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Well, going away, but not permanantly. I'm off to see my Mom, sister, and nephew in Kansas (almost 900 miles) from where I live. I am leaving July 1, and coming back on the 8th. I am going alone, and leaving my AH here to take care of the house and the cats (which he hates.) He hates the cats. Not the staying home alone, because he will be at a friends house every. single. night. He can't stand to be by himself.
I am kinda nervous about going, because last July when I went, he told me he was going to move out while I was gone. But, he didn't. I think it was just the alcohol talking. Anyway, I will not have an internet connection while I am gone, and I so love just being about to come here and vent. So, I am going to write a journal instead, for the time I am gone. I have to do something to keep my sanity. I love my Mom to pieces, but she is almost 86, very stubborn, and opinionated. God, give me strength. I know I need to cherish the time with her, and I am so lucky to still have her, but I am used to being alone a lot of the time, while my A is at friend''s houses, and I will be with my Mom constantly, and boy, she likes to talk! LOL
I am going to trust HP to take care of my husband while I am gone, and to watch over him. That's all I can do. And, I'm taking all my Alanon books, and Getting Them Sober books to re-read. And, I'm taking a little "Princess" cross-stitch picture to make for my granddaughter.
Guess that's all for now. Just needed to get some of my feelings out. Thanks.
Becky, sounds like you have things covered, so just enjoy your time , and have lots of needlework along ! Maybe you can go out shopping for stitching supplies while you're there, get a break from Mom that way. I understand what you say about being with stubborn opinionated Mom 24/7. Yes, learn all you can from her, but keep yourself together too....sanity :) Get out for air often , lol.
I will be going away too, so probably won't be seeing you here for some weeks. Safe journeys to both of us :)
Have a safe, fun and healthy trip. An A is gonna do what an A is gonna, and there's nothing we can do about it. Turn him over to his HP.
Enjoy this time with your Mom. I never knew how much I missed the sound of my mother's voice until she was gone. Give her an extra hug for me from a daughter who misses her Mom. Tell her I said thank you for sending me such a remarkable friend.
I'll say an extra prayer for you. Piper will say an extra prayer for your kitties. Taking a few things to keep you sane during vacation is a great idea. I learned to do that while I was on the road so much for work. I like the idea of journaling. I now do that on the computer as I can't read my writing any more!
Happy Trail my friend. Hurry home to us. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I hope you make time for you on your trip. I went to see my mother years ago and felt trapped. I did not make time for me. I ended up being sick. Of course I did not have a program then I do now. I have a great program now which sustains me on so many levels and also people to reach out to. I hope you also get time to go to a computer and check in with us.
It seems to me that A's often threaten to leave in order to keep us off balance. My A threatens it weekly. I no longer say anything when he does it.
Libraries have internet connection...maybe there is one close to where you are vacationing? Certain hotels have them too.....just a thought.
My mom is a pain sometimes. She is alcoholic. But, I know I have to see her because she IS my mom and what I like to do is think about all of the great qualities she has and bring them up to her when I see her. That seems to disarm some of her negativity. She is a great cook so I ask her what are some of her new reciepts...she is a great seamstress so I ask her what has she sewn lately. I know this won't take me far in conversation but when she starts gossiping or getting negative I try to sway her in a different direction if you know what I mean and if it gets too much I detach and dismiss myself and take a long walk and talk to my HP. I go see a movie or do something alone. I don't know if you go to church but that might be something you could do together that is positive.
Have a good time regardless and don't worry about your AH as much. Try to detach from all of that and relax. You have been a good person to him Im sure...
Thanks to all for your comments, it has made me feel stronger. Usually, when I visit my Mom, I can use her car to run around a little (very little, as she has to know every. little. detail) but she has stopped driving and sold her car. One time, years ago, all my sisters were there at the same time visiting, and we went to the Mall. We were gone only a couple of hours, and she was ready to call the police, she was so worried about us being gone so long.
She can't walk too far, has trouble with her feet hurting so much, so even tho she wants to go somewhere, she ends up miserable. My little 4'8" mom is the strongest woman I know. She left my A dad, because she didn't want us girls (4 of us) to grow up around it. So, she moved to another state with us, and we say Daddy on holidays, and he called once a week, and paid his child support. She always said she was still in love with him when she left, but she couldn't live with the drinking. He was also a workacholic, so all the house and kids fell to her to take care of. He died 9 years after the divorce due to alcoholism. My mother is very attractive, but she never ever even dated anyone.
She is fiercely loyal and protective of her daughters and family....but to the point of "hovering" over us. I don't want to say anything to ever hurt her feelings, she is almost 86, after all, and is not likely to change. But, yeah, that many days of confinement is hard, but then I get to feeling guilty for feeling that way, because I know I am so lucky to have had a good mom and still have her!
Thanks for the suggestions. She and my sister and nephew attend the same church, so we will be going there Sunday morning. It is the same church I attended when I lived in Wichita, and where my water broke when I was pregnant with my daughter, back in April 1976, right after communion! I will be able to take a walk, she naps sometimes in the afternoons. And my sister lives right across the street, and only works 1/2 days, so she'll be home in the afternoon and evening most of the time.
The one thing that really bugs me, and I know it is so silly, is that my mom is a very sparse eater. I mean, really. She is so tiny, and she always has been a very light eater, probably why she is so healthy still. But, like for lunch, we'll have some Club crackers, and maybe some cheese, and fruit. Cereal for breakfast. Soup for supper. So different than what hubby and I eat...bacon, eggs, biscuits and gravy, steaks, burgers, etc. I about starve to death when I go to my mom's, but I could stand to lose a little weight, OK, about 30 lbs. (which she always reminds me about), so I should just consider the trip as "going to a spa". I mean people spend a lot of $$$$ to hire personal chefs who only cook healthy stuff! Anyway, when I get off the plane when I get home, hubby always takes me out for a big meal, cos he knows I am famished.
I am feeling more positive after getting some of this off my mind, thank you so much. It helps to put the words in writing. I'll have time to give myself manicures, read, write in a journal, take walks, cross-stitch, and lose weight. I'll be a new woman come July 8th! LOL.
Taking a few things to keep you sane during vacation is a great idea. I learned to do that while I was on the road so much for work. I like the idea of journaling. I now do that on the computer as I can't read my writing any more! 
One time, years ago, all my sisters were there at the same time visiting, and we went to the Mall. We were gone only a couple of hours, and she was ready to call the police, she was so worried about us being gone so long.
I will be able to take a walk, she naps sometimes in the afternoons. And my sister lives right across the street, and only works 1/2 days, so she'll be home in the afternoon and evening most of the time. 