Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

A nother · A nother

I've been to a meeting tonight, and someone shared about how isolated they feel because their ah doesn't want people to know that he is an alcoholic. It's got me thinking, and not in a good way. The person who shared explained that she understood that this isn't her problem to share with friends. So she...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So weird turn of events part 2 kind of .. lol. This part is sad .. one of my very best friends who I have known online and talked about on the boards before has been living in active addiction. The difference is I saw this coming this time around, you could tell via the facebook posts and the texts I was rece...

JerryF · JerryF

On this month in 1959 my Sister quietly and with confidence let go of her life to the struggle with Lupus. She was heroic till the last second including telling the doctors and my mother and her new husband "I am ready to go...Let me". The day before she was sitting with other terminal patients at Kai...

A nother · A nother

He's been out drinking all day. The kids are asleep. HesH not back and to be honest I don't expect him to come home for a good while yet. I've got quite good at accepting his drinking most nights but this feels unsafe. I told him I still want to go ahead with the divorce yesterday. I know it's an old fear habit...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... my ability to remember, and to think, has improved a lot. I think about the key events in my life now- without slipping into the poors me's... ....the 'what if's and the if only's'. It took a whole lot of letting go- to achieve this. Age 8 or 10. My dad seems to have disappeared- and I was...

Lyne · Lyne

Self-honesty: The writer speaks about the difficulty they had when first coming to F2F meetings. They told funny stories , discussed problems they had already solved, and just couldn't let anyone see their pain and suffering. They came to realize that the only way to receive help was to allow othe...

luv123 · luv123

Wow what a 24 hr period of recovery and processing starting with Ala-teen out reach work with some community mental health agencies committing to add ala-teen to their websites... YES!!! the teens need to know we are here for them (also anyone with a teen who has no local meeting, just a reminder ther...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about how many of us who have lived in alcoholic families have used our sense of order to cope. We may seem inflexible, but associate a certain strictness and obedience in our habits with a feeling of safety. The writer describes learning to plant tulip bulbs...

a4l · a4l

Greetings MIP family! Today's 'Courage to Change' reading speaks of making the time to appreciate the simple beauties of life. The author recalls as a small child being entranced by a small caterpillar and the pleasure derived simply from watching the creature. This memory caused the writer to que...

JerryF · JerryF

while sitting on the sofa. Good morning Family!! It's very good for me as with coffee and toast I picked up our 3 daily readers from literature. I have mentioned it before that I was taught to listen and hear metaphorically; in pictures and the first reading used the Don Quixote story about tilting...

Carla61 · Carla61

I started to be nervous about me going away and leaving my husband home alone. trying to realize I cannot control what he does while I'm away. I want to enjoy my weekend without worrying about what hes going to be doing. I had to realize this is the start of surrendering.

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... ... I was lucky to have a nice stepfather. Honest and consistent. He gave my mum 30 years of happy marriage. He passed away six weeks ago. I knew that my side of the family- brothers and sister would create shenanigans. They absolutely refuse to have anything religious at a fune...

Freetime · Freetime

This reading points out that I am not responsible for the workings of the entire universe. When I am faced with a challenging situation, I can do my best, take care of my own responsibilities, and let a higher power take care of the rest. It does not help to worry or to force solutions. When I let go of what...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about progress, not perfection. Today's Reminder: Instead of assuming that I have failed because I am learning a difficult lesson once more, I might embrace the experiences as part of a long-term healing process that requires repetition and practice. I...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Sometimes the best thing to do in a situation is nothing .. nothing is something and sometimes just like I always hear more will be revealed. I had a very interesting turn of events occur regarding my youngest. Over the summer there was an "incident" in terms of drinking until blackout with his best f...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

This is what I've been praying about these days. I answered a few posts here tonight but not much to offer to others right now. It's hard to sit with things over which you have little to no control. I have worked through many of the feelings concerning the ending of my job. I received unemployment, have ap...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hi everybody Hi everybody I just wanted to stop in and say hello And tell you that last Saturday I had a very very bad back spasm, it was so bad by Sunday I could not even get around. Dressing myself to get to urgent care was sheer agony I had to go to emergency care and found this really wonderful Doctor Wh...

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading, the author reflects on expectations that many newcomers have for AlAnon. Many of us may have been governed by a strict rule of order as a way to feel that we had some control living with the disease of Alcoholism. We may have expected a program as successful as AlAnon to be even more ri...

