Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

phoebemoonpie · phoebemoonpie

Hi, kind people. I posted here many months ago about the destruction of my marriage due to this disease. My ex husband and I were using addicts / alcoholics for years together. The birth of our daughter (born addicted) finally brought me to sobriety. I stopped seeing him when sh...

AlaMom · AlaMom

is not always a terrible thing to do. I have posted a couple of times about the situation of my father moving very far away. Two days ago I was all over the map emotionally but didnt even realize it. It wasnt until after I raged at my husband and said some very hurtful things that I reali...

gardengal · gardengal

Living with an alcoholic seriously affects our feels of self worth. We get sick. We suffer from guilt thinking that we caused the problem, and and we sit at home or at work in worry and fear, anxiety and stress. This makes us sicker. We hold things in and let if fester and grow within us, and our reactions t...

daisygirly · daisygirly

Hi...I really want to join in on the chat room but the chat room is coming up when I open the page. Everything else opens on the page execpt where the chat should be going on it's just an empty black box. Anyone have any ideas why this is happening and how I can fix it..??? thanks!

evey · evey

Hi, I posted a couple of weeks ago about my AH almost dying due to alcohol poisoning and how I confronted him after it in a liquor store. He agreed to go to rehab and he has been there for 5 days.Hate to say it, but I have gotten more done in these 5 days than I have in 6 months. I did see a...

Gailey · Gailey

One of mine is sitting in my recliner alone in the early morning while drinking my coffee and watching the hummingbirds outside my window eating from my feeder. Those little birds are so amazing to me. What's yours?

Barbara · Barbara

Yikes spoke with my mother the other day and now my younger brother who is back in court July 27th lost his part time gas station job! He came to work two hours late - his boss said he gave him enough chances and let him go. He knew he had to "keep his back clean" and now he's done this?! My mother is afraid he'll...

Powerless · Powerless

I found out that I am pregnant and due March 05, 2007. I am a little excited, but mostly terrfied. I can't think of a more irresponsible thing to do. My oldest daughter lives with her dad, I can't afford the two that live with us. My husband is finally getting clean and working a...

jajanma · jajanma

What are some of the ways you all deal with the money thing? I have become an expert at hiding money, but doing that makes me feel sick, because he is always calling me a liar, and I guess that makes him right, but I don't know how else to deal with it. I am just starting back to work again after 3 years of stayin...

smub · smub

I am posting here for the first time. I really need to vent..otherwise I will think about all this all day and it will impact everything I do today (it is only 7 am now!)..and maybe I will even lose my mind more. My husband of 5 1/2 years is an active alcoholic. I knew from the first month toge...

txmom · txmom

A Life Lesson From A Mule A parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer's well. The farmer heard the mule braying. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble o...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi Roomies, I just logged back on and the baord is fixed, the posts are now in order of start date!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ty for fixing it Webmaster!

Lanchas · Lanchas

I have great news. I now have 3 jobs! I work at Mano's with sporadic hours making $5/hr + tips. I work at Arby's with currently unknown hours but making $6.75/hr. I work at Byrne Dairy my first night is tomorrow 5pm-12am making $6.75/hr. I'm so excited! My hope of going back to UC went from 99.9% of not goin...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Hi friend How do you deal with the anger at alcoholics and the despair over your life and what you have to live with the rest of your life? I don't see a bright future for me right now.My life is empty.I have no fun and no love.I am reading the literature.Actually I am reading Getting Them Sober,a book hig...

serendipity · serendipity

is it common among us (alanoners) to always feel inadequate? i feel like everyone, and i mean everyone, is way smarted than i could ever even hope to be. everyone must know all the things i don't. consequently, i trust that everyone will be better at things that affect my life than i would be. and i have be...

angel123 · angel123

Went camping this past weekend.sitting at the lake with fishing pole in hand watching the trees blow softly from the tops of them.Seeing rabbits in the field eating the farmers beets.It was so serene,I said to my self this is serenity.....Nature has a way of finding peace within, if I made the time t...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Okay anybody having problems with getting into their PMs? When someone sent me one, I was able to retrieve it, but no resppond to it. I then clicked on their name to send them a PM and can't do that either. (Heavy sigh), I know great webmaster you have your handsfull, but these new c...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Recently I posted about an issue with my active A father and his move a couple thousand miles away. My father said that he would visit all his kids and grandchildren before he leaves. He leaves tomorrow and has yet to do any of what he said. I did expect that this would be the case and am...

