The material presented
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Sheesh, some of you may remember that song from the late 60's. "They are coming to take me away ha ha........." I feel like that lately. I have my HP working overtime restoring me to sanity.
My A is driving me nuts. I don't think she has drank in the last few days. But I suppose she thinks she is being supportive to me. Please if someone finds a can of that " shut the hell up" let me know & I will pay any price & give you my address to get it here asap. lol
I am so thankful for my sense of humor. " If we could not laugh we all would go insane." I have been trying to pretend like everything is wonderful. It has been kinda a pleasant couple of days. I have been hearing what I should be doing for myself. GRRRRRRRR I would love to tell her what she should do or go etc.
So today & the last few months I think. She used to talk non stop & I could not get a word in edge wise. We both grew up in abusive families & have tried to learn how the world is suppose to communicate. So now if she is talking, I can not speak until she is completely done speaking. If I try & say anything like " I agree" or " I agree" She will shut up & not start again. She is like "nope I tried to say something and you intrupted me so you did not want to hear what I had to say." so we exsist in silence alot.
Oh If I ask a simple question ie ......." Did you water the dogs?" a simple yes or no answer will do......I get no response. I know she heard me she has bionic hearing. I am so angry being ignored. My father was the king of silent treatment. I have tried to do the same thing to her not answer act like I did not hear her. I can not do it for long. I hated the feeling so I speak I think it is polite.
I did call her counselor twice and left a message. I did ask Tina if she wanted me to come to her appt with her . She said no , she was ok. So the message I left was after she left me at walmart on Friday. I thought she did . I looked for the truck. It was gone. A few hours later she showed up & acted as if I was the one who acted a fool. She was innocent and had left because she wanted to eat elsewhere & I was copping an attitude. I called her counselor back & left a second message. I think she needs to look at her maybe having undiagonised mood swings or personality split. I think I should not have called in the past all they talk about is my problems or taking care of the animals or the weather.
I know it takes two people to argue. I might be wrong some of the time but I will be D@*# if I am wrong all of the time. I went to my alanon f2f meeting and I feel good. I have new ideas to try & communicate like saying "I feel.........." I will give anything a try. I am having to work the next 3 nites 8 pm to 8am so I will not be at online chat. I miss you all. Have a great full day.
Do a search on it on the internet and read descriptions and you will find a very similar profile to what you describe.
My husband has it and he has that thing about talking nonstop and I better not interrupt him. It sounds trivial but it is not. They have this unhealthy exaggerated sense of their own importance, and when they talk it is a lecture...not a conversation. They talk down to you and you BETTER listen in total silence and admiration. That is NOT NORMAL! Normal and healthy adults have conversations...with each being respected and having chance to express themselves, EQUALLY.
I am fortunate in that I know that my husband has official diagnosis. He joined the army, caused trouble, was evaluated, diagnosed, and kicked out. He is complete denial about it though...as is typical. MOST never get diagnosed...they think they are fine and the rest of us are just stupid idiots.
My husband is a college professor and once said to me "Now I know why people say academics are in an ivory tower...I am so high above you in intellect, education, and station in life that you simply aren't capable of understanding my viewpoint" LOL just because I disagreed with him. I laughed...a horrible mistake...he has never forgiven me for that. Yeah, he has more education than I do...but I am not THAT far behind him. And, as far as his intellect is concerned...well...lets just say that a lot of people think he is an idiot and tell me so, LOL. And as far as that "station in life" is concerned...he is talking about the fact that I was a divorced Mom of one when we met...and he had never been married and has no kids. So...he had his girlfriends get abortions when he had sex out of wedlock. I got married right after high school and got pregnant AFTER getting married and had a baby...then divorced cheating husband...and I am the low morals one? SHEESH!!!
All life with a BPD person...many suffer from narcissisum also. I used to not take the narcissisum seriously, but therapist told me it is very serious mental disorder. They truly think they are above everyone else and no one can give them any advice and they have few friends since they are so high above everyone...a legend in their own minds, LOL. They are inept socially and are very bad at interpersonal relationships...
Sound familiar yet?
Educating yourself will help you cope...and maybe, just maybe you can get her to go to a therapist to be evaluated. But this is unlikely to happen. Maybe you can get her to agree to joint counseling and then therapist can observe her and give her diagnosis that way. Make sure to find therapist experiences in BPD. It is hard to diagnose...
Hope things get better for you...it aint fun living with someone with BPD...