SoulSearcher · SoulSearcher

Hi, I have yet to start the steps of alanon however, I have attended a few meetings. My on Ana doff boyfriend of four years just came back from rehab two weeks ago. Throughout our whole relationship he had promised to get help or get better and I kept holding onto his promises that never came true. Eventua...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Hi everyone Having a period of ups and downs. Mostly downs or flatligning. Just could do with some esh please. Sad when you realise situations won't change eh and you just gotta get on with things for the short term until you can get out. X

hotrod · hotrod

The odat reading for October 16 speaks about the negative coping tools that we develop when living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that alanon is a fellowship of equals and that those who come to meetings with feelings of superiority often find that the people that they judge harsh...

Lyne · Lyne

Forgiveness: Today's reading talks about the most loving form of detachment, which is forgiveness. It doesn't wipe the slate clean, or pronounce someone "not guilty." Forgiveness cuts the strings of resentment that bind them to a problem or past hurt. By releasing resentment, you set yoursel...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi MIP! I'm just checking in to post a custody question and a quick update on my life. I love reading this board daily, it keeps me grounded and everyone here is so inspiring and following the principles of this program keeps me centred. I just moved into my new house and life is finally really coming toge...

mamalioness · mamalioness

there is absolutely ZERO that anyone can do about this and I think the stress of it caused my major back spasm lately my BIGGEST client has not been doing well...Bad decisions by the dad, doing really ill advised financial moves, its been bad of late (last 2 years) but when lenders don't wanna lend them a...

a4l · a4l

Greetings MIP family. Today's Courage to Change reading speaks of awareness bought to the authors' attention through attending meetings. The action to change includes the use of the slogans, and todays reading features a beautiful example of "Easy does it" as a new response to frustration prev...

Pol · Pol

Growing up I only had my mom as my dad passed away at an early age. So I have my "uncle" who is technically not related to me in anyway but him and my mom grew up together so wherever we were he would move in with us every few years to help my mom out with babysitting and being an alcoholic himself...they got alo...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Thirty-one years ago on the Sunday past, I ended up at a treatment center. I can readily admit that I did NOT go voluntarily; I had a nudge from a judge as I had two serious court cases/charges against me from 2 different states. I tied on the biggest 'one' possible on that day, thus consider 10/8 as my so...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I haven't heard from my friend and I don't think I will mostly because I believe if she's not in the hospital she is in a rehab facility and I have doubts if she is still in the throws of the disease even when she gets out she will not contact me. I understand the shame and self pity for lack of a better term. S...

Hi All - New Member · GrpThrpy41

Hello, I am new to the forum and wanted to say hi. I heard about the forum today via my husband's therapist. Today, for the first time ever, he asked me if I would join him for his therapy session. He started seeing a therapist within the last month after our fighting over his use got especially bad. I am th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I saw my mom & survived the visit. I was so worried about what she might say about the past. She is in an assisted living center for mentally I'll people. She is doing well but me I feel anxiety because of the visit. It was too close to home

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the relationship we have w our HP and how sometimes we may question it or the strength of the connection there. The writer mentions that after the loss of his parents he also felt the loss of his connection w God, or at least felt an abandonment at that tim...

bud · bud

I knew better but still have old unhealthy patterns of being conflict avoidant at any cost. I've recently been shocked at a "friend's" behavior towards me name calling, standing me up for plans and after I'm there sending a lame text "I'm out having fun with X, hope you're not upset." She had borrowed e...

Freetime · Freetime

One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, October 12, is the fable of a woman who kept her alcoholic husband and her three teenage children under her Enormous Thumb. Because they were stuck under the Enormous Thumb, the husband and kids were flattened and could not do any growing up. The woman was a Very Nice Lady, wh...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 9 speaks about our attitudes towards God.,prior to entering program. The reading suggests that many of us looked at God as an adversary and refused to reach out for help. I can so identify with that feeling. When the pain of addiction became too much, the reading indi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses how many of us tend to look for answers by over-analyzing with often black/white thinking. Many of us, when new to Al-Anon, were asked to learn about the disease of alcoholism. Many of us again sought to read, study, analyze all that we could on the subject. We then began t...

norasq · norasq

Hi - Im struggling with a situation and would welcome any ESH. i have been separated from my X-AH for 5 years, divorced for 1.5 yrs. his drinking and Xanax use were big issues. he was a zombie or mean and biting for the last few years. Denied having a proglem with substances. Refused to get help or do couns...

