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addicted to my A?
(Preview)
Well I noticed the funniest thing.
When he calls me or texts me, I feel like a kind of justification and like I am really 'doing' something here for myself.
When he doesn't I feel lonely and like 'what's the point?'
Why the heck does what I am doing here in my own house have to hinge upon what he...
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sweetums
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3
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337
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Detaching and Getting a Life
(Preview)
My husband is a recovering addict/alcoholic. He also struggles with chronic pain, and sometimes overuses his pain meds (in my opinion.) I try to "detach" from his slogged demeanor on those occassions, but it really bothers me to see him that way. It reminds me of when I was young and my dad was drunk. I f...
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terascot
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5
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374
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Dolphin123
(Preview)
Has anybody heard from Dolphin?
Hugs Mary
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marmare
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0
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242
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Alcoholism, a merry-go-round named denial...
(Preview)
This is a pamphalet handed to me today at my first f2f meeting ever. I nearly burst into tears as I read this booklet written 4 years after I was born about what is happening in my life today.
To all of you who kept saying get ye to a meeting.... THANK YOU!
It was a steps meeting, but all I cou...
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rtexas
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3
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2570
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A small setback..
(Preview)
A was "supposed" to come home today...
I just called him and asked what time I should pick him up. He said Dr. wants him one more day. BP is back up and ammonia level in blood is rising again. Poor guy.
The good thing is I can meet with my Sponsor, I always do on Thursdays and was not able to last week.
...
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Christy
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10
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376
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Maybe he's full of S___!
(Preview)
Well, since what he said yesterday (what I wrote in my last post), I haven't heard from him again regarding it. But he did call my friend today and to her he sounded a bit annoyed. He wanted to know what I wanted to do, and she said that I didn't know, I was very confused. Then he said I was...
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sdisnie
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5
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278
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Now the hard part begins.
(Preview)
I have been reading and benefitting from everyone's post's since I found this site a few weeks ago but this is the first time I've posted.
I attended f2f meetings a few years ago as I have several A's in my life. The one I have the biggest frustration with is my husband. He has been doing AA a...
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marcie301
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4
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303
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clean up my HEAD---clean up my SPACE
(Preview)
Clearing Your Space For Change In life,
we tend to have an easier time acquiring possessions than we do getting rid of them. Just as we harbor emotional baggage that is difficult to let go of, our lives can tend to be filled with material objects that we may feel compelled to hold on to. Most...
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rosie light shines
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2
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220
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prayers pls, I must be making progress,
(Preview)
I must be making some progress. Cause I'm going to ask something that I normally would not reach out for.
Tomorrow around 5pm eastern is the scheduled visit for dyfs (child services).
If I could impose on anyone that would feel inclined to pray that I am doing god's work, that how I'm h...
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bobump
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9
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345
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Resentment & Retaliation
(Preview)
(((((Roomies)))))),
I could really use some ES&H on this issue. I find that I really struggle both with resentments and the desire to retaliate if I feel injured by someone close to me. If I feel hurt, I tend to want to hurt back. The retaliations are "minor"--silent treatment, sulking, retrea...
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BlueCloud
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7
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384
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What CAN I control???
(Preview)
So I"m not allowed to control my alcoholics. I'm not allowed to control the people around me. I can control my feelings and my actions.
So I want to redecorate my house. However I live with 2 roommates. And for the alst 6 months I've been putting things off in order to make them happy. In the meantime we h...
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Emafer
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5
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300
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Detaching
(Preview)
Well I have spent the last two days in bed a lot because my house is freezing. The A has not arranged with the landlord the heating stuff he was supposed to. I really went all out before Christmas to get the landlord to agree to a new heater. The A is supposed to provide him a few simple measurements ca...
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maresie
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2
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251
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The bridge
(Preview)
Here is an interesting recovery parable
I heard a story about a woman walking across a high bridge, on her journey. She saw someone coming to her but could not make anything out or who it was. As this person got closer she saw that he had something tied around his waist but again could not make out what...
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megan
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6
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312
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Heroes
(Preview)
amazingly, an Ozzy song....
Been around this world so many times
If you could only see my mind
I watch my secret heaven turn to hell
Faith alone has guided me
The ghost of my own destiny
I haven’t even got a soul to sell
All the thing I put me through
I wouldn’t wish my hell on you
Yo...
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sweetums
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1
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299
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They told him my decision
(Preview)
Another sleepless night,doing the usual round of "what if's?" and brought myself up short by telling myself that I can spend days or weeks or months analysing where it's all gone wrong.....but the end result is I am where I am....I KNOW how I got here and no amount of "wishing things could have gone diff...
