I've spent many years trying to get to the stage where I could actually admit I was powerless over alcohol, and that my life had become unmanageable.

I think the main problem was that I always assumed that I was in the midst of other people's problems. Problems caused by As in my life as I saw it. And being as I was unable to change anyone elses behaviour, how could I possibly be in a position to do anything about it.

Anyway, this last year has been a big turning point for me. I've had so many lessons made available to me, and with the tough times came many realisations.

So, now I am at last on the path to my own recovery. I have goood days and some very tough days, but somehow I get through. I have huge emotion surges, and am sure I can be a nightmare to live with at times. (I think I have the stubborness that I witness in so many As)


But, I admit now, and I know (I know I'm growing still, and still have a lot to learn) that I am indeed powerless over the alcohol...powerless over the effect it has on people in my life.....and I concede. I give up trying to work it out, and trying to make sense of it all, and trying to put things right for other people.

My life is indeed unmanagable I would say.....I have a job and all the necessities....so not many people can see how unmanagable it actually is. People think I'm okay. I seem secure to others.

But the truth is, I am emotionally unstable. I seem to attract addicted people to me so I can fix them. I cannot sustain a regular relationship. I don't know how. I do not have a loving relationship, nor do I have children. These are the things that really matter to me.

So, I surrender wholly now. I am powerless over alcohol and my life is unmanagable.

On a positive note, I have gained a freedom in this insight. And now I've stopped trying to fix it all for the A in my life.

Now the fixing is for me............................................

For me this is a big breakthrough........thanks for listening
AM