In order to grow you need to be sincere and honest with yourself. You
are like anybody else neither better nor worse, just a human being.
Your sincerity and your will to be true are the key elements to your
realization.

Unknown

 Freud spent years of his research (and who knows how much cocaine!) trying to define what the "authentic self" was. How did a person know when they had reached it? How did a person define it? And how did we, their friends, realize when they were bluffing to us about it? Was it even necessary that we care?
 I've worked so hard at being authentic. I've been open, especially here, about letting myself fall on my face. Should the event occur, it happens in front of people who are also learning, however un graciously, that falling on one's face is not a life ending event and, at times can lead to learning things about oneself that, however un ceremoniously, creates growth. I've also realized that, of all the places to embarrass oneself, Al anon is probably the best place to do it.
 I realized this morning in Water Aerobics that not every1 feels this way. I caught the eye of a girl I went to high school with in the pool. She was in an adapted education class, teaching special ed students swimming (I believe she's getting certified in Physical Therapy? ). Anyway, the most emotionally intimate we got was when we shared a room during a retreat--and the poor girl woke up at 6am to see me stark naked, walking out of the bathroom, to dig my jeans out of my over night bag. Needless to say, when THAT made its way around the school, I believe SHE was more embarrassed than **I** was. I was like "Let's just say she got more than she bargained for before her first cup of cofee at 6 am ." She was like "Of all the things I DID NOT want to see...."  But as I watched her, every time she saw me, she looked away, embarassed. As if she was re living that moment.  Okay, it's a stretch. But it's a look I've seen often enough.
 It's the look of "OMG, I don't want to be here right now. In these circumstances. With this person."
 It's the look of "OMG, I can't believe this is happening. To me. Here. Now. At this moment." 
 It's THE LOOK. And we all know it. All of us who have been in the moment when our loved one, drunk as all get out, shows their self to the world, and we're convinced EVERYONE KNOWS that SOME HOW we're related to THEM. 
 It never occurs to us that other people are more worried about the idiot makin a fool outta themselves. Not us.
 It never occurs to us that people are more boggled by this fool making everyone else inconvenienced. They have no idea who WE are.
 Some people might. The people close to us, who care, might even feel embarassed for us.
 But they always wind up looking at the same result. always.
 If we're comfortable in our skin, in our authentic selves, then our loved one, drunk as they are, will ultimately influence us to live our own lives for ourselves.
 Besides, whenever someone tells me how they feel about my dad, any more I find myself hearing the same thing over and over and over: "I felt so sorry for you. But I was so glad that you were your own person."