Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mf310 · mf310

She's sleeping in the guest room now at my request. While I was online, she came upstairs, went right to that room and shut the door. Very out of character for her not to say goodnight. 15 minutes later, I went in and she woke up and looked at me with that stupid "I've been drinking" grin. I men...

brownie · brownie

My partner stopped drinking about 1 month ago. He has been on a home detox programme. I don't know what is happening to him at the moment. It's like living with 2 different people. One minute he's ok the next he's a mad man. Never seen him like this before. It is breaking my heart. He was fine yesterday when...

serendipity · serendipity

i was at my f2f tonight and a friend brought up a topic of powerlessness. her son worrying about his father (her ex). and another friend said how nice that she has raised a son who can care deeply and express his feelings. i just love when people can turn our sorrows into joys. it is all in the perspective. a...

peewee · peewee

Got out 4 books to bring self down from anger level, and here's what showed up: "I don't have to react instantly to provocation, and I am not obligated to justify myself to anyone." "Defending ourselves by engaging in arguments with actively drinking or otherwise irrational people is as fruitle...

Lanchas · Lanchas

I'm 19. I'm still unsure where I feel most comfortable.....on this board or the Alateen board. I also have been thinking of actually going to a f2f Al-Anon meeting but I'm unsure. Anyways.... How old are some of you? Lanchas

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

last night i cried AGAIN!!! i am lying in bed last night, getting ready for sleep, and it hit me!! here i am goin on 60 this month and i **feel** like i MISSED out on life.....the abuse-- the resultant addictions/ codependency disease, u know, the aftershocks of the trauma, and NOW, i get my...

mf310 · mf310

So what if I just want her to go away? And thus begins my rambling for the day. Should I ignore the drinking? Yep. Do I? Nope. Why? Here's the issue I have with letting her "get away" with the drinking. Like many stories I've seen here, she denies drinking eve...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hello Everyone I haven't posted in a while, I guess I've been withdrawn in my own little world. Basically I've been plodding along from day to day but not really feeling much peace. I threw my back out and its been pretty bad for the last week. Being in pain really drains me and depr...

d53sjurne · d53sjurne

Well, at least there is a plan to relocate. I thought it might be in a few weeks. I called to get sq.footage of apt and found out only mailing app today and may be 2-3 wks to process and maybe some weeks after to move in. The isolation gets soooo hard to deal with. I used to be able to have a bus just down the stree...

megan · megan

Hi my friends old and new. I am dating. I am on 3 different dating websites and my email box is full. I have even progressed to meeting 2 people in real life. One not suitable and the other makes my heart beat fast and my pulse quicken. The one I like is eerily similar to my husband. Profess...

emma · emma

I have been praying to HP all day ... since yesterday. Let go, let God. Detach. Believe it will be OK, HP, please help me do the next right thing... these are all my mantras today. My most difficult challenge with this program is not just feeling like someone is ...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Hello Everyone)))) Been out of town for our aniversery and it started off miserably. All last week, my AW said she didn't want to go, didn't like the place I picked, wanted me to take the kids and she would stay home.... on and on. The disease at it's best. Well, we settled on the kid...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Hi, I am 50. My qualifier is my spouse. Welcome any time to this board. My experience with alanon, mixed ages, same feelings even though different situations, environments. One alanon shoe size does not fit all, so that is why you have a choice. ...

brownie · brownie

Hi Everyone. I'm new to this site. Like everyone else I need a little help. My partner of 8 years Paul is an Alcoholic. He has been on a detox programme. He detoxed at home for 2 weeks with the help of tablets and the doctors. The last few days I think he has been having Vodka. He has been acting drunk. Whe...

zoolander101 · zoolander101

I'm new here, please bare with me When my stepson got out of rehab (drugs and alcohol) we were told that we needed to go home and clean out the closets so-to-speak. My husband and I didn't have anything to throw-away as we are not drinkers/druggers so there was no problem there. We did however, lock up S...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

i just wanted to thank U guys for taking time to "hug" me in my world of hurt here i am working the steps on having to accept that all i may get out of this program is to love/treat me and others better... there may NOT be any lights at the end of the tunnel...there may NOT be any be...

angel123 · angel123

I never fgure out whether a happy incident is a lovely ending or a beautiful beginning. Feeling are not right or wrong they just are. It's easier to ask "How Important Is it?" than carry resentment. Serenity is choosing to live with things as they happen,not choosing them to happen as you wish...

kitty · kitty

It has been hard to deal with, it comes in waves. Being bombarded lately, even though I have come out of the dumps a bit, it still does such a number in your head, on your self-esteem/psyche... it is SO hard to remember hurt people... hurt people & not to take it personally but I have so mu...

jacksmom · jacksmom

Thanks, everyone, for listening (reading) and responding. I appreciate all comments. I am a fairly new Al-Anon member. I attend meetings locally. This is my first online posting. I am living apart from my A boyfriend. We lived together for several years, b...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Quick question for those that have sponsored. . . My one year anniversary in the program is in November. I have worked the steps, go to 5 meetings a week and currently sponsor 3 newcomers. My sponsor says that I am living and breathing the program, tha...

