Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello just wanted to quickly let you all know I am home from the hospital. I had my hyserectomy--they took out only one ovary--it was at least as big as a tennis ball--Fibroma tumor, non cancerous. In pain, alone, and still dealing with my A, who is struggling to make ends meet at a sh***y motel up the road...

theprofessor · theprofessor

This just came back to me, I can't believe I didn't mention this earlier! During our session, my AH told the therapist that we had a fight, and he told me to find a new place to live (all true). Then he tells her it wasn't difficult for him, that he could easily end our relationship without a...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Part of a reccomended ALA activity, write a couple paragraphs about the person and what you would change if you could. I would make the A happier. My A is not a happy camper, drinking or not. Sometimes the tension just ripples off of him and on to everyone else around. I've put in some serious effort i...

rtexas · rtexas

Hello ((((Everyone)))) "There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein (1879-1955) I recieved this quote in an email from my sponsor yesterday. You know, just the very existance of this program...

Barbs45 · Barbs45

Haven't posted for a while, as I still have reservations about this. I understand that not all alcoholics are peodophilles, or vice versa. My exhusband, now dead was both, in my opinion the fact that he was also a peodophile only made it more difficult for him to recover from alcoholism. As for be...

Ragmoll · Ragmoll

Hello Everyone, I am new to this group. I am chairing a meeting tonight and was wondering if anyone could direct me to information about - acceptance. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you in Advance. Mary

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

These past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions for me but amidst it all I can see that the program is working miracles in my life. My sister addicted to opiates, went to detox and is attending meetings every day, she is a new person. However, I have found myself relating to her differently t...

theprofessor · theprofessor

This just came back to me, I can't believe I didn't mention this earlier! During our session, my AH told the therapist that we had a fight, and he told me to find a new place to live (all true). Then he tells her it wasn't difficult for him, that he could easily end our relationship without a...

MsgBo · MsgBo

My oldest grandson attempted suicide last night. Prayers would be appreciated. Bill

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

In order to grow you need to be sincere and honest with yourself. You are like anybody else neither better nor worse, just a human being. Your sincerity and your will to be true are the key elements to your realization. Unknown Freud spent years of his research (and who knows how much cocaine!) trying t...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello just wanted to quickly let you all know I am home from the hospital. I had my hyserectomy--they took out only one ovary--it was at least as big as a tennis ball--Fibroma tumor, non cancerous. In pain, alone, and still dealing with my A, who is struggling to make ends meet at a sh***y motel up the road...

minnie · minnie

I am so tired of my ah thinking I am a complete moron. Today I figured out where his hiding place is. I hate myself for caring, or looking for it even. Well I saw him go outside today with his coat, thinking he was going to feed the dog or something, and he comes in with a bulk in his pocket which he was holding fr...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I took my kids last weekend to stay the night with a lady i know thru work. She is also from out of state and her grandkids don't come often. We talked for a while about her being a surrogate grandma for my kids becuase we have no one here either. Anyway, they loved eachother everything went great an...

akristab · akristab

HBO is premiering a documentary series on addiction http://www.hbo.com/addiction/ during their FREE preview March 15-18. For those of us that have a loved one that battles addiction, it may help us understand it a little better. If you cannot watch the series http://www.hbo.com/addiction/the...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I thought perhaps some of you might be interested in seeing this gem. It is the 54 year Sobriety Medallion presented to Geneva Vessels. Her grandson gave it to us yesterday. I was not priviledged to know this awesome lady but her sobriety date is Jan 10, 1944. Miss Geneva passed away a few years ago b...

serendipity · serendipity

I know I didn't Cause it I can't Control it I can't Cure it I have heard in meetings that I can Contribute to the disease and I can Care. These were huge for me.Seeing my part in the family disease finally gave me something I could actually do about it. W...

mama_nz · mama_nz

Well I think my A got a bit of a wake-up call seeing me with someone else recently. He showed up at my place today saying he felt like his heart had been ripped out and that he wanted to stop drinking if it meant he could have his family back (meaning me and our son).. However he said after seeing me at the park...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I just want to let you all know that a relationship can be maintained with your ex. I have set boundaries as before. I only speak with him during the day, when I know he his sober. We still support the boys together at sporting events, some people probably don't even know we are divorced, LOL. When th...

rtexas · rtexas

Hello ((((Everyone)))) "There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein (1879-1955) I recieved this quote in an email from my sponsor yesterday. You know, just the very existance of this program...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

My A son is in a diversion center trying to get his life straightened out. Him and his wife are going thru a divorce because of my sons drug and alcohol problems. Well my dil called me last night and she said that because my son will not sign the divorce papers and because he will not be paying child-suppo...

