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Kind of personal and not really Alanon, but any advice would be appreciated.
(Preview)
Hi
This is a womans question. I have started my changes, and have noticed I have a hair trigger temper. My moods go up and down and I do explode. I find myself apologizing all the time over the dumbest of things.
I have been trying to see it coming, count to ten etc. but I have to admitt it has been getting...
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Jeannie
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12
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598
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back from the dead
(Preview)
Hello all:
My computer was down for some time as we were working on the room. It is up and running now. I logged on today to check on the board and received three messages from friends here....thanks to you all for reaching out and checking on me......I really missed having...
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Kim
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4
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546
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Walking a Tightrope
(Preview)
I got this email today and it really made sense to me and gave me something to think about... thought it might fit with others
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
--Karl Wallenda
In walking a tightrope, a person has to learn to relax while going fo...
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sandie123
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2
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384
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Learning a lot about myself...
(Preview)
Don't know if it helps the situation any with my relationship with my wife, but it may help me some day.
Most of my actions and thoughts center around gaining someones approval. I have found that I have a compulsive need to please everyone (everyone else anyway). That has to be wh...
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rtexas
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4
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424
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I just don't get it
(Preview)
Hello all!
I am struggling with the insanity that is such a big part of dealing with an alcoholic. I know I should let it go and not let it get to me, but it's driving me crazy.
Since my husband and I separated, he's been going to AA. Sounds like a good thing, right? Well, it is in theory, but when I talk to h...
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findingmyway
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3
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397
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building up
(Preview)
This weekend was hard. My sister situation is hers but very painful for me to think the pain she is going through. But I am the outside and I am the one who can see everything. But like me and my situation. I love my husband. She is staying with her husband even though he is cheating for the kids. I have to lear...
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nycbt
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2
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371
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taking care of OLD business
(Preview)
Hope for Today - February 21
It took me a long time to admit that I had experienced some horrible things as a child growing up in a family affected by alcoholism. In Al-Anon I found a safe place to remember the past and to face it. As I began to accept the truth about my past by writing in my journ...
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rosie light shines
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1
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351
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Feelings hurt
(Preview)
I have been in Al-Anon now for over 5 years. I have seen and felt the most growth in the past 2 years and over the last 6 months have come to a much closer relationship with my HP and have learned to trust him and turn things over and actually not snatch them back! LOL.
Until this week. I need to...
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jemco518
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4
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538
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My mom's tests
(Preview)
Well we received the results of my mom's core needle biopsy. It is cancer. Strangly enough she is a breast cancer survivor and it is breast cancer that has spread. She has informed us kids that she doesn't believe she will have surgery, she is not doing chemo either. She is 82...
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marmare
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5
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879
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intervention success!
(Preview)
We did the intervention on my son today and it was a success. He went in without any trouble. Now is the really tough part, hoping and praying it will work. Thank you for all your prayers, it makes me feel a little bit braver. This was the toughest thing I think I have ever...
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izzymom
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7
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529
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What do I think/do about this?
(Preview)
If you all remember my past posts, you'll remember it's been a huge mess. Remember, my AH wanted a divorce and wanted to start his life over and live in Arizona away from us (Colorado), he had been out there working and had a relapse. He never came home, lost his job, went to a de...
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sdisnie
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4
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364
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A quick question
(Preview)
I have a question-my friend wanted to make an account here and it wont let her-can you only use one name per computer per IP number? She was going to use my PC because she doesn't have one at home she could use.
Please let me know. Thanks
Jill
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SweetJill
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4
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591
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Negative negative - how do you get rid of a hardened negative attitude?
(Preview)
For the past few years Ive had a very hardened NEGATIVE attitude towards everything - people, places, things, etc etc.
How do I work on getting rid of this attitude and being more positive? At least to learn to keep my mouth shut! I would a happier person if I wasnt so Negative all the time. HELPPPPPPPP...
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Barbara
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5
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414
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How do you break down that wall to let yourself grow?
(Preview)
Every time I start this growing "stuff" I get to a point that I shut off. I get involved in learning about how I tick then put that wall back up. I only delve so far in and then I realize nonono cant do it, back away. I wrote journals sometimes as a kid but then they got found. How do you get yourself to really ope...
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Barbara
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2
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346
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my weekend
(Preview)
On Saturday on went with my guy friend to lunch.
Then on Sunday went to the mall with my husband. Then later on that day my girlfriend called wanted to go to red loster. I said ok. I sent up the computer for the game for my husband. The girl the whole time was complaning about her the guy she was with. I waswi...