Carla61 · Carla61

My AH is adopted And met many of his brothers and sisters through ancestry.com. These people are in town tonight and he wants to have dinner with them I'm ok with that. However he texted me to call his IOP program to tell them he will not be there tonight because of a work crisis. I told him to call them hims...

pikelpak · pikelpak

Hi all, I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. We have a step meeting in our city, which is really helpful for recovery. We have been recently getting into the discussion, how much we can deviate from the step (one step a month, say, step 9 for September). I first thought, the step is like a topic in any other Al...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I knew his path must be taking him here, but it picked up speed so quickly that it is shocking. Unlike many A's, he has not been in and out of the ER or had multiple medical emergencies... hadn't been to a dr in over three years, and now he is in a nursing home and his body is shutting down from liver and kidney...

Pol · Pol

I consider myself new to alanon because I feel I don't have it down yet like other long time members do. But the trouble I'm having is that I don't know if I want to stick to the program. The reason I joined alanon was because alcoholism has effected me and is still continuing to do its damage. Because of thi...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about accepting what we cannot change and changing what we can. The author shares that, as a child, they used to cling to the door handle of the car when the car went around a sharp curve so as to prevent the car from going over the edge. Of course,...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is both about the unique relationship of sponsor/sponsee and the gift of hearing and listening to our HPs will. The writer describes how early in the program as he/she was without a sponsor, the perception of the person who would one day become the sponsor was t...

Jozie · Jozie

Boy this Disease I Swear sits like a Gargoyle on a Post Waiting to Attack at any moment in my Family... One of the Hardest things I have had to work on thru my Own addiction is "Judgment" In my Family Everyone Judges Everyone (Mostly Based on Opinion) Never on Honest Truth, because Honestly I don't know...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This is along the lines of another poster who spoke of "the lies". My understanding of the disease of addiction is it will do anything to survive and if given a place to hide it will remain stagnated however active in thought and deed. That doesn't mean out right confrontation is a solution .. althou...

Lyne · Lyne

I learned on Friday that a childhood friend died from breast cancer. I had little contact with her in my adult life, but did send a yearly birthday and holiday card. About two years ago we talked about making amends in my F2F meeting, and I realized with all the amends I had made, I owed her one. I didn't w...

Lyne · Lyne

Recovery, miracles, and gratitude: The writer points out that in spite of frustration, anger, disappointment, and anxiety, brought forth from coping with a loved one's alcoholism , they could still learn to live a serene and happy life. The writer says that this alone is a miracle, and by practic...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

This reading from "The Language of Letting Go," By M. Beattie jumped out at me, and stuck with me throughout my day. So much so that I asked permission to post it. I think it may help others who like me, find themselves in the "second-half" of their life and are without their spouse who was the main bread-w...

RachelsMom · RachelsMom

Hi there! I've had a couple of good months with daughter making some progress. But, alas, the peaceful period of time is over. Again. She had a job but lost it. Moved in with a guy she had just met and, amazingly, it was going pretty well. This guy was her age (28) and was a father at 18. His Father had to sen...

Lyne · Lyne

In about an hour I am going to take a walk with my brother who abused me in childhood into teen years. I have decided that besides for his bad health heart-wise, that it may help me overcome my PTSD if I can be with him and feel in control. All my work in program has brought me to this point of strength and con...

el-cee · el-cee

Im thinking more and more about step 3 and God's will for me. I feel step 3 is a really important step and my understanding is becoming deeper. 'Made a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understood him.' I can see that I have made the decision over the years without fully under...

a4l · a4l

Greetings MIP family. Today's reading speaks about how growth in recovery is an ongoing process and opportunity. "Although the crisis that bought us to Alanon may be past, there is always something new to learn, even after years of recovery".I am reminded in this reading of my own perspective tow...

