The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi: I'm Barbara. I'm new here and have only posted once. I am having a hard time with people. I think I'll become a non people. My husband is not speaking to me. We had a fight 3 days ago. I kept it from esculating into a screaming match by using technicques I am learning in theraphy. He is not an alcholic. Just a big bossy manipulative jerk. He like to scream at me and that makes crazy. I have ended up in the er in the past because I loose it when he yells. He scares me and makes me terribly angry and hurt. I feel so stupid. His family have all been drinkers. I believe his mother was an alcholic. His father died when he was 8 years old. Always alcahol around. If you didn't want a drink there was something wrong with you. My family of origin has addiction and alcohol problems. My Father was an alcholic. My three brother were drinkers and the youngest had a big problem with alcohol. He is sober now and has been for years. But we all know the effects of alcholism on a sensitive young girl. I was the baby and only girl. I just never learned to handle people. I have lived with shame and fear and depression. I lost my son 21/2 years ago to an overdose of morphine. I just want people to love each other and to love me and to treat me with respect and to realize that I am not always wrong. First, tho, I have to believe in myself. I hate beong punished for saying how I feel. And for defending myself.
i'm so glad your here and sharing with us, it's nice to meet you barbara! Everything you wrote in how you are feeling is exactly how i felt when i first came to alanon, so, i guess that means you are not alone, in fact, there are many many many more of us that have the same maybe not exact but simular song to sing. I hope i can encourage you to look in your local area for a face to face group and get to some meetings. You will hear other members share experience strenght and hope. We have meeting in our chat room here too if you could get to one of those i'd sure love to see you there!
You are no longer alone, welcome home my new friend, Trina aka Mastiff
Welcome, Barbara!! Sounds like you are in the right place. I had alot of the same feelings when I first came here. Alanon has taught me how to believe in myself and to not accept unacceptable behavior. I am so sorry to hear about your son. I so hope you will try out some meetings. There is a link above to our chat/ meeting room here. You will meet alot of people who have felt the same way you are feeling right now. Also try to find a face to face meeting in your area. Not only will you find people who have been or are right where you are now, but you will find lots of hugs, experience, strength and hope. Sure hope I see you in chat, ((((barbara))). I could relate to so much of your post.
Hello meoww, boy u brought back memories with your post ,my husb used to do that to me andit drove me nuts . after a meeting a lady said to me "have u ever thought of enjoying the silence"? I looked at her like she was nuts .and she smiled and said think about it ,he isn't screaming complaining or picking you apart ENJOY! she said to turn up the music and dance let him have his bad mood .
Well i started to do that ad you know the moods never lasted that l ong after that (she had reasured me that they wouldn't ) if i don't react or walk around like a wounded bird he gets bored with the who le t hing . try it it really does work and u will feel alot better cause your not being put down. Louise
Hi Barbara, Welcome, you've come to the right place.
So many people here will be able to understand your pain...and hopefully by talking about it, it may seem a bit easier to cope with. I have had a lot of the fear you talk about myself. I too grew up in an alcoholic home....I didn't catch the alcoholism, but I caught the dependancy and the fear and all the negativity and hurt that goes with it.
But, I found these pages, and people here have been very kind, and I'm getting my way through. It takes time, but the first step is always the hardest.
Hi: I'm Barbara. I'm new here and have only posted once. I am having a hard time with people. I think I'll become a non people. My husband is not speaking to me. We had a fight 3 days ago. I kept it from esculating into a screaming match by using technicques I am learning in theraphy. He is not an alcholic. Just a big bossy manipulative jerk. He like to scream at me and that makes crazy. I have ended up in the er in the past because I loose it when he yells. He scares me and makes me terribly angry and hurt. I feel so stupid. His family have all been drinkers. I believe his mother was an alcholic. His father died when he was 8 years old. Always alcahol around. If you didn't want a drink there was something wrong with you. My family of origin has addiction and alcohol problems. My Father was an alcholic. My three brother were drinkers and the youngest had a big problem with alcohol. He is sober now and has been for years. But we all know the effects of alcholism on a sensitive young girl. I was the baby and only girl. I just never learned to handle people. I have lived with shame and fear and depression. I lost my son 21/2 years ago to an overdose of morphine. I just want people to love each other and to love me and to treat me with respect and to realize that I am not always wrong. First, tho, I have to believe in myself. I hate beong punished for saying how I feel. And for defending myself.