Scigirl · Scigirl

This is my first time participating in this forum. Where to start?! I am married to an alcoholic. He seems like the ideal husband and father most of the time but every once in a while he goes on a binge. Last night he took off after I fell asleep and hasn't been home since (24 hrs). He won't an...

Rora · Rora

Yesterday was mine and Ah's 5th anniversary. I was worked up to have a horrible day. We were getting together to discuss things. I had to speak to my sponsor before he arrived, who shot it to me plain and simple... "Your attitude stinks and you've decided to have a horrible day with your A....

maresie2 · maresie2

One of my latest key insights is that the A crashes from fantasy about as much as he crashes from alcohol. Right now he has a huge fantasy about doing a geographic. I am trying to get out of his way as much as possible. I am tired of taking the heat and blame when his fantasy crashes. So he is either catatonic...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))))) Well, I have been missing from here for almost three weeks.... And I have missed you guys so much... I'm not in any better shape than when I left here. It's been five weeks since my relationship ended, and I'm still in a daze. I am still cryi...

theprofessor · theprofessor

My AH and I, we have marriage counseling this week. I am dreading going, mainly because he's been brooding over my latest actions for the latter part of the week, and I know I am going to look like a complete a**hole in our session today. I finally got really fed up last week, this time over the woman w...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. --William Blake We have a right to claim our own feelings. Sometimes we get angry, but hold it inside because we think it's wrong to feel it. If anger builds inside us, it expands like a b...

Alyce · Alyce

From childhood I grew up in a house where I was taught not show feelings (only happy ones). Anyway, when my mother passed away and I started to cry she said "Don't cry" and I just stuffed the feelings. I realized I never really grieved my mother's death, just went about business. ...

maire rua · maire rua

I am feeling really down right now, today my ex-A who had been living with me for the last two months but left last sunday, progressed to a new level for him, drinking during the day in order to play darts properly. I know I should not be surprised or disappointed that drinking comes before his family and o...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I started thinking about this. I have waited eight years for my ah to change his way and to become sober...........and then once sober to not become a dry drunk.......well he's done both. So now he's sober (again) and I got to thinking, if this is for real......how will I ever know? Will I keep l...

virjennyan · virjennyan

I have 1 sibling - a brother who has been in recovery a short time. I have recently learned to "let go", and am still working on it. For me, letting go means no longer having any expectations, and no longer reaching out. I have always been the one to initiate contact with him, except when he w...

lam0204 · lam0204

Has anyone had any experiences with interventions? I was told it may be helpful with my ex husband who is an alcoholic. I would like to hear some input on them because I know they don't always work. thanks.

smpoli · smpoli

I am pleased that my A has finally admitted, again, that he is in fact an A. I wish i could add that he is going to meetings, but hasn't since Sat. I am hopeful that he is on the right track though. We had an issue with Bryon the other day and I did an unexpected trip to Portland. He is ok now, but really sc...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I'm hoping you will tell me what you think of this situation. I'm not sure what to do. Three weeks ago I was visiting my sister and she sat me down saying she wanted to talk to me. I was uneasy. I hate being put under pressure. I knew what she was going to say. Years ago my younger sister (...

JMW · JMW

Hello... I'm new to all of this. I've never ever heard about Alanon until today, and I immedeatley rushed online to find something...anything... to help myself. I am so desperate, and so brutally alone. My boyfriend of four, (almost five!) years has been knocking back a bottle of vodka a d...

horselover58 · horselover58

I am still getting banned. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! There is no way to get the message to the op on duty because when I try to type a message in, it says "not on channel." It goes on & on about spam, abuse & my ISP Thumpernet being banned!!! I did try the website to figure it out, but I...

mama_nz · mama_nz

I was reading a bit about codepenency on http://www.recovery-man.com/coda/codependency.htm I'm was a bit confused by this term. Did it imply that if you live with what you believe to be an alcoholic and you display co-dependent traits that you may just be imagining or exaggerating the fact...

minnie · minnie

Hey family. It seems like i've been doing a lot of feeling sorry for myself lately. i hate that. i hate being sad and depressed, and sometimes i hate my husband for making me feel this way. then i remember, that i'm letting him make me feel this way. and that makes me so angry at myself. why do i let him do this...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

OK this came up before, but last night was the first time I really spoke up about it. The A takes pain medication, quite a long history of it. The doctor switched to Methadone. The A doesn't take that so much. The A has been stockpiling the leftovers, has a significant ammount. Occaisionally talks...