Freetime · Freetime

This page talks about replacing negativity with gratitude for the positive qualities in ourselves, our circumstances, and other human beings. Negativity keeps our life at a standstill. The writer believes they have a beautiful spirit that has been created for some purpose, as do the other peopl...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Reading posts recently about whether or not our actions are enabling - reminded me of an old post of mine, with some awesome reminders from one of the leaders in the field - Toby Rice Drews (author of the Getting Them Sober series of books). She has an awesome, gentle, supportive way of saying so much - I...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi Y'all, I borrowed the title off of another member... My own take was a little boat sailing out into the surf. What I didn't say was that my sister and two brothers were on the boat with crowbars- ramming holes in the bottom. Or that is how it feels like to me. Not only am I affected, but I am surrounded with...

a4l · a4l

It's been a painful year. Painful in the ego sense I guess and my little people have had to endure a really tired mother. I feel at times really close to giving up, usually when I am confronted with huge mountains of washing, a bar of laundry soap and my two hands. I get a case of the "poor me's" and the "wh...

Carla61 · Carla61

I love my husband, don't get me wrong, I'm just done with the lies . I can support him when he is sober, but when he drinks, I just want to ignore him. Am I wrong? Please help me.

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about compassion. The author shares that at first, they did not know what compassion was, but they could identify what it was not. Compassion was not seeking revenge, holding a grudge, calling names, throwing things, etc. So the author began to try...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Posting for tomorrow - I've got golf plans... The reading in courage talks about how we suggest concentrating on our similarities instead of our differences. When we remember why we are all here, we need never feel alone. We do have differences and there is no reason they should not be acknowledged...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I have been thinking about something for about a week. Using my tools, etc. The latest I have settled on is, "When in doubt don't." The crazy thing is, I am having doubts about that! LOL! Today is my Ex's birthday. Last week his mother invited myself and Kid to a birthday get-together at her house this Su...

