't really had anything usefull to say. It has been almost two months since my Father In Law has p...	Jeannie	5	478	Feb 21, 2006 by Jeannie
	Reacting once again (Preview) This continues to be some wild ride with my A. I did make it to a lawyer last week. He said that marriage was a financial and responsibility legal agreeement. And my husband says that he doesn't want a marital relationship with me but is willing to share the finances. Talking to the lawyer was ironically...	nmike	2	394	Feb 21, 2006 by Becky1
	They let him out of jail (Preview) They called me today and asked me if I wanted to attend my husband's bail bond arraignment and I said yes. They told me that if I wanted to talk to the judge to get there early. I got there about an hour early, which I did. The magistrate said he could not order drug treatment when I asked...	Powerless	5	407	Feb 21, 2006 by Lindy
	I just met with AA (Preview) Well,I got a phone call from AA.They said they have my A with them and they now want to come here to meet with me,so we can decide what to do.I asked "exactly WHO is coming,and was told my A wanted to come too." I said NO. I told them they can come and we can talk,but I don't wish to discuss this in front of my A. Th...	chris52	12	507	Feb 21, 2006 by Lindy
	Help! I need a meeting!! (Preview) could someone please help me? I am new to this site - just found it this morning. I'd REALLY like to learn how to use this site for a meeting. By the way, what time zone is the 9 am meeting in?	Sharon M	2	357	Feb 21, 2006 by Christy
	Went to an AA meeting..... (Preview) In the last couple f2f alanon meetings I have been to, it was recommended to me that I try to attend an AA meeting or two. Its not the first time its been mentioned to me... my therapist had also said she thought I should attend some. One of my biggest problems with my A is that I think he i...	NottaClu	4	490	Feb 21, 2006 by lin0606
	Such a great weekend (Preview) This weekend I went out of town. It was great. I attended some f2f meeting, that were amazing. Pretty neat people there. When I came back the next night, they greeted me as if I had always been there, like apart of a close family. Many, many oldtimers. I went on a hike I...	ZiggyDoodles	2	371	Feb 21, 2006 by sandie123
	life has truely become unmanageable (Preview) Hi all, After being sober for 9 days,my A has been drinking again since last Thursday (one day after his pay day- sickness allowance)When he was sober and after going away on a binge for 4 days and sleeping in his car, I told him not to drink in my house and stay away when he is drunk. When I got back f...	koala	8	513	Feb 21, 2006 by koala
	Right... (Preview) its about time I addressed this, think I need some help. I've started going to the pub at lunch and drinking 2-4 pints just to take the edge off how bad I feel. Can't sleep during the week and shake big time, anyone give some advice?	Al	4	514	Feb 21, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	My husband is in jail (Preview) This morning we both woke up in a good mood. I am not sure what happened but he became very cranky and I let it effect my mood. I became very cranky. We went out for breakfast and go into an argument. My son and I decided to wait in the car until he and my daughter finished eating.&n...	Powerless	12	586	Feb 20, 2006 by Jeannie
	LIFE THROUGH MY EYES (Preview) Life Through My Eyes In my life I have only known nothing but lies In my own little world with my own little eyes Where there in no sadness and I can hear no cries I am sad but cannot cry My tears have long been dry I cannot fill a heart that was never whole I also am dead inside And hav...	Lauren ashley	5	448	Feb 20, 2006 by Flora123
	Constantly Appologizing? (Preview) Lately, I feel like I'm constantly appologizing. I feel like I go into something with very clear and kind intentions and then somehow things get twisted into me being a bad guy. And I end up appologizing for it. And it's wearing me out. I mean, where do I go wrong? And I also feel like I'm so often misunders...	Emafer	4	444	Feb 20, 2006 by Emafer
	grieving /surrender (Preview) I started seeing a new counselor. I am not sure if she can help or not but I have a plan b if she does not help (I must say I never had a plan b in my life before so i am very very grateful for this program). I am working on some issues from my adolescence that really have haunted me for a long long time that ca...	maresie	4	482	Feb 20, 2006 by mebjk