Rita G · Rita G

My brother in law called asking for help in making a decision - wanted to put the situation out there to see if you think my reasoning is healthy??? Brother in law's daughter from 1st marriage is going on senior trip to cancun, he and his second wife were going as chaperones. His wife had e...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

Sheesh, some of you may remember that song from the late 60's. "They are coming to take me away ha ha........." I feel like that lately. I have my HP working overtime restoring me to sanity. My A is driving me nuts. I don't think she has drank in the last few days. But I suppose she thi...

marmare · marmare

How do I know when I have had enough. When will I be full and not take anymore. The cycles make me feel insane. I am tired of the I'm sorrys, I wasn't doing anything wrong and the famous....your the one I want to be with. I'm so tired, with my mom dying I can't deal with the crap that...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I heard something from my home group last week that I thought I should share with those working on recovery. The following statement is so profound, it is: "Pain is the only knife sharp enough to cut through denial" It reminded me of how long I fought and struggled against the d...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))))), I just got back from the ICU and seeing hubby. His pancreas has been damaged. The past 2 weeks that he has been staying with his friend from rehab (the one he saved a couple of months ago from a heroine overdose) he hasn't been able to ke...

Christy · Christy

As some of you know.... Last month my son's first car was hit by a truck and totaled (son was fine). He had it 6 weeks. We lost $700.00 on the deal and took it with a grain of salt. Insuranse would only give us X amount. So we found him another car for a good price. A red 1993 Mitsubishi Eclipse. Old, but h...

kitty · kitty

For personal complications I have avoided the site all together for a time... and it didn't take long for my mind to slip completely & fall into the preying brain suck of depression. I need the outlet, support & grounding, for as much as I know, truly each moment I'm a beginner and all o...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

I understand that an A must be allowed to suffer the consequences of his actions if he is ever going to seek help or admit a problem soooo isn't one of these consequences my hurt and anger and the wedge it places in our relationship. If I pretend that everythig is fine and ignore last n...

patience · patience

Somebody please tell me I am not crazy. Giving pills like Vicodine, Valiums, Oxyconton (sp?) to your son, age 25, is just sick. My husband has a back injury and abuses his medication to the point that he's throwing up while driving or sometimes in the middle of a meal and can only make it to the kitchen sin...

dusk2dawn · dusk2dawn

I've just removed my A sister from my life. Can't take being jerked around anymore. Haven't seen who I always knew as my sister for years. She has managed to keep my family in turmoil for so long. It's as if I've buried someone. But then, it's as if she died so long ago.&n...

patrice · patrice

Hello to my brothers and sisters on the path of recovery. I have been with my man for almost two years now. At first I was in some denial about his alcoholism as he is a very functional drunk and I figured hey lot's of ladies stay with alcohoic men and go to alan-on to get relief. Believe it or not, I once actua...

debilyn · debilyn

Well after going clear out to the toolyboons with my Brownijoy , my chocolatelab/rottie pup, to pick up two NIgerian goats.. don't ask, the day was getting fuller. They had too many goats. Were wonderfully taken care of, but the gal did not smile once. Seemed like life was a chore f...

Akasha · Akasha

I've just hung up the phone w/ my A. He is high again. He's used more per diem money to pay for his drugs. This time, there is no paycheck to cover it. He is supposed to have the money tomorrow for the crew going out of town. I told him that when he wanted to get well to let me know.&...

rio · rio

Right now I don't care!!! I had my last drink while out with friends when my husband was in rehab. It'll be three years in November. What did I do as soon as hubby left for the Alano club tonight? I went across the street to the party store and bought myself a pint of watermelon sc...

angelnomore · angelnomore

Dear Friends How is everyone today? I hope well, today is Saturday June 3, 2006 and usually I would be spending the day with my A-boyfriend or a least talking on the phone with him to plan a day adventure with him. But today I won’t be, in fact never. As most of you know he bro...

d53sjurne · d53sjurne

Going on 10 months

Been here since Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. That was bad enough to loose everything and have to find anew. Being back in touch with A-dau and A-m...