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nycbt
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2
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336
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been a few days
(Preview)
Well it has been a few days since I was on. I'm having a hard time--would love to be on here more, but the only time I get a chance to be on here is at work and then I'm afraid I get so caught up here I'm not doing my job! Any Way!!!
The beginning of last week went very well. My a decided a week...
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hudsond
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5
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621
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not again...
(Preview)
my a had been on the wagon for a few weeks. then his father went away this weekend. i was there with him. he decided we should get some wine. he got two bottles. (used to get 4) and the next day got one. i could not have handled it worse. i didn't say anything, w...
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paintthinnr
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4
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410
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update
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I hope this finds you all well.
I have been reading a lot of your posts but I haven't been posting much, just an occasional reply. I have had a lot going round and round in my head and haven't really had anything usefull to say.
It has been almost two months since my Father In Law has p...
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Jeannie
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5
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501
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Reacting once again
(Preview)
This continues to be some wild ride with my A. I did make it to a lawyer last week. He said that marriage was a financial and responsibility legal agreeement. And my husband says that he doesn't want a marital relationship with me but is willing to share the finances. Talking to the lawyer was ironically...
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nmike
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2
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419
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They let him out of jail
(Preview)
They called me today and asked me if I wanted to attend my husband's bail bond arraignment and I said yes. They told me that if I wanted to talk to the judge to get there early. I got there about an hour early, which I did. The magistrate said he could not order drug treatment when I asked...
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Powerless
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5
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433
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I just met with AA
(Preview)
Well,I got a phone call from AA.They said they have my A with them and they now want to come here to meet with me,so we can decide what to do.I asked "exactly WHO is coming,and was told my A wanted to come too." I said NO. I told them they can come and we can talk,but I don't wish to discuss this in front of my A. Th...
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chris52
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12
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528
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Help! I need a meeting!!
(Preview)
could someone please help me? I am new to this site - just found it this morning. I'd REALLY like to learn how to use this site for a meeting. By the way, what time zone is the 9 am meeting in?
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Sharon M
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2
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376
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Went to an AA meeting.....
(Preview)
In the last couple f2f alanon meetings I have been to, it was recommended to me that I try to attend an AA meeting or two. Its not the first time its been mentioned to me... my therapist had also said she thought I should attend some. One of my biggest problems with my A is that I think he i...
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NottaClu
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4
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508
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Such a great weekend
(Preview)
This weekend I went out of town. It was great. I attended some f2f meeting, that were amazing. Pretty neat people there. When I came back the next night, they greeted me as if I had always been there, like apart of a close family. Many, many oldtimers.
I went on a hike I...
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ZiggyDoodles
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2
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393
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life has truely become unmanageable
(Preview)
Hi all,
After being sober for 9 days,my A has been drinking again since last Thursday (one day after his pay day- sickness allowance)When he was sober and after going away on a binge for 4 days and sleeping in his car, I told him not to drink in my house and stay away when he is drunk. When I got back f...
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koala
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8
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535
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Right...
(Preview)
its about time I addressed this, think I need some help. I've started going to the pub at lunch and drinking 2-4 pints just to take the edge off how bad I feel. Can't sleep during the week and shake big time, anyone give some advice?
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Al
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4
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535
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My husband is in jail
(Preview)
This morning we both woke up in a good mood. I am not sure what happened but he became very cranky and I let it effect my mood. I became very cranky. We went out for breakfast and go into an argument. My son and I decided to wait in the car until he and my daughter finished eating.&n...
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Powerless
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12
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614
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LIFE THROUGH MY EYES
(Preview)
Life Through My Eyes
In my life I have only known nothing but lies
In my own little world with my own little eyes
Where there in no sadness and I can hear no cries
I am sad but cannot cry
My tears have long been dry
I cannot fill a heart that was never whole
I also am dead inside
And hav...
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Lauren ashley
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5
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476
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Constantly Appologizing?
(Preview)
Lately, I feel like I'm constantly appologizing. I feel like I go into something with very clear and kind intentions and then somehow things get twisted into me being a bad guy. And I end up appologizing for it. And it's wearing me out. I mean, where do I go wrong? And I also feel like I'm so often misunders...
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Emafer
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4
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465
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grieving /surrender
(Preview)
I started seeing a new counselor. I am not sure if she can help or not but I have a plan b if she does not help (I must say I never had a plan b in my life before so i am very very grateful for this program). I am working on some issues from my adolescence that really have haunted me for a long long time that ca...
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maresie
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4
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508
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is **cooperation** good enough??