	is cooperation good enough?? (Preview) A.A. Thought for the Day Liquor used to be my friend. I used to have a lot of fun drinking. Practically all the fun I had was connected with drinking. But the time came when liquor became my enemy. I don't know just when liquor turned against me and became my enemy, but I know it happened, because I bega...	rosie light shines	1	470	Feb 20, 2006 by bobump
	Thank you (Preview) Thanks to all who replied I will take on board the advice and learn as much as I can. I am not experienced enough or confident enough to respond to others postings, I would probably say the wrong thing and make you all feel worse (if thats possible). Having said that it does not...	penny	2	440	Feb 20, 2006 by bobump
	Where did I go wrong (Preview) Where did I go wrong....... On Friday morning my A who has been sober for 5 weeks and in a pretty good frame of mind started an almighty row. I could'nt find the keys and he heard me cursing under my breath that was the start of it, I was'nt cursing him just muttering wheres the sodding keys. I t...	penny	5	475	Feb 20, 2006 by abbyal
	Doing the right thing? (Preview) I got some bad news today - my daughter (14) came to me with a couple of her friends. They were worried and upset - another of their friends had told them that her cousin had raped her last week. One of the friends had told her mother, a couple of days ago, who phoned the girl's mother to tell her about it, She w...	lin0606	7	403	Feb 20, 2006 by lin0606
	putting ME too on my step 8 list (Preview) Hope for Today - February 18 As I began writing my Eighth Step list -- the persons I had harmed -- many wise Al-Anon members suggested I put my own name on it. The coping behaviors I had developed as a child had helped me survive the chaos in my alcoholic home. However, these behaviors...	rosie light shines	4	453	Feb 20, 2006 by maresie
	snowed in and out but ty hp for it (Preview) hiya all, i woke up early this morning, looking forward to chairing the Spirituality Meeting this am. I sat up out of bed, streched my sleepy arms up, bend my head from side to side and open my eyes to see about a foot of snow outside! I know for some of you that's no biggi, but for us here, tha...	mastiff	7	366	Feb 20, 2006 by maresie
	Cant believe how things can change (Preview) I was sitting here thinking how much my A has affected me without me even realizing it over the last 8 years of my life. We werent together for all 8 years - but the up and down rollercoaster of "I want to be with you - I cant be with you - I love you - I cant love you - etc etc etc" affected me more than I ever k...	Cyn	6	733	Feb 20, 2006 by maresie
	I asked God (Preview) It's been a very tough week. Last night my friends Bill and Pam ( who helped to keep me safe this week) came up to check I was ok and Pam gave me this. I thought I could share it with you all; I asked God to take away my habit.. He said "No,it is not for me to take away,but for you to give up" I asked God to make...	chris52	7	489	Feb 20, 2006 by Andrea12
	Feeling lost again (Preview) My A has been letting the girls down large lately.Broken promises day after day.There still at the whys They come to me for answers that I dont have.Its so tough living with active A and 3 teenage girls in a rural area.Some days I think I should take girls and go.But would them come with me.Cant leave them...	papa brunsk	3	428	Feb 19, 2006 by WakingUp
	ESH needed on grieg for material possessions lost (Preview) Hello Everyone, I need a little help here. I feel I am doing well following my program, and learning how to cope with my resentments and fears. Except I continue to be stuck on this same resntment. I collected music, every kind style form etc. Last year in the worst part of my A's relapse/...	Jennifer	6	509	Feb 19, 2006 by Jennifer
	Alone and lonely (Preview) I am still rather new to this program. I have been going to the on line chat and the on line meetings and have gone to one f2f. However, I am struggling with loneliness and would really appreciate some feedback from you all. Over the years I have managed to lose all of my friends.&nb...	MFran	9	613	Feb 19, 2006 by rosie light shines
	using the tools (Preview) Last weekend I had a huge row with the a. The whole weekend was ruined. He was his usual obnoxious self. This week I practiced and practiced not talking to him when he was in the disease. I was greatly helped by a member of this program who took time out to talk to me about talking to the disease. ...	maresie	3	382	Feb 19, 2006 by rosie light shines