MdmDragonfly · MdmDragonfly

Well, my A has decided to go to rehab on Monday. We went and got everything set up on Friday and they got him a bed asap. He'll be gone for at least 28 days. He has cut off contact with his drinking buddies and is having his dad and another AA friend take him to the rehab. BUT, this weekend has been Hell so far....

dwa1163 · dwa1163

THIS IS MY FIRST POST. I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO ATTEND MY ONLINE MEETINGS BECAUSE I AM OUT OF TOWN AND BECAUSE OF THIS NIGHTMARE I HAVE BEEN LIVING SINCE APRIL 11. I FINALLY GOT THE COURAGE TO LEAVE MY A OF 27 YEARS. I MET A MAN IN OREGON ABOUT A YEAR AGO. FLEW OUT TO BE WITH HIM MANY TIMES. WE FELL IN LOVE AT FIRST SI...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((Family)))))))))), Just thinking out loud here. Ever since I asked hubby to leave, I have been awfully calm about all of this. I'm wondering if I'm almost too calm.

Now granted I don't have the chaos to come home too because he was drinking. I am slowly put...

Barbara · Barbara

Adopted 2 bunnies yesterday Painters coming this morn to give estimate on painting our main floor - dining/living, kitchen, 2 bedrooms & 2 baths. Its me with the $ in savings and its time to start spending it! I dont need A husband's approval to open my savings account! Also have a grassman com...

marmare · marmare

Just a little prayer, that I continue to work my program and have the strength not to talk to the disease. I worked very late last night out observing a job at the job site, I have now been accused of being selfish and cheating on my A. I am asking my HP to guide me with my words and actions. Hugs M...

LittleWing · LittleWing

Before I Turned Into A ButterFly [img]I was released into a world that was unfamilure. Falling from a tree that stood high in the sky. Laying there lifeless and confused I finally had the will to crawl and find my way Where I was going was unknown But, I started out for my journey ...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hello Group, This morning a light bulb went off for me.

My A called to say hi and I love you... I expressed to him that I missed him and wanted to see how things were going for him. He said fine. O.K. maybe I should have left it at that, but I needed to say how I have be...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

Having a hard time understanding this program....I have to change...I have to become this perfect compasionate calm caring person who sees the glass half full and sees the A as a person who can't help himself(poor him)..Really struggling with how I am suppose to respond(not react) st...

debilyn · debilyn

I decided not to write then changed my mind. A called me collect from jail. Told him what was happening with his family. Then he got on how he did not know what he would do when he got out. I replied, "it is totally up to you." He comes back with, "My options are very limited." I told him we have been togeth...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Just thinking about a couple of "aha" moments in my recovery, kind of 'lines in the sand' that are memories, and perhaps stepping stones for me finally "getting it" and moving towards a healthier life for me.... 1. Blame - I was at a family conference at my ex-wife's treatment center, and was talking...

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

OK I have had several respond interested in the "Pen Pal Club"...could everyone do me a HUGE favor and PLEASE send me an email with your info: real full name "snail mail" address birthday (optional) AlAnon anniversary date (optional) any other info please email THIS info to: &nb...

Little Lisa · Little Lisa

Well, it took me 43 years to get here and honestly I don't quite know where "here" is or if it's where I need to be. There is so much to say...I feel like I am opening a can of worms, but, I don't know that I can continue this balancing act much longer. I have been depressed since high school, on anti...

rio · rio

My husband has been an alcoholic for the entire time that we've been together. He was drunk the night we met and he was drinking on our first date. We were both very young then...he was 22 and I had just turned 19. I chalked it up to the typical young adult craziness that most of u...

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

We have 5 people interested in the "PEN PAL CLUB"

If anyone is interested, PM me your address & if you want it shared with others, your B-day and etc info. I will have everything organized to start it up by mid or end of next week. LOVE and BEST WISHES!!! Jen

Dog · Dog

I went to my first f2f meeting last night…people were incredibly warm and welcoming but honestly I was left wondering if I ought to go to an AA. Not instead of Al-Alon, but in addition to. Because although I definitely have al-anon type problems, what is primary for me in the short term…what is acute f...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Good Morning (((Everyone))) I'm a little confused this morning. My AH told his family he filed for divorce. It made me angry that he lied once again and asked why he would do that ... they were bad mouthing me ... saying I had put too much guilt on him over the years, that he deserved to be happy. I l...

