The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is my first time participating in this forum. Where to start?! I am married to an alcoholic. He seems like the ideal husband and father most of the time but every once in a while he goes on a binge. Last night he took off after I fell asleep and hasn't been home since (24 hrs). He won't answer his phone and he has our only car. He lost his license last year (two DUI's) and isn't covered by our insurance. We missed my neice's birthday party today and I am not sure how I am going to get the kids to school and make it to work tomorrow. For the first time I told my family members about his problem. It felt really good to let it out and recieve their support. He is not verbally or physically abusive to me but the emotional torture is hard to endure. I haven't slept and have called the hospitals, jail, and his buddies but haven't found him. It is so difficult to survive this. Every time I think I can trust him, he goes off on one of his binges. We don't fight but I've definetely withdrawn from him. My husband was abused as a child and I think I've let him get away with his behavior because I feel sorry for him and thought that he can't help it. But...he knows how much it hurts me and still refuses to get help. So I guess I will be the one who gets help so I can function and keep my sanity!
Welcome, wanted to say I am impressed how you handled this by speaking to others and changing what you can.
It is horrible when you have and A who does this. Mine used to also. I would be sure he was going to kill himself or whatever.
In reality they just don't want us to mess up their using. The disease takes over and takes them away.
I worked hard on putting him in hps hands. I would not even think abou thim. Went on with my own life.
I am so sorry he took your only car. Makes it so hard on you and the kids. Sounds like you may need to hide your keys, and or make sure he does not have any.
I am glad you are here, keep coming back. love,debilyn
Welcome to MIP and to your recovery! On this site, you will find experience, strength, and hope. In addition to visiting, posting, and responding on this site, I encourge you to get to face to face meetings, get a sponsor, and start working the steps. I am glad you found us!Welcome! BlueCloud
Please find Al-Anon meetings in your area as soon as possible , there is nothing u can do about him but alot u can do for yourself. In our prog u will find support from people who understand what your going thru , they will share thier own experiences with you and how the prog has changed thier lives for the better . Your life has been affected by someone elses drinking u too need to recover. here is the toll free international number for meetings in your area `1-888=4alanon good luck Louise
Welcome! I know exactly how you feel......been there myself making all those same phone calls. I eventually stopped after I started putting my a in my HP's hands. Plus I didn't want to keep calling the hospitals and police all the time since I didn't want them to think I was just some nutso and possibly dismiss a "real" call in the future lol.
You are in the right place for help, there is alot of experience, strength and hope on this board as well as in the chat room. Face to face meetings are also a very good idea if you can make them. I understand the car situation as I have been there countless times as well....that is why I thank God (my HP) for this room. I don't know where I would be right now if this room didn't exist when I was unable to get to a f2f meeting!
Thanks so much for your responses! It really is a comfort. By the way - he showed up at 5:30 a.m. this morning drunk and high! Fortunately my car is in one piece. I told him the only way he can stay in our house is if he gets help and I set a deadline. So he is going in for an assessment. Hope he takes it seriously this time.
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