	intervention (Preview) Well, today is day two of intervention. We meet today to rehearse our letters and fine tune the procedure. Tomorrow morning we do it. I am getting nervous again. I was okay yesterday with the group but have doubts when I am alone. I am trying to be strong for my son, i know he nee...	izzymom	4	374	Feb 19, 2006 by doxie
	Trying to save my 14 year old son (Preview) Right now I am trying to save my 14 yr old son from this god awful disease. I see so many things in him of his dad. Some good and some scare the hell out of me. Right now he is so very angry at all the stuff he has been thru, and who could blame him. He is unfortunately taking is anger out the the wrong ways: at schoo...	Andrea12	10	513	Feb 19, 2006 by Andrea12
	RELIEVE THE PRESSURE COOKER (Preview) Release, Relieve and Rest the pressure cooker inside YOU! "Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. T...	Lani	1	393	Feb 19, 2006 by Flora123
	the insanity of it. (Preview) It is very cold right now in Oregon. We are not used to this. Blue sky and weather in the teens or less. ground is super hard. meaning no mud at least. This morn the water is off. Yesterday there was water blowing out of the pressure thingy on the well. I had to call A. I mean you would think me up here w...	debilyn	4	421	Feb 19, 2006 by whitie
	standing up for myself (Preview) This afternoon my husband rang around 4.00pm and asked would I like to go up to the yacht club for a meal with friends as he had to discuss our aligning block of land with them. I said yes - what time he replied 6.00pm will be home shortly. At 5.40pm I rang and said what are you doing? He sa...	leo	8	428	Feb 19, 2006 by Diane43
	Justifiable anger (Preview) I am getting a divorce. I am married for 14 years to an abusive alcoholic. In May 2005 I had enough I hit MY BOTTOM and I left. In August I filed for divorce. Court mediation is 4/05/2006. Yesterday my lawyer sent me a letter from my husbands attorney saying they would value my pension. ...	megan	19	600	Feb 19, 2006 by Diane43
	Flawless logic. A mild rant. (Preview) My day has sucked today. I got yelled at at work for a truly minor infraction (a typo in the subject of an email. So shoot me.) Then I talked to my 'a' boyfriend. Bear in mind that we do have a great relationship. I love him with all my heart and he is my best friend. We...	paintthinnr	5	554	Feb 19, 2006 by learning76
	Anger (Preview) Hi, I am still new to this, but need to get something off my chest. My adult daughter A is in rehab. She is allowed visitors between certain hours. It is very hard for me to get there after work so I went every other day last week. Of course, weekends are easiest. She calls...	MFran	5	495	Feb 19, 2006 by MFran
	I'm having a really bad time (Preview) I got NO sleep last night. The brain just won't shut down...I guess that's pretty "normal"? after the week I've had. I'm So grateful for all the love and support my family here have given me.And the cyber hugs are great. I so need a real hug today...and there's no-one to give me one.This morning I go...	chris52	5	419	Feb 19, 2006 by megan
	Tough decisions (Preview) I am having some tough decisions to make. I ask for your prayers. I am going to a meeting tomorrow that could decide my work life for a long time to come. When I get up in the morning I'll pray and remind myself that my hp is already holding me, and guiding my day. But I am so nervous. Some of the anxiety I have be...	mebjk	2	469	Feb 19, 2006 by maresie
	letting go... (Preview) i have been slugging around lately and i feel like all i do is complain and worry. so the past few days i have decided to let go of it. there's nothing i can do or say to make my dad change. i don't deserve to be unhappy. thinking of him, what he is doing to himself and us makes me sad and unhappy. i am tryin...	flintfeet	5	439	Feb 19, 2006 by rosie light shines
	I can't take anymore (Preview) I absolutely can't take anymore...just for today. Yesterday my husband called home several times and complained about everything under the sun. Then he let lose with "Well, why should I be in a good mood? Every Friday I have to come home and give you my paycheck like a child."&nbs...	Powerless	6	458	Feb 19, 2006 by rosie light shines
