The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Self-honesty: The writer speaks about the difficulty they had when first coming to F2F meetings. They told funny stories , discussed problems they had already solved, and just couldn't let anyone see their pain and suffering.
They came to realize that the only way to receive help was to allow others to see their honest problems. And then they could benefit from seeing that others have also taken this huge risk.
Today's reminder: In an alcoholic environment, I had good reasons to hide my feelings, making light of serious situations, overworking, overplaying, managing to focus on everything but myself. Today I have other options. I can begin to listen to what my heart has been trying to tell me, and I can look for someone trustworthy with whom I can share it.
Quote from In All Our Affairs: It may feel like an enormous risk, but talking honestly about the situation is the key to healing.
I think due to my age, career in mental health, and enough pain and suffering to fill the Grand Canyon, I made myself talk from my very first meeting. And it is so true, that we cannot heal in a vacuum. Although I found the group scary at first, I cannot even explain the magic of healing that takes place in F2F meetings. Everyone who walks through the door of my meeting has an understanding of some part of my life experiences. To be understood and accepted, with all of my flaws along with my assets, allows me to grow in a way I never thought possible. Lyne
Good Morning Lyne a great reminder of the importance of honesty in our sharing with other alanon members and at meetings. I minimized my concerns in order to appear confident.Program principles and other members taught me that sharing in a caring environment is essential to my recovery. Thank you for your service
I had the benefit of counseling as a pre-teen and young adult, and so I was familiar with the concept that I needed to share openly if I was going to benefit from the AlAnon group. And, I've always been serious. Too serious, according to some of my elementary school teachers. Using humor to mask my feelings or a situation has not been one of my go-to-coping strategies.
The part I did struggle with was openly sharing about how my wife's relapses were impacting me a few years into my program. In my home group, people tend to look to me for strength, and it took me a few weeks to realize that sharing openly about how I was struggling and unsure was exactly the right thing to do.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your ESH and shares. I too wore a mask as a result of living with this disease, and loving people with it. I had to fight my ego and my fear to get honest in recovery and it was not easy. Old habits die hard in my case, yet when others shared freely and exposed their truth, it helped greatly.
I had this insane notion that we were supposed to hide real feelings and act as if all was well with the world - this was part of 'adulting'. Being open and honest has instead freed me from the many distorted ideas I had and allowed me to just be me - an imperfect person who has life issues just like all others.
It's not easy to open up and say I am hurting, I am broken, I am ........................ Yet, when I do this and stay open, I find peace in my heart and mind faster, which gives me the open space in self to keep learning and changing and growing.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good morning!
Todays reading really surprised me and I think for today I really needed to hear it. Its really hard for me to open up to people because I have been burned in the past. But with honestly and looking at the situation, taking a pause. I have learned to select the right people to help me with my problems. Even at the age I am, I realize that I still tend to be so closed off sometimes. But with practice and diligence, I dont need to be like that and alanon has helped with that.
