The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last Thursday I bought the biography of Lois Wilson, When Love is Not Enough. I spent my weekend reading it. IT was wonderful--the story and I needed somehting to keep me occupied since I broke my toe and couldn't really get around.) I haven't quite finished it, but I have really enjoyed it. I have been going crazy and have been trying to work up my nerve to take care of me and my family, I needed to hear about someone who made it through o.k. you know. Anyway I found it very "comforting". I don't know if anyone else has read the book but I have enjoyed it.
I went to my first f2f in over 6 months the other night. I did feel better afterwards, but we are really going through a rough patch that I don't know how things are going to end. I am so afraid of conflict--I always have been, but now things are getting to the point where it could be pretty bad if I don't stand up for myself and family. I'm afraid of what will happen (not really physically but mentally and psychiallogically (spelling is wrong) and emotionally!!) I know really that whatever happens, just happens and i will have to deal with it, but I am so bad about the unknown!!!!
Anyway. I have had time today to read some posts. I have spent time with my family and have tried not to think about my ah. Although sometimes I want to head home and I feel sick to my stomach b/c I don't know what he's doing. The truth is I can't stop him from doing what he wants and I can't make him care so I need to take care of me. I am trying to do that today!!!
Ouch!! - Sorry about the broke toe- hope it heals soon. Rest and take care of you. I haven't read that book - I'm sure it is good though.
I would avoid conflict - like the plague - almost to the point of driving myself crazy. But little by little I am learning to voice some of those concerns even if they cause conflict. Sometimes, they conflict is only in my mind, but sometimes it does cause conflict and we have to work through it. But One Day At a Time - One Conflict At a Time.
Thanks for sharing about the book - I may try to find it after I finish reading Al-Anon's 12 & 12.
Heal quickly -
Rita
__________________
No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
I am glad that you found Lois's story enlightening. I read a biography of the Wilson's a while ago and found it inspiring too. I also bring in my own ideas/thoughts/what I have learned about dysfunctional families. I think that the pioneers of AA did a great job. I also think Lois did a great job in working with the families. They really provided support for each other as we do here.
I am sorry your toe was broken. I have had my own share of illness since I was with the A. Most of it I dealt with on my own. I am a little tired of that. I want someone who wants to be with me and take care of me when I am sick, not run off and abandon me as he does. Well the other thing he does is to blame me for being sick. I did not do that to him when he was sick.
take care of yourself. Learn new skills as you can, don't beat yourself up.
I need to go buy that book. I love Biographies. Keep your chin up and work on you. I was told a long time ago that the best thing I can do for my AH was to set an example. I then started working on myself and miracles were happening in my life. It was not the way I wanted my life to be at the time but HP was making miracles in my life when I worked on loving myself. I had these plans that if I changed he would and our life would be wonderful. Well, HP had other plans for me and worked his miracles. I am now strong enough to see who I am which was totally lost years ago by working the program and just praying daily,daily,daily....
do something wonderful for you today...give yourself a hug