(Preview)
A.A. Thought for the Day
Liquor used to be my friend. I used to have a lot of fun drinking. Practically all the fun I had was connected with drinking. But the time came when liquor became my enemy. I don't know just when liquor turned against me and became my enemy, but I know it happened, because I bega...
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rosie light shines
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1
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487
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Thank you
(Preview)
Thanks to all who replied I will take on board the advice and learn as much as I can. I am not experienced enough or confident enough to respond to others postings, I would probably say the wrong thing and make you all feel worse (if thats possible). Having said that it does not...
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penny
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2
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456
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Where did I go wrong
(Preview)
Where did I go wrong....... On Friday morning my A who has been sober for 5 weeks and in a pretty good frame of mind started an almighty row. I could'nt find the keys and he heard me cursing under my breath that was the start of it, I was'nt cursing him just muttering wheres the sodding keys. I t...
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penny
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5
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502
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Doing the right thing?
(Preview)
I got some bad news today - my daughter (14) came to me with a couple of her friends. They were worried and upset - another of their friends had told them that her cousin had raped her last week. One of the friends had told her mother, a couple of days ago, who phoned the girl's mother to tell her about it, She w...
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lin0606
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7
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422
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putting ME too on my step 8 list
(Preview)
Hope for Today - February 18
As I began writing my Eighth Step list -- the persons I had harmed -- many wise Al-Anon members suggested I put my own name on it. The coping behaviors I had developed as a child had helped me survive the chaos in my alcoholic home. However, these behaviors...
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rosie light shines
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4
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477
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snowed in and out but ty hp for it
(Preview)
hiya all,
i woke up early this morning, looking forward to chairing the Spirituality Meeting this am. I sat up out of bed, streched my sleepy arms up, bend my head from side to side and open my eyes to see about a foot of snow outside! I know for some of you that's no biggi, but for us here, tha...
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mastiff
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7
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387
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Cant believe how things can change
(Preview)
I was sitting here thinking how much my A has affected me without me even realizing it over the last 8 years of my life. We werent together for all 8 years - but the up and down rollercoaster of "I want to be with you - I cant be with you - I love you - I cant love you - etc etc etc" affected me more than I ever k...
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Cyn
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6
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754
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I asked God
(Preview)
It's been a very tough week. Last night my friends Bill and Pam ( who helped to keep me safe this week) came up to check I was ok and Pam gave me this. I thought I could share it with you all; I asked God to take away my habit.. He said "No,it is not for me to take away,but for you to give up" I asked God to make...
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chris52
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7
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510
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Feeling lost again
(Preview)
My A has been letting the girls down large lately.Broken promises day after day.There still at the whys They come to me for answers that I dont have.Its so tough living with active A and 3 teenage girls in a rural area.Some days I think I should take girls and go.But would them come with me.Cant leave them...
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papa brunsk
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3
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449
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ESH needed on grieg for material possessions lost
(Preview)
Hello Everyone,
I need a little help here. I feel I am doing well following my program, and learning how to cope with my resentments and fears. Except I continue to be stuck on this same resntment. I collected music, every kind style form etc. Last year in the worst part of my A's relapse/...
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Jennifer
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6
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531
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Alone and lonely
(Preview)
I am still rather new to this program. I have been going to the on line chat and the on line meetings and have gone to one f2f.
However, I am struggling with loneliness and would really appreciate some feedback from you all. Over the years I have managed to lose all of my friends.&nb...
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MFran
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9
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631
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using the tools
(Preview)
Last weekend I had a huge row with the a. The whole weekend was ruined. He was his usual obnoxious self. This week I practiced and practiced not talking to him when he was in the disease. I was greatly helped by a member of this program who took time out to talk to me about talking to the disease. ...
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maresie
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3
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403
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intervention
(Preview)
Well, today is day two of intervention. We meet today to rehearse our letters and fine tune the procedure. Tomorrow morning we do it. I am getting nervous again. I was okay yesterday with the group but have doubts when I am alone. I am trying to be strong for my son, i know he nee...
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izzymom
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4
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389
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Trying to save my 14 year old son
(Preview)
Right now I am trying to save my 14 yr old son from this god awful disease. I see so many things in him of his dad. Some good and some scare the hell out of me. Right now he is so very angry at all the stuff he has been thru, and who could blame him. He is unfortunately taking is anger out the the wrong ways: at schoo...
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Andrea12
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10
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539
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RELIEVE THE PRESSURE COOKER
(Preview)
 Release, Relieve and Rest the pressure cooker inside YOU!
"Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. T...
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Lani
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1
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417
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the insanity of it.
