The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i speant the last week going to work and doing the things i loved and missing my a like crazy. he was calling me alot saying how he missed me but i told him to not call me unless he was gonna get back into aa. we didnt speak for a few days and i still went out and had fun. i didnt go back to my old thinking while i was out, that i needed men to want me to feel good about myself. i just went out and had fun with the girls. i had a really hard time the next few days missing my a. then he called. crying and telling me he has made the choice to go back to aa that he cant live without me. im very happy about this. but know the things i must do. such as keep the focus on me and leave his program to him. i know we have a very hard journey ahead of us. the best i can do is take care of myself and work on my shortcomings to be a better person. the past month i have let go of my resentments of the past and now can actually say i have compassion for him and his disease. im not looking as to what may happen tomorrow and i will not take for granted this time we have together. we are a team. he is going to come home right away here and im very nervous. i want to hold him and never let him go. im gonna do my best to show him that i do love him and respect him. in the past everything that came out of my mouth was of disgust because i just didnt understand. he is a human being too and needs love too. im beginning to love myself more and more each day and seeing my positive qualities. i am the only one that decides if i'm happy or not and i can really see this now. this past month has taught me that i am really not so dependent on him. i went to work, paid my bills and did my own grocery shopping. i stopped isolating myself and let my loved ones back into my life that i once pushed away. i always worried of what they thought of the decisions i chose to make. but what they think of me is none of my business....i love that. this is my life and i will make my own decisions. when things dont turn out the way i want them to i know that hp is there right beside me. im excited about putting all of this into action. i got myself a sponsor and feel i am really on the right track. i know i will probably slip, but i can get right back up again. i have the support i need from all of you and others around me. sorry this was long but just wanted to share.
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stay in the now...dont look forward, dont look back....your life is what you make of it
Yah!!!!! I too take care of myself, then slip, then back again. Each time I start to take care of myself I learn something new about me and do a better job at it. You are doing so good and should be very proud of yourself.
Sounds like you are doing wonderful things to take care of "you" Great that you have a sponsor. So nice to hear the update -Thank you for sharing Lots of well wishes, tea
I admire the strength you have-although it may not feel like strength to you! I hope he decides to continue to get better and I hope that you can continue to get better too!
It sure does all come back to taking care of us and one day at a time. Keep working your program and using the tools you have. Only you and your HP know what is right for you. Boundaries are still so important with the As in our life. I am wishing you and your A all the best. Have you gone to an open AA meeting yet? The ones I went to were real eye openers. I went by myself and learned alot about the A. Keep on posting and updating. I am thinking of you and sending you postive thoughts. cdb xoxoxoxoxo ((((nsn))))
