I so wanted to kill her Monday. I had to work 5pm to 10 pm. She knew we had to go make an arrangement to pay off the mobile home she was suppose to work off. I now solely have my name on the payments of paying for the mh & setup. total $1500. Her name is not on it. She half heartedly apologized for it not being there. Oh, she will pay towards it too she says. She refuses to work off the debt with the friend that purchased the mh for us. that friend chewed her out and called her a drunk several months ago. She was all nice over there then we got ready to leave a little after 4pm. It was only half an hour for me to get to work. but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO She had to take HER truck, she could not be without it for 5 hours. It is all my fault I have had 3 years to get my truck to the mechanic to get fixed. She was sober at least I think she was,  I told her all my money I have been earning has been going to DR visits or keeping HER truck on the road. did not matter though. 

Seems she forgot that my mom provided the credit card to purchase & install the last engine & transmission that went into the truck. Did she offer to repay her? NO she seems to have forgotten that. I feel like shit because we both put her in debt & she filed for bankruptcy in 05. does the A acknowledge it? NO money grows on trees or so she seems to think. We are missing $74 dollars from back in March but as always it is my fault we can not find it. If it was spent I must have done it. Why do I keep getting with people that are so perfect? Why the H@$% would they want to get with a mistake such as me? I hate this stupid game.

 So Last nite she does come and pick me up on time. I asked her to get on the other side so I could drive home. I knew she had probably been drinking. NOPE She refused to budge. She drove home. We hit the side of the white line a few times. I kept praying all the way home. 15 miles. We did make it. Of course she could not shut up till around midnite. She went on about what a bad person she was because she drank. Please send me a big can of that " shut the heck up". I had called earlier in the evening to make sure I could take her a day early to her housesitting job. They said it was ok. We have been friends for a couple of years with these people. So my A took 3 times to sink in that it was ok. What a migraine! I went to bed mad. I could have killed her just to get her to shut the H&%$ up!

I had an 8 am appt for an ultrasound to see if my spleen has gotten more enlarged. I woke up with the alarm clock around 6:30am, I thought I hit the snooze button. I woke up again at 8 am. I called the hospital and they said come on in. We feed most of the dogs and left. I had a 10 am appt with my shrink.  I finally lost it today. I broke down and cried on the phone in the hospital lobby. My A had gone to the truck to throw up. I have been stuffing down my feelings for so long. pretending it is a wonderful world. My shrink said it sounds like my A is a small child. Yeah, terrible twos for 40 something years. at last I can walk away from this adult child in public and not get arrested for being a bad parent. How can I not blame her for my being late today? I know I could have made it on time but she did not help.

I have gotten rid of her, my " A" till July 5 maybe 6th. We went to dinner with our friends. "A" kept saying how stupid she was the nite before. She has no way to get her fix while there. boo hooo. I will enjoy my peace & quiet. I have caller id so if she calls, I will think about answering.

the answering machine was full of messages of someone looking for dogs that we do not have. seems the A told someone about some dogs someone else has & our number was given out. I did call & tell her & she is like well just ignore all calls.

A neighbor told me my A tried to get her to steer my truck over to the mechanics at 8:30pm. My truck has no battery, no power also no lights without the battery. A was going to tow my truck to the mechanics place while I was working.  Pray that she will grow a brain too.

I am not too happy about the upcoming schedule at work. Seems everyone claims they had made plans a while ago for the 4th of July. There is a calendar that appts & time off or vacations are posted on. that day is blank. So I am getting stuck with working 8pm to 8am. I was scheduled to work 2pm to 8 pm now no one has that shift.  I am not looking at going out and having fun. My fear is my dogs. The idiots out here in the country in GA where fireworks are illegal have a party. Fireworks are usually shot off for several days. With the weather being so dry, we are in a drought at this time. One year we went looking for whom ever was shooting off the fireworks at midnite. they had done it for too many hours we were going crazy. We got next to a church an a grass fire was a blazing from the fireworks display that had been set and abandoned by the partiers we never found. We were able to put out the fire with a shovel. No one lived nearby and the building & woods could have burnt down. Another year we held a shaking 80lb rottie while the next door neighbor shot off bottle rockets into our dogs pen & into our yard. So again my fear, My dogs freak out during thunderstorms. We have had vet costs incured due to them turning on each other while afraid. We have 29 dogs only 8 are out doors. So please everyone pray for rain, lots of it in my neighborhood sans the lightening & thunder on the 4th of July. And pray my furbabies will be safe home alone. I will set up the stereo loud so as to drown out the fireworks. and pray there will be no fires as a result of others ignorance. 

 I have decided I am going to a f2f meeting Thursday lunch bunch hour after I get off work 8am Thursday. I have no business driving while tired but my angels will be working overtime watching over me.