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Post Info TOPIC: Hope for Today Oct 21


~*Service Worker*~

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Hope for Today Oct 21


Good morning Everyone-

Todays reading is about how many of us who have lived in alcoholic families have used our sense of order to cope. We may seem inflexible, but associate a certain strictness and obedience in our habits with a feeling of safety.   The writer describes learning to plant tulip bulbs from her mother, and tells of how they were always planted in straight rows.  The writer never questioned this way until adulthood when she considered the possibility of planting flowers in clusters.  She began to see the creative and adventurous possibilities when allowing herself to color outside of the lines a bit.

I can identify with this reading as my life has become very much built around structure and routines.  I think there was an element of gravitating toward teaching in an elementary school for that reason.  I like the order of the school day, the schedules we follow, and the predictability of it.  I think that is also part of what has been so helpful at alanon meetings knowing what to expect with the order of how they are run.  I also think for me, having grown up in the church, that I appreciate the comfort of the order of a church service.  I know that I have this tendency within myself to crave order in this way but am working on letting go of expecting other people in my life to follow in the same way.

I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday!

Mary



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~*Service Worker*~

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Good Morning Mary I can so identify and still do crave order and routine as it makes my life more manageable Since entering alanon i have developed the skill of minding my own business and no longer insist that others follow in my footsteps.It is enough for me to arrange my day in an orderly fashion and know that I have the tools to rise to the occasion if the plan changes.

Have a great day and thanks for your continued service

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

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Good morning Mary and Betty! Thank you for your ESH and shares. Mary - thank you also for the daily and your service. I too still prefer order and structure, and also have a plan for most days. What's changed for me in recovery is I do actually have a day/so open in case things come up and I avoid planning the outcomes. This helps me respond instead of react when 'life' happens. I am grateful that Al-Anon gives us the tools to embrace life one day at a time, and a belief in a Higher Power who leads us when we ask.

Happy Sunday to all - off to a meeting in a while. NFL later on - grateful for football season!!!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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 Good topic Mary, and y'all... smile ...

The A. in my life and a perfectionist and expected everything in sight to be done perfectly. But his life was far from perfect.

Our family home had an acre of grounds around them- with a fountain- rose beds, tulips, daffodils and more. But gardening was never done and lawns were never mowed. Our valley was semi-arid and there was no watering. It was survive or die. I thought my life was like that too.

When i eventually left the property I took some jonquil bulbs, and kept them going. They were great survivors!

Living in a own now I grew the bulbs along the west wall. I always mulched them and they grow bigger and more prolific each year. I also grow hollyhocks- which flower later and much larger. They survive dry conditions too!

aww Thanks for the share... smile ...



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Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  

a4l


~*Service Worker*~

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Thank you for this Yanksfan and the service. I kind of struggled with this one and had to keep reading it. I think I picked up more on the chaotic side of things as I tend to make radical changes every five to seven years, I can't stand things to be the same and get itchy feet after a while in one place, rearrange furniture all the time and consider myself amazing (haha) when for five school days in a row everyone's had breakfast and made it to school within two minutes of the drum banging ( instead of a bell ringing). But from my children's eyes, I suppose my need for order comess out in the firm expectations I have of them in public and to some extent in their home as well with the way in which they speak and very strict rules around education, association, bedtime and screens. I can see this being problematic without regular reflection. I like what Betty said about it being enough to organise her own day in an orderly fashion without the need to extend that to others. I like it because boundaries are a major issue in my own foo and perhaps even culturally come to think of it. This is something for me to think about today. Is my day sufficiently self organised to my own liking and with the modicum of consideration those I share space with require? Are my own boundaries being respected in terms of someone else's organisation governing similarly their own day with consideration for shared space and no further? Great topic.

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