Lexie · Lexie

Hello (((((((friends)))))) I am still unable to get into the chat room. I have registered four times with starchat and have never heard back from them. I will continue to try to work this out, so I can join you all again. In the meantime, just know that I am missing you guys and the meeting...

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

I dont know WHAT the deal was last night, but I all of a sudden went into panic mode about my A, who I have not spoken to in 11 days now.

I am doing so well with my recovery, getting stronger, feeling more confident, calm and accepting.

I have even been talking to God in prayer and instead of be...

DrystaneDyke · DrystaneDyke

I have felt a lot less hopeful since looking at this site and reading a few things by people who have been married to/partners of alcoholics. The general consensus seems to be that As don't get better, they just go on drinking and they basically don't give a damn about anyone or anything if it conflicts w...

MdmDragonfly · MdmDragonfly

Well, I have flirted with the idea of sharing my story, asking for advice, etc. and figured that I may as well do what I always do and jump in with both feet. I have been with my A for 2 years. I knew him when he was active, then he went to rehab and when he came home, that is when we got together. Shortly...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello roomies, Yesterday my "A" was offered a job in Alaska, and due to car troubles he has taken the job. I am taking him later today to the boat. This place is about 2 hours away from our house (depending on the traffic). I may need back up for the meeting I am supposed to chair tonight. I am not sure. I w...

Briana5587 · Briana5587

Hi, I am looking for anyone who is willing to sponser, over the internet. Because, of my school situation and such I feel this would be the best course, I have asked in chats and this was suggested to me. Thank you briana My e-mail is briana5587@adelphi.net

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

I feel like I live with Peter Pan. No responsiblities & don't want to grow up. We are two women who were friends/ coworkers. We went to a neurologist today for me. I had to pay $250 cash. We are on a fixed income. I have been having migraine headaches. She tells him how I have...

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

OK, in my most recent post, I told you all that I snubbed my A when he waved at me...