cdb · cdb

It is after 4am and I can't sleep. I have been away. Yesterday while gone, I got a phone call from my husband. Our daughter relapsed. She stayed out all night and left her dog home for my husband to care of. No communication as to where she was until 3pm. Then my husband yelled at her. She didn't come home unt...

findingmyway · findingmyway

My husband and I have been separated for six months now and for the most part, I'm doing well. It's the times that he plays with the money that get to me. He hasn't paid any of the temporary alimony or child support he agreed to since April. I get so upset when I fall into the old traps.... believing hi...

dori · dori

Hi, Remember I was going to the meeting with my ex and his new gf.I went and she was one the speaker.I even shared at the meeting and even thank her for a great share. She did speak of him in her share guess what it didnt hurt the pain was gone no more pain of the lost or any thing it was gone. ...

david62 · david62

Hi everyone, I will be unable to chair tonight's meeting in the chat room. I hope someone can fill in for me.

Take care everyone...Happy Wednesday night! David

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

I so wanted to kill her Monday. I had to work 5pm to 10 pm. She knew we had to go make an arrangement to pay off the mobile home she was suppose to work off. I now solely have my name on the payments of paying for the mh & setup. total $1500. Her name is not on it. She half heartedly apologized for it not...

confused · confused

Does this sound weird to anyone? My AH and I have recently reconciled. During and before our separation he was not contributing financially to the household. About 3-4 weeks before we reconciled he began giving me a minimal amount of money each week. I let him know that I...

shadow1 · shadow1

When I first came to Alanon I was numb. All I wanted to do was learn how to get my AH to stop drinking. I wanted to control the situation. I have learned over the past while that I cannot do that. No one can control another’s actions. I was in the room talking to some people the other day and asked them “If your A...

maresie2 · maresie2

As anyone who remembers I came in here over the Christmas holiday bereft. My A had as normal gone over to his mother's. I made a nice dinner and he was totally out of it. I vow now not to make another nice dinner for Christmas or even for Thanksgiving and just to take care of msyelf. I know this w...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello Group))) In the last couple of days I learned that its real easy to get sucked into the A's drama and forget for a while about using the Alanon tools. I feel that I'm learning to apply the slogans and steps to my life and relationships, but some days it all feels like it went out the window...

jacksmom · jacksmom

I wrote yesterday about my A boyfriend who was missing. He died. I'm lost.

chris52 · chris52

Just to let you all know I'm still waiting for the phoneline to be fixed. have begged and pleaded and been made countless promises but things are notoriously S....L.....O.....W here. I do venture to the internet cafe and avail myself of the chance to at least try and read some posts.....it's a slow pro...

annmarie · annmarie

hi everyone, I think I might be going crazy....certainly can't see the wood fro the trees...can anyone advise me please. My Aboyfriend did a disappearing act for a few days......has been dry for a few months (was in rehab) but had a couple of relapses lately....started smoking dope again as we...

Cilla · Cilla

Just got off the phone with sons "recovering" alcoholic father. Seems that he got papers to show up in court with son too..... and what is the first words out of his mouth..... why do I have to go???? I don't have any money.... ugggggggh' Ok.... I feel a bit better n...

shadow1 · shadow1

I just wanted to thank everyone for there thoughts and prayers for my friends daughter. Her test came back negative for leukemia.

tls515 · tls515

I'm really new to this. I don't know if I am doing the right thing. I do know that my partner of 8 years drinks alot lately and has been terribly hurtful when in that sloppy drunken state. He becomes belittling, condescending, and argumentative when he's drunk. I feel so hurt...

babysteps · babysteps

First he goes on a 5 day bender...either passed out or working on getting there. Then when he "comes around," he is angry that I have made plans to spend the evening with a friend. I said, "do you expect me to sit around anxiously awaiting your return? How was I to know today would be the day you sober up? I am...

Belongtome · Belongtome

I am determined to send you a post relating only to me and my efforts to recovery. So many times, my posts dwell on what was done to me. Bull..... I am an adult, and should be saying, I allowed this to penetrate my serenity. But, when I fall away from the program, for any length of time...

