The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for October 22 speaks about keeping the focus on ourselves so that we can learn what we're doing that hurts us. The reading suggests that we examine our motives at every turn and attempt to find the courage to face our real motives without deceiving ourselves.
We must remember that we can build a successful life so that it is important not to drown out our good qualities.
We must review everything as recognizing the good is not an act of pride or conceit, because we can experience true humility and still acknowledge our gifts and feel the joy, and satisfaction they bring.
Quote is from Walt Whitman:", I am larger, better than I thought I did not know I held so much goodness" What a powerful thought to meditate on
I love the vibe of this reading Betty. Thank you for the service of sharing it. Once not so long ago this message would have been something I hoped for, today it is something I take strength from. It is not an easy road and reluctance to look at motives out of fear of confirming all the negative thoughts I secretly carried about myself really did get in the way of progress. The recognition of goodness is not about perfection as I once believed. We can build successful lives by acknowledging the good in ourselves is really ringing true for me at this time. For so many years, from a very young age I have held a beleif that I am less than, flawed, and inauthentic. Today I was riding back from uni on my scooter ( a joy in itself) and my thought and joy was beleiving possibly for the first time that I am now in a stage of authenticity. I am doing the work. My gift is my brain and I'm using it. Looks along with charm born of keen observation were bonus items I worked to full advantage ( manipulation to be perfectly honest, motivated by
need, fear and also boredom)but I think gifts are different. Gifts require action to be opened and therein lies the reward of joy. I have always believed we all have gifts, I just didn't know how they worked nor did I grasp what mine was. I'm so grateful to be growing as a human being in this programme.
Thanks Betty for your service and a4l for your share. Learning what I was doing to hurt myself was a totally new concept. I could see how many others were hurting me, but not myself . Without putting the focus on me I couldn't have started healing. It's really so simple yet so complicated at the same time. Maybe it's just easer to look at the other "bad guys." I became a bad guy to myself, but didn't understand it until Alanon opened the door and turned on the light, Lyne
Lovely share, a4l! Thank you to Betty who first posted this particular ODAT.
For many of us, when we first arrived here, we could not conceptualize that there was anything wrong with US! We knew all the people who were causing our lives to be chaotic... except for ourselves!
Once we come to accept our part, sometimes we get stuck with the knowledge that our ways that we've learned were not healthy... and thus get kind of stuck in a place of doubting ourselves... of believing intuitively that which is good in ourselves... "we" always end up referring to the "Yes, but I learned I am (fill in the blank here). For a time, we are emotionally stuck here.
If we stick around long enough, we learn to be easy on ourselves. We re-learn that many of our good qualities can become good again... and we become amazed at our strengths, resilience, talents, gifts.
I loved the quote! I think I am at the rediscovering part of myself... learning how the gifts I have can be used for good not for evil! LOL!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Betty for the daily and your service. Thanks to all for the shares and ESH. I really like Walt's quote - it reminds me how very little I thought of 'me' when I arrived and how that's changed. The change did not come easy nor did it come fast, but I no longer feel destroyed, less than or broken by this disease in others.
I am grateful that I worked to find my part as well as my motives. It was much easier to be in denial and place all the blame on my A(s) before recovery, yet I was a miserable, negative, know-it-all human being. True serenity and joy were the results of looking for the answers within and trusting in a power greater than self.
There are days where I work it one hour at a time - I am there presently and am so, so grateful for the slogan, "This too shall pass..." (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for your service, Betty, and for all ESH shared... This reading was read at a meeting yesterday and came just at the right time for me, as I was considering sharing on the external positive changes in my life that came since I'm in Alanon and had all but decided against proposing this as a topic when this reading was read so I went ahead. Despite how at the beginning of every meeting I hear or read myself how we share experience, strength and hope, my head can convince me not to so that. Well, the good part is there's hope I've learned this lesson, perhaps. :) P. S. Hi all!
I am trying to "observe" me more..."checking my motives" a LOT more....and if motive is not clean?? OK, its OK , I saw it..and I am willing to respond to it......and yea, I make a ledger at times....my assets and my liabilities.....and I see loads of assets now....I am not what happened to me...it is something ugly...dark...yes...but it does NOT define WHO...WHAT I am....
