The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This just came back to me, I can't believe I didn't mention this earlier! During our session, my AH told the therapist that we had a fight, and he told me to find a new place to live (all true). Then he tells her it wasn't difficult for him, that he could easily end our relationship without a second thought. She told him that was good and he had made a breakthrough...but I don't get it?! How is that a breakthrough? I was offended too. I take care of him, and he has the nerve to say he could leave me in a pile of dust like it was nothing??!
Hi Professor, I would get a new therapist and leave the AH at home. It helped me a lot to get clarity by seeing someone on my own. Money was an issue, but my job has an EAP program and I got three free appointments a year. It helped me tremendously. I found this place because of it!
Take care of yourself and trust your instincts, they just might be your higher power trying to tell you something.
Alcoholic husb and a therapist hmmmmmmmmm is he still drinking? If he is talk is cheap . And I am wondering why you are the one to leave your home , he wants it over he goes not you . And I agree with last post find somewhere to go on your own and get into Al-Anon meetings fast. You need support and u will find it in real meetings. this room and board are wonderful but u miss so much by not attending real f2f meetings . One thing I discovered is that They need us alot more than we need them !! after all we make them look good ,and in your case support him to boot. good luck please find your own recovery program and find out why u allow the things u do . hugs Louise
I'm laughing reading this post.. But I'm not laughing at you, by any means...I have just came out of a relationship, it was something in nothing... But It was a 20 year friendship, that moved into physical stuff...(BIG MISTAKE)..
Anyway, he could not handle the situation for whatever reason, and told my by text to:::
"Find new friends and leave me in peace",, That is an indication of the A personality.
Do they care? Have they got feelings for another human being? Are they just so selfish they dont see how they are treating other people, how easily they can hurt them? All these questions are a mystery and will probly remain one...
Just remember, YOU are worth more, than getting treated like that.. I am too, I'm just struggling to admit that to myself just now...
As they also say in these rooms, "Quit taking it personally" (lol)
But Hey c'mon, is that not a personal attack, I think it is LOL
I thought the role of a marriage therapist was to help perserve the marriage? It sounds like your MC is really fuzzy on his/her own boundaries of professionalism. If your AH wants to leave then that should be addressed and the MC should be discussing what is the new goal here of therapy. Is it to perserve the marriage or discuss how to end it amicably? A therapist is like a lawyer in my opinion if she/he is not benefitting you and your needs, fire them and get a new one. A strong therapist can remain objective and has more control over the session; especially if cross talk is happening. Just my 2cents, take what you like.
I'm sending you good thoughts and prayers, Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