Becky1 · Becky1

Well, going away, but not permanantly. I'm off to see my Mom, sister, and nephew in Kansas (almost 900 miles) from where I live. I am leaving July 1, and coming back on the 8th. I am going alone, and leaving my AH here to take care of the house and the cats (which he hates.) He hates the ca...

Dog · Dog

I did not contact my A this weekend as contracted. I hit some bumps and waves but I rode them and made it through. Now I'm going to go through this week in the same style. I am out and staying out. Thanks all for this board. There is no way I could have done this a month ago but between your stories, the fram...

hudsond · hudsond

Last Thursday I bought the biography of Lois Wilson, When Love is Not Enough. I spent my weekend reading it. IT was wonderful--the story and I needed somehting to keep me occupied since I broke my toe and couldn't really get around.) I haven't quite finished it, but I have really enjoyed it. I have been g...

serendipity · serendipity

i went to see a movie with my ah. i think of him now as my ex. he should have been 3 months ago my i have an idiot lawyer. ok that sounds harsh, maybe he's and alcoholic too! he's a master of avoiding. so, we went to the movies and had a nice time, he came back here and played with the kids and stayed for dinn...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

Ok, when I think of recovering alcoholic, I thnk of someone that knows they have a problem and is seeking help outside themselves. My A knows there is a problem but that is it. She does not think she needs help. She thinks her problem is under control by herself. Her drinking has slowed down but it has no...

John · John

Hello everyone, I wish to thank everyone that has sent in your recipes! My heart goes out to you for all you hard cooking. The cook book is coming together very slowly. I am in the middle of comprising inspirational daily mediations for each day of the year. This has become very...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I told my ex/bf that I could not see him anymore. That what he was asking me to do, I could not do. He wants me only for the bad times in his life. When he is down and depressed and needs someone to hold him. Some one to snuggle up with. Sex. Those are the only times he needs me. But, When I need someone for t...

confused · confused

I don't really get the new format of the message board. When I log on I see posts that are at the top of the board that were there days ago, and then new ones are way below. It seems that they move up as they are replied to not kept in the order in which they were posted. Is this accura...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

I kinda laugh at that title because Mad TV used to do a spoof on a dating service. That was the title of the skit. Well it fits me now, lol I have tried to lower my expectations & it is working somewhat. I am trying not to keep track of her alcohol consumption. Not actually sure when or how much th...

abbyal · abbyal

I have heard delusion is when I believe the fantacy I have created about my life . I believe the lies I tell myself on a daily basis . Denial is when I know there is something wrong but deny that is affecting me and my family. I never put a connection to his attiude and the amount of alcohol he was cons...

afmom03 · afmom03

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

I have read several times here that we are people pleasers and fixers....Several years ago I bought a book entitled "The Need to Please" I saw this trait in myself .....Can someone explain the connection with living with an A. PS I read all the posts daily...they are very help...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Family))))) Over the past few months my AW has been telling me she's leaving/she wants me to leave, and back and forth. Yesterday she got on the phone with my mom and told her she was moving to her mothers. Of course my mom was floored and called to see what in the world was going on. ...

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone... Just need to vent a little.... things were weird this weekend. My AH has relapsed after a year of sobriety last year and this year has been horrible, I hit my bottom of co-dependency dealing with it. I am learning to detach and it is tough, but the best thing for me th...

kerry5 · kerry5

I finally understand all of these statements in the opening and closing statements of our meetings.. They are the foundation that sets the program. Which basically says to me, focus on the most important thing which is me. I have been caught in other stuff lately and its just no...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((Everyone)) I know this is a hot button topic for a lot of people, so let me say off the bat I am not trying to hurt or offend anyone. I am trying to figure out what I am comfortable doing and the right way of doing it. I have made the decision that if my AH makes me feel threatened like the...

spaceygurl4 · spaceygurl4

My recovering A husband has been clean for 15 months. At first, of course, things were great. His mother passed away about 2 months ago and it seems like we have gone down hill from there. I do feel deep sorrow for his loss and understand he needs his greiving time. About a week...

confused · confused

Hi everyone, Just wanted to post a quick update on how things have been going. My AH and I have been reconciled for almost a month now. Things are really going ok. There are bumps in the road but I think we are both doing our best to handle them as they come along. We started to s...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Well... I can, but it turns me wrong side out when it lets anyone down. I am the only one that looks at the money in my house. The demands for entertainment are high. In the past if I have said "that is a bit pricey for us right now", which is as close to saying no as I ge...