Today makes 9 days

and I have not spoken to him, called him, texted him, drove past his house on purpose or sent any desperate letters in the mail. I even found more of his belongings in my apartment and TH...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A first step (Preview) She's sleeping in the guest room now at my request. While I was online, she came upstairs, went right to that room and shut the door. Very out of character for her not to say goodnight. 15 minutes later, I went in and she woke up and looked at me with that stupid "I've been drinking" grin. I men...	mf310	2	390	Jun 7, 2006 by nycbt
	Help needed (Preview) My partner stopped drinking about 1 month ago. He has been on a home detox programme. I don't know what is happening to him at the moment. It's like living with 2 different people. One minute he's ok the next he's a mad man. Never seen him like this before. It is breaking my heart. He was fine yesterday when...	brownie	3	319	Jun 7, 2006 by brownie
	perspective (Preview) i was at my f2f tonight and a friend brought up a topic of powerlessness. her son worrying about his father (her ex). and another friend said how nice that she has raised a son who can care deeply and express his feelings. i just love when people can turn our sorrows into joys. it is all in the perspective. a...	serendipity	0	298	Jun 6, 2006 by serendipity
	Lambasted by control freak (Preview) Got out 4 books to bring self down from anger level, and here's what showed up: "I don't have to react instantly to provocation, and I am not obligated to justify myself to anyone." "Defending ourselves by engaging in arguments with actively drinking or otherwise irrational people is as fruitle...	peewee	12	559	Jun 6, 2006 by peewee
	age (Preview) I'm 19. I'm still unsure where I feel most comfortable.....on this board or the Alateen board. I also have been thinking of actually going to a f2f Al-Anon meeting but I'm unsure. Anyways.... How old are some of you? Lanchas	Lanchas	3	386	Jun 6, 2006 by lmt123
	geeeez i feel like doggie doo doo (Preview) last night i cried AGAIN!!! i am lying in bed last night, getting ready for sleep, and it hit me!! here i am goin on 60 this month and i feel like i MISSED out on life.....the abuse-- the resultant addictions/ codependency disease, u know, the aftershocks of the trauma, and NOW, i get my...	rosie light shines	11	469	Jun 6, 2006 by justme
	Please just leave! (Preview) So what if I just want her to go away? And thus begins my rambling for the day. Should I ignore the drinking? Yep. Do I? Nope. Why? Here's the issue I have with letting her "get away" with the drinking. Like many stories I've seen here, she denies drinking eve...	mf310	11	763	Jun 6, 2006 by Elizabeth M
	Cheating Myself (Preview) Hello Everyone I haven't posted in a while, I guess I've been withdrawn in my own little world. Basically I've been plodding along from day to day but not really feeling much peace. I threw my back out and its been pretty bad for the last week. Being in pain really drains me and depr...	twinmom2	4	421	Jun 6, 2006 by Andrea12
	Packing, waiting, feel so left out (Preview) Well, at least there is a plan to relocate. I thought it might be in a few weeks. I called to get sq.footage of apt and found out only mailing app today and may be 2-3 wks to process and maybe some weeks after to move in. The isolation gets soooo hard to deal with. I used to be able to have a bus just down the stree...	d53sjurne	6	455	Jun 6, 2006 by nmike
	Dateing in my 40's (Preview) Hi my friends old and new. I am dating. I am on 3 different dating websites and my email box is full. I have even progressed to meeting 2 people in real life. One not suitable and the other makes my heart beat fast and my pulse quicken. The one I like is eerily similar to my husband. Profess...	megan	10	548	Jun 6, 2006 by nmike
	ESH please (Preview) I have been praying to HP all day ... since yesterday. Let go, let God. Detach. Believe it will be OK, HP, please help me do the next right thing... these are all my mantras today. My most difficult challenge with this program is not just feeling like someone is ...	emma	1	313	Jun 6, 2006 by rtexas
	Life is stranger than fiction (Preview) ((((Hello Everyone)))) Been out of town for our aniversery and it started off miserably. All last week, my AW said she didn't want to go, didn't like the place I picked, wanted me to take the kids and she would stay home.... on and on. The disease at it's best. Well, we settled on the kid...	rtexas	6	539	Jun 6, 2006 by QOD
	Age differs, but many feelings the same (Preview) Hi, I am 50. My qualifier is my spouse. Welcome any time to this board. My experience with alanon, mixed ages, same feelings even though different situations, environments. One alanon shoe size does not fit all, so that is why you have a choice. ...	wallsal55	0	312	Jun 6, 2006 by wallsal55
	Alcoholic (Preview) Hi Everyone. I'm new to this site. Like everyone else I need a little help. My partner of 8 years Paul is an Alcoholic. He has been on a detox programme. He detoxed at home for 2 weeks with the help of tablets and the doctors. The last few days I think he has been having Vodka. He has been acting drunk. Whe...	brownie	7	457	Jun 6, 2006 by nycbt
	Leading by example? (Preview) I'm new here, please bare with me When my stepson got out of rehab (drugs and alcohol) we were told that we needed to go home and clean out the closets so-to-speak. My husband and I didn't have anything to throw-away as we are not drinkers/druggers so there was no problem there. We did however, lock up S...	zoolander101	3	363	Jun 6, 2006 by nycbt