Fifi · Fifi

I am just gonna ramble because my mind is foggy.....days,nights,events,arguments,conflicts, LACK OF UNDERSTANDING....life with my live in A bf has gotten to a really confusing place. He is sober, going to meetings and therapy and trying to handle his underlying problems as a sober adult for the f...

Fifi · Fifi

I had a nice afternoon with my Asober bf....my family had been visiting and he was on his best behavior. But all morning wasmisery...me crying, him criticizing but saying he wasn't....saying my reaction to what he says is my responsibility and I always misjudge his words...sounds too much to me like...

dot · dot

Hi all - Just a reminder that our business meeting wll be Sun - March 4 at 9pm ET See you there - Dot

Gailey · Gailey

Yesterday I had sort of a relapse. Do you think it has anything to do with missing my weekly meetings for the last month or so? lol....of course it does! I had a confrontation with A son. He visits his children at my house when I have them. He is not allowed to drive them anywhere or be alone with him. my, now e...

mama_nz · mama_nz

I have been separated from my ex (A) for a year now. I recently met someone who seems genuinely good, and I like him. Well okay we met online so I know I have to be wary. Decided to meet up with him today and I suggested we meet at the park down by where I live, it has a big lake where you can feed the ducks, lots...

mama_nz · mama_nz

Oops I don't know how I managed to post this twice, must have hit refresh button. Sorry. -- Edited by mama_nz at 21:33, 2007-03-03

theprofessor · theprofessor

Hi all, I am new here, so let me introduce myself. I am a 30-year old woman, married to an off and on alcoholic for nearly 4 years. I say off and on due to his episodes; it's never a continuous thing. He can go for an entire year without drinking and then just pick up a bottle and end his sobriety. We do not h...

maresie2 · maresie2

These past two weeks I have had a hard time detaching from the A. As you know I am in the middle of yet another job search. I have a job, albeit very rudimentary and 2 days off in the week to look for work. As normal the A does no housework to speak of. He can't lift a cup, sweep a floor, pick up nothing. So...

puzzle · puzzle

some nights I just can not see how I can stay with him for the rest of my life!!!!!!! Living like this. OK, I will say I don't get this miserable very often at all any more but when I am in physcal pain and after working my patootie off pick-axing, shoveling, pick -axing some more for 5 hours in the freezi...

nmike · nmike

Well, I survived a trip with my AHsober to see our son in the military. My AHsober was so careful to avoid any close contact with me. I just love the way he lectures our son - do what I say and not what I do. I told him that I see that we have 4 meetings - he presents his side, I present my side, we share together, an...

jajanma · jajanma

I have been making myself sick over this one. My A has been drinking almost daily for months. It has been horrible around here......I am the only one working right now, full time, overnight stocking for Wal-mart. I don't have my own car right now, so I am using his to get to work and back. He does some...

annmarie · annmarie

My exA called me last night. I haven't spoken to him in weeks, even then it was short and curt. Anyway he was sober last night, says he's been sober for a few weeks now and is realising his mistakes, his losses. He says he's going to occasional meetings. He doesn't like meetings, but is t...

gardengal · gardengal

Sometimes just writing things down instead of just thinking them, gets us motivated to get on with life with things that are important for our health and minds. Those of us who live or have lived with active alcoholism become stagnant in life, and feel nothing is worth the effort Sometimes even gettin...

angel123 · angel123

This morning our topic was :let it Begin with me" and "Keep it Simple" Someone suggested I post something in my share the 7 P's Pain (sharing) Prayer (HP I choice to call God) Program (Alanon) Perspective (food for thought from others) Progress (where i was and where i am tod...