serenity47 · serenity47

I am feeling sad and frustrated today. My grown children whom have always been very close growing up are having a major falling out. We had attended the funeral of my sons young friend yesterday (age 18). My grown AD came to support her brother but that support was rejected by him. I know he is hurti...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	What about us? (Preview) I've been to a meeting tonight, and someone shared about how isolated they feel because their ah doesn't want people to know that he is an alcoholic. It's got me thinking, and not in a good way. The person who shared explained that she understood that this isn't her problem to share with friends. So she...	A nother	12	1576	Oct 25, 2018 by tiredtonite
	When things come full circle .. (Preview) So weird turn of events part 2 kind of .. lol. This part is sad .. one of my very best friends who I have known online and talked about on the boards before has been living in active addiction. The difference is I saw this coming this time around, you could tell via the facebook posts and the texts I was rece...	SerenityRUS	6	1022	Oct 24, 2018 by norasq
	A Lita Anniversary (Preview) On this month in 1959 my Sister quietly and with confidence let go of her life to the struggle with Lupus. She was heroic till the last second including telling the doctors and my mother and her new husband "I am ready to go...Let me". The day before she was sitting with other terminal patients at Kai...	JerryF	9	1004	Oct 23, 2018 by Jozie
	I don't feel safe (Preview) He's been out drinking all day. The kids are asleep. HesH not back and to be honest I don't expect him to come home for a good while yet. I've got quite good at accepting his drinking most nights but this feels unsafe. I told him I still want to go ahead with the divorce yesterday. I know it's an old fear habit...	A nother	11	1858	Oct 22, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	A not so random memory... (Preview) Hi y'all... my ability to remember, and to think, has improved a lot. I think about the key events in my life now- without slipping into the poors me's... ....the 'what if's and the if only's'. It took a whole lot of letting go- to achieve this. Age 8 or 10. My dad seems to have disappeared- and I was...	DavidG	4	2448	Oct 22, 2018 by Pol
	C2C, 10/22 (Preview) Self-honesty: The writer speaks about the difficulty they had when first coming to F2F meetings. They told funny stories , discussed problems they had already solved, and just couldn't let anyone see their pain and suffering. They came to realize that the only way to receive help was to allow othe...	Lyne	4	949	Oct 22, 2018 by Pol
	Learning Trust (Preview) Wow what a 24 hr period of recovery and processing starting with Ala-teen out reach work with some community mental health agencies committing to add ala-teen to their websites... YES!!! the teens need to know we are here for them (also anyone with a teen who has no local meeting, just a reminder ther...	luv123	4	2642	Oct 22, 2018 by luv123
	Hope for Today Oct 21 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about how many of us who have lived in alcoholic families have used our sense of order to cope. We may seem inflexible, but associate a certain strictness and obedience in our habits with a feeling of safety. The writer describes learning to plant tulip bulbs...	yanksfan51	4	3036	Oct 21, 2018 by a4l
	C2C 20/10/2018 (Preview) Greetings MIP family! Today's 'Courage to Change' reading speaks of making the time to appreciate the simple beauties of life. The author recalls as a small child being entranced by a small caterpillar and the pleasure derived simply from watching the creature. This memory caused the writer to que...	a4l	5	636	Oct 20, 2018 by Iamhere
	Alanon Recovery college (Preview) while sitting on the sofa. Good morning Family!! It's very good for me as with coffee and toast I picked up our 3 daily readers from literature. I have mentioned it before that I was taught to listen and hear metaphorically; in pictures and the first reading used the Don Quixote story about tilting...	JerryF	3	2245	Oct 19, 2018 by JerryF
	Going away to college reunion (Preview) I started to be nervous about me going away and leaving my husband home alone. trying to realize I cannot control what he does while I'm away. I want to enjoy my weekend without worrying about what hes going to be doing. I had to realize this is the start of surrendering.	Carla61	4	2596	Oct 19, 2018 by Bo
	If family can't be fixed... ??? (Preview) Hi y'all... ... I was lucky to have a nice stepfather. Honest and consistent. He gave my mum 30 years of happy marriage. He passed away six weeks ago. I knew that my side of the family- brothers and sister would create shenanigans. They absolutely refuse to have anything religious at a fune...	DavidG	8	2280	Oct 19, 2018 by Lyne
	C2C 10/19/18 (Preview) This reading points out that I am not responsible for the workings of the entire universe. When I am faced with a challenging situation, I can do my best, take care of my own responsibilities, and let a higher power take care of the rest. It does not help to worry or to force solutions. When I let go of what...	Freetime	4	2542	Oct 19, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change 10/18/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about progress, not perfection. Today's Reminder: Instead of assuming that I have failed because I am learning a difficult lesson once more, I might embrace the experiences as part of a long-term healing process that requires repetition and practice. I...	Iamhere	3	2288	Oct 18, 2018 by JerryF
	Turn of Events .. (Preview) Sometimes the best thing to do in a situation is nothing .. nothing is something and sometimes just like I always hear more will be revealed. I had a very interesting turn of events occur regarding my youngest. Over the summer there was an "incident" in terms of drinking until blackout with his best f...	SerenityRUS	3	1474	Oct 18, 2018 by Iamhere