Powerless · Powerless

I am still battling feelings of lonliness; especially this time of nigt when I feel like it's too late to be calling normal people. I am trying to make friends in the program, but reaching out to people is very difficult for me. I called my sponsor early this morning and she hasn't called me...

Reetry · Reetry

I'm new and have a (silly) question---what is ESH???

drucilla06 · drucilla06

(((family))) AH and I have been getting along well.We got the refinance on the house,paid all the credit cards off and got some cash as well to use to finish the half done projects that would keep us from selling the house for a good price. He is still talking to his online girlfriend.He doesn...

jajanma · jajanma

Hello. I have been reading this board for a few months, but have never posted. My situation is that I have been in a relationship with an alchoholic for over 5 years. He has been in and out of rehab, and always goes back to drinking. He finally, at the age of 45, got his first DUI. That, along with a cou...

patience · patience

My daughter and I left my A in Feb. He has been over every day this week b/c it was his vacation. The past two days he was so overmedicated with prescriptions that he didn't even know what day it was, he said things that were confusing and strange like "Oh, I need to take a picture of you little" or "so where's...

Tammy · Tammy

For over 1/2 of my life I have loved a man.. We had children and built a life together that some would say looked perfect. Our love obvious to everyone, just one problem.. My husband is an alcoholic... The drinking got worse with every passing year... Christmas parties became a drunk fest as did weddi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Really need some support now ... (Preview) Hi, kind people. I posted here many months ago about the destruction of my marriage due to this disease. My ex husband and I were using addicts / alcoholics for years together. The birth of our daughter (born addicted) finally brought me to sobriety. I stopped seeing him when sh...	phoebemoonpie	12	592	Jun 30, 2006 by phoebemoonpie
	Saying goodbye... (Preview) is not always a terrible thing to do. I have posted a couple of times about the situation of my father moving very far away. Two days ago I was all over the map emotionally but didnt even realize it. It wasnt until after I raged at my husband and said some very hurtful things that I reali...	AlaMom	1	452	Jun 29, 2006 by cdb
	When was the last time you went to a doctor or dentist, and really took care of yourself? (Preview) Living with an alcoholic seriously affects our feels of self worth. We get sick. We suffer from guilt thinking that we caused the problem, and and we sit at home or at work in worry and fear, anxiety and stress. This makes us sicker. We hold things in and let if fester and grow within us, and our reactions t...	gardengal	8	510	Jun 29, 2006 by hmrnrnmm
	Chat room is coming up (Preview) Hi...I really want to join in on the chat room but the chat room is coming up when I open the page. Everything else opens on the page execpt where the chat should be going on it's just an empty black box. Anyone have any ideas why this is happening and how I can fix it..??? thanks!	daisygirly	1	358	Jun 29, 2006 by confused
	update (Preview) Hi, I posted a couple of weeks ago about my AH almost dying due to alcohol poisoning and how I confronted him after it in a liquor store. He agreed to go to rehab and he has been there for 5 days.Hate to say it, but I have gotten more done in these 5 days than I have in 6 months. I did see a...	evey	2	387	Jun 29, 2006 by AlaMom
	One of life's simple pleasures (Preview) One of mine is sitting in my recliner alone in the early morning while drinking my coffee and watching the hummingbirds outside my window eating from my feeder. Those little birds are so amazing to me. What's yours?	Gailey	6	507	Jun 29, 2006 by cdb
	Brothers court date coming up July 27 - now he lost his part time job! (Preview) Yikes spoke with my mother the other day and now my younger brother who is back in court July 27th lost his part time gas station job! He came to work two hours late - his boss said he gave him enough chances and let him go. He knew he had to "keep his back clean" and now he's done this?! My mother is afraid he'll...	Barbara	2	417	Jun 29, 2006 by cdb
	I'm pregnant!!! (Preview) I found out that I am pregnant and due March 05, 2007. I am a little excited, but mostly terrfied. I can't think of a more irresponsible thing to do. My oldest daughter lives with her dad, I can't afford the two that live with us. My husband is finally getting clean and working a...	Powerless	13	563	Jun 29, 2006 by Tammy