Alyce · Alyce

I realize when looking back that I took no responsibility for my life, my credit, my happiness, or anything related to me for that matter. I made and still continue to make choices passively, but I am learning. I am struggling with something lately. Both my spouses and my credit was ruined due to l...

jaja · jaja

Okay, a long time ago I learned what an enabler is and how I've been one in my marriage to my A. So I have learned how to keep out of the way of his drinking ( not ALL the time) and let him deal with it his own self. But I'm thinking that maybe enabling and controlling are related. A few time...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I only post to complain about the A and sometimes when I don't have anything to complain about I remember something from way back and bring it up. This is not good, I know that. Probably stems from some sort of codependant something or another, and I want to refresh a little. I want to say that my AH has...

Katy · Katy

Ok my storey so far , hubby in aa but not working any programme, thinks putting the drink down is suffice, now replacing drinking with working 24/7 and woe betide anyone that questions his motives, how dare we, so he's decided to work himself to a frazzle, so now we have a highly stressed human bein...

maresie2 · maresie2

One of the A's favorite retorts is that he is going to up and leave. I never really took it seriously. Turns out in some of his little excursions that last 3 days or so like when he runs out and leaves and doesn't come back for days he has been going to see family who live like 2 hours away from here. ...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hey family i haven't posted in a while. im up the walls busy with work and play ..lol.. im very proud of myself.... i just realised that in the last number of weeks. there was a time when all i cud think about was my "A" and HIS life... HIS choices... and MY pain... they HE caused.. or that I...

ditto · ditto

Twenty years ago I met my very good friend. The first time she and her husband came to my house for dinner, they raided my liquor cabinet and got drunk. The second time they came to my house, they brought their own alcohol and got drunk. The third time they came to my house I set my boundaries. I told the...

bobump · bobump

I'm hoping to make it. Still up in the air but hoping to. Drop me a line. Would be great to put a face w/ the name or say hi to those I've met ! Bob

