The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't know you, but I can see that you are hurting. Please seek some help for yourself. Cutting is not healthy. You deserve to be happy and find peace. There is help out there for you.
You know that I have had my problems w/ suidical ideations & have tried it twice. Both times God interveined for me, obviously as I am still here.
I knew a girl that WAS a cutter, she is 27 now, married & has out-grown it, she wants a family. Even when her sister OD'ed a few yrs back, she didn't start doing the cutting again or the heroin that she had just gotten herself off of 3 weeks before her sis died.
God has a purpose for us all... I wish I could reach my hand out there to show you the divine creature you are inside, show you the way from pain but no one could do it for me ~ it took an act of God for my blinded eyes to be opened.
None of us deerves to suffer, we deserve to be happy & as Americans this is our right to pursue! I pray that your demons go behind you & you can & will be free to be happy, in this life right now.
Divine Master & Physician of our souls, You love us more than we know how to love, please send a legion of Your Angels to protect & love my dear friend Lauren Ashley, that she may feel Your presence & have some peace, now. Protect her from visible & invisible enemies & keep her in You loving care, show her the way back to You life giving spirit, fogiving & loving arms. Wrap her in You arms & pour out Your love on her now. I your humble & unworthy servant ask You this in the name of the Mother of God, Jesus, Your Holy Spirity, All of You Saints & Your legions of Angels. Amen.
-- Edited by kitty at 07:13, 2006-02-22
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Hi Lauren keep reaching out to us sweetie don't go through this pain by yourself. Are you still going to your al-anon meetings? Remember we know what is on the inside of you a beautiful, kind girl who even when she is at her lowest manages to help others here on the board. Please stay in touch with your higher power and contact a helpline if you are really feeling down.
Lauren, you are making wonderful healing progress, don't stop now. Don't make any life decisions until some of this stuff is worked through; for instance, a lot of acoas think they have to be punished so they punish themselves with self-mutiltion or illness. You have done nothing to be punished for. The adults in your life should have known better.
And remember, each person is an individual. There is no one collective behaviour for all women or all men. Men, as imperfect as they are, ahem, are still pretty interesting. Forgive, forget and give them a chance.
Y un consejo, (no se permiten pero..... como tu abuelito) , don't listen to negativity. You have to fight those thoughts: tell them to go away, don't indulge them!
And, Lauren, we are good, but HP is better. Let God be your guide. Just like you're doing, seek.
Ah Lauren...I wonder how old you are....when I was 17 I could have written exactly the same poem...wait a minute....I think...I may....yes I did write one very very similar about waking up to the nameless face beside me...Well I am 45 now and have been through a number of heartbreaks, grew up with a still practicing A, dated(allright, alright, - slept with) every addict in my circle of friends, lived with a family member who tried to commit suicide in our apartment, married a gambler, he left, got involved with (alright, alright - slept with) a controlling knight in shining armour, he left...hmmm(interesting how they both left! LOL).
The reason I list all of this is that after my ex-husband left me I went into a mental melt down. Ended up on meds, in therapy, forced off work for 3 years. Thank God my therapist was bright enough to point me in the direction of Al-Anon at our third meeting.
I cannot say I am totally sane (but then again who is) but I do have a better grip on my life. I too had suicidal thoughts but am happy to say did not act on them, cutting and or physically abusing myself were also thoughts that I was unable to carry out. I am so grateful to Al-Anon and all of you for teaching me that I can survive anything with help. Help from HP, friends, fellow members and help from my past experiences.
I will pray for you. I hate to see someone with such obvious talent and ability feeling like you seem to. Keep writing it is another way to purge your pain.
Please seek some help for yourself. Cutting is not healthy. You deserve to be happy and find peace. There is help out there for you.