	The money issue (Preview) What are some of the ways you all deal with the money thing? I have become an expert at hiding money, but doing that makes me feel sick, because he is always calling me a liar, and I guess that makes him right, but I don't know how else to deal with it. I am just starting back to work again after 3 years of stayin...	jajanma	4	511	Jun 29, 2006 by seachange
	I feel like a crazy dumbell!! (Preview) I am posting here for the first time. I really need to vent..otherwise I will think about all this all day and it will impact everything I do today (it is only 7 am now!)..and maybe I will even lose my mind more. My husband of 5 1/2 years is an active alcoholic. I knew from the first month toge...	smub	4	502	Jun 29, 2006 by RamzDear
	Life Lesson from a Mule (Preview) A Life Lesson From A Mule A parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer's well. The farmer heard the mule braying. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble o...	txmom	4	397	Jun 29, 2006 by mastiff
	Message Board Fixed! (Preview) Hi Roomies, I just logged back on and the baord is fixed, the posts are now in order of start date!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ty for fixing it Webmaster!	Dolphin123	3	404	Jun 29, 2006 by Christy
	Update! (Preview) I have great news. I now have 3 jobs! I work at Mano's with sporadic hours making $5/hr + tips. I work at Arby's with currently unknown hours but making $6.75/hr. I work at Byrne Dairy my first night is tomorrow 5pm-12am making $6.75/hr. I'm so excited! My hope of going back to UC went from 99.9% of not goin...	Lanchas	2	408	Jun 29, 2006 by david62
	anger and despair (Preview) Hi friend How do you deal with the anger at alcoholics and the despair over your life and what you have to live with the rest of your life? I don't see a bright future for me right now.My life is empty.I have no fun and no love.I am reading the literature.Actually I am reading Getting Them Sober,a book hig...	drucilla06	5	442	Jun 28, 2006 by nmike
	inadequate (Preview) is it common among us (alanoners) to always feel inadequate? i feel like everyone, and i mean everyone, is way smarted than i could ever even hope to be. everyone must know all the things i don't. consequently, i trust that everyone will be better at things that affect my life than i would be. and i have be...	serendipity	1	383	Jun 28, 2006 by dori
	Catch and Release (Preview) Went camping this past weekend.sitting at the lake with fishing pole in hand watching the trees blow softly from the tops of them.Seeing rabbits in the field eating the farmers beets.It was so serene,I said to my self this is serenity.....Nature has a way of finding peace within, if I made the time t...	angel123	7	531	Jun 28, 2006 by Andrea12
	Can't get into my messages (Preview) Okay anybody having problems with getting into their PMs? When someone sent me one, I was able to retrieve it, but no resppond to it. I then clicked on their name to send them a PM and can't do that either. (Heavy sigh), I know great webmaster you have your handsfull, but these new c...	Karilynn	5	546	Jun 28, 2006 by Andrea12
	So sad the choices made... (Preview) Recently I posted about an issue with my active A father and his move a couple thousand miles away. My father said that he would visit all his kids and grandchildren before he leaves. He leaves tomorrow and has yet to do any of what he said. I did expect that this would be the case and am...	AlaMom	2	518	Jun 28, 2006 by MrBlue42
	Daughter's Relapse, Father's Spiteful tongue (Preview) It is after 4am and I can't sleep. I have been away. Yesterday while gone, I got a phone call from my husband. Our daughter relapsed. She stayed out all night and left her dog home for my husband to care of. No communication as to where she was until 3pm. Then my husband yelled at her. She didn't come home unt...	cdb	16	807	Jun 28, 2006 by cdb
	Still wears me out (Preview) My husband and I have been separated for six months now and for the most part, I'm doing well. It's the times that he plays with the money that get to me. He hasn't paid any of the temporary alimony or child support he agreed to since April. I get so upset when I fall into the old traps.... believing hi...	findingmyway	3	546	Jun 28, 2006 by abbyal
	I did it -the pain is gone (Preview) Hi, Remember I was going to the meeting with my ex and his new gf.I went and she was one the speaker.I even shared at the meeting and even thank her for a great share. She did speak of him in her share guess what it didnt hurt the pain was gone no more pain of the lost or any thing it was gone. ...	dori	8	575	Jun 28, 2006 by dori