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	back from the hospital and home alone (Preview) Hello just wanted to quickly let you all know I am home from the hospital. I had my hyserectomy--they took out only one ovary--it was at least as big as a tennis ball--Fibroma tumor, non cancerous. In pain, alone, and still dealing with my A, who is struggling to make ends meet at a sh***y motel up the road...	hippietrippiechick	9	571	Mar 6, 2007 by hippietrippiechick
	And Another Thing = from the session (Preview) This just came back to me, I can't believe I didn't mention this earlier! During our session, my AH told the therapist that we had a fight, and he told me to find a new place to live (all true). Then he tells her it wasn't difficult for him, that he could easily end our relationship without a...	theprofessor	1	417	Mar 6, 2007 by irish54
	Someone I worry about and wish I could change (Preview) Part of a reccomended ALA activity, write a couple paragraphs about the person and what you would change if you could. I would make the A happier. My A is not a happy camper, drinking or not. Sometimes the tension just ripples off of him and on to everyone else around. I've put in some serious effort i...	RainyJamie	4	503	Mar 6, 2007 by RainyJamie
	There are 2 ways to live your life... (Preview) Hello ((((Everyone)))) "There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein (1879-1955) I recieved this quote in an email from my sponsor yesterday. You know, just the very existance of this program...	rtexas	1	411	Mar 6, 2007 by hersh
	The One Thing That Prevented His Recovery? (Preview) Haven't posted for a while, as I still have reservations about this. I understand that not all alcoholics are peodophilles, or vice versa. My exhusband, now dead was both, in my opinion the fact that he was also a peodophile only made it more difficult for him to recover from alcoholism. As for be...	Barbs45	7	450	Mar 6, 2007 by Barbs45
	Need Help Please (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am new to this group. I am chairing a meeting tonight and was wondering if anyone could direct me to information about - acceptance. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you in Advance. Mary	Ragmoll	3	451	Mar 6, 2007 by abbyal
	my program is working (Preview) These past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions for me but amidst it all I can see that the program is working miracles in my life. My sister addicted to opiates, went to detox and is attending meetings every day, she is a new person. However, I have found myself relating to her differently t...	Mobirdie	3	381	Mar 6, 2007 by Rita G
	And Another Thing = from the session (Preview) This just came back to me, I can't believe I didn't mention this earlier! During our session, my AH told the therapist that we had a fight, and he told me to find a new place to live (all true). Then he tells her it wasn't difficult for him, that he could easily end our relationship without a...	theprofessor	4	563	Mar 6, 2007 by twinmom2
	prayers for grandson (Preview) My oldest grandson attempted suicide last night. Prayers would be appreciated. Bill	MsgBo	12	472	Mar 6, 2007 by MsgBo
	The authentic self (Preview) In order to grow you need to be sincere and honest with yourself. You are like anybody else neither better nor worse, just a human being. Your sincerity and your will to be true are the key elements to your realization. Unknown Freud spent years of his research (and who knows how much cocaine!) trying t...	Tiger2006	1	389	Mar 6, 2007 by ally
	back from the hospital and home alone (Preview) Hello just wanted to quickly let you all know I am home from the hospital. I had my hyserectomy--they took out only one ovary--it was at least as big as a tennis ball--Fibroma tumor, non cancerous. In pain, alone, and still dealing with my A, who is struggling to make ends meet at a sh***y motel up the road...	hippietrippiechick	3	471	Mar 6, 2007 by aunitedway
	he thinks i'm stupid (Preview) I am so tired of my ah thinking I am a complete moron. Today I figured out where his hiding place is. I hate myself for caring, or looking for it even. Well I saw him go outside today with his coat, thinking he was going to feed the dog or something, and he comes in with a bulk in his pocket which he was holding fr...	minnie	6	472	Mar 6, 2007 by aunitedway
	Resourcefulness (Preview) I took my kids last weekend to stay the night with a lady i know thru work. She is also from out of state and her grandkids don't come often. We talked for a while about her being a surrogate grandma for my kids becuase we have no one here either. Anyway, they loved eachother everything went great an...	carolinagirl	4	504	Mar 6, 2007 by Friendofyours
	The Addiction Project (Preview) HBO is premiering a documentary series on addiction http://www.hbo.com/addiction/ during their FREE preview March 15-18. For those of us that have a loved one that battles addiction, it may help us understand it a little better. If you cannot watch the series http://www.hbo.com/addiction/the...	akristab	0	261	Mar 6, 2007 by akristab
	54 year sobriety medallion (Preview) I thought perhaps some of you might be interested in seeing this gem. It is the 54 year Sobriety Medallion presented to Geneva Vessels. Her grandson gave it to us yesterday. I was not priviledged to know this awesome lady but her sobriety date is Jan 10, 1944. Miss Geneva passed away a few years ago b...	Mobirdie	2	662	Mar 6, 2007 by hudsond