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chris52
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9
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518
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March 25 - Courage to Change
(Preview)
someone at last nights F2F read this page -
I came to AlAnon confused about what was and was not my responsibility. Today after lots of Step work, I believe I am responsible for the following: to be loyal to my values, to please myself first, to keep an open mind, to detach with love, to rid myself of ange...
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Barbara
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1
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2336
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Amends?
(Preview)
I recently got chided by an AA friend for not letting an ex-boyfriend make amends to me. I explained that I have no communication with this person for a reason and just beucase they've been sober for 5 month is no reason for me to get all emotionally involved with someone that I don't see as having a lot to o...
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Emafer
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7
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422
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He wants away from me now
(Preview)
After almost 9 years relationship, and 5 years of marriage, he wants out. The alcohol is in control. Last year, in Jan. there was an incident where he was out of control, and flinging his arms around, and accidentally hit my nose and caused it to bleed. I became hysterical, filed charges, his mot...
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Becky1
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6
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481
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One cut too deep.......
(Preview)
I know you hurt
She looks at me with a blank stare
I try to ignore it but I do care
I like her I really do
I just want her to like me and that is no lie
Her icy blue eyes
I can tell of the hurt she carries inside
Hiding behind her beautiful hair buying material things
But I know w...
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Lauren ashley
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9
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352
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Hubby coming home :)
(Preview)
My husband is being released tomorrow and is willing to do an out pt. rehab program along w/AA.. I've called the insurance company and got the names of several addiction specialists..the rest is up to him. I doubt he'll be going anywhere for at least a week as he is very sick and puny still. Because of the...
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Christy
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12
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544
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O D A T So Thankful
(Preview)
I love the strength and energy that comes from this website. The chat rooms. The comaraderie of the people at the online meetings and the "shares." Very moving.
There is this ((( energy ))) it comes rushing through....from a wonderful carin...
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aunitedway
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2
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276
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update
(Preview)
i speant the last week going to work and doing the things i loved and missing my a like crazy. he was calling me alot saying how he missed me but i told him to not call me unless he was gonna get back into aa. we didnt speak for a few days and i still went out and had fun. i didnt go back to my old thinking while i was o...
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notsonew1111
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4
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268
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Please pray for me
(Preview)
My a and I own our business together. I have put it on the market. Today I recieved an offer which we have verbally accepted. The contract will be faxed to me tomorrow for our signature. Then we must wait while the contingencies are met. If all goes well we will have the store so...
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ditto
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4
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268
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Wanting to be ok either way
(Preview)
My a had 6 sober days. Honestly I was getting very excited--I know I know better, but I always hope too much! He had a couple of disappointments and now says f--- the world. He is just going to look out for himself. I haven't decided if this is all just huge pity party and his I'm going to show th...
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hudsond
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3
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372
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How do I get to Step 2?
(Preview)
I really want to move on to Step 2, but have am still having a real problem with the "God" stuff. How does one just "come to believe" in it? I believe in some sort of energy that connects all things, but it is dispassionate. It does not care for me or anyone. I want to move further i...
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paintthinnr
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5
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421
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How stupid can I be...
(Preview)
Topic of discussion last night was divorce... (or not)
I find myself saying that since you don't think your drinking causes a problem here at the house, here are the things that I struggle with and blame on the alcohol.
- You don't believe what I say I feel, how I see things happen or what my int...
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rtexas
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6
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442
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Division of Youth and Family Services to be called today
(Preview)
Well after my daughters pyschologist appt yesterday, he informed me that he is calling DYFS (might be called child protective services in your state) today.
He started it off saying the my daughter is obviously not a happy camper and that she is happier when she is no thome. He said that he wasn't c...
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bobump
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11
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457
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anyone attending the AA w/AlAnon convention in NH in April?
(Preview)
Just wondering. I think the dates are April 21-23
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Barbara
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2
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240
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thank you for responding/Eden
(Preview)
I read my post and it is screwed up. oh well. It was my
brother who brought me the pretty stuff and called later to see if
I was ok.
yea that is what I mean by insanity. I still have hope he will care
enough to help some.
Just cannot believe how awful he has become.
Well I dragged home water....
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debilyn
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2
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327
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weird dreams...
(Preview)
i have been keeping busy lately and have not had much time to worry about my dad. but the past 2 nights i have had dreams about my A dad. here goes:
DREAM #1...i am at my dad's house. it is a mess, beer cans everywhere, it smells, he got sick everywhere, and acts like nothing is wrong. i yell at him and he clos...
