Feeling so down today! - Al-Anon Family Group

sisdragonfly1957 · Veteran Member

Feeling so down today!

Mobirdie · Senior Member

((sis))

There are a lot of things you can do for yourself. First, talk to your HP, he is always there to listen. If you have a sponsor, a call list from F2F meetings, call someone and talk to them. Whatever you do, just do something, anything to keep yourself busy, get your mind refocased in another direction. Yes you are hurting but you don't have to hurt quite so bad all of the time unless you choose to.

Even though you are not together anymore, you are still letting him consume your every thought and action. It's your life, take it back and live it... One day at a time.

JulieLynn · Senior Member

Dragonfly,

I know exactly how you feel. My husband and I are seperated. We have been since November. When we first seperated he did not call me for 6 weeks. I was so depressed and feeling, like you, how could he not call and check on me or how can he act like he doesn't care about me. And at the time the last thing I wanted to hear from anyone is that he was an alcoholic and didn't love himself so how could he love me. I am sure that you will get alot of responses telling you to take the focus off of him and put it on yourself and get busy. That is a piece of advice that I recommend that you take. At first it may seem hard but it will get easier. You also may want to pick up a copy of "Getting Them Sober" which was a big help for me. One of the things that it says in there is that it's hard to get rid of an alcoholic and that is so true. Once I was "armed" with that information I was able to take the focus off of him and put it back on me. I started reading again, exercising, going off with my girlfriends, shopping, attending meetings, anything you can do to keep busy. After about 6 weeks my husband did call me. Since then we have gone thru several times of him getting mad and not speaking to me for weeks. Now, for me, I take advantage of those times to pamper myself. My husband and I have not reconciled but we do see each other from time to time and for me that is ok for today.

Take care of yourself.

Julie

nmike · ~*Service Worker*~

dragonfly,

I hear you! Sometimes holidays are the worst because they are having a ball with friends with not a care in the world. Talking to us reminds them of their responsibilities. It is much easier to be with friends and no commitments. I have been separated from my AH (sober) for a year. He comes and goes as he pleases. At least you set a deadline. Which is worse, thinking that they will call and they don't or that they just won't call? I think that this is about getting our personal power back.

It is just out of our control and that is tough. We can do this though. We have our HP is we just listen closely enough. I am looking at a weekend alone because I am pet sitting, watering my neighbors garden, and watching for fires (we have had 4 in areas this last week). So I am planning on making the best of the situation.

In support,

Nancy

aunitedway · ~*Service Worker*~

The answer to ~ ( feeeling down is to turn it around ) YOU CAN DO IT! i say; I CAN I CAN I CAN Depends only upon You. You have the choice to believe in your., even to depend on your Higher Power to guide you. ((HP/God)) and then I say., TO ME~~~GIRL~~"get busy!" ... and I find something positive to focuse on. I get up and go outside, work in my garden.... or ... go make some lemonade and sit out on the patio and watch the wonderful birds. I have a bird feeder that brings lovelys around all year long. I let myself take in the beauty of a small bird. ..... SO~ *get up* and do something nice for yourself. See a movie or visit the library.... take a nice evening walk and take in the things around you. not the bad thoughts inside you. let go of that.... YOU CAN. It will be there when you get back. And probably wont be sooo important anymore- or soooo dramatic to me any longer..... or so obsessed of it.....any longer.... because *time ((TIME)) has taken care of it. all by itself. without my input or my keeping a rein on it or any thing at all. I - in turn - got to enjoy some of my life. The moments. The minutes. The NOW.

Meditation and Breathing is EXCELLENT- "STOP!" the bad thoughts..... and "CLEAR!" my head of any thought. Each breathe - I inhale "FAITH" and I exhale FEAR. (meditation is a very good thing also even if for a few minutes a different times of the day) A lil' meditation and deep breathing can change my entire prospective as it opens doors to my mind just by letting my self relax. I CAN~ Let Go and Let God have those things I can not control. I CAN. Practice the steps. This is part of it.

To start feeling better To stop the funk ~ I GET UP AND GO to an Alanon meeting. Call a friend from the group *or come here to share. I GO to the chatroom and let it out, just listen sometimes and HP will show me that I AM NOT ALONE.... so I sit and share and I take it in....((GOOD STUFF)) ... always can get some sound experience, strength and hope (ES&H.) from such wonderful loving and supportive persons here! (Alanon) I never regret letting ME be around those that really do understand me. I can share with all of them.... I can listen to them as they share and give their own personal es&h and I can be reassured by all that I am not alone with this terrible disease. (what part it has or is doing to my family and to me.)

Keep Working IT! Your Worth IT! WORK IT WORK IT WORK IT!!!

(((BiGdaisyHUG))) Keep Looking uP! Keep Coming Back!

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