	any more C's ? (Preview) I know I didn't Cause it I can't Control it I can't Cure it I have heard in meetings that I can Contribute to the disease and I can Care. These were huge for me.Seeing my part in the family disease finally gave me something I could actually do about it. W...	serendipity	9	508	Mar 6, 2007 by lilms
	How much contact to have with a recovering A (Preview) Well I think my A got a bit of a wake-up call seeing me with someone else recently. He showed up at my place today saying he felt like his heart had been ripped out and that he wanted to stop drinking if it meant he could have his family back (meaning me and our son).. However he said after seeing me at the park...	mama_nz	5	834	Mar 6, 2007 by HowToSaveALife
	For all who have an ex AH (Preview) I just want to let you all know that a relationship can be maintained with your ex. I have set boundaries as before. I only speak with him during the day, when I know he his sober. We still support the boys together at sporting events, some people probably don't even know we are divorced, LOL. When th...	jrtjosey	8	661	Mar 6, 2007 by Feather
	There are 2 ways to live your life... (Preview) Hello ((((Everyone)))) "There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein (1879-1955) I recieved this quote in an email from my sponsor yesterday. You know, just the very existance of this program...	rtexas	5	537	Mar 6, 2007 by annmarie
	I've been up all night crying (Preview) My A son is in a diversion center trying to get his life straightened out. Him and his wife are going thru a divorce because of my sons drug and alcohol problems. Well my dil called me last night and she said that because my son will not sign the divorce papers and because he will not be paying child-suppo...	JulieLynn	8	770	Mar 5, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Reality Bites!! (Preview) This is my first time participating in this forum. Where to start?! I am married to an alcoholic. He seems like the ideal husband and father most of the time but every once in a while he goes on a binge. Last night he took off after I fell asleep and hasn't been home since (24 hrs). He won't an...	Scigirl	5	374	Mar 5, 2007 by Scigirl
	My attitude stinks... (Preview) Yesterday was mine and Ah's 5th anniversary. I was worked up to have a horrible day. We were getting together to discuss things. I had to speak to my sponsor before he arrived, who shot it to me plain and simple... "Your attitude stinks and you've decided to have a horrible day with your A....	Rora	7	621	Mar 5, 2007 by jrtjosey
	moving along (Preview) One of my latest key insights is that the A crashes from fantasy about as much as he crashes from alcohol. Right now he has a huge fantasy about doing a geographic. I am trying to get out of his way as much as possible. I am tired of taking the heat and blame when his fantasy crashes. So he is either catatonic...	maresie2	2	364	Mar 5, 2007 by Rita G
	GLAD TO BE BACK AGAIN (Preview) (((((((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))))) Well, I have been missing from here for almost three weeks.... And I have missed you guys so much... I'm not in any better shape than when I left here. It's been five weeks since my relationship ended, and I'm still in a daze. I am still cryi...	ally	10	691	Mar 5, 2007 by ally
	an average weekend after a disastrous week (Preview) My AH and I, we have marriage counseling this week. I am dreading going, mainly because he's been brooding over my latest actions for the latter part of the week, and I know I am going to look like a complete a**hole in our session today. I finally got really fed up last week, this time over the woman w...	theprofessor	2	441	Mar 5, 2007 by carolinagirl
	release the anger! (Preview) I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. --William Blake We have a right to claim our own feelings. Sometimes we get angry, but hold it inside because we think it's wrong to feel it. If anger builds inside us, it expands like a b...	Tiger2006	4	522	Mar 5, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	Feelings (Preview) From childhood I grew up in a house where I was taught not show feelings (only happy ones). Anyway, when my mother passed away and I started to cry she said "Don't cry" and I just stuffed the feelings. I realized I never really grieved my mother's death, just went about business. ...	Alyce	4	469	Mar 5, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	Progressive disease reminder (Preview) I am feeling really down right now, today my ex-A who had been living with me for the last two months but left last sunday, progressed to a new level for him, drinking during the day in order to play darts properly. I know I should not be surprised or disappointed that drinking comes before his family and o...	maire rua	7	541	Mar 5, 2007 by babysteps
	When sobriety happens............... (Preview) I started thinking about this. I have waited eight years for my ah to change his way and to become sober...........and then once sober to not become a dry drunk.......well he's done both. So now he's sober (again) and I got to thinking, if this is for real......how will I ever know? Will I keep l...	Friendofyours	12	668	Mar 5, 2007 by Karilynn
	No longer reaching out (Preview) I have 1 sibling - a brother who has been in recovery a short time. I have recently learned to "let go", and am still working on it. For me, letting go means no longer having any expectations, and no longer reaching out. I have always been the one to initiate contact with him, except when he w...	virjennyan	2	408	Mar 5, 2007 by virjennyan