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flintfeet
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2
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206
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Hi everyone!
(Preview)
Well I am finally able to share some of my experiences on the message board! I sincerely enjoy reading all the things everyone has to say and find much solace in it. It is so good to know that I am not alone, and that my situation is far, far from being unique!
My A is my boyfriend (ex??not sure yet). I have t...
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sweetums
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4
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263
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So Many Changes
(Preview)
Well guys! I accepted the job I have been delaying. With my A relapsing, there is no time like the present to really start taking care of myself. I need to make sure all my bases are covered, financially and with insurance, etc.
My Grandson is due to arrive March 5th, I start...
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marmare
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4
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363
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Kind of personal and not really Alanon, but any advice would be appreciated.
(Preview)
Hi
This is a womans question. I have started my changes, and have noticed I have a hair trigger temper. My moods go up and down and I do explode. I find myself apologizing all the time over the dumbest of things.
I have been trying to see it coming, count to ten etc. but I have to admitt it has been getting...
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Jeannie
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12
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451
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back from the dead
(Preview)
Hello all:
My computer was down for some time as we were working on the room. It is up and running now. I logged on today to check on the board and received three messages from friends here....thanks to you all for reaching out and checking on me......I really missed having...
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Kim
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4
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395
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Walking a Tightrope
(Preview)
I got this email today and it really made sense to me and gave me something to think about... thought it might fit with others
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
--Karl Wallenda
In walking a tightrope, a person has to learn to relax while going fo...
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sandie123
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2
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241
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Learning a lot about myself...
(Preview)
Don't know if it helps the situation any with my relationship with my wife, but it may help me some day.
Most of my actions and thoughts center around gaining someones approval. I have found that I have a compulsive need to please everyone (everyone else anyway). That has to be wh...
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rtexas
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4
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295
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I just don't get it
(Preview)
Hello all!
I am struggling with the insanity that is such a big part of dealing with an alcoholic. I know I should let it go and not let it get to me, but it's driving me crazy.
Since my husband and I separated, he's been going to AA. Sounds like a good thing, right? Well, it is in theory, but when I talk to h...
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findingmyway
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3
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256
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building up
(Preview)
This weekend was hard. My sister situation is hers but very painful for me to think the pain she is going through. But I am the outside and I am the one who can see everything. But like me and my situation. I love my husband. She is staying with her husband even though he is cheating for the kids. I have to lear...
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nycbt
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2
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230
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taking care of OLD business
(Preview)
Hope for Today - February 21
It took me a long time to admit that I had experienced some horrible things as a child growing up in a family affected by alcoholism. In Al-Anon I found a safe place to remember the past and to face it. As I began to accept the truth about my past by writing in my journ...
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rosie light shines
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1
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223
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Feelings hurt
(Preview)
I have been in Al-Anon now for over 5 years. I have seen and felt the most growth in the past 2 years and over the last 6 months have come to a much closer relationship with my HP and have learned to trust him and turn things over and actually not snatch them back! LOL.
Until this week. I need to...
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jemco518
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4
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411
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My mom's tests
(Preview)
Well we received the results of my mom's core needle biopsy. It is cancer. Strangly enough she is a breast cancer survivor and it is breast cancer that has spread. She has informed us kids that she doesn't believe she will have surgery, she is not doing chemo either. She is 82...
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marmare
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5
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736
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intervention success!
(Preview)
We did the intervention on my son today and it was a success. He went in without any trouble. Now is the really tough part, hoping and praying it will work. Thank you for all your prayers, it makes me feel a little bit braver. This was the toughest thing I think I have ever...
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izzymom
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7
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413
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What do I think/do about this?
(Preview)
If you all remember my past posts, you'll remember it's been a huge mess. Remember, my AH wanted a divorce and wanted to start his life over and live in Arizona away from us (Colorado), he had been out there working and had a relapse. He never came home, lost his job, went to a de...
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sdisnie
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4
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244
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A quick question
(Preview)
I have a question-my friend wanted to make an account here and it wont let her-can you only use one name per computer per IP number? She was going to use my PC because she doesn't have one at home she could use.
Please let me know. Thanks
Jill
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SweetJill
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4
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476
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Negative negative - how do you get rid of a hardened negative attitude?
(Preview)
For the past few years Ive had a very hardened NEGATIVE attitude towards everything - people, places, things, etc etc.
How do I work on getting rid of this attitude and being more positive? At least to learn to keep my mouth shut! I would a happier person if I wasnt so Negative all the time. HELPPPPPPPP...
