"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

zoolander101 · Newbie

Leading by example?

canadianguy · ~*Service Worker*~

Not weird to be concerned about this at all, but your stepson is right, in that he is going to have to face situations where there is alcohol around eventually, and will need to choose his sobriety over those other options. All that being said, he needs to realize that he is VERY early in his recovery, and should be taking steps to minimize HIS exposure and risk to same. Of course, like most things in here, this is outside of YOUR control and influence, and hopefully within your stepson's.... "Let go and let God" comes to mind, and if he is serious about his sobriety, he will take whatever steps necessary for HIM to not drink.

Glad you found us here, and hope you keep coming back.

Tom

Rita G · ~*Service Worker*~

I can so relate to your feelings - before, during and since rehab I have always thought that his sister was not considerate enough of his disease - to me it just seemed WRONG to ask someone in recovery to open a beer for you so you don't break a fingernail. I know now that she just doesn't get it - she doesn't understand at all and now that my ah is in recovery and so am I, I also know that if he is going to have a slip/relapse it doesn't matter physically where he is or what substances are around him - it is all about where he is spiritually & mentally.

Also, it is about learning to set boundaries. My ah says he had to develop the strength to set boundaries with his family. The ability to not be pressured into attending a family function or to leave if he felt uncomfortable. It truly does become all about them (meaning the alcoholic/addict) not the people, places and things.

Do you have your own AA big book? Now, for me personally, I like everything, except for the chapter to the wives. And as a mature in the program, I can admit there are some good things in there, but I can't say that I agree with all of it -

Does your step-son have a "safe" place to go if he feels uncomfortable at his Mom's house? and not your home, like a sponsor or other recovery friends? Possibly if they are planning a party, maybe he can make arrangements to spend the night with a healthy program friend. Developing a new, healthy circle of friends can be a good step for him. But these are only suggestions for him, regretfully none of us can do this for them, but prayerfully they will do it for themselves . . .

Progress not Perfection,

Rita

nycbt · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP. You are not alone. There a lot of people who understand.

World Service Organization Website –

WWW.al-anon.alateen.org

Phone number is 1-888-425-2666

Alanon meetings 800-351-9996

Alanon literature Worldwide 888-425-2666

Alanon meeting info. 800-433-7266 AA info.

Chat room is open 24/7 there here the link to www.mipchat.net or http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.

Go face to face meeting & online meeting.

post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.

· Set support system. people do not judge. You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.

Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you.

You don’t have to do this the minute u come to the program but I suggest that u do it when u can. It help.

Meeting schedule: meetings are in here and run approximately 90 minutes from: Monday-Friday, 9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10 am and 9 pm EST, Sunday: 10 am and 7 pm EST. Topics are selected by participants at meeting time. UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"