	intervention? (Preview) Has anyone had any experiences with interventions? I was told it may be helpful with my ex husband who is an alcoholic. I would like to hear some input on them because I know they don't always work. thanks.	lam0204	8	704	Mar 5, 2007 by virjennyan
	He finally "Re-Admitting" to being an "A" (Preview) I am pleased that my A has finally admitted, again, that he is in fact an A. I wish i could add that he is going to meetings, but hasn't since Sat. I am hopeful that he is on the right track though. We had an issue with Bryon the other day and I did an unexpected trip to Portland. He is ok now, but really sc...	smpoli	3	599	Mar 5, 2007 by mel123
	troublesome sister (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hoping you will tell me what you think of this situation. I'm not sure what to do. Three weeks ago I was visiting my sister and she sat me down saying she wanted to talk to me. I was uneasy. I hate being put under pressure. I knew what she was going to say. Years ago my younger sister (...	annmarie	6	527	Mar 5, 2007 by virjennyan
	Anguish (Preview) Hello... I'm new to all of this. I've never ever heard about Alanon until today, and I immedeatley rushed online to find something...anything... to help myself. I am so desperate, and so brutally alone. My boyfriend of four, (almost five!) years has been knocking back a bottle of vodka a d...	JMW	15	541	Mar 5, 2007 by virjennyan
	Still getting banned (Preview) I am still getting banned. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! There is no way to get the message to the op on duty because when I try to type a message in, it says "not on channel." It goes on & on about spam, abuse & my ISP Thumpernet being banned!!! I did try the website to figure it out, but I...	horselover58	4	522	Mar 5, 2007 by doxie
	Codependency (Preview) I was reading a bit about codepenency on http://www.recovery-man.com/coda/codependency.htm I'm was a bit confused by this term. Did it imply that if you live with what you believe to be an alcoholic and you display co-dependent traits that you may just be imagining or exaggerating the fact...	mama_nz	2	354	Mar 4, 2007 by BlueCloud
	just feeling sorry for myself.....again (Preview) Hey family. It seems like i've been doing a lot of feeling sorry for myself lately. i hate that. i hate being sad and depressed, and sometimes i hate my husband for making me feel this way. then i remember, that i'm letting him make me feel this way. and that makes me so angry at myself. why do i let him do this...	minnie	10	569	Mar 4, 2007 by minnie
	This is not my beautiful wife (Preview) OK this came up before, but last night was the first time I really spoke up about it. The A takes pain medication, quite a long history of it. The doctor switched to Methadone. The A doesn't take that so much. The A has been stockpiling the leftovers, has a significant ammount. Occaisionally talks...	RainyJamie	5	3313	Mar 4, 2007 by Jen
	feelin worn (Preview) I am just gonna ramble because my mind is foggy.....days,nights,events,arguments,conflicts, LACK OF UNDERSTANDING....life with my live in A bf has gotten to a really confusing place. He is sober, going to meetings and therapy and trying to handle his underlying problems as a sober adult for the f...	Fifi	4	321	Mar 4, 2007 by jrtjosey
	cryin and tired in am (Preview) I had a nice afternoon with my Asober bf....my family had been visiting and he was on his best behavior. But all morning wasmisery...me crying, him criticizing but saying he wasn't....saying my reaction to what he says is my responsibility and I always misjudge his words...sounds too much to me like...	Fifi	7	430	Mar 4, 2007 by Leetle
	March Business Meeting (Preview) Hi all - Just a reminder that our business meeting wll be Sun - March 4 at 9pm ET See you there - Dot	dot	1	363	Mar 4, 2007 by kerry5
	I said it MEAN!!!! (Preview) Yesterday I had sort of a relapse. Do you think it has anything to do with missing my weekly meetings for the last month or so? lol....of course it does! I had a confrontation with A son. He visits his children at my house when I have them. He is not allowed to drive them anywhere or be alone with him. my, now e...	Gailey	7	499	Mar 4, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Moving on without guilt (Preview) I have been separated from my ex (A) for a year now. I recently met someone who seems genuinely good, and I like him. Well okay we met online so I know I have to be wary. Decided to meet up with him today and I suggested we meet at the park down by where I live, it has a big lake where you can feed the ducks, lots...	mama_nz	2	441	Mar 4, 2007 by TryingToCope
	Moving on without guilt (Preview) Oops I don't know how I managed to post this twice, must have hit refresh button. Sorry. -- Edited by mama_nz at 21:33, 2007-03-03	mama_nz	0	290	Mar 3, 2007 by mama_nz
	Where did he go? (Preview) Hi all, I am new here, so let me introduce myself. I am a 30-year old woman, married to an off and on alcoholic for nearly 4 years. I say off and on due to his episodes; it's never a continuous thing. He can go for an entire year without drinking and then just pick up a bottle and end his sobriety. We do not h...	theprofessor	8	641	Mar 3, 2007 by abbyal
	detaching progress not perfection (Preview) These past two weeks I have had a hard time detaching from the A. As you know I am in the middle of yet another job search. I have a job, albeit very rudimentary and 2 days off in the week to look for work. As normal the A does no housework to speak of. He can't lift a cup, sweep a floor, pick up nothing. So...	maresie2	3	412	Mar 3, 2007 by evey