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Barbara
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5
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275
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How do you break down that wall to let yourself grow?
(Preview)
Every time I start this growing "stuff" I get to a point that I shut off. I get involved in learning about how I tick then put that wall back up. I only delve so far in and then I realize nonono cant do it, back away. I wrote journals sometimes as a kid but then they got found. How do you get yourself to really ope...
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Barbara
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2
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218
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my weekend
(Preview)
On Saturday on went with my guy friend to lunch.
Then on Sunday went to the mall with my husband. Then later on that day my girlfriend called wanted to go to red loster. I said ok. I sent up the computer for the game for my husband. The girl the whole time was complaning about her the guy she was with. I waswi...
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nycbt
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2
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230
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been a few days
(Preview)
Well it has been a few days since I was on. I'm having a hard time--would love to be on here more, but the only time I get a chance to be on here is at work and then I'm afraid I get so caught up here I'm not doing my job! Any Way!!!
The beginning of last week went very well. My a decided a week...
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hudsond
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5
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503
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not again...
(Preview)
my a had been on the wagon for a few weeks. then his father went away this weekend. i was there with him. he decided we should get some wine. he got two bottles. (used to get 4) and the next day got one. i could not have handled it worse. i didn't say anything, w...
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paintthinnr
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4
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281
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update
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I hope this finds you all well.
I have been reading a lot of your posts but I haven't been posting much, just an occasional reply. I have had a lot going round and round in my head and haven't really had anything usefull to say.
It has been almost two months since my Father In Law has p...
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Jeannie
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5
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336
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Reacting once again
(Preview)
This continues to be some wild ride with my A. I did make it to a lawyer last week. He said that marriage was a financial and responsibility legal agreeement. And my husband says that he doesn't want a marital relationship with me but is willing to share the finances. Talking to the lawyer was ironically...
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nmike
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2
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281
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They let him out of jail
(Preview)
They called me today and asked me if I wanted to attend my husband's bail bond arraignment and I said yes. They told me that if I wanted to talk to the judge to get there early. I got there about an hour early, which I did. The magistrate said he could not order drug treatment when I asked...
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Powerless
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5
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313
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I just met with AA
(Preview)
Well,I got a phone call from AA.They said they have my A with them and they now want to come here to meet with me,so we can decide what to do.I asked "exactly WHO is coming,and was told my A wanted to come too." I said NO. I told them they can come and we can talk,but I don't wish to discuss this in front of my A. Th...
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chris52
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12
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384
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Help! I need a meeting!!
(Preview)
could someone please help me? I am new to this site - just found it this morning. I'd REALLY like to learn how to use this site for a meeting. By the way, what time zone is the 9 am meeting in?
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Sharon M
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2
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268
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Went to an AA meeting.....
(Preview)
In the last couple f2f alanon meetings I have been to, it was recommended to me that I try to attend an AA meeting or two. Its not the first time its been mentioned to me... my therapist had also said she thought I should attend some. One of my biggest problems with my A is that I think he i...
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NottaClu
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4
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395
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Such a great weekend
(Preview)
This weekend I went out of town. It was great. I attended some f2f meeting, that were amazing. Pretty neat people there. When I came back the next night, they greeted me as if I had always been there, like apart of a close family. Many, many oldtimers.
I went on a hike I...
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ZiggyDoodles
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2
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260
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life has truely become unmanageable
(Preview)
Hi all,
After being sober for 9 days,my A has been drinking again since last Thursday (one day after his pay day- sickness allowance)When he was sober and after going away on a binge for 4 days and sleeping in his car, I told him not to drink in my house and stay away when he is drunk. When I got back f...
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koala
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8
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413
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Right...
(Preview)
its about time I addressed this, think I need some help. I've started going to the pub at lunch and drinking 2-4 pints just to take the edge off how bad I feel. Can't sleep during the week and shake big time, anyone give some advice?
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Al
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4
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385
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My husband is in jail
(Preview)
This morning we both woke up in a good mood. I am not sure what happened but he became very cranky and I let it effect my mood. I became very cranky. We went out for breakfast and go into an argument. My son and I decided to wait in the car until he and my daughter finished eating.&n...
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Powerless
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12
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466
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LIFE THROUGH MY EYES
(Preview)
Life Through My Eyes
In my life I have only known nothing but lies
In my own little world with my own little eyes
Where there in no sadness and I can hear no cries
I am sad but cannot cry
My tears have long been dry
I cannot fill a heart that was never whole
I also am dead inside
And hav...
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Lauren ashley
|
5
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323
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