	The Wisdom to Know the Difference (Preview) This is what I've been praying about these days. I answered a few posts here tonight but not much to offer to others right now. It's hard to sit with things over which you have little to no control. I have worked through many of the feelings concerning the ending of my job. I received unemployment, have ap...	tiredtonite	15	2086	Oct 17, 2018 by Jen61
	Recovering from injury (Preview) Hi everybody Hi everybody I just wanted to stop in and say hello And tell you that last Saturday I had a very very bad back spasm, it was so bad by Sunday I could not even get around. Dressing myself to get to urgent care was sheer agony I had to go to emergency care and found this really wonderful Doctor Wh...	mamalioness	12	2095	Oct 17, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change October 17, 2018 (Preview) In today's reading, the author reflects on expectations that many newcomers have for AlAnon. Many of us may have been governed by a strict rule of order as a way to feel that we had some control living with the disease of Alcoholism. We may have expected a program as successful as AlAnon to be even more ri...	Skorpi	5	919	Oct 17, 2018 by a4l
	Broken Relationship - Any Advice (Preview) Hi, I have yet to start the steps of alanon however, I have attended a few meetings. My on Ana doff boyfriend of four years just came back from rehab two weeks ago. Throughout our whole relationship he had promised to get help or get better and I kept holding onto his promises that never came true. Eventua...	SoulSearcher	2	2787	Oct 17, 2018 by Skorpi
	having a crap day send me some ESH (Preview) Hi everyone Having a period of ups and downs. Mostly downs or flatligning. Just could do with some esh please. Sad when you realise situations won't change eh and you just gotta get on with things for the short term until you can get out. X	jitsuka	9	753	Oct 17, 2018 by jitsuka
	ODAT reading 10-16 (Preview) The odat reading for October 16 speaks about the negative coping tools that we develop when living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that alanon is a fellowship of equals and that those who come to meetings with feelings of superiority often find that the people that they judge harsh...	hotrod	6	646	Oct 17, 2018 by a4l
	C2C, 10/15 (Preview) Forgiveness: Today's reading talks about the most loving form of detachment, which is forgiveness. It doesn't wipe the slate clean, or pronounce someone "not guilty." Forgiveness cuts the strings of resentment that bind them to a problem or past hurt. By releasing resentment, you set yoursel...	Lyne	7	2122	Oct 16, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Checking in and more custody questions (Preview) Hi MIP! I'm just checking in to post a custody question and a quick update on my life. I love reading this board daily, it keeps me grounded and everyone here is so inspiring and following the principles of this program keeps me centred. I just moved into my new house and life is finally really coming toge...	VickiR	7	2794	Oct 16, 2018 by VickiR
	I think I just need a hug (Preview) there is absolutely ZERO that anyone can do about this and I think the stress of it caused my major back spasm lately my BIGGEST client has not been doing well...Bad decisions by the dad, doing really ill advised financial moves, its been bad of late (last 2 years) but when lenders don't wanna lend them a...	mamalioness	9	2436	Oct 16, 2018 by mamalioness
	C2C 13/10/2018 (Preview) Greetings MIP family. Today's Courage to Change reading speaks of awareness bought to the authors' attention through attending meetings. The action to change includes the use of the slogans, and todays reading features a beautiful example of "Easy does it" as a new response to frustration prev...	a4l	6	1957	Oct 16, 2018 by mamalioness
	So I had a visitor yesterday. (Preview) Growing up I only had my mom as my dad passed away at an early age. So I have my "uncle" who is technically not related to me in anyway but him and my mom grew up together so wherever we were he would move in with us every few years to help my mom out with babysitting and being an alcoholic himself...they got alo...	Pol	7	2153	Oct 15, 2018 by Pol
	The Miracles of Recovery (Preview) Thirty-one years ago on the Sunday past, I ended up at a treatment center. I can readily admit that I did NOT go voluntarily; I had a nudge from a judge as I had two serious court cases/charges against me from 2 different states. I tied on the biggest 'one' possible on that day, thus consider 10/8 as my so...	Iamhere	14	3177	Oct 15, 2018 by serenity47
	Update .. in a weird place (Preview) I haven't heard from my friend and I don't think I will mostly because I believe if she's not in the hospital she is in a rehab facility and I have doubts if she is still in the throws of the disease even when she gets out she will not contact me. I understand the shame and self pity for lack of a better term. S...	SerenityRUS	6	694	Oct 15, 2018 by andromeda
	Hi All - New Member (Preview) Hello, I am new to the forum and wanted to say hi. I heard about the forum today via my husband's therapist. Today, for the first time ever, he asked me if I would join him for his therapy session. He started seeing a therapist within the last month after our fighting over his use got especially bad. I am th...	GrpThrpy41	9	2650	Oct 15, 2018 by jitsuka