	I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!..........tonight (Preview) some nights I just can not see how I can stay with him for the rest of my life!!!!!!! Living like this. OK, I will say I don't get this miserable very often at all any more but when I am in physcal pain and after working my patootie off pick-axing, shoveling, pick -axing some more for 5 hours in the freezi...	puzzle	7	627	Mar 3, 2007 by bcanuck
	Developing Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C (Preview) Well, I survived a trip with my AHsober to see our son in the military. My AHsober was so careful to avoid any close contact with me. I just love the way he lectures our son - do what I say and not what I do. I told him that I see that we have 4 meetings - he presents his side, I present my side, we share together, an...	nmike	5	542	Mar 3, 2007 by kismetstrand
	What to do...... (Preview) I have been making myself sick over this one. My A has been drinking almost daily for months. It has been horrible around here......I am the only one working right now, full time, overnight stocking for Wal-mart. I don't have my own car right now, so I am using his to get to work and back. He does some...	jajanma	12	643	Mar 3, 2007 by Diva
	his humbling (Preview) My exA called me last night. I haven't spoken to him in weeks, even then it was short and curt. Anyway he was sober last night, says he's been sober for a few weeks now and is realising his mistakes, his losses. He says he's going to occasional meetings. He doesn't like meetings, but is t...	annmarie	4	375	Mar 3, 2007 by CJ
	Asking your body and mind...what actions or activities would make you feel better this week, month, year? (Preview) Sometimes just writing things down instead of just thinking them, gets us motivated to get on with life with things that are important for our health and minds. Those of us who live or have lived with active alcoholism become stagnant in life, and feel nothing is worth the effort Sometimes even gettin...	gardengal	5	490	Mar 3, 2007 by browneyes
	7 P's (Preview) This morning our topic was :let it Begin with me" and "Keep it Simple" Someone suggested I post something in my share the 7 P's Pain (sharing) Prayer (HP I choice to call God) Program (Alanon) Perspective (food for thought from others) Progress (where i was and where i am tod...	angel123	4	479	Mar 3, 2007 by aunitedway
	Responsibility (Preview) I realize when looking back that I took no responsibility for my life, my credit, my happiness, or anything related to me for that matter. I made and still continue to make choices passively, but I am learning. I am struggling with something lately. Both my spouses and my credit was ruined due to l...	Alyce	6	698	Mar 3, 2007 by Alyce
	Am I a contoller or enabler, both or neither? (Preview) Okay, a long time ago I learned what an enabler is and how I've been one in my marriage to my A. So I have learned how to keep out of the way of his drinking ( not ALL the time) and let him deal with it his own self. But I'm thinking that maybe enabling and controlling are related. A few time...	jaja	8	600	Mar 3, 2007 by maresie2
	OK, a new attempt (Preview) I only post to complain about the A and sometimes when I don't have anything to complain about I remember something from way back and bring it up. This is not good, I know that. Probably stems from some sort of codependant something or another, and I want to refresh a little. I want to say that my AH has...	RainyJamie	8	552	Mar 3, 2007 by maresie2
	it's all sooooo tiring (Preview) Ok my storey so far , hubby in aa but not working any programme, thinks putting the drink down is suffice, now replacing drinking with working 24/7 and woe betide anyone that questions his motives, how dare we, so he's decided to work himself to a frazzle, so now we have a highly stressed human bein...	Katy	5	625	Mar 3, 2007 by maresie2
	The a's secret plans hit and run and escape responsibility. (Preview) One of the A's favorite retorts is that he is going to up and leave. I never really took it seriously. Turns out in some of his little excursions that last 3 days or so like when he runs out and leaves and doesn't come back for days he has been going to see family who live like 2 hours away from here. ...	maresie2	6	550	Mar 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Living Life for me (Preview) hey family i haven't posted in a while. im up the walls busy with work and play ..lol.. im very proud of myself.... i just realised that in the last number of weeks. there was a time when all i cud think about was my "A" and HIS life... HIS choices... and MY pain... they HE caused.. or that I...	Rebecca	5	544	Mar 3, 2007 by ally
	The birthday party (Preview) Twenty years ago I met my very good friend. The first time she and her husband came to my house for dinner, they raided my liquor cabinet and got drunk. The second time they came to my house, they brought their own alcohol and got drunk. The third time they came to my house I set my boundaries. I told the...	ditto	3	379	Mar 2, 2007 by JMW
	Anyone going to the NJ Assembly meeting Sat? (Preview) I'm hoping to make it. Still up in the air but hoping to. Drop me a line. Would be great to put a face w/ the name or say hi to those I've met ! Bob	bobump	1	381	Mar 2, 2007 by aunitedway
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.