	Wednesday PM meeting (Preview) Hi everyone, I will be unable to chair tonight's meeting in the chat room. I hope someone can fill in for me. Take care everyone...Happy Wednesday night! David	david62	0	405	Jun 28, 2006 by david62
	Please pray for a rainy day in GA July 4th (Preview) I so wanted to kill her Monday. I had to work 5pm to 10 pm. She knew we had to go make an arrangement to pay off the mobile home she was suppose to work off. I now solely have my name on the payments of paying for the mh & setup. total $1500. Her name is not on it. She half heartedly apologized for it not...	hmrnrnmm	8	657	Jun 28, 2006 by peewee
	ESH - jumbled emotions - finances (Preview) Does this sound weird to anyone? My AH and I have recently reconciled. During and before our separation he was not contributing financially to the household. About 3-4 weeks before we reconciled he began giving me a minimal amount of money each week. I let him know that I...	confused	6	551	Jun 28, 2006 by QOD
	Little ES&h from the heart (Preview) When I first came to Alanon I was numb. All I wanted to do was learn how to get my AH to stop drinking. I wanted to control the situation. I have learned over the past while that I cannot do that. No one can control another’s actions. I was in the room talking to some people the other day and asked them “If your A...	shadow1	9	674	Jun 28, 2006 by Christy
	the holidays (Preview) As anyone who remembers I came in here over the Christmas holiday bereft. My A had as normal gone over to his mother's. I made a nice dinner and he was totally out of it. I vow now not to make another nice dinner for Christmas or even for Thanksgiving and just to take care of msyelf. I know this w...	maresie2	2	421	Jun 28, 2006 by tea2
	The A's drama vs Alanon tools (Preview) (((Hello Group))) In the last couple of days I learned that its real easy to get sucked into the A's drama and forget for a while about using the Alanon tools. I feel that I'm learning to apply the slogans and steps to my life and relationships, but some days it all feels like it went out the window...	twinmom2	4	461	Jun 28, 2006 by Rita G
	he's gone (Preview) I wrote yesterday about my A boyfriend who was missing. He died. I'm lost.	jacksmom	36	1006	Jun 28, 2006 by Andrea12
	still no phoneline but thinking of you all (Preview) Just to let you all know I'm still waiting for the phoneline to be fixed. have begged and pleaded and been made countless promises but things are notoriously S....L.....O.....W here. I do venture to the internet cafe and avail myself of the chance to at least try and read some posts.....it's a slow pro...	chris52	6	505	Jun 28, 2006 by maresie2
	blocked lines of communication (Preview) hi everyone, I think I might be going crazy....certainly can't see the wood fro the trees...can anyone advise me please. My Aboyfriend did a disappearing act for a few days......has been dry for a few months (was in rehab) but had a couple of relapses lately....started smoking dope again as we...	annmarie	7	531	Jun 28, 2006 by annmarie
	Momentary Scream (Preview) Just got off the phone with sons "recovering" alcoholic father. Seems that he got papers to show up in court with son too..... and what is the first words out of his mouth..... why do I have to go???? I don't have any money.... ugggggggh' Ok.... I feel a bit better n...	Cilla	7	498	Jun 28, 2006 by cdb
	update ty,ty,ty (Preview) I just wanted to thank everyone for there thoughts and prayers for my friends daughter. Her test came back negative for leukemia.	shadow1	6	423	Jun 28, 2006 by cdb
	Frightened new comer (Preview) I'm really new to this. I don't know if I am doing the right thing. I do know that my partner of 8 years drinks alot lately and has been terribly hurtful when in that sloppy drunken state. He becomes belittling, condescending, and argumentative when he's drunk. I feel so hurt...	tls515	10	620	Jun 27, 2006 by abbyal
	They are emotionally selfish (Preview) First he goes on a 5 day bender...either passed out or working on getting there. Then when he "comes around," he is angry that I have made plans to spend the evening with a friend. I said, "do you expect me to sit around anxiously awaiting your return? How was I to know today would be the day you sober up? I am...	babysteps	6	650	Jun 27, 2006 by peewee