	OH WOW-this is amazing!! (Preview) The last week has been the worst time for me....The only thing that has given me any hope has been the love and support from my friends and you very special people here. I got an reading from some horoscope thingy I check out occasionally when I can't find anything better to do...(doesn't h...	chris52	3	447	Feb 19, 2006 by carla036
	Grateful... (Preview) Morning Family~ I just re discovered this board the last few days, and I am so grateful for each and every one of you. It is through this program that I found peace and serenity, and a new way of life. However, like anything it truly is a choice. I feel as good or bad as I choose to feel. Nothing good com...	carla036	0	350	Feb 19, 2006 by carla036
	New Member Here (Preview) I am married to an alcoholic. This is my second marriage to an addict. I struggle constantly with the notion of leaving, but financially that just isn't feasible. He is not physically abusive. Every day he starts drinking as soon as he gets home from work; he stops when he passes out late in the night. If...	Sondee	11	478	Feb 19, 2006 by Sondee
	my chip (Preview) I had been pretty excited about my upcoming 1 year Alanon birthday for the last few weeks. I really am a cake celebrating kind of gal - so any reason for a cake is always good for me :0) We have a wonderful Alanon speakers meeting every month in our area that gives out chips for Alanon recovery. I was all exci...	sparkette	4	1082	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	told my kids! (Preview) I sat down and told my kids we are moving last night. That I am seperating from my husband. They didn't understand why. I guess I did a good job of not fighting in front of them andsheltering them from his drinking. All they were aware of was the problems with his daughter. An...	jrtjosey	7	526	Feb 18, 2006 by jrtjosey
	having a hard time (Preview) the past few days my a has been phoning me and treating me good. i was confused so today i spoke with him and asked him exactly what his motives were. i wanted to know if we were speaking and are working things out or if he is just trying to keep a hold on me. i want him to come home if he would be willing to go back t...	notsonew1111	8	415	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Tired... (Preview) Well our daily conversation has become ... ... if you can't make me happy we may as well break it off. Best I can offer her is, that I am trying to keep myself sane and that may not include keeping her entertained. "I love you but you have a drinking problem that you are not ready to d...	rtexas	5	495	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Awakening.... (Preview) I had no idea before reading the messages on this board how unoriginal my As are (ex husband and current husband). Wow! It's the same ugly face everywhere, the very same. There's no originality. (It's not even unique that I married two of them.) This realization is a breakthrough for me. It's like alco...	Sondee	3	427	Feb 18, 2006 by confused
	Adult Child? (Preview) I wonder sometimes if I should go to an Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting. My a is my boyfriend, but my father was one too. (And a Freudian psychologist. The irony is painful.) The thing is, my a is trying to get sober, slipping here and there. But I never thought of m...	paintthinnr	2	499	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Boundaries (Preview) Someone tell me about "boundaries"....Is there a specific alanon book that discusses them? Any info. would be great to help me learn more. -2D1S	2D1S	4	827	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	new member (Preview) Just wanted to introduce my self I am a 47 yr old father of 3 girls.My wife of 21 yrs has been battling with alcholism for the past 10 yrs.I spent some time today in the chat room and am looking forward to my first meeting the people I met were fantastic.hope to chat again soon	papa brunsk	5	395	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Should I be impressed... (Preview) A cut her drinking from 12-14 beers a day to 7 or so and asks me "are you happy"? I told her I'm not counting any more. 7, 12 or 20... her irrational behavior is the same, so it doesn't matter to me. A decided to have dinner at my folks for a send off diner for my brother.&...	rtexas	8	456	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.