	I survived! (Preview) I saw my mom & survived the visit. I was so worried about what she might say about the past. She is in an assisted living center for mentally I'll people. She is doing well but me I feel anxiety because of the visit. It was too close to home	Hoot Nanny	4	2594	Oct 14, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope for Today October 14 (Preview) good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the relationship we have w our HP and how sometimes we may question it or the strength of the connection there. The writer mentions that after the loss of his parents he also felt the loss of his connection w God, or at least felt an abandonment at that tim...	yanksfan51	2	2238	Oct 14, 2018 by Iamhere
	Alanon tools for dignity (Preview) I knew better but still have old unhealthy patterns of being conflict avoidant at any cost. I've recently been shocked at a "friend's" behavior towards me name calling, standing me up for plans and after I'm there sending a lame text "I'm out having fun with X, hope you're not upset." She had borrowed e...	bud	13	2393	Oct 12, 2018 by bud
	ODAT 10/12/18 (Preview) One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, October 12, is the fable of a woman who kept her alcoholic husband and her three teenage children under her Enormous Thumb. Because they were stuck under the Enormous Thumb, the husband and kids were flattened and could not do any growing up. The woman was a Very Nice Lady, wh...	Freetime	10	2254	Oct 12, 2018 by Pol
	C2C 10-9 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 9 speaks about our attitudes towards God.,prior to entering program. The reading suggests that many of us looked at God as an adversary and refused to reach out for help. I can so identify with that feeling. When the pain of addiction became too much, the reading indi...	hotrod	6	1736	Oct 12, 2018 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 10/11/18 (Preview) Today's reading discusses how many of us tend to look for answers by over-analyzing with often black/white thinking. Many of us, when new to Al-Anon, were asked to learn about the disease of alcoholism. Many of us again sought to read, study, analyze all that we could on the subject. We then began t...	Iamhere	6	2584	Oct 12, 2018 by mamalioness
	Boundaries and trying to stay in my lane (Preview) Hi - Im struggling with a situation and would welcome any ESH. i have been separated from my X-AH for 5 years, divorced for 1.5 yrs. his drinking and Xanax use were big issues. he was a zombie or mean and biting for the last few years. Denied having a proglem with substances. Refused to get help or do couns...	norasq	14	1263	Oct 11, 2018 by Pol
	Baby steps (Preview) My AH is adopted And met many of his brothers and sisters through ancestry.com. These people are in town tonight and he wants to have dinner with them I'm ok with that. However he texted me to call his IOP program to tell them he will not be there tonight because of a work crisis. I told him to call them hims...	Carla61	13	908	Oct 11, 2018 by Pol
	Step meetings (Preview) Hi all, I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. We have a step meeting in our city, which is really helpful for recovery. We have been recently getting into the discussion, how much we can deviate from the step (one step a month, say, step 9 for September). I first thought, the step is like a topic in any other Al...	pikelpak	4	693	Oct 10, 2018 by pikelpak
	it's come to this: ex-AH has liver failure and is on hospice (Preview) I knew his path must be taking him here, but it picked up speed so quickly that it is shocking. Unlike many A's, he has not been in and out of the ER or had multiple medical emergencies... hadn't been to a dr in over three years, and now he is in a nursing home and his body is shutting down from liver and kidney...	oceanpine	28	919	Oct 10, 2018 by Jazzie18
	The addiction of Drama (Preview) I consider myself new to alanon because I feel I don't have it down yet like other long time members do. But the trouble I'm having is that I don't know if I want to stick to the program. The reason I joined alanon was because alcoholism has effected me and is still continuing to do its damage. Because of thi...	Pol	10	809	Oct 10, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change October 10 (Preview) Good morning MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about accepting what we cannot change and changing what we can. The author shares that, as a child, they used to cling to the door handle of the car when the car went around a sharp curve so as to prevent the car from going over the edge. Of course,...	Skorpi	4	600	Oct 10, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope for Today Oct 7 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is both about the unique relationship of sponsor/sponsee and the gift of hearing and listening to our HPs will. The writer describes how early in the program as he/she was without a sponsor, the perception of the person who would one day become the sponsor was t...	yanksfan51	4	1859	Oct 9, 2018 by DavidG
	This Disease runs Deeper then any Bloodline... (Preview) Boy this Disease I Swear sits like a Gargoyle on a Post Waiting to Attack at any moment in my Family... One of the Hardest things I have had to work on thru my Own addiction is "Judgment" In my Family Everyone Judges Everyone (Mostly Based on Opinion) Never on Honest Truth, because Honestly I don't know...	Jozie	4	503	Oct 9, 2018 by Jozie
	Changing relationships .. (Preview) This is along the lines of another poster who spoke of "the lies". My understanding of the disease of addiction is it will do anything to survive and if given a place to hide it will remain stagnated however active in thought and deed. That doesn't mean out right confrontation is a solution .. althou...	SerenityRUS	9	612	Oct 8, 2018 by andromeda
	Made amends thank God (Preview) I learned on Friday that a childhood friend died from breast cancer. I had little contact with her in my adult life, but did send a yearly birthday and holiday card. About two years ago we talked about making amends in my F2F meeting, and I realized with all the amends I had made, I owed her one. I didn't w...	Lyne	7	508	Oct 8, 2018 by JerryF