	thanks to all the ANGELS who comforted me (Preview) i just wanted to thank U guys for taking time to "hug" me in my world of hurt here i am working the steps on having to accept that all i may get out of this program is to love/treat me and others better... there may NOT be any lights at the end of the tunnel...there may NOT be any be...	rosie light shines	1	322	Jun 6, 2006 by Christy
	Reflections (Preview) I never fgure out whether a happy incident is a lovely ending or a beautiful beginning. Feeling are not right or wrong they just are. It's easier to ask "How Important Is it?" than carry resentment. Serenity is choosing to live with things as they happen,not choosing them to happen as you wish...	angel123	0	274	Jun 6, 2006 by angel123
	verbal & psychological abuse (Preview) It has been hard to deal with, it comes in waves. Being bombarded lately, even though I have come out of the dumps a bit, it still does such a number in your head, on your self-esteem/psyche... it is SO hard to remember hurt people... hurt people & not to take it personally but I have so mu...	kitty	7	615	Jun 6, 2006 by jennneeefffurrr
	Is lying part of the disease? (Preview) Thanks, everyone, for listening (reading) and responding. I appreciate all comments. I am a fairly new Al-Anon member. I attend meetings locally. This is my first online posting. I am living apart from my A boyfriend. We lived together for several years, b...	jacksmom	10	499	Jun 6, 2006 by jacksmom
	sponsorship (Preview) Quick question for those that have sponsored. . . My one year anniversary in the program is in November. I have worked the steps, go to 5 meetings a week and currently sponsor 3 newcomers. My sponsor says that I am living and breathing the program, tha...	tommyecat	3	434	Jun 6, 2006 by Rita G
	What do you think (Preview) My brother in law called asking for help in making a decision - wanted to put the situation out there to see if you think my reasoning is healthy??? Brother in law's daughter from 1st marriage is going on senior trip to cancun, he and his second wife were going as chaperones. His wife had e...	Rita G	4	402	Jun 6, 2006 by Rita G
	They are coming to take me away............ (Preview) Sheesh, some of you may remember that song from the late 60's. "They are coming to take me away ha ha........." I feel like that lately. I have my HP working overtime restoring me to sanity. My A is driving me nuts. I don't think she has drank in the last few days. But I suppose she thi...	hmrnrnmm	1	474	Jun 6, 2006 by isabela40
	Is it time? (Preview) How do I know when I have had enough. When will I be full and not take anymore. The cycles make me feel insane. I am tired of the I'm sorrys, I wasn't doing anything wrong and the famous....your the one I want to be with. I'm so tired, with my mom dying I can't deal with the crap that...	marmare	4	405	Jun 6, 2006 by tea2
	Pain (Preview) I heard something from my home group last week that I thought I should share with those working on recovery. The following statement is so profound, it is: "Pain is the only knife sharp enough to cut through denial" It reminded me of how long I fought and struggled against the d...	tommyecat	1	340	Jun 5, 2006 by doxie
	Prayers please, please, please. (Preview) ((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))))), I just got back from the ICU and seeing hubby. His pancreas has been damaged. The past 2 weeks that he has been staying with his friend from rehab (the one he saved a couple of months ago from a heroine overdose) he hasn't been able to ke...	Karilynn	16	620	Jun 5, 2006 by bubbles1990
	A crack in my serenity (Preview) As some of you know.... Last month my son's first car was hit by a truck and totaled (son was fine). He had it 6 weeks. We lost $700.00 on the deal and took it with a grain of salt. Insuranse would only give us X amount. So we found him another car for a good price. A red 1993 Mitsubishi Eclipse. Old, but h...	Christy	10	685	Jun 5, 2006 by tea2
	Missed Everyone while I Slipped (Preview) For personal complications I have avoided the site all together for a time... and it didn't take long for my mind to slip completely & fall into the preying brain suck of depression. I need the outlet, support & grounding, for as much as I know, truly each moment I'm a beginner and all o...	kitty	14	686	Jun 5, 2006 by aunitedway
	consequences (Preview) I understand that an A must be allowed to suffer the consequences of his actions if he is ever going to seek help or admit a problem soooo isn't one of these consequences my hurt and anger and the wedge it places in our relationship. If I pretend that everythig is fine and ignore last n...	Elizabeth M	3	416	Jun 5, 2006 by canadianguy
	Drug Abuser Dad gives pills to son (Preview) Somebody please tell me I am not crazy. Giving pills like Vicodine, Valiums, Oxyconton (sp?) to your son, age 25, is just sick. My husband has a back injury and abuses his medication to the point that he's throwing up while driving or sometimes in the middle of a meal and can only make it to the kitchen sin...	patience	8	463	Jun 5, 2006 by nycbt
	Removing A from my life (Preview) I've just removed my A sister from my life. Can't take being jerked around anymore. Haven't seen who I always knew as my sister for years. She has managed to keep my family in turmoil for so long. It's as if I've buried someone. But then, it's as if she died so long ago.&n...	dusk2dawn	4	418	Jun 5, 2006 by nycbt