(Preview)
It is very cold right now in Oregon. We are not used to this. Blue sky and weather in the
teens or less. ground is super hard. meaning no mud at least.
This morn the water is off. Yesterday there was water blowing out of the pressure thingy
on the well. I had to call A. I mean you would think me up here w...
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debilyn
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4
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452
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standing up for myself
(Preview)
This afternoon my husband rang around 4.00pm and asked would I like to go up to the yacht club for a meal with friends as he had to discuss our aligning block of land with them. I said yes - what time he replied 6.00pm will be home shortly. At 5.40pm I rang and said what are you doing? He sa...
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leo
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8
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450
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Justifiable anger
(Preview)
I am getting a divorce.
I am married for 14 years to an abusive alcoholic. In May 2005 I had enough I hit MY BOTTOM and I left.
In August I filed for divorce.
Court mediation is 4/05/2006.
Yesterday my lawyer sent me a letter from my husbands attorney saying they would value my pension.
...
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megan
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19
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622
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Flawless logic. A mild rant.
(Preview)
My day has sucked today. I got yelled at at work for a truly minor infraction (a typo in the subject of an email. So shoot me.) Then I talked to my 'a' boyfriend. Bear in mind that we do have a great relationship. I love him with all my heart and he is my best friend. We...
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paintthinnr
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5
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580
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Anger
(Preview)
Hi, I am still new to this, but need to get something off my chest. My adult daughter A is in rehab. She is allowed visitors between certain hours. It is very hard for me to get there after work so I went every other day last week. Of course, weekends are easiest. She calls...
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MFran
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5
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516
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I'm having a really bad time
(Preview)
I got NO sleep last night. The brain just won't shut down...I guess that's pretty "normal"? after the week I've had. I'm So grateful for all the love and support my family here have given me.And the cyber hugs are great. I so need a real hug today...and there's no-one to give me one.This morning I go...
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chris52
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5
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440
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Tough decisions
(Preview)
I am having some tough decisions to make. I ask for your prayers. I am going to a meeting tomorrow that could decide my work life for a long time to come. When I get up in the morning I'll pray and remind myself that my hp is already holding me, and guiding my day. But I am so nervous. Some of the anxiety I have be...
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mebjk
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2
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499
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letting go...
(Preview)
i have been slugging around lately and i feel like all i do is complain and worry. so the past few days i have decided to let go of it. there's nothing i can do or say to make my dad change. i don't deserve to be unhappy. thinking of him, what he is doing to himself and us makes me sad and unhappy. i am tryin...
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flintfeet
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5
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464
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I can't take anymore
(Preview)
I absolutely can't take anymore...just for today. Yesterday my husband called home several times and complained about everything under the sun. Then he let lose with "Well, why should I be in a good mood? Every Friday I have to come home and give you my paycheck like a child."&nbs...
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Powerless
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6
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476
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OH WOW-this is amazing!!
(Preview)
The last week has been the worst time for me....The only thing that has given me any hope has been the love and support from my friends and you very special people here. I got an reading from some horoscope thingy I check out occasionally when I can't find anything better to do...(doesn't h...
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chris52
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3
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465
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Grateful...
(Preview)
Morning Family~ I just re discovered this board the last few days, and I am so grateful for each and every one of you. It is through this program that I found peace and serenity, and a new way of life. However, like anything it truly is a choice. I feel as good or bad as I choose to feel. Nothing good com...
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carla036
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0
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375
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New Member Here
(Preview)
I am married to an alcoholic. This is my second marriage to an addict. I struggle constantly with the notion of leaving, but financially that just isn't feasible. He is not physically abusive. Every day he starts drinking as soon as he gets home from work; he stops when he passes out late in the night. If...
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Sondee
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11
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502
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my chip
(Preview)
I had been pretty excited about my upcoming 1 year Alanon birthday for the last few weeks. I really am a cake celebrating kind of gal - so any reason for a cake is always good for me :0) We have a wonderful Alanon speakers meeting every month in our area that gives out chips for Alanon recovery. I was all exci...
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sparkette
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4
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1103
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told my kids!
(Preview)
I sat down and told my kids we are moving last night. That I am seperating from my husband. They didn't understand why. I guess I did a good job of not fighting in front of them andsheltering them from his drinking. All they were aware of was the problems with his daughter.
An...
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jrtjosey
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7
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554
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having a hard time
(Preview)
the past few days my a has been phoning me and treating me good. i was confused so today i spoke with him and asked him exactly what his motives were. i wanted to know if we were speaking and are working things out or if he is just trying to keep a hold on me. i want him to come home if he would be willing to go back t...
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notsonew1111
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8
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439
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