	C2C, 10/8 (Preview) Recovery, miracles, and gratitude: The writer points out that in spite of frustration, anger, disappointment, and anxiety, brought forth from coping with a loved one's alcoholism , they could still learn to live a serene and happy life. The writer says that this alone is a miracle, and by practic...	Lyne	6	418	Oct 8, 2018 by Pol
	Faith & Money (Preview) This reading from "The Language of Letting Go," By M. Beattie jumped out at me, and stuck with me throughout my day. So much so that I asked permission to post it. I think it may help others who like me, find themselves in the "second-half" of their life and are without their spouse who was the main bread-w...	PosiesandPuppies	2	547	Oct 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	Problem child update (it's been awhile) (Preview) Hi there! I've had a couple of good months with daughter making some progress. But, alas, the peaceful period of time is over. Again. She had a job but lost it. Moved in with a guy she had just met and, amazingly, it was going pretty well. This guy was her age (28) and was a father at 18. His Father had to sen...	RachelsMom	7	550	Oct 8, 2018 by Jozie
	taking a walk (Preview) In about an hour I am going to take a walk with my brother who abused me in childhood into teen years. I have decided that besides for his bad health heart-wise, that it may help me overcome my PTSD if I can be with him and feel in control. All my work in program has brought me to this point of strength and con...	Lyne	9	544	Oct 6, 2018 by hotrod
	God's Will (Preview) Im thinking more and more about step 3 and God's will for me. I feel step 3 is a really important step and my understanding is becoming deeper. 'Made a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understood him.' I can see that I have made the decision over the years without fully under...	el-cee	8	768	Oct 6, 2018 by JerryF
	C2C 10/6/2018 (Preview) Greetings MIP family. Today's reading speaks about how growth in recovery is an ongoing process and opportunity. "Although the crisis that bought us to Alanon may be past, there is always something new to learn, even after years of recovery".I am reminded in this reading of my own perspective tow...	a4l	4	471	Oct 6, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change 10/5/18 (Preview) This page talks about replacing negativity with gratitude for the positive qualities in ourselves, our circumstances, and other human beings. Negativity keeps our life at a standstill. The writer believes they have a beautiful spirit that has been created for some purpose, as do the other peopl...	Freetime	6	501	Oct 5, 2018 by Iamhere
	Labels of enabler or codependent..... (Preview) Reading posts recently about whether or not our actions are enabling - reminded me of an old post of mine, with some awesome reminders from one of the leaders in the field - Toby Rice Drews (author of the Getting Them Sober series of books). She has an awesome, gentle, supportive way of saying so much - I...	canadianguy	7	696	Oct 5, 2018 by Pol
	"I run towards the roar..." ... II (Preview) Hi Y'all, I borrowed the title off of another member... My own take was a little boat sailing out into the surf. What I didn't say was that my sister and two brothers were on the boat with crowbars- ramming holes in the bottom. Or that is how it feels like to me. Not only am I affected, but I am surrounded with...	DavidG	9	852	Oct 5, 2018 by Bo
	Needing to start again. Again! lol (Preview) It's been a painful year. Painful in the ego sense I guess and my little people have had to endure a really tired mother. I feel at times really close to giving up, usually when I am confronted with huge mountains of washing, a bar of laundry soap and my two hands. I get a case of the "poor me's" and the "wh...	a4l	8	562	Oct 5, 2018 by hotrod
	The lies (Preview) I love my husband, don't get me wrong, I'm just done with the lies . I can support him when he is sober, but when he drinks, I just want to ignore him. Am I wrong? Please help me.	Carla61	13	638	Oct 4, 2018 by Jen61
	Courage to Change October 3 2018 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about compassion. The author shares that at first, they did not know what compassion was, but they could identify what it was not. Compassion was not seeking revenge, holding a grudge, calling names, throwing things, etc. So the author began to try...	Skorpi	7	461	Oct 4, 2018 by serenity47
	Courage to Change 10/4/18 (Preview) Posting for tomorrow - I've got golf plans... The reading in courage talks about how we suggest concentrating on our similarities instead of our differences. When we remember why we are all here, we need never feel alone. We do have differences and there is no reason they should not be acknowledged...	Iamhere	3	670	Oct 4, 2018 by Skorpi
	I think I need help with the way I feel (Preview) I have been thinking about something for about a week. Using my tools, etc. The latest I have settled on is, "When in doubt don't." The crazy thing is, I am having doubts about that! LOL! Today is my Ex's birthday. Last week his mother invited myself and Kid to a birthday get-together at her house this Su...	PosiesandPuppies	17	653	Oct 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	Stress and grief shines a light on the fractures in the family (Preview) I am feeling sad and frustrated today. My grown children whom have always been very close growing up are having a major falling out. We had attended the funeral of my sons young friend yesterday (age 18). My grown AD came to support her brother but that support was rejected by him. I know he is hurti...	serenity47	9	698	Oct 2, 2018 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.