	engaged to an active alcoholic- HELP (Preview) Hello to my brothers and sisters on the path of recovery. I have been with my man for almost two years now. At first I was in some denial about his alcoholism as he is a very functional drunk and I figured hey lot's of ladies stay with alcohoic men and go to alan-on to get relief. Believe it or not, I once actua...	patrice	2	403	Jun 5, 2006 by nycbt
	typical day at Eden (Preview) Well after going clear out to the toolyboons with my Brownijoy , my chocolatelab/rottie pup, to pick up two NIgerian goats.. don't ask, the day was getting fuller. They had too many goats. Were wonderfully taken care of, but the gal did not smile once. Seemed like life was a chore f...	debilyn	8	459	Jun 5, 2006 by Barbara
	God give me Strength, Please (Preview) I've just hung up the phone w/ my A. He is high again. He's used more per diem money to pay for his drugs. This time, there is no paycheck to cover it. He is supposed to have the money tomorrow for the crew going out of town. I told him that when he wanted to get well to let me know.&...	Akasha	10	421	Jun 5, 2006 by leo
	Slipping big time and you know what? (Preview) Right now I don't care!!! I had my last drink while out with friends when my husband was in rehab. It'll be three years in November. What did I do as soon as hubby left for the Alano club tonight? I went across the street to the party store and bought myself a pint of watermelon sc...	rio	6	570	Jun 5, 2006 by lin0606
	What goes around comes around (Preview) Dear Friends How is everyone today? I hope well, today is Saturday June 3, 2006 and usually I would be spending the day with my A-boyfriend or a least talking on the phone with him to plan a day adventure with him. But today I won’t be, in fact never. As most of you know he bro...	angelnomore	2	499	Jun 4, 2006 by nmike
	Lost, need ESH and prayers (Preview) Going on 10 months Been here since Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. That was bad enough to loose everything and have to find anew. Being back in touch with A-dau and A-m...	d53sjurne	3	368	Jun 4, 2006 by peewee
	My A is going to rehab on Monday (Preview) Well, my A has decided to go to rehab on Monday. We went and got everything set up on Friday and they got him a bed asap. He'll be gone for at least 28 days. He has cut off contact with his drinking buddies and is having his dad and another AA friend take him to the rehab. BUT, this weekend has been Hell so far....	MdmDragonfly	5	442	Jun 4, 2006 by abbyal
	HE'S GONE AND I AM SO LOST (Preview) THIS IS MY FIRST POST. I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO ATTEND MY ONLINE MEETINGS BECAUSE I AM OUT OF TOWN AND BECAUSE OF THIS NIGHTMARE I HAVE BEEN LIVING SINCE APRIL 11. I FINALLY GOT THE COURAGE TO LEAVE MY A OF 27 YEARS. I MET A MAN IN OREGON ABOUT A YEAR AGO. FLEW OUT TO BE WITH HIM MANY TIMES. WE FELL IN LOVE AT FIRST SI...	dwa1163	18	539	Jun 4, 2006 by dwa1163
	Hmm...must be doing okay (Preview) (((((((((Family)))))))))), Just thinking out loud here. Ever since I asked hubby to leave, I have been awfully calm about all of this. I'm wondering if I'm almost too calm. Now granted I don't have the chaos to come home too because he was drinking. I am slowly put...	Karilynn	5	511	Jun 4, 2006 by dwa1163
	Decided this week its time to start doing for my son and myself (Preview) Adopted 2 bunnies yesterday Painters coming this morn to give estimate on painting our main floor - dining/living, kitchen, 2 bedrooms & 2 baths. Its me with the $ in savings and its time to start spending it! I dont need A husband's approval to open my savings account! Also have a grassman com...	Barbara	6	432	Jun 4, 2006 by abbyal
	Little Prayer Please (Preview) Just a little prayer, that I continue to work my program and have the strength not to talk to the disease. I worked very late last night out observing a job at the job site, I have now been accused of being selfish and cheating on my A. I am asking my HP to guide me with my words and actions. Hugs M...	marmare	5	363	Jun 4, 2006 by Maria123
	LittleWings Poems From The Heart (Preview) Before I Turned Into A ButterFly [img]I was released into a world that was unfamilure. Falling from a tree that stood high in the sky. Laying there lifeless and confused I finally had the will to crawl and find my way Where I was going was unknown But, I started out for my journey ...	LittleWing	2	856	Jun 4, 2006 by LittleWing
	I'm not going to apologize anymore for my feelings (Preview) Hello Group, This morning a light bulb went off for me. My A called to say hi and I love you... I expressed to him that I missed him and wanted to see how things were going for him. He said fine. O.K. maybe I should have left it at that, but I needed to say how I have be...	twinmom2	5	490	Jun 4, 2006 by maresie2
	because (Preview) Having a hard time understanding this program....I have to change...I have to become this perfect compasionate calm caring person who sees the glass half full and sees the A as a person who can't help himself(poor him)..Really struggling with how I am suppose to respond(not react) st...	Elizabeth M	3	400	Jun 4, 2006 by maresie2
	It is what it is, but what is it? (Preview) I decided not to write then changed my mind. A called me collect from jail. Told him what was happening with his family. Then he got on how he did not know what he would do when he got out. I replied, "it is totally up to you." He comes back with, "My options are very limited." I told him we have been togeth...	debilyn	3	477	Jun 4, 2006 by maresie2