	Focus on me (Preview) I am determined to send you a post relating only to me and my efforts to recovery. So many times, my posts dwell on what was done to me. Bull..... I am an adult, and should be saying, I allowed this to penetrate my serenity. But, when I fall away from the program, for any length of time...	Belongtome	5	454	Jun 27, 2006 by wallsal55
	Going Away (Preview) Well, going away, but not permanantly. I'm off to see my Mom, sister, and nephew in Kansas (almost 900 miles) from where I live. I am leaving July 1, and coming back on the 8th. I am going alone, and leaving my AH here to take care of the house and the cats (which he hates.) He hates the ca...	Becky1	7	448	Jun 27, 2006 by Becky1
	Went Cold Turkey (Preview) I did not contact my A this weekend as contracted. I hit some bumps and waves but I rode them and made it through. Now I'm going to go through this week in the same style. I am out and staying out. Thanks all for this board. There is no way I could have done this a month ago but between your stories, the fram...	Dog	9	523	Jun 27, 2006 by marchgrl
	Lois Wilson Biography (Preview) Last Thursday I bought the biography of Lois Wilson, When Love is Not Enough. I spent my weekend reading it. IT was wonderful--the story and I needed somehting to keep me occupied since I broke my toe and couldn't really get around.) I haven't quite finished it, but I have really enjoyed it. I have been g...	hudsond	3	414	Jun 27, 2006 by marchgrl
	i don't know (Preview) i went to see a movie with my ah. i think of him now as my ex. he should have been 3 months ago my i have an idiot lawyer. ok that sounds harsh, maybe he's and alcoholic too! he's a master of avoiding. so, we went to the movies and had a nice time, he came back here and played with the kids and stayed for dinn...	serendipity	2	456	Jun 27, 2006 by marchgrl
	Define " recovering alcoholic"? (Preview) Ok, when I think of recovering alcoholic, I thnk of someone that knows they have a problem and is seeking help outside themselves. My A knows there is a problem but that is it. She does not think she needs help. She thinks her problem is under control by herself. Her drinking has slowed down but it has no...	hmrnrnmm	7	1284	Jun 27, 2006 by canadianguy
	cook book update 6/22 (Preview) Hello everyone, I wish to thank everyone that has sent in your recipes! My heart goes out to you for all you hard cooking. The cook book is coming together very slowly. I am in the middle of comprising inspirational daily mediations for each day of the year. This has become very...	John	4	514	Jun 27, 2006 by aunitedway
	I made a decesion to walk away (Preview) I told my ex/bf that I could not see him anymore. That what he was asking me to do, I could not do. He wants me only for the bad times in his life. When he is down and depressed and needs someone to hold him. Some one to snuggle up with. Sex. Those are the only times he needs me. But, When I need someone for t...	sisdragonfly1957	9	657	Jun 27, 2006 by Christy
	new message board format is confusing me (Preview) I don't really get the new format of the message board. When I log on I see posts that are at the top of the board that were there days ago, and then new ones are way below. It seems that they move up as they are replied to not kept in the order in which they were posted. Is this accura...	confused	14	633	Jun 27, 2006 by Rita G
	Lowered expectations ( my last few days) long (Preview) I kinda laugh at that title because Mad TV used to do a spoof on a dating service. That was the title of the skit. Well it fits me now, lol I have tried to lower my expectations & it is working somewhat. I am trying not to keep track of her alcohol consumption. Not actually sure when or how much th...	hmrnrnmm	3	477	Jun 27, 2006 by lin0606
	DELUSION VS DENIAL (Preview) I have heard delusion is when I believe the fantacy I have created about my life . I believe the lies I tell myself on a daily basis . Denial is when I know there is something wrong but deny that is affecting me and my family. I never put a connection to his attiude and the amount of alcohol he was cons...	abbyal	3	1502	Jun 26, 2006 by Andrea12
	He's driving drunk now!!! (Preview)	afmom03	2	418	Jun 26, 2006 by maresie2
	people pleasers?? (Preview) I have read several times here that we are people pleasers and fixers....Several years ago I bought a book entitled "The Need to Please" I saw this trait in myself .....Can someone explain the connection with living with an A. PS I read all the posts daily...they are very help...	Elizabeth M	3	514	Jun 26, 2006 by maresie2
