The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Posting a bit early as the conference I am hosting starts tomorrow.
The Courage to Change reading for Oct. 24 speaks about the process of recovery as being like peeling an onion - we peel away a layer at a time, often shedding a few tears as we do. But the author thinks more about the bark of a birch tree. The birch tree's bark in needed for protection, but as the tree grows, the bark peels away naturally, slowly, of its own accord. If the bark is removed prematurely by outside forces, the tree is left vulnerable to infection, fungus, and insects. Like the birch tree, the author can be wounded if stripped prematurely of their defenses. In AlAnon, we are encouraged to grow and recover at our own paces. Just as a birch tree naturally releases its bark for growth, we, too, can release the defenses that we no longer need.
Today's Reminder: I have an innate ability to heal and to grow. I don't need to force myself to change. All I have to do is show up and be willing. When I am ready, the changes will come easily.
Today's Quote: "We all have our own answers within ourselves and can find them with the help of our Al-Anon Program and a Higher Power." ...In All Our Affairs
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I grew up surrounded by birch trees, so I identify with this reading in a personal way. One thing I appreciated most about the program was that I could progress at my own pace. I could do what felt right when I was ready. One of the best pieces of advice I got was "If you are unsure, wait." For someone who was used to charging forward and "solving problems" this approach was new, different, and stressful! But, I have found that waiting until I am sure of decisions is the best course of action. Waiting until I am ready to grow also takes patience - but the reward is confidence in myself and in my decisions.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Hello Skorpi Love this reminder. I can easily imagine the bark of a tree protecting the tree and understand that the defects which i embraced intended to be like that bark(a protection) from the insanity in which i lived. Unfortunately my defects (unlike the bark did not protect me but hindered my growth. Love the quote that assures us that we have an innate ability to heal and grow. All we need to so is to be willing and show up. Great reminder.
Thanks for your service good luck at the conference
Skorpi, thank you for your service. I really appreciate the point that if the bark is peeled away prematurely it leaves the tree vulnerable. I believe our program is gentle in that it does not rush us to drop our defenses before we are ready.
Best of luck with your conference. I admire your courage. Managing a big event is a stressful idea for me, and brings up fears of how many things could go wrong, that everything is on my shoulders, etc. I am learning to have more hope, patience and flexibility -- and especially to seek and accept help with things like this.
Thank you Skorpi and for above shares. I thought of an artichoke, with those little sharp points at the tips on the outer leaves, but as those are taken away you reach the heart, free of thorns. I can only give thanks to our program for permission to be myself, I can make mistakes and try and learn from them, and the fellowship that accepts me as I am. As I can't force solutions with others, nor can I force myself. I can take time, think things through, and have amazing support all around me from program people. Grateful member, Lyne
Thank you for your service, Skorpi! I too, applaud your efforts on organizing and implementing this conference! Like, Freetime, I would find this hugely stressful as I know things like this bring my "perfectionism" to the forefront! So I admire you! Good wishes for a successful event!
I have always liked the onion analogy... but I also like the birch tree one as well, b/c the "bark" seems to me our layers of protective adaptations we have built up over years of dealing/living with an addict/alcoholic. Many times these things cannot be just stripped away before we are ready. So this analogy is also appropriate.
I have found that healing takes time. Some goes fast... some more slowly. That is why this program is so good... it is able to adjust for each person's needs as long as they keep "working it."
Hump day folks! Hope it is a good day for everyone!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Good morning MIP - thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. Thank you all above me for your shares and ESH. I especially love the reminder in the reading about just showing up and being willing. For me, as a member of both programs, there is no greater test for today than trying to be of service to someone detoxing and is absolutely crazy, a bit hostile mixed with extreme depression. I am no expert but I can be patient, tolerant and practice the pause...
I am grateful that Al-Anon showed me how to accept myself and others as works in progress. Allowing myself to let go of perfection, outcomes and others and just embrace 'what is' has really helped me live moment by moment, day by day. I am 100% OK with slowly healing and progressing as I believe that's how I learn best.
Skorpi - I am sending you tons of successful thoughts for your conference. For all - thanks for being a part of my journey and happy Wednesday!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
((((((((((((((Skorpi)))))))))))))))))) OMG........thank you
I had to rehome a puppy because she was just not a fit....I took excellent care of her, but I did not give her the hugs and cuddles that I did my 2 pit/labs....yea, i was never mean to her, (OMG..shoot me if I EVER be mean to an animal) I was KIND to her but not the affectionate , playful pet mom I usually am....I played SOME with her but not like the other 2....So I decided to find a loving, better home for her....I found this wonderful couple who fell in love with this little ball of fur who deserves the happy home and EVERYTHING.....She got it now......
When she left, I cried...I cried for her childhood, though well taken care of, was missing the hugs and cuddles....I cried because MY childhood was 100x worse with not only being left out, but I was brutalized....I was finally able to cry over my dead childhood....Later, when I can really settle down...I do miss the puppy, but am thrilled she has her loving family.....but Later, i am going to have sorta of a funeral for my own childhood....always left out....and unlike the puppy, i WAS abused and neglected......but something about deciding to find her a more tactile, affectionate home triggered in me my own losses and like the burch tree, maybe I was not ready to feel that pain....the tears flowed.....a release......