	When did you start "getting it"? (Preview) Just thinking about a couple of "aha" moments in my recovery, kind of 'lines in the sand' that are memories, and perhaps stepping stones for me finally "getting it" and moving towards a healthier life for me.... 1. Blame - I was at a family conference at my ex-wife's treatment center, and was talking...	canadianguy	9	1147	Jun 4, 2006 by jennneeefffurrr
	PLEASE read IMPORTANT Pen Pal Club People (Preview) OK I have had several respond interested in the "Pen Pal Club"...could everyone do me a HUGE favor and PLEASE send me an email with your info: real full name "snail mail" address birthday (optional) AlAnon anniversary date (optional) any other info please email THIS info to: &nb...	jennneeefffurrr	0	375	Jun 4, 2006 by jennneeefffurrr
	New and a bit scared (Preview) Well, it took me 43 years to get here and honestly I don't quite know where "here" is or if it's where I need to be. There is so much to say...I feel like I am opening a can of worms, but, I don't know that I can continue this balancing act much longer. I have been depressed since high school, on anti...	Little Lisa	15	521	Jun 4, 2006 by peewee
	Throwing in the towel (Preview) My husband has been an alcoholic for the entire time that we've been together. He was drunk the night we met and he was drinking on our first date. We were both very young then...he was 22 and I had just turned 19. I chalked it up to the typical young adult craziness that most of u...	rio	8	513	Jun 3, 2006 by krise
	PEN PAL CLUB (Preview) We have 5 people interested in the "PEN PAL CLUB" If anyone is interested, PM me your address & if you want it shared with others, your B-day and etc info. I will have everything organized to start it up by mid or end of next week. LOVE and BEST WISHES!!! Jen	jennneeefffurrr	1	411	Jun 3, 2006 by patience
	I am so freakishly confused!! (Preview) I went to my first f2f meeting last night…people were incredibly warm and welcoming but honestly I was left wondering if I ought to go to an AA. Not instead of Al-Alon, but in addition to. Because although I definitely have al-anon type problems, what is primary for me in the short term…what is acute f...	Dog	11	497	Jun 3, 2006 by patience
	not my business yet hurting me (Preview) Good Morning (((Everyone))) I'm a little confused this morning. My AH told his family he filed for divorce. It made me angry that he lied once again and asked why he would do that ... they were bad mouthing me ... saying I had put too much guilt on him over the years, that he deserved to be happy. I l...	Jennifer	6	794	Jun 3, 2006 by peewee
	Missing you (Preview) Hello (((((((friends)))))) I am still unable to get into the chat room. I have registered four times with starchat and have never heard back from them. I will continue to try to work this out, so I can join you all again. In the meantime, just know that I am missing you guys and the meeting...	Lexie	7	433	Jun 3, 2006 by Karilynn
	Hard Night dealing with detachment (Preview) I dont know WHAT the deal was last night, but I all of a sudden went into panic mode about my A, who I have not spoken to in 11 days now. I am doing so well with my recovery, getting stronger, feeling more confident, calm and accepting. I have even been talking to God in prayer and instead of be...	jennneeefffurrr	2	496	Jun 3, 2006 by Karilynn
	Hopeless? (Preview) I have felt a lot less hopeful since looking at this site and reading a few things by people who have been married to/partners of alcoholics. The general consensus seems to be that As don't get better, they just go on drinking and they basically don't give a damn about anyone or anything if it conflicts w...	DrystaneDyke	9	644	Jun 3, 2006 by DrystaneDyke
	New here and sad and confused and... (Preview) Well, I have flirted with the idea of sharing my story, asking for advice, etc. and figured that I may as well do what I always do and jump in with both feet. I have been with my A for 2 years. I knew him when he was active, then he went to rehab and when he came home, that is when we got together. Shortly...	MdmDragonfly	6	533	Jun 3, 2006 by MdmDragonfly
	Tonight's meeting! (Preview) Hello roomies, Yesterday my "A" was offered a job in Alaska, and due to car troubles he has taken the job. I am taking him later today to the boat. This place is about 2 hours away from our house (depending on the traffic). I may need back up for the meeting I am supposed to chair tonight. I am not sure. I w...	Dolphin123	0	314	Jun 3, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Sponsorship (Preview) Hi, I am looking for anyone who is willing to sponser, over the internet. Because, of my school situation and such I feel this would be the best course, I have asked in chats and this was suggested to me. Thank you briana My e-mail is briana5587@adelphi.net	Briana5587	2	402	Jun 3, 2006 by lmt123
	I live with Peter Pan (Preview) I feel like I live with Peter Pan. No responsiblities & don't want to grow up. We are two women who were friends/ coworkers. We went to a neurologist today for me. I had to pay $250 cash. We are on a fixed income. I have been having migraine headaches. She tells him how I have...	hmrnrnmm	3	399	Jun 3, 2006 by Becky1
	recovery...9 days (Preview) OK, in my most recent post, I told you all that I snubbed my A when he waved at me... Today makes 9 days and I have not spoken to him, called him, texted him, drove past his house on purpose or sent any desperate letters in the mail. I even found more of his belongings in my apartment and TH...	jennneeefffurrr	7	479	Jun 3, 2006 by Andrea12
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.