The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I lost myself.Again.Forgot who I was,forgot I have choices and options.Forgot I even exist as a person.That I am not just an extension of my ALO's.It was so easy to do,I got pulled into that tunnel that has no light at the end of it.Again..It's SO hard to stay above water sometimes when you feel like you're being sucked to the bottom of the ocean.
Depressing,huh?
But I am back here.Again.Ready to find myself and my life.Again.
I'm like you. Second chances, repeatedly second chances.
Is there an AlAnon slogan you find helpful? For me, it's "how important is it?". Some things are important, and that's where I put my effort.
I am also one of my important areas. I remember feeling I had no identity, but that's no longer the case. Slowly, step by step.
You're OK. Hold onto your Alanon program with both hands. It's my experience that being with too many ALO at the same time and no one in recovery to anchor me, support of my interactions can feel realllllly lonely. Someone once reminded me that my higher power is portable and that I can take hp wherever I go. In those frustrating moments, I can say HP help me! Some say Serenity now! Our sponsors are just a phone call away too.
Glad you swam up from the bottom of the ocean and came here for air. We all get sucked under sometimes. Some days are better than others. But because some of these situations happen again, we begin recognizing them for what they are. Sometimes I forget not to engage but not always. Sometimes I realize I can remove myself from a conversation or situation. It's progress not perfection for me. Every day I get a chance to learn a little more about myself, my triggers, my wants, my needs. The lessons help me to make better choices, to choose me. Thanks for sharing the journey with me. (((hugs))) TT
-- Edited by tiredtonite on Monday 22nd of October 2018 05:30:05 PM
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Glad that you found your way back from the brink SS . You are not alone. The tools are difficult to use but remember it is progress no perfection that we seek.
Sadly that is One thing I Found in My Recovery that is EASY To Do, if I Don't work Daily tords my Goals, Its So Hard sometimes Taking My Attention off them, and Placing it on myself, but when I Do... Oh the Joy that Follows...
So Glad you Found your Way back here, For if there is Anywhere that Can Bring you Back from the Brinks of Disaster its MIP & Al-Anon or So it has rung true for me...
Be Easy on yourself, We ALL Back Slide from time to Time, but Each time we Pull ourselves Up, We find More Strength then we ever thought possible... Thanks for Sharing, Sometimes I Need Reminded to Work My Program harder when Despair awaits me on every corner it seems at times <3
I am glad you chose the path that helps YOU. Keep coming back. You are so worth it!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Soggy years ago in early program I also kept looking for that tunnel, where it was and where the light was. I searched and search and only got small glimpses from time to time until I came to understand for me that maybe it wasn't a tunnel. Maybe it was a light at the end of a Tuna which kept swimming all over the place and fast. So for me it became humorously "the light at the end of a tuna" and now I understand better. Sometimes I see it...sometimes I don't. LOL Keep on keeping on ((((hugs))))
Hey (((SS))) - great to see you again. I get it as do most here. It happens and we make it worse by beating ourselves up when 'life' takes us to different places. This for me is yet another part of the disease. It wants us to return to a place of confusion, distorted thinking, sadness, anxiety, etc. That's how it affects those of us who live with active disease and/or love someone with it. Yet, my own experience is this is when we really, really grow. We become Aware that we've stepped off our path, We Accept it and We take Action to get back. No harm and no foul. The three A(s) are alive and well for everyone working a recovery program.
B2B - Back to Basics is what's helped me get back to the middle of my boat when 'life' happens. While I would love to insulate myself from every possible recovery threat, it's just not possible. It is all around me and will be as best I can see. Today, I can accept and embrace that and arm myself with our tools to do the best I can as an imperfect person, one day at a time. You got this - we've missed you and keep coming back!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Our sponsors are just a phone call away too.