	Threats and enlightenment (Preview) (((((Family))))) Over the past few months my AW has been telling me she's leaving/she wants me to leave, and back and forth. Yesterday she got on the phone with my mom and told her she was moving to her mothers. Of course my mom was floored and called to see what in the world was going on. ...	rtexas	13	752	Jun 26, 2006 by marchgrl
	Confused and Compassionate (Preview) Hi everyone... Just need to vent a little.... things were weird this weekend. My AH has relapsed after a year of sobriety last year and this year has been horrible, I hit my bottom of co-dependency dealing with it. I am learning to detach and it is tough, but the best thing for me th...	hersh	2	565	Jun 26, 2006 by marchgrl
	HoW Many of You Actually Read the Opening and Closing of the Alanon MEetings??? (Preview) I finally understand all of these statements in the opening and closing statements of our meetings.. They are the foundation that sets the program. Which basically says to me, focus on the most important thing which is me. I have been caught in other stuff lately and its just no...	kerry5	9	3297	Jun 26, 2006 by jrtjosey
	I've been thinking alot about the consequences of drunk driving (Preview) Hello ((Everyone)) I know this is a hot button topic for a lot of people, so let me say off the bat I am not trying to hurt or offend anyone. I am trying to figure out what I am comfortable doing and the right way of doing it. I have made the decision that if my AH makes me feel threatened like the...	Jennifer	6	826	Jun 26, 2006 by Jennifer
	Anyone with recovering Addict?? (Preview) My recovering A husband has been clean for 15 months. At first, of course, things were great. His mother passed away about 2 months ago and it seems like we have gone down hill from there. I do feel deep sorrow for his loss and understand he needs his greiving time. About a week...	spaceygurl4	5	620	Jun 26, 2006 by Belongtome
	does HP make the bottom so low so that we as Al-Anoners get it??? (Preview) Hi everyone, Just wanted to post a quick update on how things have been going. My AH and I have been reconciled for almost a month now. Things are really going ok. There are bumps in the road but I think we are both doing our best to handle them as they come along. We started to s...	confused	3	683	Jun 26, 2006 by Christy
	I just can't say NO... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Well... I can, but it turns me wrong side out when it lets anyone down. I am the only one that looks at the money in my house. The demands for entertainment are high. In the past if I have said "that is a bit pricey for us right now", which is as close to saying no as I ge...	rtexas	6	601	Jun 26, 2006 by kitty
	Feelings of loneliness (Preview) I am still battling feelings of lonliness; especially this time of nigt when I feel like it's too late to be calling normal people. I am trying to make friends in the program, but reaching out to people is very difficult for me. I called my sponsor early this morning and she hasn't called me...	Powerless	3	555	Jun 26, 2006 by debilyn
	ESH (Preview) I'm new and have a (silly) question---what is ESH???	Reetry	2	370	Jun 25, 2006 by Reetry
	just thinking outloud... (Preview) (((family))) AH and I have been getting along well.We got the refinance on the house,paid all the credit cards off and got some cash as well to use to finish the half done projects that would keep us from selling the house for a good price. He is still talking to his online girlfriend.He doesn...	drucilla06	2	520	Jun 25, 2006 by Christy
	Scared (Preview) Hello. I have been reading this board for a few months, but have never posted. My situation is that I have been in a relationship with an alchoholic for over 5 years. He has been in and out of rehab, and always goes back to drinking. He finally, at the age of 45, got his first DUI. That, along with a cou...	jajanma	7	449	Jun 25, 2006 by Christy
	A in my face (Preview) My daughter and I left my A in Feb. He has been over every day this week b/c it was his vacation. The past two days he was so overmedicated with prescriptions that he didn't even know what day it was, he said things that were confusing and strange like "Oh, I need to take a picture of you little" or "so where's...	patience	4	495	Jun 25, 2006 by lin0606
	What is worse livng with an A or living without someone you LOVE ? (Preview) For over 1/2 of my life I have loved a man.. We had children and built a life together that some would say looked perfect. Our love obvious to everyone, just one problem.. My husband is an alcoholic... The drinking got worse with every passing year... Christmas parties became a drunk fest as did weddi...	Tammy	12	739	Jun 25, 2006 by kellyjelly
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.