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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Principles over personalities
Post Info TOPIC: Principles over personalities
mamalioness


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Principles over personalities
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Principles Before Personalities

"Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities."

Twelfth Tradition

This daily talks about how this principles over personalities can become a cliche, but it is no less important...either here or in our daily lives...we must, if working program, listen to our conscience...do whats right...no mater who is involved...

It also asks about what does this really mean??? Principles before personalities.......what????   it means Honesty, Humility, compassion, tolerance, patience with EVERYONE...whether we like them or not....if we put principles before personalities, we learn to treat EVERYONE equal....this is the 12 step cornerstone....apply principles in ALL our affairs....12 traditions impresses that we apply principles before personalities in ALL our relations...

Practicing this is for ALL phases of our lives....friends...family....recovery rooms...chat meets..face to face meets....absolutely ALL phases of our lives...

Just for today: I will listen to my conscience and do what's right. My focus will be on principles, not on people's personalities.

 

***********************************

My take:

I have a facebook women supporting other women and we are growing in numbers...I sorta "season" it with 12 steps, and slogans flavor, but it is mainly for women supporting other women...

There is this one Gal, I had a private message "issues" with....I don't like her...I don't like her crosstalking...Have warned her and she very resentfully ceased and desisted under my warning that This would not be tolerated and I would have to remove her....she is difficult to say the least and very unpleasant, but she has good posts...posts good wisdom stuff...she HAS her PLUSSES.......I let her stay because she stopped crosstalking/advising/telling others what to do and/or shaming if they don't "think" her way....she is refraining from that...observing the group boundaries...So the RIGHT thing was for me to let her stay.....I even post on her posts to keep "equality" in the picture....I dont' just post on my favorites and ignore/shun her posts.....I put principles over personalities and I see , because of this, my behavior, I see her "settling down"  some????  maybe looking through the other persons telescope and respecting that others may have a different "take" on their problems/issues, etc.......

by putting principles over personalities, I am fair...just...kind...same boundary for my friends and the non friends....and the end result is the members feel safe and EQUAL in my group....putting principles b4 personalities DOES WORK.....



-- Edited by mamalioness on Thursday 25th of October 2018 12:15:47 PM

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Rose, a work in progress!!!

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DavidG


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   Mama... have heard those last three words- in tradition 12 quoted any number of times... 

i recall a girlfriend learing at me with one eye. [Her mum had knocked out the other eye.]

In a half-joking way she would say: "Are you cruising for a bruising?"

And i used to think- if that is all we have together- then why not?

 

Principles over personalities- it is about being able to show up, first. Face up- when we can- when we are able...

   an' ah caint think of the third line. Maybe "fun up". "join the human race".

This is yet to be for me- but getting closer... biggrin ...

thanks for the thoughts to hang my hopes on, Mama...



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hotrod


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Hello Rose love this concept Before program I ALWAYS placed personalities over principles because I never valued my principles or thought them important. Today thanks, to program, I have stopped reacting and have learned the value of solid principles so that by keeping the focus on myself, identifying my motives and the principles I want to live by has helped to guide my life and responses. For example (No gossiping, blaming or judging and treating all with courtesy and respect)regardless of how annoying i find them This is huge and a big change for me
Great topic Thanks

PS David I was saddened to read of your female friend whose mom had "Knocked out her eye"  How very unfortunate   I do hope she found a good life 



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Betty

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PosiesandPuppies


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Thank you for this post, Rose... It is a BEAUTIFUL WAY TO LIVE...

I really needed this today, as the climate in our nation today is causing pain in my heart. I wish everyone could adopt this way of living!

I really, really liked how you used this Step 12 in your Woman's group!!! Very successful!! And, it appears that by leading by example, she may be changing her ways!!!

(((Rose))))
I really value when you share!

Peace

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lookingup


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Thank you Rose for sharing this,
I have learned the values of this important reminder also,
Placing principles above personalities and others helps with my showing up,and treating all as equals .
I'm grateful for this tradition to live by as well as the rest of the traditions............hugs LU

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Jozie


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(((Rosie)))

Thank you for Sharing...More Often then Not I need a Gentle Reminder of this, I truly Try Daily to "Do Better & Be Better" but on Some Days I Fail, On those Days however, I'm getting better at Noticing it Before I'm Neck Deep in the Quick Sand...

I Love that This Program Keeps me on My Toes, and Challenges Me Daily Not just to Be the Example, but to Lead By Example... It Truly is Amazing How Taking Care of Myself, just makes Me Want to Be a Better Person Daily... Who Knew it Could Happen :) Coming Here to MIP also Helps So Much :)

Friends in Recovery

Jozie

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Temple


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Thanks, Rosie

Great stuff.

And Thanks, Josie, for

"Noticing it Before I'm Neck Deep in the Quick Sand..."

Sometimes a phrase or a slogan just jumps off the page.

Hugs,
Temple

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mamalioness


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"Noticing it Before I'm Neck Deep in the Quick Sand..."

(((((((((Jozie)))))))) yep, that quote is a winner...thank you, my friend, for sharing this pearl

Hey Temple, I agree there are these little "tid bits" of wisdom that jump off the page

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Rose, a work in progress!!!

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mamalioness


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thank you everybody for your FANTASTIC shares....I always log off this page a wee bit better....Job MAY just keep going after all...Boss and I shared some great ideas, I was happy that he showed his trust and confidence in me to have shared such privacy, but ya know??? I've been there for 10 years and I shared with HIM that I am in 12 steps, Al-anon and yea, I've grown in those 10 years...I owe everything to this program and my fellow travelers....we just MAY be able to stay open...We will have to make some serious changes, he liked my suggestions and hes a bright young fellow and yea, we CAN...we have a shot a not losing our jobs.....Still!!! ODAT and steps 1,2,3 are right in the forefront

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Rose, a work in progress!!!

KEEP IT SIMPLE_EASY DOES IT_KEEP THE FOCUS ON ME
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